ECW Hardcore TV #40 18/01/1994

Tommy Dreamer & Badd Company vs The Tasmaniac, Kevin Sullivan & Johnny Hotbody

Pretty decent six-man, albeit with an ending that makes everyone look like an idiot. Thought this match had a really good Paul Diamond performance, he looks terrific and has some real dynamism to his moves. His running leg lariat in the corner was really nice in the opening minutes, and I liked the touches like fighting desperately to escape when Hotbody had him pinned in the opposing corner. The heels work him over nicely, good tag continuity. Tanaka gets the hot tag, but his flurry of offence is short lived, as he gets stopped in his tracks by Taz. Hotbody nails him with a sloppy superplex, and from this point on Tanaka is basically just beaten down. The heel team even take it in turns to pick him up on two counts, and Sullivan just repeatedly rams his head into the mat. However, Sullivan and Taz both roll to the floor and basically have a fit outside the ring. Hotbody goes for the tag, finds no-one there and gets rolled up by Tanaka for three. So the heels look dumb for throwing the win away, Tanaka looks bad for basically being dead for the final few minutes of the match, just a baffling ending.

911 vs Chad Austin

Austin wants a match, so Heyman gives him 911. Chokeslam, pin. There’s going to be a lot of these coming up, I guess?

Terry Funk vs Shane Douglas

I have to accept I was pretty naïve with this match. The show is a “special” 90 minute long episode, and the match starts half an hour into the show, yet at no point did alarm bells ring. I just assumed we’d get some more matches after this obvious main event. It’s only when we were 10-15 minutes into the match, and all we’d seen is Funk work a headlock (admittedly in an amusing manner) and Douglas apply various holds to Funk’s left arm (in a less interesting fashion) that I realised this thing was going long. And it felt loooooooong. Douglas especially doesn’t have enough stuff to fill this time effectively, and Joey Styles’s commentary highlighting that “Douglas is saving energy, just sitting back and working the arm” didn’t make the abundance of arm work interesting. I’m a guy who loves guys working a hold, but that’s different from lying down and holding the arm for a few minutes, then trying another hold. We also get two different crowd brawling spots, with the second one towards the end especially feeling like filler. Funk does a fun job of selling here, even seemingly blading the arm during the first crowd brawl. As a left-hander, he keeps trying to use his injured limb, the selljob of which keeps giving Douglas openings. However, we also get Funk crawling out of the ring after two piledrivers, Funk briefly working Douglas’s legs for the spinning toehold which he never tries for, a false finish with the ref restarting because Douglas used the ropes for leverage on a pin and then a schmozz of an ending with the Bad Breed and Sherri Martell all involved. By the time we got to the inevitable time limit draw, I just wanted this over.

ECW Hardcore TV #35 07/12/1993

Mr Hughes vs Mike Norman

Bland squash, with Hughes alternating between nice big boots and impressive dropkicks, and unconvincingly missing a clothesline by aiming well over Norman’s head. Big sidewalk slam gives Hughes the win.

JT Smith vs Johnny Hotbody

These two are among the MVPs of 1993 ECW, so it’s a shame to report this match isn’t too great. Smith opens with some awkward looking chain wrestling that doesn’t feel particularly smooth, before taking over with a nice fallaway slam and a high angle back suplex. There’s a lot of offence her that just feels sloppy, Hotbody hits some awful chairshots, Smith hits some weak looking clotheslines, and there’s a really poor botch on a top rope sunset flip that basically sees Hotbody falling onto Smith as he goes over. On the Brightside, Hotbody does hit some nice meaty elbows, including one to the arena floor, but this was a letdown. Smith gets the win after Hotbody’s manager Hunter Q Robbins hits him with a caneshot, seemingly on purpose.

The Tazmaniac & Kevin Sullivan vs The Bad Breed

Barely anything to speak of, as Sullivan decides he want to beat up JT Smith in the aisle, leaving Tazz to face both Rotten brothers. He dispatches them with no fuss in mere seconds hitting a second rope belly to back suplex for the win.

The Lumberjack vs Mr X

Mr X is apparently a masked Larry Winters. This goes about 30 seconds, as we’re joined in progress with the Lumberjack hitting a press slam and a heart punch for the win.

ECW Hardcore TV #34 30/11/1993

Sabu vs Tazmaniac

This was a lot better than their last encounter that was broadcast on Hardcore TV, though still not exactly a great match. There’s still some Sabu sloppiness, with a slip on an attempted springboard clothesline looking poor, and the end was pretty weak. However, there were bits to enjoy here as well. Loved Taz two big overhead suplexes, as well as a fun overhead into a faceplant. Enjoyed Joey Styles talking about Taz being in total control as Sabu dominates the match. Great timing. Sabu misses a pescado with a big thump and Taz looks great catching a Stinger splash into an overhead suplex. Then, the crappy end. Taz has Sabu down for a pin after a missed moonsault, but decides to pick him up, which is daft in a world title match. Instead, he decides he wants to hit a Swanton, than he unsurprisingly misses, and Sabu picks up the win. This was perfectly fine.

Johnny Hotbody, Tony Stetson & Hunter Q Robbins III vs The Sandman, JT Smith & Miss Peaches

Perfectly passable six-man, with the non-wrestlers wisely kept out for the most part. The two heel wrestlers are the two best workers in the match, which thankfully means they control the bulk of it. Loved Stetson winding up for a big punch, only to hit a poke to the eye on Sandman, who becomes face-in-peril. Hotbody hits a lovely looking dropkick on Sandman, and downs him with a stiff looking clothesline. Sandman fires back and cleans house, and Hotbody/Stetson turn on Robbins by throwing him into the ring. A low blow from Peaches, and Robbins is done. Dug the explanation of the betrayal, as Mr Hughes destroys the faces afterwards, and Styles mentions that his manager Jason must have paid Hotbody & Stetson off to allow the post-match sneak attack.

ECW Hardcore TV #33 23/11/1993

Kevin Sullivan vs Keith Scherer

Basically a violent mugging from Sullivan. He attacks the hapless Scherer before the bell, battering him with weapons outside the ring, then corner-charging him three times and hitting a double stomp for victory.

Tony Stetson & Johnny Hotbody vs JT Smith & the Sandman

Smith is still recovering from his injured knee that was exacerbated by Terry Funk, so Sandman is reluctant to tag him in. The heel team of Stetson and Hotbody are really solid here, tagging and double-teaming quickly as they work over the Sandman. Sandman gets the odd poor looking roll up, but the heels start to focus on his leg. JT manages to tag himself in, still limping, and I loved Hotbody locking on a spinning toehold to ape Smith’s former mentor. Sandman finds himself forced to tag back in, and the end sees a second attempt at a cane shot by Hunter Q Robbins (the first was no sold, probably by accident) give Hotbody and Stetson the win.

Mr Hughes vs Kyle Scherer

Apparently this is the twin brother of Keith from earlier in the show, but the cynic in me thinks this is just jobber recycling. Scherer has some exaggerated selling, throwing air punches after taking a big blow. Hughes dominates and pins with a sidewalk slam.

Tommy Cairo vs Chris Michaels

Worked as a face vs face match. We get the good and very bad of Tommy Cairo in this match, as he hits a nice running elbow in the corner on Michaels, but then a lot of sloppy moves – awkward missed clothesline, poor running dropkick. The less said about his Thesz Press, the better. Michaels looks far better in control, his execution is really crisp in comparison. However, two back suplexes give Cairo the win. Nothing bout.

ECW Hardcore TV #28 19/10/1993

Pat Tanaka & Paul Diamond vs the Public Enemy

Good solid tag team wrestling here. Nothing outstanding, but this is well worked, decent stuff. Tanaka looks great here, loved his kicks and sudden legsweep, and catching a Rock rana into a ditout powerbomb looked really good. A lot of the early stages feel like a Tanaka & Diamond showcase, but Public Enemy are solid when they get control, working over the knee of Diamond. Tanaka makes for a fine hot tag, loved the double superkick they hit before Grunge accidentally hits Rock during an O’Connor roll and Tanaka gets the pin. Fun stuff.

Jimmy Snuka vs Chad Austin

Austin is an average looking man in a pink singlet, and he gets treated accordingly. He bumps well for the slow paced beating Snuka inflicts on him. Genuinely can’t tell if the release powerbomb Snuka hits was intentional or just laziness. Slingshot suplex gets the win for Snuka.

Johnny Hotbody & Tony Stetson vs The Sandman & JT Smith

Given that three of these guys are the best wrestlers in ECW, it’s quite galling that this is the match that gets clipped. Plus, since we last saw them, Hotbody and Stetson are mysteriously tag champions. They look good as a unit, double-teaming nicely, and Stetson goes right after the injured leg of Smith. Dug his little tricks like grinding his knuckles into the knees of Smith. At this point, it clips and we come back to Stetson dropping  big leg onto Smith’s knee. Bizarrely, the heels just let Sandman tag in after all that work on Smith. The end is hokey, as Sandman gets backdropped onto Terry Funk at ringside and, as Sandman puts Hotbody in a sleeper, Funk comes in to hit Sandman with a chair, seemingly in affront at Sandman having the audacity to get thrown onto him. Really odd ending.

Tommy Dreamer vs Tazmaniac

Here’s a young, suspenders-wearing Tommy Dreamer making his ECW debut, as a Marcus Bagwell-esque pretty boy face. It’s Taz who brings the fun stuff to the match, hitting a big t-bone suplex, a nice powerslam and then reversing a suplex attempt into a big Northern Lights. Tommy takes a beating here for a crowd who don’t seem certain what to make of him, getting a chair broken over him and eating a big DDT on the floor. Tommy fires back, and Joey Styles massively telegraphs that he won’t win by guaranteeing he will, only for Taz to catch him on the top ropes with a big Northern Lights suplex from the top to win. Actually fun stuff here.

ECW Hardcore TV #16 27/07/1993

This is a REALLY tough episode of ECW to get through, starting with a long press conference with Tod Gordon, and with the majority of the episode dedicated to Eddie Gilbert's increasingly tiresome "King of Philadelphia" schtick, which culminates in a really embarrassing vignette at a wrestling show that seems to be filmed in someone's back garden. It makes ECW look so small-time, and it also means we only get two matches.

Terry Funk vs The Canadian Wolfman

No idea why the Wolfman, of all people, gets to fight Terry Funk this week, when he’s not appeared on the show since week #8. It’s not like he’s a guy who’s going to put on a good match with Funk either, as he’s a slovenly fat guy with awful tattoo’s who bumps awkwardly. He tries to get some control by gouging Terry’s eyes, but is soon put away with 3 slams and a spinning toe hold.

Johnny Hotbody vs The Sandman

Well, this is definitely the best Sandman match so far in ECW, and you can give full credit for that to Hotbody. His movement here is excellent, just adding little touches to ensure that he turns round at just the right time to take a move from the Sandman, and he takes a big bump face-first on the mat, as Sandman pulls him over the top rope from the floor. His diving elbow to the concrete floor earns what feels like a legitimate cry of shock from Paul Heyman on commentary. Sandman ends up victorious, as Hotbody tries a cocky bicep pose pin following a shot from Hunter Q Robbins’s cane, only to get rolled up for the pin. Still, a great performance from Hotbody.

ECW Hardcore TV #15 20/07/1993

The Super Destroyers vs The Suicide Blondes

The Blondes are represented here by Hotbody and Michaels, following Candido’s arm break the week before. This is title vs career, with the Blondes putting their ECW jobs on the line. This is definitely the best match these two teams have put on against each other, feels like they’ve finally found some chemistry. There is an early odd moment, where Michaels takes ages climbing to the top rope, which feels like it’s telegraphing a miss, only to connect with a top rope splash. Aside from that, this is good, with the Blondes working over the arm of one Destroyer. They stick to sensible tag formula, with the Blondes luring in the other Destroyer in order to assault his partner’s arm behind the ref’s back. The hot tag is a bit shit though, as the Destroyer decides to stop selling, punch Michaels once and tag out. Didn’t feel built to, and the lukewarm pop reflected that. The ref gets distracted by a brawl on the floor, and Candido sneaks in with a shot from his cast to give the Blondes the win.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Larry Winters

Took me three goes to watch this match, which literally put me to sleep twice. Not very exciting, Winters still comes across as clunky and his hiptoss looks woeful. Even with my self-confessed soft spot for the Rebel, I didn’t find anything here to recommend, and I was glad when Winters intercepted a cane that Tony Stetson threw to the Rebel, hitting Rebel with it for the win.

Jimmy Snuka vs Terry Funk

This is for the TV title. Actually feels like a big main event match, two big stars pairing off. This is Snuka’s best performance in ECW so far, and it feels like that’s due to Funk’s selling making him look a million dollars. Funk gives up a lot of the opening part of the match, taking big bumps and flailing wildly when taken out by Snuka. Credit due to Snuka though, as he looked more sure on his feet than in the past, and seemed to exert a bit more effort. Probably would feel a bit more motivated against Funk than facing Glen Osbourne again. There is one shaky spot, where they attempt a series of quick rolling cradles which are actually really slow and look bad. The end is a fun copout, as they exchange headbutts, before Funk goes headbutt crazy and nuts the ref. He also gives the two replacement refs a noggin-knocker with Snuka, before the Dangerous Alliance comes in and the match is called out. Wild brawl ensues, with the Alliance, the Suicide Blondes, the Russians, the Super Destroyers….basically the entire locker room, all coming out to brawl. Decent way to end the show.

ECW Hardcore TV #14 06/07/1993

Super Destroyers vs Richard Michaels & Johnny Hotbody

This has the added stipulation of the Destroyers putting their masks on the line vs the Suicide Blondes’ tag titles. The Destroyers control early doors, with one of them hitting a nice looking enzuigiri. Michaels hits a really shitty looking bulldog (looks like the Destroyer went down too late) to take over, and the energy really goes up when Hotbody gets in. I’m far from convinced that he’s a great wrestler or anything, but he always seems more motivated than the wrestlers around him. The ending here is terrible. A ref distraction allows Chris Candido to come out and swap places with Michaels (despite looking nothing alike – even down to the colour and length of their trunks), and this happens right in front of a Destroyer who does nothing. The other Destroyer rolls up Candido for an absurdly long cradle – the referee still being distracted – then when the ref turns round, he reapplies the cradle to Candido for the three count. So amateur.

Ivan Koloff vs The Sandman

I’m glad we live in a world where such an odd pairing happened. The early stages are spent on the mat, and are surprisingly not bad. Koloff is always one step ahead, but Sandman doesn’t look too bad. Sandman ups the tempo with a terrible crossbody. Koloff goes up top, but gets caught by the Sandman, who throws him off. Rockin’ Rebel comes out and hurls a green liquid in the eyes of Sandman’s manager, Peaches, but oddly this doesn’t play into the distraction finish. Instead, Sandman gets distracted by Vladimir Koloff on the opposite side of the ring and takes a weak knee to the back to give Ivan the win. This was a #1 contenders match, which is going to lead to a heel vs heel match with Koloff taking Muraco, assuming this goes ahead.

Dark Patriot, Eddie Gilbert & Don Muraco vs Glen Osbourne, Tommy Cairo & Larry Winters

The graphics announce an 8 man tag is coming next, but this is quite clearly only 6 men. We don’t exactly have the cream of the face workers in ECW here, but there is one great piece of schtick here, where the faces hold an armbar on Gilbert and swap places behind the refs back, infuriating Paul E Dangerously on commentary. Even better, Gilbert manages to tag Muraco, but because the ref was distracted by the faces, he doesn’t see it and refuses to let Muraco in. Nice, simple comedy spot. Also, Tommy Cairo hits a full-force shoulder block that looks terrific. As far as the heels go, the lazy offense or Muraco is really highlighted by how crisp the Dark Patriot is, as he finishes off Osbourne with a great diving shoulderblock for three.

Sal Bellomo vs Chris Candido

Hey, Bellomo hit a dropkick in the first few minutes here, might be the best looking thing he’s done in his ECW run. He then bites Candido’s arm to block a clothesline. He’s a like a hairy, shit Pete Dunne. The ref of the Blondes run in to cause a DQ, and we get a big brawl to close the show as the Super Destroyers make the save. In the melee, the Destroyers seemingly break Candido’s arm, which is the image we close the show on

ECW Hardcore TV #12 22/06/1993

Don Muraco vs Tommy Cairo

Man, this is probably Muraco’s worst performance in ECW to this point, and he really looks past his prime. He takes a stumbling slow motion bump off a Cairo crossbody and barely gets over on a backdrop. Cairo looks decent here, but he’s really facing a guy who’s just stumbling through the match. Amusing scene as a kid in a “We Can’t Dance” Genesis shirt steals Eddie Gilbert’s cap at ringside. The end is all sorts of terrible, as Cairo suplexes Muraco, but Muraco just rolls him over on the pin attempt and gets the three. Not even a hint of struggle from Cairo. Really odd ending that makes everyone look stupid.

JT Smith vs Dark Patriot

Patriot looks really good in the early stages, really solid execution of his moves with a nice punch and real snap to a back elbow. Smith isn’t very crisp, but he is very willing and looks like he’s putting some effort in. Still, his flying headscissors is sloppy and he barely glances Patriot with a moonsault for two. There’s a ref bump and the two battle to the commentary balcony. In an insane bump, Patriot knocks Smith to the floor a good 15-20 ft below and then dives off onto Smith. Patriot gets back in the ring and wins by countout. Nutso bump from both guys, and there are signs that things are getting a bit closer to the familiar ECW style

Rockin Rebel & Tony Stetson vs The Sandman & Larry Winters

The heel team are substantially better than the faces here, so it’s good that Rebel and Stetson control the majority of the bout. Stetson bumps about to make Winters’ floaty offence look good, despite there being so much air shown on a kneelift. Stetson’s offence isn’t flashy, but it at least looks effective and like it would actually cause pain. Sandman tags in and hits a dreadful DDT on Stetson before another crap ending (this episode is rife with them). Peaches gets on the apron to distract Rebel, openly slaps him in front of the ref and Sandman rolls him up to get the win following what feels like a REALLY fast count. Good match until the end.

The Suicide Blondes (Chris Candido, Johnny Hotbody & Richard Michaels) vs The Super Destroyers & Sal Bellomo

Surprisingly fun 6-man, due to more fun bumping and stooging by the Blondes. They make the basic offence of the Destroyers look deadly. Hotbody eats an ugly looking powerbomb from a Destroyer, but the Destroyers seem to want to beat up all three Blondes, and force the tag to Michaels. Michaels takes an amazing bump when he misses a top rope splash that gets insane height. Even Bellomo does the first cool thing I’ve seen from him in ECW, putting Hotbody in a figure-four legvine, then leaping down on his legs, which looks painful. The Blondes finally get control, but their cheating mean things quickly break down. In the melee, Paul E Dangerously gets involved to check on injured Blondes manager Hunter Q Robbins III, but gets levelled by a Destroyer. This lures out the Dangerous Alliance with weapons, and a big brawl kicks off to end the episode. 

ECW Hardcore TV #11 15/06/1993

It's going to sound odd for a show with a squash and 3 matches ending in DQ, but this is easily the best episode of Hardcore TV so far. Amazing what happens when you book Terry Funk matches instead of Glen Osbourne and the Sandman

Hawk vs Jimmy Snuka

Pleasantly, better than I was suspecting. Both guys take more bumps than I was expecting, with Hawk really flying into the corner on a missed shoulder charged. Snuka’s control wasn’t amazing, but I liked Hawk coming back after Snuka missing a diving headbutt and hitting a really good looking neckbreaker. Top rope clothesline looks to have won it before Paul E Dangerously runs in for the DQ. Short, but not terrible.

Suicide Blondes vs Super Destroyers

JIP match. The Destroyers have turned face, and seem to be having more fun in this role. Candido hits a nice dive to the floor, but gets caught on a pescado. One of the Destroyers goes to the top rope, and I start having kittens thinking a Super D is going to hit a top rope dive. Sadly, he was just up there to do some taunting. Chris Michaels (now renamed Richard Michaels) comes to ringside and interferes, as does Super Destroyer-wannabe Sal Bellomo, and the ref calls the bout off. Probably the most I’ve enjoyed the Destroyers, thanks to the quicker pace and Candido bumping for them.

Eddie Gilbert vs Herve Renesto

Renesto is a renamed Ernesto Benefico, but this doesn’t lead to a change in his fortunes. This is a chain match in anticipation of Gilbert’s forthcoming match with Terry Funk. This is a quick massacre, with Gilbert knocking Renesto down so hard they need to reattach the chain. After dragging him round the ring by his throat, Gilbert hits him in the neck with the chain and touches all four corners to win.

Terry Funk vs The Dark Patriot

First time Terry has been in the ring in ECW so far, and he’s a welcome presence. Patriot gets the early advantage after Dangerously distracts Terry on the floor. Dangerously features heavily in the bout, giving Patriot a coathanger and distracting the ref to allow Patriot to choke Funk with it in the ring. Loved how Funk sold Patriot’s punches, staggering into the ropes, getting caught up and spilling to the floor. Nice piledriver by Patriot only gets 2. Funk fires back with some great looking headbutts, and I loved him grabbing Patriot by the mask, alternating between trying to remove it and using it to hold Patriot’s head in place to lace him with some punches. Dangerously tries to interfere, but Terry sees him coming, leading to a great faceoff as Dangerously is frozen in place stunned. Terry nails 3 DDT’s, but Eddie Gilbert comes in for the DQ. Top stuff until the end, best ECW match so far.

ECW Hardcore TV #10 08/06/1993

Hawk vs Samoan Warrior & Don E Allen

Unsurprisingly, the debuting Hawk squashes the unimpressive pairing of Allen and Warrior. Big double-clothesline, powerslam and top-rope clothesline to Warrior, followed by press-slamming Allen onto his partner – easy win.

Battle Royal

This is to crown the Pennsylvania State Heavyweight title, a terrifically unimportant sounding belt. It’s basically everyone on the roster, bar the Dangerous Alliance. Sandman and Rockin’ Rebel eliminate each other straight away. Suicide Blondes show the most smarts by working as a team throughout, in direct contract with Larry Winters and Tony Stetson, who break up as a team following Winters’ elimination of his partner. Stetson lays out Winters, leading to his elimination at the hands of match-winner Tommy Cairo (though Winters does botch his elimination, leading to a re-do). Stetson then apologises outside the ring. With his apology finally accepted, he brilliantly then rams Winters into the ring post. Aside from this, the battle royal was pretty unremarkable.

Suicide Blondes vs Tommy Cairo & Glen Osbourne

Not much of a bout. Osbourne actually looks a lot better than usual here, mainly because he’s got the Blondes stooging and bumping around for him. Cairo has a nice belly-to-belly suplex that he lays out both Blondes with, but he gets hit by Hunter Q Robbins with a cane – RIGHT in front of the referee – and pinned for the win. Cairo and Osbourne should really be asking this ref what he was playing at. Match only existed as a backdrop for Robbins joining the Blondes as manager and the Super Destroyers turning face.

The Sandman vs Don Muraco

This is Sandman’s ECW title rematch. We’re JIP with a long Sandman headlock section. I’m a bit of a sucker for “face frustrates heel with long headlock” sections, but Muraco’s head threatens to slip lose at any moment, ruining the illusion. Muraco responds with a lengthy cheat-filled abdominal stretch, before Sandman is counted out on the outside when he tries to attack Paul E Dangerously and gets taken out by Muraco. Terrible stuff.

ECW Hardcore TV #8 25/05/1993

HD Ryder vs Super Destroyer #3

 SD3 is a barely disguised Sal Bellomo, who even takes his mask off for breath throughout the bout. This is played for comedy, which is about the best use of Sal. Bellomo’s offence is super soft, the only highpoints being a decent standing dropkick and Ryder selling an eyerake by wildly swinging at the air. A splash gives Bellomo the win, at which point the real Super Destroyers come in and obliterate him.

Suicide Blondes vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

Good to see the Blondes rewarded for their clean loss in a non-title match with a title shot. This isn’t great, though I really liked Stetson’s full-force flying clothesline. Winters is briefly worked over as face-in-peril, but when he hits a DDT, he opts not to tag out. This sets alarm bells ringing, and Hotbody causing a ref bump moments later do nothing to silence them (though Hotbody is dumb enough to try a small package on Winters, despite knowing he caused the ref to be down). More shenanigans lead to Hotbody nailing Winters with a chain to pick up the titles. Winters & Stetson being used as transitional champs to transfer the belts to the Blondes makes sense, as Hotbody and Candido are the best team in the company at this juncture.

Ernesto Benefico vs Don Muraco

Benefico is someone I’ve never seen look competitive and has zero chance. Muraco knows it too, as he plays this for laughs, barely putting any effort in. Muraco kind of awkwardly drops Ernesto over his head, then catches him coming off the top rope with a piledriver for the win.

JT Smith & Tommy Cairo vs Max Thrasher & the Canadian Wolfman

This was set up by Thrasher abandoning Smith the previous week, though given that he’s now paired with the obese, slovenly Wolfman, it looks a short-sighted decision. Enjoyed Cairo and Smith here, as they work as a knock-off Steiner Brothers, even down to the colourful singlets and Stevie Wonderful comparing Cairo to Rick Steiner on commentary. They both hits some nice suplex variations on the shambolic Wolfman, with Thrasher deciding to stay out of the match, before finishing with a nice Cairo powerslam and a Rocket Launcher sending Smith on top for 3. This was pretty fun.

Jimmy Snuka vs Glen Osbourne

TV title defence, though given that Osbourne’s offence is almost entirely monkey flips and snapmares, you don’t see the title changing hands. Snuka sells a clothesline in an embarrassing manner, taking a soft limb to the chest and turning to slowly leap over the top rope. An Osbourne roll up after Snuka misses a corner charge is SO close and actually had me going for a second. After Osbourne controls the bout, a soft Snuka backbreaker seems to put him out of action, giving Snuka time to slowly climb the ropes and hit a Superfly Splash for 3.

ECW Hardcore TV #7 18/05/1993

Every week, it feels like the show is clawing it's way towards a somewhat watchable match, and this week we get two sorta-ok tag matches, which feel like manna from the Gods in this watching project. I keep seeing the thumbnail on the WWE Network where Stan Hansen makes an appearance and that feels like the only thing spurring me on to continue watching...

They actually start this broadcast by showing the previous week's tag title change in it's entirety. A match I wasn't planning on watching again and certainly not one I'm going to write about again. It's still not very good.

Jimmy Snuka & Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith & Max Thrasher

Another week, another match where Smith faces off against Gilbert. Liked the early going where the faces worked the arm of Gilbert – they may not have done it in an interesting fashion, but I loved how both Gilbert and (on the outside) Paul E Dangerously sold it as the most painful thing on earth. Also like Gilbert gaining control through the medium of a poke to the eye. The end is odd, as Thrasher accidentally drops an elbow on Smith whilst trying to break up a pinfall, then Smith accidentally knocks Thrasher off the apron trying to knee Gilbert. This causes Thrasher to turn on Smith, tripping him from the apron and leaving him prone for a Superfly Splash (literally, the only move Snuka does all match).

The Suicide Blondes vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

Non-title match here. This is four of the better guys in ECW at the time, so it’s no surprise that this is a perfectly functional tag team match. Nothing amazing, but certainly good enough. I enjoyed the opening quick teamwork by Winters and Stetson, and the Blondes also look good when they get control. They work a decent heat on Winters, but don’t wear him down enough before the Rocket Launcher, sending Candido down onto Winters knees. The champs hit stereo sunset flips on the Blondes for the three, with commentator Stevie Wonderful fucking up by yelling “They’ve beaten the champs”.

Don Muraco vs Glen Osbourne

Osbourne is really poor here, his armdrags are woeful and he hits an incredibly soft clothesline on Muraco. Muraco hits a stun gun and a one-armed tombstone to pick up a quick win in a bad bout.

The Sandman vs Rockin’ Rebel

Another match for Sandman’s ECW title, with their respective valets (Peaches and Tigra) banned from ringside. Rebel does a lot of stalling early on, making Sandman come to him. Every time Sandman builds momentum, Rebel rolls outside. Smart wrestling. Big difference in execution levels between the two, Sandman hitting crap dropkicks and almost falling over hitting a back elbow, whilst Rebel at least has a nice looking clothesline to drop Sandman. Yet another shitty ending between these two, as both men get knocked down and both valets come to ringside, get in a fight and the match is called off.

ECW Hardcore TV #6 11/05/1993

The Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

This is hair vs titles, with Tommy Cairo handcuffed to the Destroyers’ manager Hunter Q Robbins on the floor. It’s also no DQ, which Jay Sulli on commentary seems to keep forgetting. The opening stages where they brawl outside are actually pretty exciting, and the Destroyers actually look like big killers for a change. The camera cutting regularly to Cairo and Robbins makes the match harder to follow, but then it transpires there’s no real match structure anyway, so we’re not missing anything. No real heat worked on the faces, just guys getting in and out of the ring, and no transitions to offence, just guys deciding it’s their turn to go on the offensive. Winters has the wimpiest kicks to the head I’ve ever seen. Thankfully the end soon comes, as Robbins throws his cane into the ring (good job stopping that Tommy Cairo!) and Stetson intercepts it and crowns a Destroyer for the title

Jimmy Snuka & Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith & Max Thrasher

The formatting of this show continues to suck, as they book two tag matches back to back. There’s bits of this that are good: Gilbert continues to impress and has some nice offence, and I dug this cool reverse slam Smith did. The rest is pretty meh, with Thrasher’s sole contribution being to tag in, eat a Gilbert backbreaker and a Superfly splash for the loss.

Sal Bellomo vs The Canadian Wolfman

Wolfman is just an obese bald man with regrettable tattoos in jeans. He’s utterly terrible, starting the match by just looking at Bellomo, who just wanders up and punches him. He also can even take a snapmere bump, which is unfortunate as Bellomo seems to want to use quite a few. Bellomo splash finishes this quickly.

Jonathan Hotbody vs Tommy Cairo

This is a lumberjack match, and is probably match of the show. I liked Hotbody’s continued attempts to cower away from Cairo, despite the match stipulation, and especially how his partner Chris Candido was complicit in that, trying to provide him shelter outside the ring. There’s a nice bump when Hotbody throws Cairo to the floor and the Cairo/Robbins story from the start of the episode is paid off when it’s a Robbins cane shot that provides the knockout blow to put Cairo out. Call this a mild win.

The Sandman & Miss Peaches vs Rockin' Rebel & Tigra
This doesn't even get a finish. The main story is that Tigra wont tag in, forcing Rebel to wrestle all the match. This means he has to take Sandman's terrible looking offence. Honestly, becoming drunken hardcore Sandman gave him a career, because surfer Sandman is just a mess of sloppy looking spots and weak offence - his grazing dropkick here being a case in point. Rebel does take a big bump over the top to the floor to become the worker of the match. Tigra and Peaches finally get in...and the show ends just as they hook up. Excellent work lads.

ECW Hardcore TV #5 04/05/193

Eddie Gilbert & Don Muraco vs JT Smith & Glen Osbourne

Gilbert really feels like a breath of fresh air in these shows, as his execution is far crisper and his movement far better than anyone else in the promotion. Liked a few bits from Muraco here, his slingshot of Smith that sends Smith throat-first into the bottom rope is pretty good. Hotstuff International target Smith’s head and throat, with a neckbreaker and a loaded thumb to the throat from Muraco. Osbourne is tagged in to no reaction, and hits an admittedly sweet tombstone to Gilbert, but a debuting Paul E Dangerously clubs him with his phone and Gilbert picks up the pin. This wasn’t too bad.

Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

The more I watch of Stetson and Winters, the more pronounced the gulf in ability becomes. Winters looks pretty poor here, stumbling over when trying to hiptoss a Destroyer, whereas Stetson has some nice touches. Dug the thrust headbutt to the Destroyer’s arm to continue his team’s basic armwork, and he gets nice height on a flying forearm. The Destroyers work a dull heat segment on Winters, including some truly terrible chokes, where the Destroyer waggles his elbow about in an unconvincing attempt to make it look like he’s adding more pressure. Stetson is tagged in, but gets caught with a loaded punch when trying a back suplex, giving the Destroyers the pin.

The Sandman vs Sal Bellomo

This was terrible. Bellomo is a terrible offensive wrestler, all chokes and wimpy looking stomps. Sandman here has an odd habit of trying roll ups that only manage to send Bellomo into the ropes. Bellomo locks in a terrible submission, where I honestly thought he was trying a sloppy pinfall. Sandman only looks mildly inconvenienced. The end is a special type of dreadful, as Sandman clotheslines Bellomo from the ring, and Sal decides to wander about talking to the crowd and gets counted out. An absolutely abysmal match.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Ernesto Benefico

Very quick squash. Liked the cockiness of Rebel taking Benefico’s legs out and casually slapping his face. Big elbow drop, powerslam and a spinebuster wins it for the Rebel

Johnny Hotbody vs Tommy Cairo

This is billed as a grudge match, so of course they give it less than 5 minutes. Hotbody looks really good in places here, and then absolutely shocking. Loved how he stumbled into Cairo armdrags, made it look really natural as if he was being caught unawares. He also hits a lovely diving elbow from the ring apron to the floor. But then, there’s his superplex. Honestly, it takes so long to get into place that it feels almost inevitable that Cairo will reverse it. They go for the move and it looks like Cairo has reversed to a top rope spinebuster, but no! The commentary, and Cairo’s selling, tells us that Hotbody did indeed hit his superplex. Absolutely dreadful. Cairo rolls up Hotbody, ramming his head into an interfering Chris Candido, and gets the win.

ECW Hardcore TV #4 27/04/1993

The Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

The Super Destroyers are supposed to be the monster heels of the tag division, so seeing them selling for the weak offence of the face team is really off-putting. Lots of hiptosses and armdrags to seemingly send these big lads all over the place. We get a bit of heat on Stetson, but his hot tag out sees no reaction from the crowd. Winters hits a nice kneelift and locks in a figure four, but the other Destroyer brings in a cane from manager Hunter Q Robbins III, and we get a DQ. Bad start

The Suicide Blondes vs JT Smith & Tommy Cairo

The Blondes are Johnny Hotbody and Chris Candido. Cairo is a really frustrating character to watch – he can hit some really nice offence, like the swank back suplex he hits in this match, but he seems mentally unable to put together a good match. Here, he does dumb stuff like hold a headlock on Hotbody whilst watching Candido come over and just punch him in the face. He also hits really odd looking armdrags. Loved the diving elbow from the apron to the concrete by Hotbody, looked like a rough landing. Candido was also great here, and the Blondes stooged nicely for some of Cairo’s power offence. The end sees Smith hit a moonsault on Candido, but Hotbody comes off the top rope to the back of Smith’s head to give Candido the easy pin. Not terrible.

Jimmy Snuka & Don Muraco vs The Hellriders

Third tag bout in a row. Muraco wasn’t in great shape here, looked pretty old and fat. Nothingabout this match felt competitive, no sense of struggle from any combatant. Muraco seems to stumble on a discus clothesline attempt, and when he misses a corner charge to allow the tag for the Hellriders, he doesn’t bother with any selling. Muraco hits a tombstone and elevates Snuka onto a Hellrider for the win. Pretty lame.

The Sandman vs Rockin’ Rebel

The only single bout on the show, the only match with back story and a bout for the ECW title…is the only match joined in progress. So stupid. Rebel dominates with some really good clotheslines, including one which belted Sandman in the chin. Sandman takes over with some knees in the corner and a shit facebuster, before Rebel’s manager Tigra gets involved to draw the DQ. Unbelievable waste of time.

ECW Hardcore TV #2

Glenn Osbourne vs Johnny Hotbody

I’d only seen Osbourne once before in 1999 CZW, where he’s a lot chunkier. This was basic, competent stuff, but I did enjoy a few things Hotbody did. Nice sequence where he avoided a shoulder charge and hit a fluid German suplex right away. Also enjoyed his flying shoulder tackle off the apron. The end sees a ref bump, followed by Hotbody lowblowing Osbourne and nailing a piledriver. For some reason, Hotbody decides to do a superplex, but gets distracted by an arriving Tommy Cairo and gets knocked down, which Osbourne follows with a shitty splash for 3.

Larry Winters & Tony Stetson vs Chris Michaels & Samoan Warrior

This was competently worked, but featured moments of terrible nonsense. Michaels worked most of the match as an overconfident stooge, which was pretty fun. I quite enjoyed some of the double teaming by Stetson and Winters that was quite fluid. A few baffling moments though – at one point Michaels is running the ropes and for no reason decides to skin the cat, whereupon he turns into a clothesline as his opponent had just been standing there waiting. The end was also a bit off – Samoan Warrior is in the match for maybe 30 seconds, gets hurled out and the faces throw Michaels back into the ring. Despite being very much the illegal man who had been brought back in against his will, Michaels gets taken out with a Death Sentence for the win.

The Sandman vs the Kodiak Bear

Ha ha, this was ridiculous. Seeing Sandman in his original gimmick of happy surfer is obviously hilarious, and his opponent looks like a hobo John Tenta. This was shit, as Kodiak Bear seems barely able to bump. Lots of very, very basic offence here, with Sandman going for armwringers and roll ups. Sandman hits a terrible missile dropkick and a worse slingshot shoulderblock, before locking in a Million Dollar Dream for the win.

Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith

This starts at a much brisker pace than the rest of the show, as Gilbert rushes Smith sending him outside and brawling in the crowd. There’s a great camera shot where you see these two just disappearing into the darkness to fight. Loved the sleight of hand as Gilbert manages to crack Smith with the ring bell right behind the ref’s back. Smith makes a comeback, but misses a moonsault. The end sees Smith try a back suplex, but gets levelled with a loaded punch, Gilbert landing on top for the win. Best match on ECW so far.

Tommy Cairo vs Super Ninja

The Gilbert match would have been the perfect way to finish, but we instead get this JIP Cairo match. Very short, Cairo looks decent here with some nice fire, and I dug the ending as Ninja tried a splash in the corner, only to get caught and planted with a back suplex match for the win.