ECW Hardcore TV #38 28/12/1993

The Pitbull vs Chad Austin

Pitbull is a solo Gary Wolfe. Pretty much a mugging for poor Chad Austin, who gets folded in half with a back suplex early. Wolfe is someone I don’t really enjoy, but he looked good in a squash environment, hitting nice fistdrops and planting Austin with a big powerbomb. Austin helps him out by taking a 360 bump on an average looking clothesline. Pitbull gets cocky, constantly picking up Austin on pinfalls, and suddenly Austin gets a terrible looking leg lariat for the shock win. Quite fun stuff.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Don E Allen

Efficient, if not especially interesting, squash here. Rebel jumps Allen at the bell and doesn’t really let up. This is all basic stuff, just slams and punches, albeit well executed. Big piledriver finishes off Allen.

Sabu vs Terry Funk

This is for Sabu’s heavyweight title, and is a bit of a clipped mess. It’s no DQ, so we get some brawling on the outside to start, culminating in Funk slamming Sabu onto a table and then flattening him with a chair. Sabu eats a couple of piledrivers before we clip to suddenly find him in control. Well, that’s a bit jarring. We get a ref bump, Funk gets thrown through a table, and a load of interference from the Bad Breed, Shane Douglas, Sherri Martel and Paul Heyman, finishing with Funk on top for the win. Just a mess to follow thanks to the clipping and assorted chaos.

ECW Hardcore TV #29 26/10/1993

The Bad Breed vs Don E Allen & Chad Austin

Fun squash, with the Bad Breed looking like fun tubby bullies. There’s more than a hint of the Nasty Boys in their performance, not just because Axl is a dead spit for late 90’s fatter Brian Knobbs. Ian probably shows a bit more than Axl here, loved his full Nelson suplex on Allen before catching a top rope crossbody by Austin, and slamming him into the corner, ultimately sending him over the top rope. Axl hits a second rope leg lariat, essentially just hurling his massive frame at Austin, before a rocket launcher splash puts Ian on top for the three.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Chris Michaels

I have, at worst, as soft spot for both guys, so the fact this ends up as the backdrop for a Sal Bellomo angle is disappointing. Basically, we’re joined-in-progress with Rebel decimating Michaels, picking him up on pins after a DDT and a piledriver, but Bellomo stops him before he’s able to attack Michaels with a chair. Probably the highlight was Rebel holding the chair over his head, dropping it in shock on seeing Bellomo, and the chair accidentally landing on the head of the fallen referee

There’s supposed to be a Bad Company vs Snuka/Muraco match, but the Public Enemy destroy Bad Company before the bell, so Snuka/Muraco win by forfeit

Shane Douglas vs JT Smith

This is an ECW title match, but Smith is going in with a bad knee. Smith gets in zero offence, as Douglas goes right to the knee and works it over. Smith can’t even get in an early slam attempt without his leg collapsing. Douglas puts in a figure four and Terry Funk throws in the towel on Smith’s behalf. Nothing to this, but it’s all set up for the post-match angle where Funk beats up Smith, annoyed at his reaction to the match being stopped.

ECW Hardcore TV #27 12/10/1993

Abdullah The Butcher, Terry Funk & JT Smith vs Kevin Sullivan, Jimmy Snuka & Don Muraco

Joined-in-progress brawl, which at least manages to feel hatefilled during it’s brief running time. No hint of structure, just 6 guys mainly fighting outside the ring, which helps cover up for the advanced age of it’s participants. I like that they made it feel like JT was on the same level as the veterans, previously he’s felt like someone who could easily be beaten by any half-competent pro. Smith even gets the win after Snuka throws powder in Muraco’s face by accident, allowing JT to get a sloppy small package for the win. Not blaming JT for that, by the way, feels like it would be quite tricky to tuck the large belly of Muraco into a small ball.

Malia Hosaka vs Molly McShane

Hosaka has a sheen of professionalism here that keeps this match on the right tracks. McShane is willing, but definitely green and looks slightly lost in places. She barely gets enough height on a leapfrog and struggles to lift Malia on a gutwrench suplex. Love Hosaka hitting a spinning kick on a charging McShane and she hits a great top rope cannonball for the win.

Pat Tanaka & Paul Diamond vs The Bad Breed (Ian & Axl Rotten)

The Bad Breed feel very much like a cut-price Nasty Boys in this bout, maybe lacking the sloppy violence that the Nasties would bring to the match. Tanaka and Diamond both look great here. Tanaka hits a really quick flurry of violent kicks that looks terrific, and he gets really velocity on a flying chop from a standing position. Meanwhile, Diamond hits a great springboard bulldog on Ian from the corner. The Bad Breed briefly control Tanaka, and look fine in doing so. Ian’s top rope Bansai Drop was a nice move that I thought he was certain to miss. Diamond gets the hot tag and quickly dispatches Ian with a series of moves, culminating in a double superkick with Tanaka and a big back suplex. This was real good.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Don E Allen

Quick squash, with Allen getting a short flurry, but falling prey to a nice backbreaker and a leaping spinebuster by the Rebel.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Chris Michaels

Very odd, we get Michaels and Rebel randomly falling out after a post-match promo in the ring together, which feels like it should lead to a future match…then we get it this episode just after some backstage footage focused on Sabu. Disappointingly short, as I thought Michaels looks good here. He showed real fire as he unloads on Rebel in the corner, but a loaded punch by the Rebel gives him a quick win. 

ECW Hardcore TV #15 20/07/1993

The Super Destroyers vs The Suicide Blondes

The Blondes are represented here by Hotbody and Michaels, following Candido’s arm break the week before. This is title vs career, with the Blondes putting their ECW jobs on the line. This is definitely the best match these two teams have put on against each other, feels like they’ve finally found some chemistry. There is an early odd moment, where Michaels takes ages climbing to the top rope, which feels like it’s telegraphing a miss, only to connect with a top rope splash. Aside from that, this is good, with the Blondes working over the arm of one Destroyer. They stick to sensible tag formula, with the Blondes luring in the other Destroyer in order to assault his partner’s arm behind the ref’s back. The hot tag is a bit shit though, as the Destroyer decides to stop selling, punch Michaels once and tag out. Didn’t feel built to, and the lukewarm pop reflected that. The ref gets distracted by a brawl on the floor, and Candido sneaks in with a shot from his cast to give the Blondes the win.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Larry Winters

Took me three goes to watch this match, which literally put me to sleep twice. Not very exciting, Winters still comes across as clunky and his hiptoss looks woeful. Even with my self-confessed soft spot for the Rebel, I didn’t find anything here to recommend, and I was glad when Winters intercepted a cane that Tony Stetson threw to the Rebel, hitting Rebel with it for the win.

Jimmy Snuka vs Terry Funk

This is for the TV title. Actually feels like a big main event match, two big stars pairing off. This is Snuka’s best performance in ECW so far, and it feels like that’s due to Funk’s selling making him look a million dollars. Funk gives up a lot of the opening part of the match, taking big bumps and flailing wildly when taken out by Snuka. Credit due to Snuka though, as he looked more sure on his feet than in the past, and seemed to exert a bit more effort. Probably would feel a bit more motivated against Funk than facing Glen Osbourne again. There is one shaky spot, where they attempt a series of quick rolling cradles which are actually really slow and look bad. The end is a fun copout, as they exchange headbutts, before Funk goes headbutt crazy and nuts the ref. He also gives the two replacement refs a noggin-knocker with Snuka, before the Dangerous Alliance comes in and the match is called out. Wild brawl ensues, with the Alliance, the Suicide Blondes, the Russians, the Super Destroyers….basically the entire locker room, all coming out to brawl. Decent way to end the show.

ECW Hardcore TV #12 22/06/1993

Don Muraco vs Tommy Cairo

Man, this is probably Muraco’s worst performance in ECW to this point, and he really looks past his prime. He takes a stumbling slow motion bump off a Cairo crossbody and barely gets over on a backdrop. Cairo looks decent here, but he’s really facing a guy who’s just stumbling through the match. Amusing scene as a kid in a “We Can’t Dance” Genesis shirt steals Eddie Gilbert’s cap at ringside. The end is all sorts of terrible, as Cairo suplexes Muraco, but Muraco just rolls him over on the pin attempt and gets the three. Not even a hint of struggle from Cairo. Really odd ending that makes everyone look stupid.

JT Smith vs Dark Patriot

Patriot looks really good in the early stages, really solid execution of his moves with a nice punch and real snap to a back elbow. Smith isn’t very crisp, but he is very willing and looks like he’s putting some effort in. Still, his flying headscissors is sloppy and he barely glances Patriot with a moonsault for two. There’s a ref bump and the two battle to the commentary balcony. In an insane bump, Patriot knocks Smith to the floor a good 15-20 ft below and then dives off onto Smith. Patriot gets back in the ring and wins by countout. Nutso bump from both guys, and there are signs that things are getting a bit closer to the familiar ECW style

Rockin Rebel & Tony Stetson vs The Sandman & Larry Winters

The heel team are substantially better than the faces here, so it’s good that Rebel and Stetson control the majority of the bout. Stetson bumps about to make Winters’ floaty offence look good, despite there being so much air shown on a kneelift. Stetson’s offence isn’t flashy, but it at least looks effective and like it would actually cause pain. Sandman tags in and hits a dreadful DDT on Stetson before another crap ending (this episode is rife with them). Peaches gets on the apron to distract Rebel, openly slaps him in front of the ref and Sandman rolls him up to get the win following what feels like a REALLY fast count. Good match until the end.

The Suicide Blondes (Chris Candido, Johnny Hotbody & Richard Michaels) vs The Super Destroyers & Sal Bellomo

Surprisingly fun 6-man, due to more fun bumping and stooging by the Blondes. They make the basic offence of the Destroyers look deadly. Hotbody eats an ugly looking powerbomb from a Destroyer, but the Destroyers seem to want to beat up all three Blondes, and force the tag to Michaels. Michaels takes an amazing bump when he misses a top rope splash that gets insane height. Even Bellomo does the first cool thing I’ve seen from him in ECW, putting Hotbody in a figure-four legvine, then leaping down on his legs, which looks painful. The Blondes finally get control, but their cheating mean things quickly break down. In the melee, Paul E Dangerously gets involved to check on injured Blondes manager Hunter Q Robbins III, but gets levelled by a Destroyer. This lures out the Dangerous Alliance with weapons, and a big brawl kicks off to end the episode. 

3PW United We Stand, Divided We Brawl

Lovefilm obviously felt that it was too long since I reviewed any 3PW shows, so decided to send me one as my latest rental. Thanks guys (I think)

CJ O’Doyle vs Rob Eckos

Not really much to this, good or bad. It’s just perfectly ok wrestling. O’Doyle has a nice looking powerslam and Eckos’ superkick looked good enough to have won the match (though it only got 2). I enjoyed Eckos’ character work, posing after hitting an Alpine Line, then realising he could pin O’Doyle and rushing to try and get the pinfall. The end sees O’Doyle hit this clothesline that the commentary team have been hyping up (it’s just a clothesline), which only gets two, before Eckos hits a sloppy Alpine Line from the second rope for the pin.

Jack Victory vs Rockin’ Rebel

This was rubbish. As usual in 3PW, Rebel seems to get paired with someone so bad that the Rebel is the worker of the match. Both guys are working heel here too, and for some reason end up trying to double team the ref, only to both eat a double clothesline. This doesn’t earn a DQ however, and the bout continues with Victory not actually being able to Irish whip his opponent properly! How is that possible? Rebel tries a pin with his feet on the rope, but gets caught by the ref. Victory tries the same, and gets the three count. Afterwards, both guys beat up the ref. Just terrible.

Gary Wolfe vs Damian Adams

Apparently, this was set up Wolfe assaulted Adams, who had beaten him in a previous match. This explains why Adams attacks Wolfe as soon as he hits the ring, working a sustained assault, until a single Wolfe clothesline seems to basically kill him. Like, Wolfe picks him up for a suplex, and Adams is barely on his feet, arm dangling dead by his side. Believe me, the clotheslines certainly didn’t look that impressive. Adams is able to come back with a nice dive to the floor, before Wolfe hits 2 powerbombs in the ring (before the second powerbomb, the commentary team seem aghast that Wolfe is going to try a second powerbomb. “This is inhumane” is uttered, right before Adams kicks out on 2). A Burning Hammer gets the win, and the whole thing is less than four minutes long. Really odd booking, as Adams looked like a chump, despite apparently winning the last match.

There’s another match on the DVD listing, which is supposed to be a bra and panties match between Jasmin St Claire and Gorgeous George, which is basically just them stripping, kissing and spanking Velvet Sky over Tod Gordon’s knee. I’m just glad my fiancée didn’t come in while in was watching this nonsense. Moving swiftly on…

Low Ki vs Ruckus vs Joey Matthews

This is elimination rules, and that actually makes this a really enjoyable bout. The reason being, Joey Matthews wisely stays outside and allows Ruckus and Low Ki to wrestle, only entering when Low Ki has beaten Ruckus, essentially giving us two Low Ki singles bouts instead of the usual three-way nonsense.

Ki/Ruckus, in this situation, is like an appetiser, and is pretty fun in that respect. I enjoyed their little section on the mat, where Ruckus was surprisingly competent, and whilst both guys had some fun offense, Ki’s stuff just looked nastier, finishing Ruckus off with the Tidal Crush and a Ki Krusher.

Ki/Matthews was really good stuff, loved Matthews using the ref to block a Tidal Crush and poking Ki in the eye over the ref’s shoulder. Matthew’s offense is a bit nastier than Ruckus’, and Ki misses a corner charge to give Matthews a focal point to work on. Matthews may not be flashy, but you can tell he’s got a brain for wrestling, everything looks professional and shows no sign of breaking down. You can see why WWE would want him as the anchor for the MNM team. He also isn’t scared of Ki’s blows, taking a big kick right to the jaw. Ki’s rolling kick in the corner looks vicious, and I loved the fluidity of Matthews trying a reverse suplex and Ki quickly countering with a Dragon Clutch. Ki goes for the Ki Krusher, but his shoulder can’t support the weight, and Matthews reverses to a small package for the win. Loved this whole deal.

Monsta Mack & Mike Kruel vs Roadkill & the Blue Meanie

Thought Kruel looked excellent in this match, easily the standout. He schools Meanie on the mat, working a series of holds that actually made “Blue Meanie matwork” seem ok. The heels work a decent enough heat on Meanie, and I loved Mack standing in the middle of the ring, smugly posing to draw in Roadkill, whilst Kruel choked Meanie in the corner behind him. Kruel works over Meanie’s back, with some nasty kneedrops and painful looking forearms. Meanie’s comeback is pretty unexciting, as it consists of him in a Mack sleeper that he just casually escapes from and reverses. Roadkill doesn’t display a single emotion in this bout, even when a tag is disallowed because the ref didn’t see it. He’s equally inexpressive in the terrible finishing run – Roadkill brings out a chain, gets it taken away by the ref, so instead whips out a sock for a mandible claw. As the ref removes this, Mack clocks Roadkill with a chair. Hilariously, the ref definitely sees the chair in his hand, turning around to find Roadkill knocked out in the middle of the ring and Mack still holding a chair. Despite this, he seems happy enough to count the three. Sigh….at least Kruel was decent.

Matt Striker vs Jimmy Snuka

Striker comes out doing an excellent impression of Roddy Piper, you can tell he’s loving himself out there. Striker blindsides Snuka, and hits some weak offence, but gets caught with a REALLY soft backbreaker that puts him down for about 30 seconds and unable to avoid the Superfly Splash. This made Snuka’s 1993 ECW matches look like Iron Man matches.

Sabu vs Jerry Lynn

Sometimes, you just have to accept things aren’t for you. This was very much a case of two aging pros giving the crowd what they want, it just happens to be that I don’t enjoy what they like. Sabu injures his leg early on, which gets briefly worked over by Lynn, but has no impact on the rest of the match. This was really a bunch of spots loosely welded together. Some of those spots were pretty spectacular (Lynn hurling Sabu into rows of chairs and then diving in himself with a big crossbody was nuts) and some were pretty fun (Lynn getting up as Sabu tried the triple jump moonsault, causing Sabu to fall face-first into the chair). But there were no transitions to comebacks, no real sustained selling…just no glue to really hold it all together. As I said, the crowd loved it, so it did what it was supposed to. There’s one terrible spot right at the end, where Sabu is supposed to rana Lynn off the top through a table, but what actually happened is Sabu backflipped off, then a second or two passed before Lynn frontflipped himself onto a table, which didn’t break. A top rope Sabu legdrop got the job done.

Raven & the Sandman vs John Zandig & the Wifebeater

This….this was an utter mess. The basic gist is that 3PW commissioner Raven hates Sandman, taking away his Metallica entrance, his beer and smokes, but still orders him to be his tag partner for this bout. Seems like a partner you can rely on. Raven then accepts it when Zandig asks for a stipulation that he be put in charge if his team wins. For a supreme thinker, this seems like an idiotic request to accept.

So anyway, the bout starts with Sandman and Wifebeater working armdrag and hip toss exchanges. This lasts maybe a minute, before we get a punch-walk section, where they head to the balcony and the Raven/Sandman team throw Wifebeater off the balcony through a table. They return to Zandig, who’s somehow bleeding from the head and work a mild heat on him. After a while, Wifebeater returns and waits on the apron patiently to make a tag. Seems to me like the rules went out of the window when you got slammed off a balcony, mate. He gets in and works over Sandman…then somehow we end up with Sandman playing face-in-peril and Raven coming in as the fired up hot tag. The fuck is going on? Raven bulldogs Zandig through a table, but Sandman decides it’s time to DDT his partner and give the CZW boys the win. This is so Zandig can give him back his beer, fags and Metallica music….only the DVD doesn’t have the licensing for that, so we get a pissy muzak version of Enter Sandman dubbed in for 5 seconds, then the DVD abruptly goes to the credits. It wasn’t boring, I must admit, but certainly not what I would call “good” either.

ECW Hardcore TV #7 18/05/1993

Every week, it feels like the show is clawing it's way towards a somewhat watchable match, and this week we get two sorta-ok tag matches, which feel like manna from the Gods in this watching project. I keep seeing the thumbnail on the WWE Network where Stan Hansen makes an appearance and that feels like the only thing spurring me on to continue watching...

They actually start this broadcast by showing the previous week's tag title change in it's entirety. A match I wasn't planning on watching again and certainly not one I'm going to write about again. It's still not very good.

Jimmy Snuka & Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith & Max Thrasher

Another week, another match where Smith faces off against Gilbert. Liked the early going where the faces worked the arm of Gilbert – they may not have done it in an interesting fashion, but I loved how both Gilbert and (on the outside) Paul E Dangerously sold it as the most painful thing on earth. Also like Gilbert gaining control through the medium of a poke to the eye. The end is odd, as Thrasher accidentally drops an elbow on Smith whilst trying to break up a pinfall, then Smith accidentally knocks Thrasher off the apron trying to knee Gilbert. This causes Thrasher to turn on Smith, tripping him from the apron and leaving him prone for a Superfly Splash (literally, the only move Snuka does all match).

The Suicide Blondes vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

Non-title match here. This is four of the better guys in ECW at the time, so it’s no surprise that this is a perfectly functional tag team match. Nothing amazing, but certainly good enough. I enjoyed the opening quick teamwork by Winters and Stetson, and the Blondes also look good when they get control. They work a decent heat on Winters, but don’t wear him down enough before the Rocket Launcher, sending Candido down onto Winters knees. The champs hit stereo sunset flips on the Blondes for the three, with commentator Stevie Wonderful fucking up by yelling “They’ve beaten the champs”.

Don Muraco vs Glen Osbourne

Osbourne is really poor here, his armdrags are woeful and he hits an incredibly soft clothesline on Muraco. Muraco hits a stun gun and a one-armed tombstone to pick up a quick win in a bad bout.

The Sandman vs Rockin’ Rebel

Another match for Sandman’s ECW title, with their respective valets (Peaches and Tigra) banned from ringside. Rebel does a lot of stalling early on, making Sandman come to him. Every time Sandman builds momentum, Rebel rolls outside. Smart wrestling. Big difference in execution levels between the two, Sandman hitting crap dropkicks and almost falling over hitting a back elbow, whilst Rebel at least has a nice looking clothesline to drop Sandman. Yet another shitty ending between these two, as both men get knocked down and both valets come to ringside, get in a fight and the match is called off.

ECW Hardcore TV #6 11/05/1993

The Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

This is hair vs titles, with Tommy Cairo handcuffed to the Destroyers’ manager Hunter Q Robbins on the floor. It’s also no DQ, which Jay Sulli on commentary seems to keep forgetting. The opening stages where they brawl outside are actually pretty exciting, and the Destroyers actually look like big killers for a change. The camera cutting regularly to Cairo and Robbins makes the match harder to follow, but then it transpires there’s no real match structure anyway, so we’re not missing anything. No real heat worked on the faces, just guys getting in and out of the ring, and no transitions to offence, just guys deciding it’s their turn to go on the offensive. Winters has the wimpiest kicks to the head I’ve ever seen. Thankfully the end soon comes, as Robbins throws his cane into the ring (good job stopping that Tommy Cairo!) and Stetson intercepts it and crowns a Destroyer for the title

Jimmy Snuka & Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith & Max Thrasher

The formatting of this show continues to suck, as they book two tag matches back to back. There’s bits of this that are good: Gilbert continues to impress and has some nice offence, and I dug this cool reverse slam Smith did. The rest is pretty meh, with Thrasher’s sole contribution being to tag in, eat a Gilbert backbreaker and a Superfly splash for the loss.

Sal Bellomo vs The Canadian Wolfman

Wolfman is just an obese bald man with regrettable tattoos in jeans. He’s utterly terrible, starting the match by just looking at Bellomo, who just wanders up and punches him. He also can even take a snapmere bump, which is unfortunate as Bellomo seems to want to use quite a few. Bellomo splash finishes this quickly.

Jonathan Hotbody vs Tommy Cairo

This is a lumberjack match, and is probably match of the show. I liked Hotbody’s continued attempts to cower away from Cairo, despite the match stipulation, and especially how his partner Chris Candido was complicit in that, trying to provide him shelter outside the ring. There’s a nice bump when Hotbody throws Cairo to the floor and the Cairo/Robbins story from the start of the episode is paid off when it’s a Robbins cane shot that provides the knockout blow to put Cairo out. Call this a mild win.

The Sandman & Miss Peaches vs Rockin' Rebel & Tigra
This doesn't even get a finish. The main story is that Tigra wont tag in, forcing Rebel to wrestle all the match. This means he has to take Sandman's terrible looking offence. Honestly, becoming drunken hardcore Sandman gave him a career, because surfer Sandman is just a mess of sloppy looking spots and weak offence - his grazing dropkick here being a case in point. Rebel does take a big bump over the top to the floor to become the worker of the match. Tigra and Peaches finally get in...and the show ends just as they hook up. Excellent work lads.

ECW Hardcore TV #5 04/05/193

Eddie Gilbert & Don Muraco vs JT Smith & Glen Osbourne

Gilbert really feels like a breath of fresh air in these shows, as his execution is far crisper and his movement far better than anyone else in the promotion. Liked a few bits from Muraco here, his slingshot of Smith that sends Smith throat-first into the bottom rope is pretty good. Hotstuff International target Smith’s head and throat, with a neckbreaker and a loaded thumb to the throat from Muraco. Osbourne is tagged in to no reaction, and hits an admittedly sweet tombstone to Gilbert, but a debuting Paul E Dangerously clubs him with his phone and Gilbert picks up the pin. This wasn’t too bad.

Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

The more I watch of Stetson and Winters, the more pronounced the gulf in ability becomes. Winters looks pretty poor here, stumbling over when trying to hiptoss a Destroyer, whereas Stetson has some nice touches. Dug the thrust headbutt to the Destroyer’s arm to continue his team’s basic armwork, and he gets nice height on a flying forearm. The Destroyers work a dull heat segment on Winters, including some truly terrible chokes, where the Destroyer waggles his elbow about in an unconvincing attempt to make it look like he’s adding more pressure. Stetson is tagged in, but gets caught with a loaded punch when trying a back suplex, giving the Destroyers the pin.

The Sandman vs Sal Bellomo

This was terrible. Bellomo is a terrible offensive wrestler, all chokes and wimpy looking stomps. Sandman here has an odd habit of trying roll ups that only manage to send Bellomo into the ropes. Bellomo locks in a terrible submission, where I honestly thought he was trying a sloppy pinfall. Sandman only looks mildly inconvenienced. The end is a special type of dreadful, as Sandman clotheslines Bellomo from the ring, and Sal decides to wander about talking to the crowd and gets counted out. An absolutely abysmal match.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Ernesto Benefico

Very quick squash. Liked the cockiness of Rebel taking Benefico’s legs out and casually slapping his face. Big elbow drop, powerslam and a spinebuster wins it for the Rebel

Johnny Hotbody vs Tommy Cairo

This is billed as a grudge match, so of course they give it less than 5 minutes. Hotbody looks really good in places here, and then absolutely shocking. Loved how he stumbled into Cairo armdrags, made it look really natural as if he was being caught unawares. He also hits a lovely diving elbow from the ring apron to the floor. But then, there’s his superplex. Honestly, it takes so long to get into place that it feels almost inevitable that Cairo will reverse it. They go for the move and it looks like Cairo has reversed to a top rope spinebuster, but no! The commentary, and Cairo’s selling, tells us that Hotbody did indeed hit his superplex. Absolutely dreadful. Cairo rolls up Hotbody, ramming his head into an interfering Chris Candido, and gets the win.

ECW Hardcore TV #4 27/04/1993

The Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

The Super Destroyers are supposed to be the monster heels of the tag division, so seeing them selling for the weak offence of the face team is really off-putting. Lots of hiptosses and armdrags to seemingly send these big lads all over the place. We get a bit of heat on Stetson, but his hot tag out sees no reaction from the crowd. Winters hits a nice kneelift and locks in a figure four, but the other Destroyer brings in a cane from manager Hunter Q Robbins III, and we get a DQ. Bad start

The Suicide Blondes vs JT Smith & Tommy Cairo

The Blondes are Johnny Hotbody and Chris Candido. Cairo is a really frustrating character to watch – he can hit some really nice offence, like the swank back suplex he hits in this match, but he seems mentally unable to put together a good match. Here, he does dumb stuff like hold a headlock on Hotbody whilst watching Candido come over and just punch him in the face. He also hits really odd looking armdrags. Loved the diving elbow from the apron to the concrete by Hotbody, looked like a rough landing. Candido was also great here, and the Blondes stooged nicely for some of Cairo’s power offence. The end sees Smith hit a moonsault on Candido, but Hotbody comes off the top rope to the back of Smith’s head to give Candido the easy pin. Not terrible.

Jimmy Snuka & Don Muraco vs The Hellriders

Third tag bout in a row. Muraco wasn’t in great shape here, looked pretty old and fat. Nothingabout this match felt competitive, no sense of struggle from any combatant. Muraco seems to stumble on a discus clothesline attempt, and when he misses a corner charge to allow the tag for the Hellriders, he doesn’t bother with any selling. Muraco hits a tombstone and elevates Snuka onto a Hellrider for the win. Pretty lame.

The Sandman vs Rockin’ Rebel

The only single bout on the show, the only match with back story and a bout for the ECW title…is the only match joined in progress. So stupid. Rebel dominates with some really good clotheslines, including one which belted Sandman in the chin. Sandman takes over with some knees in the corner and a shit facebuster, before Rebel’s manager Tigra gets involved to draw the DQ. Unbelievable waste of time.

ECW Hardcore TV #3 20/04/1993

The Super Destroyers vs The Wolfman & Super Ninja

Really basic squash here. Wolfman, despite the name, is just a fat guy in jeans. One Destroyer does hit a nice enzuigiri, but then barely gets Wolfman up for a slam. Super Ninja doesn’t fare much better and gets pinned following a senton. Nothing to this.

Jimmy Snuka vs Tommy Cairo

This isn’t much better. Short match with Cairo working a headlock for a long time to start. Not in the fun way, where Mike Quackenbush can work five minutes of schtick around frustrating his opponent with a headlock, just Cairo holding a headlock for a long time. Cairo barely stays down for a piledriver, before a ref bump sees Johnny Hotbody interfere, laying out Cairo with a weapon to allow the Superfly splash to win.

Eddie Gilbert vs Glenn Osbourne

Gilbert decides to go for smoke and mirrors to make this bout work. Lots of fighting outside the ring to start, making it hilarious to hear ECW commentators bemoaning the use of a table as “not wrestling”. Gilbert is clearly holding Osbourne’s hand through this to make it interesting. Osbourne works a weak comeback, with a milky clothesline, before Gilbert pins him after a brass-knucks blow. Commentator Jay Sulli informs the referee however, and the ref reverses the decision after finding them in Gilbert’s tights. This leads to Snuka vs Osbourne for the TV title tonight, as if we need another Osbourne bout.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Frank Cody

Squash, after Rebel flies into a rage when Sandman’s valet Peaches gives him a slap instead of a kiss. Barely 30 seconds, though I liked Rebel’s match-winning spinebuster.

Glenn Osbourne vs Jimmy Snuka

Yeah, this really isn’t great. Osbourne can barely hit a hiptoss on Snuka. There’s a terrible ref bump, as Snuka has to guide Osbourne round to get into position to be pushed into the ref, and Gilbert returns to break up a pin, leaving Osbourne prone to the Superfly splash to win the ECW TV title for Snuka. Really poor.

ECW Hardcore TV #1 06/04/1993

Given that I love undertaking watching projects that I don't keep up with very quickly, I thought I'd start watching the ECW footage on the WWE Network. Never been a big ECW fan, so didn't know where a good starting point would be - why not the beginning? Why not start with a show where commentator Terry Funk essentially says "We know this isn't very good, but we'll try and get better" to close the show out?

The Super Destroyers vs The Hell Raisers

The Destroyers are the ECW tag champs, two big guys in masks. The Hell Raisers aren’t as fearsome as their name might suggest, as they get squashed here, despite jumping the Destroyers to start. This is some slow, low-impact brawling which the Destroyers win with a flip senton on EZ Ryder.

Tommy Cairo vs Salvatore Bellomo

This is part of the TV title tournament. Two matches in, and the early ECW isn’t feeling like an exciting hot product. Giving a featured role to long-time WWF jobber Bellomo isn’t necessarily a bad thing if he was able to bring something to the table to mark him as underrated, but he’s very uninteresting here. Sal isn’t afraid of a rest hold, put it that way. Cairo makes a comeback out of the blue with no build, before Johnny Hotbody tries to interfere. This backfires and Sal is counted out. Very not good.

Tony Stetson vs the Rockin’ Rebel

This is better match, and it’s amusing to see my favourite guilty pleasure CZW wrestler the Rebel here with long mullet and actual wrestling tights. He’s the #1 contender to the ECW title, which feels so wrong. Stetson is nicknamed “Hitman”, which feels pretty misplaced given the best wrestler on US soil at the time also used that nickname. Probably best not to share a nickname with one of the biggest stars in the business, you’ll only suffer in comparison. Rebel’s control is very basic, albeit with nothing wrong with it per se. Just not very exciting. I actually dug Stetson’s comeback, enjoyed his top rope legdrop. Rebel takes Stetson down in the corner and pins him with his feet on the ropes.

Jimmy Snuka vs Larry Winters

Snuka is working heel here, with Eddie Gilbert his cheapshotting manager. Snuka looks muscular, but isn’t in great shape ringwise, as proven by his falling over whilst giving a back bodydrop. Winters seems pretty dreadful, taking an over-the-top leap in the air from a Snuka chop and hitting a crossbody where his feet barely leave the floor. Another quick bout, with Gilbert tripping Winters from the floor, and Snuka nailing the Superfly splash. Real nice impact too, best thing about the match.

Salvatore Bellomo vs Ernesto Benefico

Oh great, another Bellomo match. Benefico isn’t announced, as Bellomo just barges in and slams him for the three count. Just a simple powerslam. Poor Ernesto.

CZW Cage of Death IV (2002)

As stated before, I was a massive CZW a decade ago. While the likes of Bryan Danielson, Low Ki and Samoa Joe were the big indy stars of the day, the Messiah, Trent Acid and Adam Flash were amongst my favourite wrestlers. Pretty much every EWR game I played at the time would feature the Messiah as world champ, with the Backseat Boys as tag champs. Of course, I'm pretty aware now that I wasn't really with the majority on this, so it's going to be interesting to see how this 11 year old show has aged.

Before we get to the opening match, which is the titular Cage of Death match between John Zandig and Lobo, we get a hilarious video where Zandig gets massacred by Lobo and his cronies. They kidnap him in a lorry, hurl him through barbed wire boards and even hang him from hooks through his skin. Lovely. This apparently means Zandig wont be making it to the match, but unsurprisingly, he still comes to the ring, wearing the same bloody rags he got beaten up in a few hours earlier.

Zandig Vs Lobo
We excitingly start off with a load of promos where fun stuff like legality of contracts and double-double crosses take place. To cut a long story short, Lobo has to face Zandig in the cage for the ownership of CZW, with the winner being decided by grabbing a contract hanging from the ceiling. Despite being a bloody mess who we saw getting killed earlier, Zandig totally dominates, with Lobo thrown into the electrified cage within a minute. I do quite like a Falcon Arrow onto a cactus by Zandig. Lobo finally gets a period of offence, but soon Zandig fires back and powerbombs Lobo into a table and drops another plant on him. Zandig sets up a table and a plane of glass over it before both decide to climb to the top of the cage to grab the contract. I was about to sarcastically comment how obvious it was that one of them would get thrown from the top through this table, but FUCKING HELL!! Lobo hits a death valley driver from the top of the cage through two tables OUTSIDE the ring. Absolutely mental. Though the impact of this is kinda ruined as they're back on their feet brawling again within a minute. Zandig puts Lobo on a table outside the ring, then drops an elbow on him from the top of the cage. No attempt to grab the contract. They both climb the cage, and Zandig press slams Lobo from the top through the glass table from earlier before grabbing the contract to win. Absolutely no attempt to tell a coherent story, and some of the brawling was a bit weak, but when they hit the big spots, they really went for it.

Rockin' Rebel, Greg Matthews, "Doomsday" Danny Rose, Chris Cash & GQ vs Chris Stylz, Ian Knoxx, Derek Frazier, Jon Dahmer & Adam Flash
Wrestlers in this match I was convinced 10 years ago would go on to become big stars: Knoxx and Matthews. I was an idiot. This is an elimination match, so expect this to be a bit of a clusterfuck. A few early dives are pretty fun, especially Flash diving onto everyone into the aisleway. Some of the early exchanges with Frazier taking on Cash, Rebel and Matthews are pretty fun, before Matthews pins Frazier with a Snow Plow. Rebel takes out Stylz with a fireball to the eyes and a huge legdrop to make it 5 on 3. Flash takes Matthews out with a top rope facebuster to help the numbers. Flash falls victim to the numbers game as Rose and Rebel team up to eliminate him, with a Rose death valley driver followed by a Rebel legdrop for the pin. Flash decides he's not leaving yet and levels Rebel with a chairshot whilst Dahmer comes in and nails Rose with a lariat allowing Dahmer to pin both men simultaneously. Weak section. Knoxx looks really good here, and it's a shame injuries caught up with him to the extent they did. GQ manages to maintain his one-botch-per-match average by missing a top rope stomp to Dahmer's head. Things break down and Dahmer hits GQ with the Move of 1000 Maniacs to eliminate him. Despite being down 2-to-1, Cash manages to eliminate his two larger opponents, hitting a top rope Cash Flo on Knoxx and a facebuster on Dahmer to be the sole survivor. CZW were clearly looking to give Cash a big push, and he looked really impressive here.

Z-Barr vs Rick Feinberg & the Hurricane Kid
Feinberg was CZW's very subtle parody of the RoH owner Rob Feinstein, a flamboyant camp character, whose ring music was Abba's "Dancing Queen". The commentary seems to suggest that this match is the result of a romantic interlude in a truck between Feinberg and Barr. Obviously. Feinberg and Kid dominate to start, but essentially they're comedy jobbers and Barr soon takes over. Decent tope by Barr takes both down. Feinberg kisses Barr midring, so Barr destroys him with some weak offence. Everything here is slow and telegraphed as the crowd starts to turn on the match. Barr dominates a bit more, before pinning Feinberg with the Donkey Punch. Not very good.

Nick Berk vs Josh Prohibition
This is a submission match. I like both guys, with some reservations, so this should be decent. They trade a few holds, before Prohibition ups the tempo with a suicide dive. The commentators talk up a previous Berk neck injury as Prohibition locks on an Indian deathock. Prohibition keeps on the neck, both with holds and impact offence. Berk hooks on a nice reverse cattle mutilation. A seated guillotine by JP keeps the offence focused on Berk's neck. In an odd spot, Prohibtion hits the Straight Edge and goes for a futile pin. This gives Berk time to recover and lock on a Scorpion. Prohibition nails Berk with brass knucks and locks in a surfboard half-nelson called the Path of Resistance, but Ian Knoxx comes out to distract him, based on a "boozing vs teetotal" feud. This gives Berk time to fire back with a powerbomb, and lock in a Texas2K2 Cloverleaf for the tap. Prohibition really carried this match, as his offence was focused on one body part and made sense due to Berk's known injury. In contrast, Berk just locked on some submission holds without bodypart focus. This was ok, but should've been better.

M-Dogg 20 vs Sonjay Dutt vs Ruckus
The winner of this match becomes the no.1 contender to Trent Acid's CZW Jr Heavyweight title. If this is anything but a spotfest, I'll be shocked. Some of M-Dogg's early stuff looks a bit sloppy, though in fairness they run through a series of reversals that looks super-slick before throwing Dutt from the ring. M-Dogg nails the first bit of offence that actually looks hurty by catching Dutt in midair and ramming him into the turnbuckles. Dogg also hits an awesome highspot, by diving onto his two opponents outside the ring with a huge number of twists. A subsequent Dutt dive is both less impressive and manages to barely hit his opponents. Dogg gets the next swank highspot by getting elevated up a pillar, climbing further up then diving 12ft onto his opponents. A slightly clumsy Tower of Doom spot doesn't come off as well as you suspect they'd intended. M-Dogg tries an overly complicated double DDT that looks like shit. Chris Cash comes out to interfere, but gets beaten up by all 3 competitors, thus totally taking the shine off his big win from earlier. They spend about 3 minutes destroying Cash before getting back to the match. Dutt picks up the win by reversing another overly complex M-Dogg move into a pin and grabbing the tights to win. Frustrating match, which was really fun in places, then boneheadedly awful in others.

The H8 Club vs Chris Hero & B-Boy
Hero cuts a pre-match promo, declaring himself IWA-MS through and through. Man, I forgot how intimidating the H8 Club looked. Hero does a great job schticking it up in fear of Nate Hatred. I always liked Hatred, he always came across as a dominant beast and wrestled like a monster should. The H8 Club pretty much beat the shit out of Hero to start. It takes B-Boy coming in and dropkicking Hatred's leg to give them an advantage. This doesn't last long as Hatred takes his head off with a clothesline. B-Boy finally gets a prolonged period of offence after hitting a twisting neckbreaker on Nick Gage. Hero's cravate-plex on Gage is pretty choice. B-Boy is pretty stiff on offence, and Gage seems happy to take it, so this period of offence is plenty fun, before Gage nails a brainbuster on B-Boy. Hatred just kills guys on the hot tag, blitzing Hero with chairshots. They pancake Hero on a flat table on the floor, which absolutely has to suck. B-Boy gets a very close two after a Shining Wizard on Gage. Decapitator by Hatred turns B-Boy inside out and gets the win. After the match, the H8 Club continue to kill Hero whilst B-Boy leaves him to die. Quite fun, they certainly presented B-Boy as the stronger link of the team here, and it's always enjoyable watching the H8 Club kills guys.

The Backseat Boys vs Ric Blade & "Sick" Nick Mondo
We open with a lengthy sequence of reversals that almost feels like a dance routine, before the face team of Mondo and Blade hit stereo dives on the Backseats. Weaponry is swiftly brought into the ring and a ladder is balanced over two chairs, which Acid puts Blade through with a Blue Thunder Driver. Trent goes to hit a tornado DDT on Mondo onto a ladder, but Mondo reverses into a Northern Lights suplex onto the same ladder. The Backseats remain one step ahead, playing up their tag team familiarity, hurling Blade into another ladder in the corner. They split up, Kashmere and Blade fighting in the crowd as Acid and Mondo stay in the ring. Apparently this is Blade's first match back in 18 months, so obviously putting him into a TLC match makes perfect sense. He's also the worst wrestler in the match, all milky strikes and average flips. Everyone else at least looks like they're hurting their opponents. Splitting up has hurt the Backseats, as both faces take control and they reunite to set up the Backseats on tables next to the balcony, with a ladder drapped over both of them. Blade and Mondo then hit stereo moonsaults on the ladder/Backseats/table sandwich. Unsurprisingly, the faces look in worse shape after that. Back in the ring, they've learnt nothing, hitting dives from the top rope onto another ladder sandwiching the Backseats and AGAIN hurting themselves. Blade hits a legdrop from the top of what must be a 15ft high ladder onto Kashmere, which only gets two. Trent Acid has recovered in this time and takes Blade out, giving the Backseats time to double team Mondo, then both diving through a Ric Blade-covered table. Kashmere puts a ladder round his neck, Terry Funk style, but Mondo stomps on the ladder in a nasty looking bump. The match ends with Mondo getting thrown through a ringside table and the Backseats sandwich Blade in a ladder to win. Spotty as all Hell, but ridiculously entertaining, and the story of the Backseats dominating in a team environment, but suffering when separated, made total sense. The faces were too daredevil to survive, taking bumps even when on offence, and the Backseats were able to hold out longer.

Justice Pain vs the Messiah
Both hold gold here, with Messiah holding the Iron Man title whilst competing for Pain's world title. This is apparently under Iron Man rules, which essentially means anything goes. Messiah is one step ahead of Pain in the opening minutes, until Pain suplexes him into the turnbuckles. I like Pain catching Messiah mid-leapfrog and slamming him down. Messiah is able to come back with a killer tornado DDT. They end up outside the ring, and the logic of booking another hardcore brawl right after the tag TLC is pretty odd. Messiah goes for a cannonball off the apron, but misses and lands on a non-breaking table. Swanky neck-snap on the floor by Pain. Blockbuster gets two in the ring, and Pain is looking pretty good here. His movement and execution is great. He also takes a killer bump as he flies into the guardrail off an Irish whip. They blow a Pain dropkick into a chair, so Pain levels Messiah with a chairshot for two. Insane bump as Pain stands on the apron and Messiah throws himself at him, sending both men onto a pile of chairs on the floor. Nick Gage comes in for a totally pointless run-in, nailing both guys with big moves, though he does helpfully pour a bag of thumbtacks on the canvas. Messiah hits a cutter on Pain onto the tacks for two. The Fall From Grace (running burning hammer) onto the tacks only gets two. Pain gets the Pain Thriller (barely on the tacks) for two. A top rope superplex by Messiah onto the tacks gets a more direct hit, but only gets two. After all that, the Messiah is finally able to pick up the win...with a crucifix. Well, I suppose he's the right man to have perfected that move. Decent main event fight, this is probably the best I've seen Pain look.

3PW A Night For The Flyboy

Readers of this blog will notice that I'm generally quite positive about pro-wrestling, and am more likely to give a good review than a bad. The reason for this is simple: I love wrestling, to the extent that even stuff that isn't great per se will still have some merit to me. With this in mind, it's very rare I'm hyper critical of a show, but last October's review of 3PW's Three Men & A Bodybag show was one of those times, just a meandering mess of bad wrestling, terrible booking and nonsensical turns. However, my Lovefilm account means that I don't really have to pay for these shows, and I'm going to continue to watch them in the belief that some gold might shine out amongst the shit. This show, a tribute to Ted "Rocco Rock" Petty, has Syxx-Pac vs Ron Killings AND Curt Hennig vs Jerry Lawler, so there must be something good here....right?

Josh Daniels vs Joey Matthews
Matthews heels it up to start, stalling and slapping Daniels in the face. Daniels is a bit lacking in charisma, and is a bit of a Benoit clone. They blow a leapfrog out of the corner, which even on a tribute show earns a "You fucked up" chant. Really lovely top rope clothesline by Matthews. Daniels misses a corner charge, hitting his shoulder in the corner, but is back on offence seconds later, hitting a delayed vertical suplex on Matthews with no notice paid to his arm. Daniels doesn't bother selling the shoulder at all, and seems to be trying to cut off all Matthews' offensive flurries. The match ends with Matthews hitting a reverse DDT following a missed top rope legdrop by Daniels

Rob Eckos vs White Lotus
Eckos is the future Robbie E, whilst Lotus is a balding white guy who claims to be Japanese. Some early comedy sees Eckos trucks pulled down, with a white dildo in his backside. Lovely. Neither guy has convincing looking offence, but Eckos shows some character and moves around the ring nicely. Decent hiptoss into a DDT by Eckos. Conversely, Lotus does a chain of three rolling suplexes but goes from most impressive to least, starting with a T-bone and ending with a normal vertical suplex, not understanding the idea of escalating the impressiveness of the moves. Eckos wins a quick match with a handful of ropes. Neither guy looked great, but if you were asked which one would have a role in a national promotion 10 years later, you'd have correctly picked Eckos from this bout.

Jason vs Del Tsunami
Jason looks in good nick here. Jason pretty much dominates, hitting a few nice suplexes. Tsunami gets very little in terms of offence in, but sells well enough, before Jason finishes with a submission, gravevining the legs with his arms whilst holding Tsunami's body in a leg scissors. Decent enough squash.

Roadkill vs Christian York
York looks a lot less pumped than in his TNA run, very much in part-time wrestler shape. The opening parts to the match are perfectly fine, and I loved Roadkill hitting a dropkick during a York skin-the-cat attempt to send him to the floor. They try some brawling outside the ring, which would look better if York wasn't so unconvincing at it. He looks a lot less slick than he does 10 years later, manging to botch throwing Roadkill out of the ring. His offence just looks a bit soft, which is disappointing, as I remember quite enjoying him in ECW. A few chinlocks throughout the match dont help to build excitement either. Roadkill has looked perfectly fine here, bar one moment where he's getting beaten by York in the corner and casually positions himself on the second rope for no reason other than for York to hit a rana. Roadkill at least comes back with some energy to liven things up. Throughout the match, the commentators have highlighted that Danny Doring isn't in the building whilst Joey Matthews is, so you know that we'll be seeing some interference, and low and behold, Matthews soon comes out. He's soon removed by Roadkill, but we get a blown finish where York superkicks a chair into Roadkill's face for 2, but the bell rings. Roadkill takes it upon himself to save matters by powerbombing Matthews onto York, then nailing a top rope splash for the win. This was inoffensive.

Ron Killings vs Syxx-Pac
Some stalling from current NWA champion Killings starts us off, as he decides to give the crowd a piece of his mind. This isn't too long after Syxx-Pac left the WWE and he looks sharp. I'm convinced fired-up face Waltman is his best incarnation, certainly more endearing than his DX persona. I loved Killings keeping up his war with the crowd, jawing at them whilst choking Pac over the ropes. A nice bump follows, as Killings hiptosses Syxx-Pac over the top rope to the floor. Killings cuts off a comeback as he catches Pac with a dropkick leaping from the top rope but misses a rare 450 as neither man can get a real advantage. This is a pretty short sprint of a match, so the back and forth nature feels fine here. I did fear a shitty ending after Pac hits an X-Factor, as he lies covering Killings, waiting for a count like moron despite having seen Sabu pull the ref from the ring. Luckily, he moves when Sabu tries an Arabian facebuster from the top rope, having set it up so that Killings gets hit, which means the spot makes sense. Syxx-Pac removes Sabu, and picks up an academic 3 count. I enjoyed this a lot, both guys looked really crisp.

The Blue Meanie & Jasmin St Claire vs The Rockin' Rebel & Missy Hyatt
When you've got a tag match and Rebel is the best guy in there, you're in for a painful ordeal. Watching this atrocity, I'm not convinced Jasmin isn't second best. You can clearly see Meanie guiding her through everything, but her offence on the Rebel still manages to look more convincing than that of her partner. Poor Rebel gets double teamed in the early going, as Hyatt just stands on the apron. Rebel is one of those guys you know is a bit shit, but for some reason, I've got a soft spot for the guy, possibly because he'll happily let himself look like a berk in a throwaway comedy match like this. Here, he takes all the token comedy spots - a headbutt to the crotch from a dazed Meanie, then falling into the doggystyle position with Hyatt after they get splashed in the corner (which Missy initially manages to blow by falling out of the corner too early). This match even ends like a crock of shit, Meanie shoving Rebel over a crouching Jasmin, who rolls him up for the win, despite Rebel's foot being clearly in the ropes. Just utter shite. Postmatch, we get an angle, as Tod Gordon turns up with some massive bloke who chokeslams Meanie, allowing Jasmin to turn on him. Aside from the fact that the company owners still have to get their win in before the turn, the angle feels out-of-place on a tribute show.

Curt Hennig vs Jerry Lawler
This should be fun. We get off to a good start as both guys try to one up each other, trading slams before Hennig hits a backdrop and Lawler reverses a second attempt. Neither guy manages to get a clear avantage. Hennig takes a trademark bump as he's punched over the top rope onto table. Lawler plays face here, which is odd given his anti-ECW past. Hennig concentrates on wearing down Lawler, locking in a sleeper then stomping away at him. Lawler comes back with a stunner for two, complete with double middle fingers. Hennig retaliates with a piledriver, but only gets two with a cocky pin. Neither guy is doing anything special, but the execution is noticably better than previous matches on the show. A Lawler second rope fistdrop only gets 2, before Hennig wins in the corner with his feet on the ropes. Breaking all wrestling conventions, without any proof as to the cheating the ref restarts the match. Hennig rightly decks ref, only for Lawler to roll him up, winning with a quick count from the ref. Despite the rubbish ending, this was plenty of fun. Maybe not great, as they never really left first gear, but proof that you can do more with less.

Sabu vs Gary Wolfe
Wolfe gets beaten down pre-match by Tod Gordon and his massive henchman, apparently called Annihilation. Despite this, Wolfe dominates early, though is well out of position for Sabu's rebound clothesline. They brawl outside, with Wolfe throwing some pissweak forearms. More weak brawling follows, before Sabu livens things up with a triple jump dive into the crowd. They wander around the arena a bit more, where Wolfe DDT's Sabu through a table on the stage. We get more tedious wander-wander-punch-wander fighting, before they get back to the ring. Wolfe rolls Sabu into the ring, then immediately throws him back out again, as he's clearly got no ideas on what to do in the match. Gordon and co hits some crap cheap shots outside the ring, which Wolfe totally no-sells. Sabu hits the triple jump moonsault for two. A second attempt is met with a chair, before Wolfe powerbombs Sabu through a table to the floor. This obvious finisher gets two. Inside, a burning hammer also gets two, and this match is really dragging. Having killed two finishers, they try to fill up time with bland offence that exists only to drag this match to "epic", but it's failing miserably. Worst DDT ever is hit by Sabu. It's totally fair to say that a ten-years older Sabu had better matches with Wild Boar and Jimmy Havoc in the UK last month than this, and it's all because those matches, whilst different, had actual structure to them. This is just overlong, drawn out nonsense. Eventually, Sabu sets up Wolfe on a table, which promptly falls over. Bonus points go to the commentators for covering this up by claiming Wolfe saved himself. Bonus points lost by following a trademark Arabian facebuster through the table by saying they'd never seen that before from Sabu. Started badly, and kept on (and on and on...) getting worse.

3PW Three Men & A Bodybag

So, it turns out Lovefilm have a whole plethora of 3PW DVD's available for rent. I never saw any 3PW shows whilst they were a going concern, but I remember reading about their shows when they were one of the bigger Philadelphia indies alongside CZW. Because I will watch almost any wrestling, I decided to give a 3PW show a go. It's not pretty...

Christian York & Joey Matthew vs Dylan Knight & Rapid Fire Maldonado
York and Matthews stall at the start to establish they're heels. Knight looks like a portly version of the singer from My Chemical Romance in binbag trousers, so he needs all the help he can get to win the fans over. An early nice spot sees York thrown outside, before the faces avoid a Matthews charge, which sendshim through the ropes, hitting a tope onto York. York and Matthews are clearly a level ahead of opponents in both work and character, though there is a really awful spot where events lead to York giving his own partner a tombstone, a spot so contrived that it draws boos. I do dig York's range of cocky covers. York and Matthews pick up the win after Matthews grabs Knight's leg as he tried to suplex York into the ring from the apron. Not a good opener.

Robert Pigeon vs John "The Tank" Toland
You may recall Toland as one of the Dicks in the WWE. He's in way better shape than Mr Pigeon here, who looks pale and gaunt in comparison. They start with a series of armdrags, which earns a boring chant. They then work a full-nelson reversal sequence that I alone enjoy. They pick up the pace, with Toland impressively catching Pigeon in midair on a crossbody and chucking him with fallaway salm. As the match goes on, the same boorish pocket of fans continue their "boring" chant, which isn't fair as it's a perfectly decent match. Toland shows off his agility by landing on his feet on a hiptoss attempt. However, Toland misses a moonsault, and Pigeon hits an implant DDT for 3. Perfectly acceptable match with a pocket of dickheads making it less enjoyable to watch.

Chris Hero vs Colt Cabana
Fans don't seem to like Colt much. A series of armbars and counters is a bit better received than in the last match, probably because it's a fair bit better. Hero does his best to heat up the lukewarm crowd with a plancha to the floor. Sitout Soylent Green gets two for Hero. Colt fakes a top rope dive to the floor to taunt the crowd in a funny spot. You can see moments where the match is starting to click into place as it progresses, as if they were initially thrown by the negative crowd. They seem to have won them over at one point until Hero botches a roll-up and the idiots strike up again. In fact, the frustrating thing is how disjointed this match feels, as you get moments of nice, fluid action before things just seem to sputter out. Even the ending is abrupt, with Cabana winning with a top rope moonsault, earning a 3 count that seemed to come too early. Very disappointing

Gary Wolfe vs the Rockin' Rebel
Christ, this isn't the pairing to get match quality up. We've got ourselves a dog-collar match here, though Rebel is wearing some plaid as he thought it was a lumberjack match. Wolfe attacks the Rebel to put the collar on him after RR initially refuses. Rebel tries to leave, obviously forgetting about the collar round his neck, so Wolfe dominates him outside the ring. Wolfe sets up a chair for a Raven-esque droptoehold, but Rebel manages to miss it somehow, going face first to the mat. The odd thing is, this is actually kinda fun. Clearly both guys know their limitations so just go for some old fashioned brawling. However, the match ends pretty abruptly. Rebel goes to splash Wolfe through a table, only for Rapid Fire Malondado to interfere on Wolfe's behalf for reasons unknown. Wolfe then tries twice to put Rebel through a table twice, failing to break it both times before covering for the win. Despite the random interference, this is (gulp) match of the night so far, if only by default.

Billy Wiles vs the Blue Meanie
Bloody Hell! One fan in the crowd HATES Billy Wiles and spends almost all match yelling about how fat he is. They work two comedy criss-cross spots before Meanie hits the milkiest punches in the corner I've ever seen. I actually thought they were comedy punches, but no, they were just shit. Billy making sexy eyes at Jasmin St Claire at ringside might be the most entertaining thing about this match. Seriously, Meanie seems to pause before every move as if he's trying to remember how to do it. The ending (which can't come soon enough) sees Jasmin leap on the apron as Wiles takes control. Wiles drags her into the ring, then uses her as a shield as he sees Meanie recover. However, Jasmin lowblows him and stunners him right in front of the ref before Meanie hits a moonsault to win. Just garbage.

Jasmin St Claire vs Candi
This is billed on the DVD as a separate match, in fact as an evening gown match. What actually happens is Candi runs in straight after the Wiles/Meanie match to attack Jasmin (which is odd, as she was a valet for the face team in the opener). Meanie grabs her and rips her dress off (what a face!) and then Dylan Knight comes in to attack Meanie and strip Jasmin. I can feel myself getting dumber just watching this.

Public Enemy vs Christian York & Joey Matthews
Seemingly, Y&M's punishment for being the best workers on the card is that they have to pull double duty tonight. No other explanation is given. They're so brilliantly obnoxious here that you really want to see them get beaten. York in particular is especially douchey here. Fair dues to the PE here, as they seem to be trying their best to keep up with Y&M, with Rock especially putting forth a good effort. Plus, there is something purely enjoyable about watching two obnoxious jerks mocking their opponents, only to get driven to the ground by an enormous Johnny Grunge. Y&M run away, but get dragged back to ringside by a random huge man and an arena-wide brawl ensues. To be honest, I find these kind of walk-your-opponent-to-the-next-spot brawl interminably dull, but compared to the matches beforehand, it's almost refreshing, and watching big Grunge put York through a table with an elbow from a balcony...I even cheered a little. Also, because Rock is willing to bump for a lot of Y&M offence, you get the dynamic of the big veterans beating the tar out of the cocky young punks without the risk of Y&M looking bad. Back in the ring, Y&M get a bit more offence, before the PE nail the South Philly Drive-By for the win. Was this great? No. Good? Nearly. Did I enjoy it? Yes

The Sandman vs New Jack vs Sabu
This is a bodybag match with Tod Gordon as special guest referee. The match opens with New Jack attacking his opponents with staplers and forks. Then Sandman and Sabu attack each other and New Jack with staplers and forks. Great. It isn't until Sandman droptoeholds Sabu into a ladder that something interesting happens. He then suplexes Sabu onto the ladder, but New Jack comes back with that fucking stapler. Honestly, the two things I find most boring in hardcore matches is stapler spots and "grinding-a-weapon-into-a-forehead" spots and this has them in abundance. Literally 80% of New Jack's offence is stapler-related, though I do laugh when he suplexes the Sandman and proudly announces "I know a wrestling move". Jack ties Sandman to the top rope by his neck before....bringing out the fucking stapler again. It's like a bad joke at this point. Sabu puts Jack down with a chair and a chair-legdrop before putting him in a bodybag to eliminate him....at least until Jack cuts himself free with a massive blade and gets right back into the match. Sigh. Sabu knocks New Jack out with his stapler (oh cruel hand of irony) and now Jack is gone for good. Bill Alfonso comes to the ring and turns on Sabu by throwing a chair at his head. However, Gordon then gets a cane and starts wailing away on Sandman. Gordon then beats up Alfonso and my brain feels like it's dying. Sabu puts Sandman through a table...and Gordon ushers him to the back. No bodybag, nothing. What a total whack of shit.

Officially the worst show I've review for the blog. A crowning achievement for 3PW

CZW Uncivilized 2003

Back in 2003, I was all about CZW. It was the first indy I watched constantly and, despite it's many obvious flaws, I loved it. Many of my favourite indy names were CZW guys and I thought it'd be fun to revisit a show I think I only watched once before.

Jude vs Jon Dahmer
Teacher vs student match here, with Dahmer the head of the CZW academy and Jude but a few matches into his career. As such, it's far from special. Jude has to rely on the more experienced Dahmer to structure the match, and he doesn't do a great job. The match kinda ends up feeling like some moves done at random. That said, there are some positives: Dahmer hits a sick looking German suplex that looks like it kills Jude, and the rookie looks pretty promising here. It's a shame looking at this 8 years later as Jude has some real fire when on offence, and his snap suplex is really good. He hits a pump-handle Emerald Frosion, which gets 2 when it should be a stonewall finisher, before outside interference from fellow rookies Niles Young and Cory Kastle lead to Dahmer hitting the Move of 1000 Maniacs (Gansobomb) for 3.

Before the next match, we get some antics involving Rockin' Rebel and John Zandig to set up the main event: Rebel and Greg Matthews vs Heartbreaker (!?!) and TATANKA! What an odd match.

Adam Flash & Ian Knoxx vs Derek Frazier & Hurricane Kid vs Chris Stylz & Z-Barr
This is an elimination match, though the team of Frazier and Kid are pretty superfluous due to Kid's uber-jobber status. The team of Flash and Knoxx decimate them to start, including a nice doubleteam where Flash elevated Kid up in the air for Knoxx to lariat on the way down. Knoxx really had the look and ability to be pretty big in wrestling before injuries took him out and he looks really good throughout this match. Barr gets tagged in the match and instantly takes Frazier down with a side headlock. And then another one. Then gets on the mic and says he'll hold the headlock as long as he wants. Easy, easy heat. Frazier, who has one of the least imposing looks of any wrestler I've ever seen, actually looks pretty good on offence, nailing a crisp Dragon whip on Barr, and also bumps huge for an overhead belly to belly. The Kid gets tagged in and instantly gets caught with the Barr Driller for 3. Knoxx and Stylz, former tag partners, finally go face-to-face for the first time and it's not really as heat filled as you'd imagine as they circle for position, but their sequence in the ring is really smooth and looks really good.Stylz hits a nice Northern Light suplex for 2. Knoxx regains the advantage with a sweet looking fallaway slam from the second rope before Flash hits a top rope legdrop for the win. This got pretty good after the first elimination and would have been much better as a straight up tag. Stylz would leave CZW shortly after this, which is disappointing as both him and Knoxx looked really good here.

Tai Smiley vs GQ
Tai Smiley is wearing a yellow bodysuit with a smiley face on, and seems to be working a retard gimmick, so don't expect a mat classic. They work through an elementary wrestling exchange before GQ gets on the mic to talk some smack. He then pretends to take off Smiley's nose. The comedy is dying on it's arse, so fortunately GQ is wise enough to go on the attack, hitting Smiley with a vicious belly-to-back suplex and giving him a backbreaker on a steel chair. Annoyingly, every time the crowd are starting to get back into the match, we get some more comedy which pisses them off. A shame, because GQ looks pretty good here in what is, essentially, a squash. He locks in a killer cloverleaf-looking hold and nails a nifty DDT for the win. More wrestling, less bad comedy needed here.

Mike Mayhem Vs Livewyre vs Grim Reefer
I really thought this would suck, but actually I pretty much enjoyed this. Firstly, all the participants brought something to the dance: Reefer was pretty sloppy, but won my heart over early on by hitting two dangerous dives to the floor in the first 2 minutes. Livewyre is far bigger than the other and came to the ring making generic "I'm going to break you" gestures. He's also crucially better known as Mikey from the Spirit Squad and during the match he busted out some cool stuff, including a swank half Nelson suplex and a massive spear that nearly broke Mayhem in half. As for Mayhem, he was less flashy, but actually had a semblance of character which tied the whole thing together and he was arguably less spotty than the others. The oddest thing is seeing a future WWE tag champion, who was the smallest in his stable, get booked like a monster in CZW, but he looked really good here. Reefer wins with a walking Swanton from the middle of the ring to end an enjoyable match.

Stefan Perez vs Nick Berk
This is Perez's CZW debut and he's challenging Berk to a submissions match. Remember this, it's important. Perez takes control in the early going and tries a pinfall. The ref doesn't count, presumably reminding Perez that HE WANTED A SUBMISSION MATCH. Perez then hits the Three Amigos (with Berk actually getting up before him) which ends with a Fisherman Suplex. Still no pins allowed Stefan. Garguilo and House mock him for this, especially as he made the damn challenge. Berk applies actual submission holds to Perez, but Perez keeps making the ropes and hits a nice top rope Blockbuster. He then tries to springboard into the ring, but gets caught and put into the Texas C2K2 for the tapout win for Berk. Perez looked like a moron here and never returned to CZW.

Ric Blade vs B-Boy
Never been a big fan of Ric Blade, but I always dug B-Boy, so it'll be interesting to see who influences the match more. They start out with an exchange of strikes, which is a poor choice as Blade's strikes suck while B-Boy is pretty hard hitting, yet they act as if both guys are inflicting the same damage. We then have to take a break as it looks like Blade pulled a muscle in his leg during the opening stages. It's all made better when Blade flips into the ring, only to get suplexed into the corner by B-Boy. Blade continues to throws kicks at B-Boy so poor that I actually feel bad for B-Boy having to sell them, though it seems B-Boy is content to drop Blade on his head with a neat Dragon suplex. Johnny Kashmere comes out to distract Blade which allows B-Boy to hit a Shining Wizard into a baseball bat onto Blade for the win. Too much shitty Blade offence makes this a pass, though bonus points to B-Boy for selling the knee that crashed into the bat.

Ruckus vs Sonjay Dutt
This is a Junior Heavyweight title match. Chris Cash comes to ringside before the match starts and somehow becomes special referee. The problem with this is you know there will be some kind of screwy finish which could ruin the match. In this case, the problems arise even earlier as Cash refuses to count for either man, at which point you wonder why either man continues fighting. Cash continues in this vein, blocking Ruckus' attempt at the Razzle-Dazzle and pretending to trip into the ropes to knock both men from the top at various points and for some reason neither man assaults him. It's a shame this distracts from what is quite a fun pair of performances from Ruckus and Dutt. As far as early 00's CZW Junior Heavyweights go, both are smooth, unlikely to blow spots and, while maybe over-flippy, they've got a good chemistry which shines through amongst the poor booking. The ending is predictably disappointing- as both men fight on the top rope, Cash nails them both with a ladder to send them both through a ringside table for a double-countout. A shame.

Tatanka & Heartbreaker vs Rockin' Rebel & Greg Matthews
At the time, I was convinced that Greg Matthews had the look and the promise for a big future in wrestling. Shows how much I know. Before the match even starts, Zandig and the Wifebeater beat the tar out of Rebel & Matthews, taking all the heat away from special guest Tatanka. In the ring, they work through a basic, but decent match, as Tatanka dominates both Rebel's Army members before they take control. Nothing fancy, which is sensible due to Matthews' rookie status and Rebel's limitations. Things get less interesting when Heartbreaker eventually gets in, with one of his first moves being an overly fussy (and pointless) springboard kneedrop. He spends most of the match selling, which is probably wise because he manages to hit a shockingly bad spinebuster on Matthews. The end comes when a nameless man runs in the ring, allowing Rebel to hit Heartbreaker with a loaded fist for Matthews to cover him. The in-ring work was fine, especially the Tatanka bits, but the booking was poor. As well as pre-match, Zandig and Wifebeater beat up the Rebel's Army members as soon any time the left the ring, including several shots with weapons, which makes the losers look even worse.

The Backseat Boyz vs The H8 Club
This is for the CZW Tag titles. The story here is that new Backseats manager Dewey Donovan used to manage the H8 Club, so they should have the advantage. It doesn't show in the early stages, as Nick Gage and Nate Hatred decimate the Backseats, who bump like pinballs for the monsters, including a double 360 sell of a Hatred clothesline. A baseball bat shot to Hatred's midsection allows Acid and Kashmere to take over on Gage, which includes a double eyepoke on Gage to cause him to blindly swing for Kashmere, only to get beaten down. Gage gives the smaller wrestlers a lot of offence and bumps well enough that this all looks convincing. The BB's start to work in the Dream Sequence, only for Acid to get folded in two by a clothesline from the returning Hatred, which gives the H8 Club a chance to dominate on the floor. A Donovan distraction allows the Messiah to attack Hatred on the outside and Gage stupidly goes after Donovan, leaving his partner to eat a T-Gimmick from the Backseats, which is enough to win them the title. Really fun power vs speed match and both teams were able to play up their strengths.

The Messiah vs Sick Nick Mondo
Mondo asked for a title match earlier in the night, which Messiah granted. The early stages of the match really don't click- Mondo's strikes look off and he barely catches the Messiah on a plancha. After about 5 minutes, things suddenly click, and they work a nice little sequence of moves and reversals that includes a decent Lionsault from the Messiah. He then hits a double jump splash on Mondo through a ringside table. I always dug the Messiah, even after CZW foolishly turned him heel following his emotional title win after getting his thumb chopped off during an assault at his home. Back inside, they fight over powerbombing the other through a table, which Messiah eventually wins for two. There is one hokey spot where Messiah manages to staple Mondo's hand to his back, but the rest is good stuff, with both guys pulling out all the stops to get the win. The Messiah has control when Big Mac Smack comes to the ring and gives Mondo a bucket of thumbtacks. Mondo downs the Messiah and pours the tacks over him, before hitting a springboard legdrop for two. On the surface a stupid move, but one consistent with the Sick Nick character. An M Bison from the top (a double footed stomp) onto the tacks gets the win for Mondo. A post-match brawl ensues and it's announced that Mondo has won Messiah's Iron Man title, not the World title. A silly end to a good match