NWA-TNA PPV #1 (19/06/2002)

Impact kindly put this up on their YouTube channel for free, and it's a really interesting watch with the benefit of 16 years of hindsight. The majority of the in-ring stuff is decent, but there's a lot of time given to some right old shit - needless concert by a terrible country singer, long preview for the Miss TNA match the following week, in ring interview with two racing drivers - just unappealing stuff. There's enough good in ring stuff that I'd probably have bought the second show if I'd had access at the time, but only just.

AJ Styles, Low Ki & Jerry Lynn vs The Flying Elvises (Jimmy Yang, Jorge Estrada & Sonny Siaki)

Fun little spot fest to kick off the promotion, which also sets up the following week, where Styles, Ki and Lynn are all in the mix to win the first ever X Division title. The Elvises attack to start, but get sent out to the floor, where Lynn and Ki follow them with a pair of nice dives. Thought Estrada looked great here, made the most of his ring time with a nice springboard moonsault and a really nice running shooting star. He also lets Ki basically kick his head off. Everyone gets a few nice spots as it all breaks down, and in the melee Low Ki accidentally kicks AJ in the head with a cartwheel kick, allowing Yang to nail Yang Time for the shock win. Decent enough opener.

Teo vs Hollywood

I went into this with low expectations, as US midget matches are rarely good, and they instantly blow a tilt-a-whirl headscissors in the first move of the match. Hollywood hits a decent top rope splash for a two count, but this is sloppy stuff. Teo hits an ugly twisting swanton to win.

The Johnsons vs Psychosis & James Storm

This is pretty infamous, because of the Johnson’s terrible gimmick. Make no bones about it, the idea of wrestling penises is dreadful and nothing about the execution makes it any better, but the match itself is fine for the sub 5 minutes it runs. Of course, putting the identical Shane Twins into masks is a total waste of their main appeal, but they looks good here. Lovely butterfly suplexes by both and a big flapjack on Psychosis. Storm is totally out to impress here, hitting a nice missile dropkick and even popping a rana from nowhere near the end. Psychosis, who is the most natural talent in the match, has the least impact here, but does get a nice facebuster reversal from being powerbombed. The Johnson’s win with a shitty TKO after manager Mortimer Plumtree interferes.

Christian York & Joey Matthews vs The Dupps (Bo Dupp & Stan Dupp)

The Dupps are joined by valet Fluff Dupp. This is again extremely short, but what there was came over fine. Bo Dupp in particular seemed really good. He hits some stiff slaps on Matthews, hits a big boot and gets huge height on a splash. York nails a nice full weight senton for two, but after a clumsy tornado DDT, he gets crotched by Fluff and rolled up by Bo for the loss. This was too short, but like the previous match you got the vibe that a terrible gimmick is holding back a decent heel team.

Gauntlet for the Gold

This is a twenty man royal rumble, with the last two entrants ending up in a singles match for the NWA title. Credit to TNA, they tried to build up the younger, cheaper talent here, letting them shine. Malice makes the final two, eliminating half the field in the process. Apollo gets the iron man run in the match, whilst Justice (the baby Abyss) and Chris Harris both get good runs. Jeff Jarrett start the match, seeing off Buff Bagwell, Lash LeRoux and Norman Smiley right away. However, his elimination eventually comes at the hands of dreadful country singer Toby Keith, who makes an unwelcome cameo. Other notable entrants include Del Rios (the former Phantasio) who comes in dressed as an egregious Scott Steiner rip off, and both Konnan and Rick Steiner who both get huge pops. We eventually get down to a final pairing of Ken Shamrock and Malice, leaving us with…

Ken Shamrock vs Malice

Ricky Steamboat is the guest ref for this. Malice dominates early, looking pretty good in the process, before Shamrock reverses a chokeslam into an armbar in a nice counter. Malice makes the ropes, before Shamrock locks in the anklelock. Shamrock is pretty heelish here, dragging Malice back to the middle of the ring when he’s made the ropes, then not letting go after he makes the ropes again, forcing Steamboat to get to a count of 7 before breaking. Malice tries another chokeslam, but Shamrock reverses to a belly-to-belly suplex for the win. The whole deal was pretty fun, and the final two match-up was fine.

3PW A Night For The Flyboy

Readers of this blog will notice that I'm generally quite positive about pro-wrestling, and am more likely to give a good review than a bad. The reason for this is simple: I love wrestling, to the extent that even stuff that isn't great per se will still have some merit to me. With this in mind, it's very rare I'm hyper critical of a show, but last October's review of 3PW's Three Men & A Bodybag show was one of those times, just a meandering mess of bad wrestling, terrible booking and nonsensical turns. However, my Lovefilm account means that I don't really have to pay for these shows, and I'm going to continue to watch them in the belief that some gold might shine out amongst the shit. This show, a tribute to Ted "Rocco Rock" Petty, has Syxx-Pac vs Ron Killings AND Curt Hennig vs Jerry Lawler, so there must be something good here....right?

Josh Daniels vs Joey Matthews
Matthews heels it up to start, stalling and slapping Daniels in the face. Daniels is a bit lacking in charisma, and is a bit of a Benoit clone. They blow a leapfrog out of the corner, which even on a tribute show earns a "You fucked up" chant. Really lovely top rope clothesline by Matthews. Daniels misses a corner charge, hitting his shoulder in the corner, but is back on offence seconds later, hitting a delayed vertical suplex on Matthews with no notice paid to his arm. Daniels doesn't bother selling the shoulder at all, and seems to be trying to cut off all Matthews' offensive flurries. The match ends with Matthews hitting a reverse DDT following a missed top rope legdrop by Daniels

Rob Eckos vs White Lotus
Eckos is the future Robbie E, whilst Lotus is a balding white guy who claims to be Japanese. Some early comedy sees Eckos trucks pulled down, with a white dildo in his backside. Lovely. Neither guy has convincing looking offence, but Eckos shows some character and moves around the ring nicely. Decent hiptoss into a DDT by Eckos. Conversely, Lotus does a chain of three rolling suplexes but goes from most impressive to least, starting with a T-bone and ending with a normal vertical suplex, not understanding the idea of escalating the impressiveness of the moves. Eckos wins a quick match with a handful of ropes. Neither guy looked great, but if you were asked which one would have a role in a national promotion 10 years later, you'd have correctly picked Eckos from this bout.

Jason vs Del Tsunami
Jason looks in good nick here. Jason pretty much dominates, hitting a few nice suplexes. Tsunami gets very little in terms of offence in, but sells well enough, before Jason finishes with a submission, gravevining the legs with his arms whilst holding Tsunami's body in a leg scissors. Decent enough squash.

Roadkill vs Christian York
York looks a lot less pumped than in his TNA run, very much in part-time wrestler shape. The opening parts to the match are perfectly fine, and I loved Roadkill hitting a dropkick during a York skin-the-cat attempt to send him to the floor. They try some brawling outside the ring, which would look better if York wasn't so unconvincing at it. He looks a lot less slick than he does 10 years later, manging to botch throwing Roadkill out of the ring. His offence just looks a bit soft, which is disappointing, as I remember quite enjoying him in ECW. A few chinlocks throughout the match dont help to build excitement either. Roadkill has looked perfectly fine here, bar one moment where he's getting beaten by York in the corner and casually positions himself on the second rope for no reason other than for York to hit a rana. Roadkill at least comes back with some energy to liven things up. Throughout the match, the commentators have highlighted that Danny Doring isn't in the building whilst Joey Matthews is, so you know that we'll be seeing some interference, and low and behold, Matthews soon comes out. He's soon removed by Roadkill, but we get a blown finish where York superkicks a chair into Roadkill's face for 2, but the bell rings. Roadkill takes it upon himself to save matters by powerbombing Matthews onto York, then nailing a top rope splash for the win. This was inoffensive.

Ron Killings vs Syxx-Pac
Some stalling from current NWA champion Killings starts us off, as he decides to give the crowd a piece of his mind. This isn't too long after Syxx-Pac left the WWE and he looks sharp. I'm convinced fired-up face Waltman is his best incarnation, certainly more endearing than his DX persona. I loved Killings keeping up his war with the crowd, jawing at them whilst choking Pac over the ropes. A nice bump follows, as Killings hiptosses Syxx-Pac over the top rope to the floor. Killings cuts off a comeback as he catches Pac with a dropkick leaping from the top rope but misses a rare 450 as neither man can get a real advantage. This is a pretty short sprint of a match, so the back and forth nature feels fine here. I did fear a shitty ending after Pac hits an X-Factor, as he lies covering Killings, waiting for a count like moron despite having seen Sabu pull the ref from the ring. Luckily, he moves when Sabu tries an Arabian facebuster from the top rope, having set it up so that Killings gets hit, which means the spot makes sense. Syxx-Pac removes Sabu, and picks up an academic 3 count. I enjoyed this a lot, both guys looked really crisp.

The Blue Meanie & Jasmin St Claire vs The Rockin' Rebel & Missy Hyatt
When you've got a tag match and Rebel is the best guy in there, you're in for a painful ordeal. Watching this atrocity, I'm not convinced Jasmin isn't second best. You can clearly see Meanie guiding her through everything, but her offence on the Rebel still manages to look more convincing than that of her partner. Poor Rebel gets double teamed in the early going, as Hyatt just stands on the apron. Rebel is one of those guys you know is a bit shit, but for some reason, I've got a soft spot for the guy, possibly because he'll happily let himself look like a berk in a throwaway comedy match like this. Here, he takes all the token comedy spots - a headbutt to the crotch from a dazed Meanie, then falling into the doggystyle position with Hyatt after they get splashed in the corner (which Missy initially manages to blow by falling out of the corner too early). This match even ends like a crock of shit, Meanie shoving Rebel over a crouching Jasmin, who rolls him up for the win, despite Rebel's foot being clearly in the ropes. Just utter shite. Postmatch, we get an angle, as Tod Gordon turns up with some massive bloke who chokeslams Meanie, allowing Jasmin to turn on him. Aside from the fact that the company owners still have to get their win in before the turn, the angle feels out-of-place on a tribute show.

Curt Hennig vs Jerry Lawler
This should be fun. We get off to a good start as both guys try to one up each other, trading slams before Hennig hits a backdrop and Lawler reverses a second attempt. Neither guy manages to get a clear avantage. Hennig takes a trademark bump as he's punched over the top rope onto table. Lawler plays face here, which is odd given his anti-ECW past. Hennig concentrates on wearing down Lawler, locking in a sleeper then stomping away at him. Lawler comes back with a stunner for two, complete with double middle fingers. Hennig retaliates with a piledriver, but only gets two with a cocky pin. Neither guy is doing anything special, but the execution is noticably better than previous matches on the show. A Lawler second rope fistdrop only gets 2, before Hennig wins in the corner with his feet on the ropes. Breaking all wrestling conventions, without any proof as to the cheating the ref restarts the match. Hennig rightly decks ref, only for Lawler to roll him up, winning with a quick count from the ref. Despite the rubbish ending, this was plenty of fun. Maybe not great, as they never really left first gear, but proof that you can do more with less.

Sabu vs Gary Wolfe
Wolfe gets beaten down pre-match by Tod Gordon and his massive henchman, apparently called Annihilation. Despite this, Wolfe dominates early, though is well out of position for Sabu's rebound clothesline. They brawl outside, with Wolfe throwing some pissweak forearms. More weak brawling follows, before Sabu livens things up with a triple jump dive into the crowd. They wander around the arena a bit more, where Wolfe DDT's Sabu through a table on the stage. We get more tedious wander-wander-punch-wander fighting, before they get back to the ring. Wolfe rolls Sabu into the ring, then immediately throws him back out again, as he's clearly got no ideas on what to do in the match. Gordon and co hits some crap cheap shots outside the ring, which Wolfe totally no-sells. Sabu hits the triple jump moonsault for two. A second attempt is met with a chair, before Wolfe powerbombs Sabu through a table to the floor. This obvious finisher gets two. Inside, a burning hammer also gets two, and this match is really dragging. Having killed two finishers, they try to fill up time with bland offence that exists only to drag this match to "epic", but it's failing miserably. Worst DDT ever is hit by Sabu. It's totally fair to say that a ten-years older Sabu had better matches with Wild Boar and Jimmy Havoc in the UK last month than this, and it's all because those matches, whilst different, had actual structure to them. This is just overlong, drawn out nonsense. Eventually, Sabu sets up Wolfe on a table, which promptly falls over. Bonus points go to the commentators for covering this up by claiming Wolfe saved himself. Bonus points lost by following a trademark Arabian facebuster through the table by saying they'd never seen that before from Sabu. Started badly, and kept on (and on and on...) getting worse.

TNA Joker's Wild Tag Team Tournament 2013

So, these new monthly One Night Only PPV's are free to us here in the UK and with the latest Joker's Wild show bringing back happy memories of WCW's Lethal Lottery, I thought I'd check it out. Overall? Not a bad show for free, and I suspect I'd feel the same if I'd paid $15. The show sees randomly drawn tag-teams compete, with the winning team entering a 12-man gauntlet for a $100,000 cheque.

James Storm & Christian York vs Gunner & Crimson

This was a pretty standard tag team match, though I do think the team of Gunner and Crimson have potential together. They looked pretty cohesive, with Gunner splashing York in the corner leading straight to a Crimson t-bone suplex being particularly choice. The commentary from Taz and Tenay worked well at putting over Storm in this environment, highlighting how he’d won the TNA tag titles 11 times, as well as noting that it was Storm who ended Crimson’s undefeated streak. Yorks offence looks a little convoluted at times, especially when Gunner has to assist him in hitting the rolling kick he hits for the hot tag. Storm is a really good hot tag wrestler, as he’s got offense that is suitably flashy but also looks like it might hurt. I really liked him holding Gunner after hitting a codebreaker, in order for York to add a top rope stomp on Gunner’s prone body. A Storm superkick on Gunner ends this.

Jessie Godderz & Mr Anderson vs Douglas Williams & Kid Kash

Godderz’s character work here is excellent. His egotistical, overenthusiastic goof act works really well as he’s desperate to tag in, using one arm ringer, then tagging straight out again. However, his enthusiasm gets the best of him, leading to the veteran team to really take him to town. Kash especially takes great pleasure in beating Godderz down. I loved the spot where Jessie could have made the hot tag, but instead woozily tells Anderson “I got it” before getting battered again. Kash and Williams get insane elevation on a back bodydrop. Kash’s springboard moonsault on Jessie is just beautiful, but only gets two. The hot tag comes when Jessie just kind of falls into Anderson, who tags in and cleans house, but Jessie stops him as he attempts a fireman’s carry roll on Kash. Anderson, fed up with his goofy partner, nails a Mic Check on Jessie, then reverses a Kash roll up to win for his team. Loved the dynamic of the exasperated Anderson, the goofy Godderz and the no-nonsense veterans here, surprisingly entertaining.

Samoa Joe & Christopher Daniels vs Chavo Guerrero & Rob Van Dam

Daniels is overjoyed to have Joe as his partner. Daniels works good early segments with both Chavo and RVD, with RVD’s leg submission/pin combo looking good. The RVD/Guerrero team dominate both Joe and Daniels early on, until Daniels nails Chavo from the outside. Despite Joe being a face, he has a similar attitude to Daniels and doesn’t seem offended by his partner’s blatant cheating. They work well together. They work a decent, lengthy heat section on Chavo, until Daniels ego costs them, as he stops Joe hitting a musclebuster, allowing Chavo time to recover and make the tag to RVD. RVD attempts the 5* on Joe, but interference from Chavo and Daniels gives Joe time to recover, and he plays possum, suddenly leaping up to hit the musclebuster on RVD for the win. Perfectly watchable, but a little flat in places.

Robbie E & Zema Ion vs Bobby Roode & Joseph Park

The team of Robbie and Ion seem perfectly suited together. The team of Roode and Park less so. Park pulls the best “sad face” when Roode lambasts him. I love the initial stages of the match where Roode dominates and pretends he’ll tag Park in, before refusing to do so. Eventually, he does tag in Park, but soon starts to regret his decision (Roode yelling “Tag me back in, you moron” got a legit laugh from me). E and Ion work over Park after an Ion distraction leads to a Robbie attack on Park’s leg, and look pretty good doing it. An Ion 450 hits Park’s back as he tries to move, in an awkward looking spot, but Ion hitting Poetry In Motion on Park only busts him open and puts him in a rage-trance. Park destroys his opponents, hitting a Black Hole Slam on Robbie, before coming out of his trance. I love Roode blind tagging in to cover Robbie and claim the glory for himself. Not a great match, but plenty of fun.

Hernandez & Alex Silva vs DOC & Devon

Taz on commentary implies that Ace’s & 8’s rigged the draw for this one. I actually thought Silva looked pretty impressive here, taking offence well and hitting some nice underdog offence. I liked Hernandez elevating him into Devon in the corner too. Soon, Silva gets isolated, and DOC gets great height on a legdrop, which looks awesome. This is a basic tag formula match, complete with heat section and a false tag, but it’s done well enough. Silva lands on his feet on a suplex and tags Hernandez, who blitzes his opponents with some power moves. Silva blind tags himself back in again before Hernandez leaps from the ring onto Devon with a swank tope. This leaves Silva with DOC, and again Silva has a nice period of underdog offence, before DOC wipes him out with a big boot and a chokeslam. Thought Silva looked plenty promising here.

Matt Morgan & Robbie T vs Al Snow & Joey Ryan

The underlying story here is that Snow and Ryan still hate each other from Gut Check, and that Morgan and Ryan don’t want to fight. This leaves Snow to work the bulk of the match, and he’s really off the pace here. He works a section with Robbie T that is really clumsy looking. I was initially inclined to blame Robbie for this, but his later section with Ryan is alright, so I feel Snow is more at fault. Also, as veteran, he should really have advised T to do something more exciting during a painful 5 minute chinlock. Snow should surely know better. This does pick up towards the end, where Snow and Terry conspire to leave Ryan and Morgan in the ring, as the two friends don’t want to fight. This leads to Ryan, hilariously, raining down on Morgan with futile blows, only for a Carbon Footprint to give the win to Morgan and Terry. Not very good, and I can’t help but blame Snow for that.

12 Man Gauntlet for $100,000 (James Storm, Christian York, Mr Anderson, Jessie Godderz, Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Bobby Roode, Joseph Park, DOC, Devon, Matt Morgan & Robbie T)

The gauntlet starts with Storm and Roode, which gives some reliably solid action. The next two entrants are Devon and DOC, which means that the ex-Beer Money members set aside their differences to eliminate DOC. There are a few entries that come with little consequence, as Godderz, York and Park all enter. I do love the fact that Storm and Roode fight each other just to get the chance to strike Godderz in the corner. Anderson comes in and nails Godderz, allowing Park to eliminate him. Daniels and Joe enter, but no eliminations take place until Robbie T comes in, eliminating York, Daniels and Anderson in quick succession. Morgan is the last entrant, and he too goes on a spree, throwing Park, Joe and Robbie out. This leaves a final four of Morgan, Devon, Storm and Roode, which soon becomes three as Morgan misses the Carbon Footprint on Storm, who bundles him out. Knux comes to the ring and pulls Roode outside under the middle rope, but his interference on Storm backfires as Devon gets eliminated. Roode sneaks back in and thinks he’s won as he throws Storm over the top, but Storm skins the cat, and nails a codebreaker and a superkick for the win. Not much to enjoy here, as the eliminations were pretty much grouped together, though the ending was fun. Pretty enjoyable show on the whole though, hopefully this becomes an annual thing.

3PW Three Men & A Bodybag

So, it turns out Lovefilm have a whole plethora of 3PW DVD's available for rent. I never saw any 3PW shows whilst they were a going concern, but I remember reading about their shows when they were one of the bigger Philadelphia indies alongside CZW. Because I will watch almost any wrestling, I decided to give a 3PW show a go. It's not pretty...

Christian York & Joey Matthew vs Dylan Knight & Rapid Fire Maldonado
York and Matthews stall at the start to establish they're heels. Knight looks like a portly version of the singer from My Chemical Romance in binbag trousers, so he needs all the help he can get to win the fans over. An early nice spot sees York thrown outside, before the faces avoid a Matthews charge, which sendshim through the ropes, hitting a tope onto York. York and Matthews are clearly a level ahead of opponents in both work and character, though there is a really awful spot where events lead to York giving his own partner a tombstone, a spot so contrived that it draws boos. I do dig York's range of cocky covers. York and Matthews pick up the win after Matthews grabs Knight's leg as he tried to suplex York into the ring from the apron. Not a good opener.

Robert Pigeon vs John "The Tank" Toland
You may recall Toland as one of the Dicks in the WWE. He's in way better shape than Mr Pigeon here, who looks pale and gaunt in comparison. They start with a series of armdrags, which earns a boring chant. They then work a full-nelson reversal sequence that I alone enjoy. They pick up the pace, with Toland impressively catching Pigeon in midair on a crossbody and chucking him with fallaway salm. As the match goes on, the same boorish pocket of fans continue their "boring" chant, which isn't fair as it's a perfectly decent match. Toland shows off his agility by landing on his feet on a hiptoss attempt. However, Toland misses a moonsault, and Pigeon hits an implant DDT for 3. Perfectly acceptable match with a pocket of dickheads making it less enjoyable to watch.

Chris Hero vs Colt Cabana
Fans don't seem to like Colt much. A series of armbars and counters is a bit better received than in the last match, probably because it's a fair bit better. Hero does his best to heat up the lukewarm crowd with a plancha to the floor. Sitout Soylent Green gets two for Hero. Colt fakes a top rope dive to the floor to taunt the crowd in a funny spot. You can see moments where the match is starting to click into place as it progresses, as if they were initially thrown by the negative crowd. They seem to have won them over at one point until Hero botches a roll-up and the idiots strike up again. In fact, the frustrating thing is how disjointed this match feels, as you get moments of nice, fluid action before things just seem to sputter out. Even the ending is abrupt, with Cabana winning with a top rope moonsault, earning a 3 count that seemed to come too early. Very disappointing

Gary Wolfe vs the Rockin' Rebel
Christ, this isn't the pairing to get match quality up. We've got ourselves a dog-collar match here, though Rebel is wearing some plaid as he thought it was a lumberjack match. Wolfe attacks the Rebel to put the collar on him after RR initially refuses. Rebel tries to leave, obviously forgetting about the collar round his neck, so Wolfe dominates him outside the ring. Wolfe sets up a chair for a Raven-esque droptoehold, but Rebel manages to miss it somehow, going face first to the mat. The odd thing is, this is actually kinda fun. Clearly both guys know their limitations so just go for some old fashioned brawling. However, the match ends pretty abruptly. Rebel goes to splash Wolfe through a table, only for Rapid Fire Malondado to interfere on Wolfe's behalf for reasons unknown. Wolfe then tries twice to put Rebel through a table twice, failing to break it both times before covering for the win. Despite the random interference, this is (gulp) match of the night so far, if only by default.

Billy Wiles vs the Blue Meanie
Bloody Hell! One fan in the crowd HATES Billy Wiles and spends almost all match yelling about how fat he is. They work two comedy criss-cross spots before Meanie hits the milkiest punches in the corner I've ever seen. I actually thought they were comedy punches, but no, they were just shit. Billy making sexy eyes at Jasmin St Claire at ringside might be the most entertaining thing about this match. Seriously, Meanie seems to pause before every move as if he's trying to remember how to do it. The ending (which can't come soon enough) sees Jasmin leap on the apron as Wiles takes control. Wiles drags her into the ring, then uses her as a shield as he sees Meanie recover. However, Jasmin lowblows him and stunners him right in front of the ref before Meanie hits a moonsault to win. Just garbage.

Jasmin St Claire vs Candi
This is billed on the DVD as a separate match, in fact as an evening gown match. What actually happens is Candi runs in straight after the Wiles/Meanie match to attack Jasmin (which is odd, as she was a valet for the face team in the opener). Meanie grabs her and rips her dress off (what a face!) and then Dylan Knight comes in to attack Meanie and strip Jasmin. I can feel myself getting dumber just watching this.

Public Enemy vs Christian York & Joey Matthews
Seemingly, Y&M's punishment for being the best workers on the card is that they have to pull double duty tonight. No other explanation is given. They're so brilliantly obnoxious here that you really want to see them get beaten. York in particular is especially douchey here. Fair dues to the PE here, as they seem to be trying their best to keep up with Y&M, with Rock especially putting forth a good effort. Plus, there is something purely enjoyable about watching two obnoxious jerks mocking their opponents, only to get driven to the ground by an enormous Johnny Grunge. Y&M run away, but get dragged back to ringside by a random huge man and an arena-wide brawl ensues. To be honest, I find these kind of walk-your-opponent-to-the-next-spot brawl interminably dull, but compared to the matches beforehand, it's almost refreshing, and watching big Grunge put York through a table with an elbow from a balcony...I even cheered a little. Also, because Rock is willing to bump for a lot of Y&M offence, you get the dynamic of the big veterans beating the tar out of the cocky young punks without the risk of Y&M looking bad. Back in the ring, Y&M get a bit more offence, before the PE nail the South Philly Drive-By for the win. Was this great? No. Good? Nearly. Did I enjoy it? Yes

The Sandman vs New Jack vs Sabu
This is a bodybag match with Tod Gordon as special guest referee. The match opens with New Jack attacking his opponents with staplers and forks. Then Sandman and Sabu attack each other and New Jack with staplers and forks. Great. It isn't until Sandman droptoeholds Sabu into a ladder that something interesting happens. He then suplexes Sabu onto the ladder, but New Jack comes back with that fucking stapler. Honestly, the two things I find most boring in hardcore matches is stapler spots and "grinding-a-weapon-into-a-forehead" spots and this has them in abundance. Literally 80% of New Jack's offence is stapler-related, though I do laugh when he suplexes the Sandman and proudly announces "I know a wrestling move". Jack ties Sandman to the top rope by his neck before....bringing out the fucking stapler again. It's like a bad joke at this point. Sabu puts Jack down with a chair and a chair-legdrop before putting him in a bodybag to eliminate him....at least until Jack cuts himself free with a massive blade and gets right back into the match. Sigh. Sabu knocks New Jack out with his stapler (oh cruel hand of irony) and now Jack is gone for good. Bill Alfonso comes to the ring and turns on Sabu by throwing a chair at his head. However, Gordon then gets a cane and starts wailing away on Sandman. Gordon then beats up Alfonso and my brain feels like it's dying. Sabu puts Sandman through a table...and Gordon ushers him to the back. No bodybag, nothing. What a total whack of shit.

Officially the worst show I've review for the blog. A crowning achievement for 3PW