ECW Hardcore TV #26 05/10/1993

The Public Enemy vs Silver Jet & Gino Caruso

JIP match, and we’re definitely in proper ECW territory now. The arena is better lit now, with the crowd in the dark and the ring illuminated. Looks a lot better than the crappy “ECW” banner from the first few episodes. This is a largely sluggish beatdown by the Enemy, bar a few nice little spots. Silver Jet looks terrible in his camo trousers and black t-shirt. He’d be the most bush-league looking guy in a 2003 CZW student battle royal. Rock hits a nice quebrada, Grunge hits a reverse DDT and Rock finishes the Jet with a Swanton, admittedly getting good distance on it.

Sabu vs Tazmaniac

I am sure this was revolutionary in 1993, and the fans eat it up, but viewed through 2017 eyes…this is shit. There’s very little structure, just a bunch of spots which are hit with varying levels of success. I did think Taz showed some smarts when, after the table Sabu placed him on falls apart, Taz just gets up and suplexes Sabu through the remains. I was less impressed when Sabu elbowed him in the face and Tazmaniac sold it by climbing to the second rope to eat a top rope Frankensteiner. Taz hits a huge suplex that almost drops Sabu on his head. The transitions here are woeful, momentum just switching arbitrarily. Sabu picks up the win with a sloppy moonsault. Really disliked this.

The Sandman vs The Metal Maniac

This wasn’t any better. Sandman hits a nice high waistlock takedown early, and that’s probably the best part of the match. Maniac barely gets Sandman off the ground with an unbelievably shit side suplex. Sandman hits a top rope clothesline to win. Awful.

Terry Funk vs Jimmy Snuka

This is a cage match for the TV title, billed as “Funk’s Last Stand”. There’s bits of this that are good, and bits that are very poor. Funk sells like a champion early, as Snuka whips him into the corners, making a simple move looks vicious. He’s also the first to eat a faceful of cage. For two veterans, they both manage to make piledrivers look utterly ineffectual. Funk sells one by getting up 10 seconds later to prevent Snuka escaping a cage, and Styles helpfully points out that Funk is hitting headbutts just moments after taking a piledriver. Funk soon hits his own ineffectual piledriver. They base a lot of this match around headbutts, which isn’t particularly interesting, though Snuka is at least sensible enough to base a lot of his offence around trying to hurt Funk’s neck. The end feels pretty anticlimactic, as Funk just gets to the top of the cage, manages to knock down Snuka then hangs from the top of the cage before dropping to the floor to win. Even with the advanced age of Snuka, you’d expect better from these two. My opening claim of “Some of this is very good” doesn’t seem accurate now.

ECW Hardcore TV #23 14/9/93 & #24 21/9/93

Combining two episodes here, as #23 is mainly a preview of Ultraclash 93 and #24 is dealing with the fallout.

Tony Stetson vs Tommy Cairo

This is for Cairo's Pennsylvania Heavyweight title. Actually a pretty good match here, thought Stetson was really good. Loved him jawing at the crowd and suddenly poking Cairo in the eye. Stetson controls with a nice flying clothesline and a throat chop. Also, loved the mule kick as he re-enters the ring, just flowing round into it in one quick movement. Cairo isn't great here, his belly-to-belly looks unimpressive and his leg lariat looks more like a clumsy hip attack, but he's perfectly carryable. The match ends with a clash of heads, the ref getting bumped and Hunter Q Robbins putting Stetson on top for the win.

Jimmy Snuka vs the Metal Maniac

Oddly, the face/heel roles seem off in this match. Snuka has been heel for his whole ECW run, but here he’s leapfrogging, moving quickly and posing for the crowd. Meanwhile, Maniac does stuff like a cheap shot knee to the stomach. Everything Maniac does looks slow motion, making this feel more like a training match. Snuka gets the win with a small package.

The Public Enemy vs Jason Knight & Ian Rotten

This is a full match from Ultraclash 93, and is a squash for the Public Enemy. Ian Rotten is oddly billed as coming from Newcastle, England. It’s an overlong squash, though TPE look impressive throughout. Liked their double-team tombstone on Rotten, though the bit where Rotten leaped over the top rope off an Irish whip just so Rocco Rock can hit a big tope looks off. The end sees Grunge hit a reverse DDT and Rock hits a swanton for the victory.

I-Generation Wrestling: Rodman Down Under

This is a one-off PPV filmed in Australia in the year 2000, headlined by Curt Hennig and basketball player Dennis Rodman. This used to be shown on the Wrestling Channel in the UK on a semi-regular basis 8 years ago, so I've got fond memories of it, despite a lot of it being terrible. The version I'm reviewing is sadly the German commentary version available on YouTube, so I'm not totally clear on the rules in all the matches.

The Public Enemy vs the Legion of Doom

This is for the tag titles held by the PE, and is a double-elimination table match. Rocco Rock looks to be in decent shape, which puts him ahead of the other competitors in the bout. He takes a nice 360 clotheslines bump early as if to highlight this point. In contrast, Hawk hits a diving shoulderblock which sees him barely leave the mat. The key issue with this match is that everyone seems to move in a hesitant slow motion, making everything seem tentative and fake. Guys seem to be bumping gingerly. I know you aren’t supposed to get hurt on bumps, but the audience is at least supposed to believe you are. The Enemy work heat on Animal, before isolating Hawk off the hot tag. Rock hits a nice flip dive through a table to eliminate Hawk, but an attempt on Animal sees him move, causing Rock to take a nasty landing. Back in the ring, an awkward series of events sees Animal “spear” both members of the PE through a table in the corner (with Grunge tottering backwards embarrassingly) to win the match. Rock looked decent here, the rest were clumsy and inept at best.

Brute Force vs the Barbarian

This is a hardcore match. Brute Force is Brutus Beefcake under a non-copyrighted name. Brutus attacks Barbarian from the bell with a bin and attempts to choke him out with a broom, but a low blow turns the tide in Barbarian’s favour. Barbarian isn’t afraid to lace in the chops in the corner. They brawl outside the ring, culminating in a clumsy spot when Barb seems to give Brutus an atomic drop using the guard rail. That’d be a great spot if it was intentional, but it doesn’t feel like that’s the case. Really, this match is just two guys hitting each other with weapons, with control alternating back and forth at random. Still, fair play to Brutus who really does his part in keeping the crowd into the match, really works the audience. Beefcake gets a series of 2 counts, first off a terrible looking stunner, then off a DDT and a piledriver. I suspect the English commentary would attribute this to the Barbarian’s “hard head”. Beefcake tries a bin shot from the top rope, but as he leaps, Barb boots the bin lid into his face for the three count. Not a great match.

Sweet Destiny vs Brandi Wine

Destiny is accompanied by Australian boxer Joe Bugner, whilst Wine has a short-haired Typhoon, going under the name Sugar Daddy. Destiny is (slightly) better known as Little Jeanne of “feuding with Molly Holly on WCW Saturday Night in 99/2000” fame. She was always a decent worker in those matches, and this is the best match of the night so far. It’s not always pretty – Destiny kinda only glances Brandi with a top rope crossbody – but both girls work hard and take some nice looking bumps. Destiny takes the best looking bump, landing in the railings with some real oomph. Wine hits a poor looking powerbomb, but Destiny’s handspring rana is pretty choice. We get the inevitable face-off between Bugner and Typhoon in the ring, ending with Bugner nailing a straight punch to the face, before Destiny hits a top rope superplex to win. Good enough.

One Man Gang vs Tatanka

Tatanka is defending the “International title” here. This match is strange, in that there’s nothing technically wrong with it, but it’s a deeply uninteresting match. Which is odd, as I really like both guys. OMG in particular works hard to make this good, jawing with the crowd and drawing great heat, causing a deluge of rubbish to be hurled into the ring at one point. Heck, he even takes a big bump by getting slammed off the top rope, which I didn’t expect from year 2000 One Man Gang. For his part, Tatanka throws some nice chops and sells OMG’s offence well, but this match just drags on. It’s almost 20 minutes, which is an insane length for OMG in 2000. If this had been condensed down by even 5 minutes, this could have been really fun. As it is, we sit through a slow match to get a bullshit ending. Tatanka gets a visual pin on Gang following a top rope chop, but the ref has already been bumped. As Tatanka checks on him, Gang pulls out some brass knucks (making sure to raise them high for all the crowd to see, nice touch) and punches him out to win the title.

Curt Hennig vs Dennis Rodman

Hennig is working face here, defending the I Generation world title in a street fight. Rodman doesn’t get much offence in here, believably, but he does win me over with his effort. Rodman cheap shots Hennig from behind to start, and busts him open with the belt, which is a realistic way for a non-wrestler to take over on someone like Hennig. This doesn’t last long, before Hennig is in control and works him over outside. Rodman takes an impressive bump, getting hurled over the Australian announce table, before Henning drives him through it face-first. Back in the ring, Henning stomps on Rodman’s cock, before locking in a camel clutch (only actual wrestling hold of the match) and laying in some big chops in the corner. Rodman strangely escapes from the corner by giving the ref a headbutt, and after another tussle with Hennig, throws the recovered ref from the ring. This prompts a bullshit DQ finish in the street fight main event of a one-off PPV, but I guess both guys were supposed to be protected by it. Not a great match, but strangely entertaining up to that point, despite it being worked as an extended squash for Hennig. Probably still match of the night.

3PW Three Men & A Bodybag

So, it turns out Lovefilm have a whole plethora of 3PW DVD's available for rent. I never saw any 3PW shows whilst they were a going concern, but I remember reading about their shows when they were one of the bigger Philadelphia indies alongside CZW. Because I will watch almost any wrestling, I decided to give a 3PW show a go. It's not pretty...

Christian York & Joey Matthew vs Dylan Knight & Rapid Fire Maldonado
York and Matthews stall at the start to establish they're heels. Knight looks like a portly version of the singer from My Chemical Romance in binbag trousers, so he needs all the help he can get to win the fans over. An early nice spot sees York thrown outside, before the faces avoid a Matthews charge, which sendshim through the ropes, hitting a tope onto York. York and Matthews are clearly a level ahead of opponents in both work and character, though there is a really awful spot where events lead to York giving his own partner a tombstone, a spot so contrived that it draws boos. I do dig York's range of cocky covers. York and Matthews pick up the win after Matthews grabs Knight's leg as he tried to suplex York into the ring from the apron. Not a good opener.

Robert Pigeon vs John "The Tank" Toland
You may recall Toland as one of the Dicks in the WWE. He's in way better shape than Mr Pigeon here, who looks pale and gaunt in comparison. They start with a series of armdrags, which earns a boring chant. They then work a full-nelson reversal sequence that I alone enjoy. They pick up the pace, with Toland impressively catching Pigeon in midair on a crossbody and chucking him with fallaway salm. As the match goes on, the same boorish pocket of fans continue their "boring" chant, which isn't fair as it's a perfectly decent match. Toland shows off his agility by landing on his feet on a hiptoss attempt. However, Toland misses a moonsault, and Pigeon hits an implant DDT for 3. Perfectly acceptable match with a pocket of dickheads making it less enjoyable to watch.

Chris Hero vs Colt Cabana
Fans don't seem to like Colt much. A series of armbars and counters is a bit better received than in the last match, probably because it's a fair bit better. Hero does his best to heat up the lukewarm crowd with a plancha to the floor. Sitout Soylent Green gets two for Hero. Colt fakes a top rope dive to the floor to taunt the crowd in a funny spot. You can see moments where the match is starting to click into place as it progresses, as if they were initially thrown by the negative crowd. They seem to have won them over at one point until Hero botches a roll-up and the idiots strike up again. In fact, the frustrating thing is how disjointed this match feels, as you get moments of nice, fluid action before things just seem to sputter out. Even the ending is abrupt, with Cabana winning with a top rope moonsault, earning a 3 count that seemed to come too early. Very disappointing

Gary Wolfe vs the Rockin' Rebel
Christ, this isn't the pairing to get match quality up. We've got ourselves a dog-collar match here, though Rebel is wearing some plaid as he thought it was a lumberjack match. Wolfe attacks the Rebel to put the collar on him after RR initially refuses. Rebel tries to leave, obviously forgetting about the collar round his neck, so Wolfe dominates him outside the ring. Wolfe sets up a chair for a Raven-esque droptoehold, but Rebel manages to miss it somehow, going face first to the mat. The odd thing is, this is actually kinda fun. Clearly both guys know their limitations so just go for some old fashioned brawling. However, the match ends pretty abruptly. Rebel goes to splash Wolfe through a table, only for Rapid Fire Malondado to interfere on Wolfe's behalf for reasons unknown. Wolfe then tries twice to put Rebel through a table twice, failing to break it both times before covering for the win. Despite the random interference, this is (gulp) match of the night so far, if only by default.

Billy Wiles vs the Blue Meanie
Bloody Hell! One fan in the crowd HATES Billy Wiles and spends almost all match yelling about how fat he is. They work two comedy criss-cross spots before Meanie hits the milkiest punches in the corner I've ever seen. I actually thought they were comedy punches, but no, they were just shit. Billy making sexy eyes at Jasmin St Claire at ringside might be the most entertaining thing about this match. Seriously, Meanie seems to pause before every move as if he's trying to remember how to do it. The ending (which can't come soon enough) sees Jasmin leap on the apron as Wiles takes control. Wiles drags her into the ring, then uses her as a shield as he sees Meanie recover. However, Jasmin lowblows him and stunners him right in front of the ref before Meanie hits a moonsault to win. Just garbage.

Jasmin St Claire vs Candi
This is billed on the DVD as a separate match, in fact as an evening gown match. What actually happens is Candi runs in straight after the Wiles/Meanie match to attack Jasmin (which is odd, as she was a valet for the face team in the opener). Meanie grabs her and rips her dress off (what a face!) and then Dylan Knight comes in to attack Meanie and strip Jasmin. I can feel myself getting dumber just watching this.

Public Enemy vs Christian York & Joey Matthews
Seemingly, Y&M's punishment for being the best workers on the card is that they have to pull double duty tonight. No other explanation is given. They're so brilliantly obnoxious here that you really want to see them get beaten. York in particular is especially douchey here. Fair dues to the PE here, as they seem to be trying their best to keep up with Y&M, with Rock especially putting forth a good effort. Plus, there is something purely enjoyable about watching two obnoxious jerks mocking their opponents, only to get driven to the ground by an enormous Johnny Grunge. Y&M run away, but get dragged back to ringside by a random huge man and an arena-wide brawl ensues. To be honest, I find these kind of walk-your-opponent-to-the-next-spot brawl interminably dull, but compared to the matches beforehand, it's almost refreshing, and watching big Grunge put York through a table with an elbow from a balcony...I even cheered a little. Also, because Rock is willing to bump for a lot of Y&M offence, you get the dynamic of the big veterans beating the tar out of the cocky young punks without the risk of Y&M looking bad. Back in the ring, Y&M get a bit more offence, before the PE nail the South Philly Drive-By for the win. Was this great? No. Good? Nearly. Did I enjoy it? Yes

The Sandman vs New Jack vs Sabu
This is a bodybag match with Tod Gordon as special guest referee. The match opens with New Jack attacking his opponents with staplers and forks. Then Sandman and Sabu attack each other and New Jack with staplers and forks. Great. It isn't until Sandman droptoeholds Sabu into a ladder that something interesting happens. He then suplexes Sabu onto the ladder, but New Jack comes back with that fucking stapler. Honestly, the two things I find most boring in hardcore matches is stapler spots and "grinding-a-weapon-into-a-forehead" spots and this has them in abundance. Literally 80% of New Jack's offence is stapler-related, though I do laugh when he suplexes the Sandman and proudly announces "I know a wrestling move". Jack ties Sandman to the top rope by his neck before....bringing out the fucking stapler again. It's like a bad joke at this point. Sabu puts Jack down with a chair and a chair-legdrop before putting him in a bodybag to eliminate him....at least until Jack cuts himself free with a massive blade and gets right back into the match. Sigh. Sabu knocks New Jack out with his stapler (oh cruel hand of irony) and now Jack is gone for good. Bill Alfonso comes to the ring and turns on Sabu by throwing a chair at his head. However, Gordon then gets a cane and starts wailing away on Sandman. Gordon then beats up Alfonso and my brain feels like it's dying. Sabu puts Sandman through a table...and Gordon ushers him to the back. No bodybag, nothing. What a total whack of shit.

Officially the worst show I've review for the blog. A crowning achievement for 3PW

The Best of Mikey Whipwreck

Digging through some old tapes, I found this Mikey compilation I bought about 10 years ago. For the most part, it's his best known matches from ECW, rather than his best matches, but there are a few gems here...

Mikey Whipwreck vs the Pitbull
An ECW TV title match, with Gary Wolfe defending against the highly mismatched Mikey. The Pitbull basically destroys Mikey, sending him crashing to the mat with a standing enzuigiri. Mikey flies over the top rope from a clothesline before getting catapulted over a safety rail. Back in, Whipwreck takes a belly to belly and a powerbomb before the Tazmaniac turns up on the apron to distract Pitbull. Taz takes a kick to the head, but avoids a second one, causing the Pitbull to crotch himself. Mikey rolls on top of the Pitbull and, even though Wolfe raises his shoulder on two, gets the win and the TV title. Basic squash, but a fun angle at the end.

Mikey Whipwreck & Cactus Jack vs the Public Enemy
Terry Funk missed his flight, so Cactus picks a reluctant Mikey to be his partner. Whipwreck tags out right away, and runs off to the back. This leaves Jack on his own to get beaten up, but Whipwreck actually comes back with a small piece of plywood which he uses to clear the ring. Mikey’s first bit of offence is being used by Cactus as a weapon, getting whipped into Rock, before being used as a battering ram to send the Public Enemy to the floor. Mikey actually dominates Grunge in the ring, but is soon getting pummelled again following a DDT onto a steel chair. Whipwreck is face in peril and takes a trademark battering, including a huge powerbomb by Rock and a piledriver from Grunge, but Whipwreck manages to keep kicking out. Mikey is unconscious, so Jack brawls with TPE in the crowd whilst Mikey starts to recover. Back in the ring, Rock moonsaults Jack through a table before going back to Mikey. TPE go for the Drive By, but Jack manages to crotch Rock on the top rope allowing Mikey to cover for the three. Another match that is focused on the angle, but the action was plenty of fun.

Mikey Whipwreck vs the Sandman
This is for the ECW title, and Steve Austin joins us before the match to cut a blistering promo to essentially declare himself the next ECW champ. The big problem with this match is that neither guy really sells much, despite the fact they keep hammering each other with ladders. Indeed, Mikey takes a real beating here, including a Fameasser onto the ladder, but still keeps on getting up. At one point, Sandman props a ladder up on the railings and barrels out with a tope to seesaw the ladder into Mikey’s face, which should have killed Mikey off for good. Instead, Sandman misses a slingshot elbow and Mikey hits a top rope splash onto the Sandman, and a ladder, for the title. Too spotty to be any real good.

Mikey Whipwreck vs Rey Mysterio Jr
Sadly, this is all clipped, making it more of a highlight reel. We do get to see an insane Mysterio tope before it cuts to Mikey winning with La Majistral.

Mikey Whipwreck vs Steve Austin
This was scheduled to be the Sandman taking on Mikey, but Austin beat up Sandman en route to the ring and took his place. Austin is clearly dominant here and, unlike the Sandman match, this provides the match with some structure. Some fans chant “Hogan”, so Austin hits a big boot and legdrop for two in a fun spot. Mikey takes some huge bumps, including a monster over the top rope to the floor. The Stungun gets two for Austin before Mikey wins with a sunset flip. Decent enough.

Mikey Whipwreck vs Taz
This is from Raw in 97, and is a total Taz squash. Mid-match, Sabu dives from the Raw sign onto Taz’s entourage, so Taz responds by throwing Whipwreck over the top rope onto Sabu. Tazmission earns an easy win, but this is a fun curio.

Mikey Whipwreck vs Kidman
Mikey’s WCW debut, and it’s a PPV title match. It was all downhill from here. That said, I liked this more than any previous match on the tape. Mikey plays heel here and, being bigger than Kidman, bullies the smaller guy, which provides a nice change of pace. Mikey’s different attitude allows him to show some nasty looking offense, including wheelbarrowing Kidman face first onto a safety rail. Mikey even gets to reverse a headscissors attempt and powerbomb Kidman! Kidman does get to pop the crowd with a few high spots, including a nice crossbody to the floor, but Whipwreck pops up on a SSP attempt, sending Kidman crashing to the outside. Whipwreck continues to dominate, with a swank top rope clothesline and a monstrous top rope belly to back suplex both getting two counts, before Kidman reverses a powerbomb and hits the SSP for the win. Kidman gave loads to Mikey here, and let the scruffy looking guy most of the fans didn’t know look like a killer. Mikey wasn’t as flash as the other WCW cruiserweights of the time, but his offence looked like it really hurt and he could’ve had a great run as a cruiserweight dick bully. Sadly, he’d be jobbing to Scotty Riggs by the next PPV.

Mikey Whipwreck vs 2 Cold Scorpio
Or 2 GOLD Scorpio as he’s referred to here, putting both the TV title and the tag titles on the line. This starts pretty evenly, but once 2 Cold takes control he starts to decimate Mikey. After getting one or two hope spots, including a flying headscissors and a pescado, Whipwreck misses a crossbody and the Scorpio onslaught is on. Scorpio blitzes Mikey, hitting a tombstone, a moonsault, a powerbomb and a moonsault legdrop, but picking Mikey up on two to be a dick. The ref gets bumped following some brief Mikey offence, but Scorpio is soon well in control with a superkick and another powerbomb. However, his cockiness comes back to haunt him as Cactus Jack takes advantage of the ref bump and knocks 2 Cold off the top rope before hitting the double-arm DDT to allow Mikey to grab the gold. More angle than good match, though cocky Scorpio was a lot of fun to watch.

Mikey Whipwreck vs Sabu
Sabu is wearing a neckbrace. Wonder how much this will affect him. In the early stages, he actually acts like it is, grounding Mikey and positioning his body to stop him reaching the ropes. This is sadly the one time he acts like his neck hurts, as his next move is to hit a top rope rana on Mikey. From this point on, Sabu says “fuck it” and forgets that he’s got a neck injury, using a chair to dive on Whipwreck on the outside. To his credit, Mikey doesn’t forget Sabu has a neck injury, hitting him with a DDT, an enzuigiri and then ripping the neckbrace off before elbow dropping Sabu through a table on the outside. Mikey goes for a countout win, but Sabu doesn’t even hint at building tension, getting in on a 4 count. Sabu gives up all pretence of selling, hitting Mikey with continued highspots, before hitting him with a DDT through a table on the floor. Back in, this gets the win. Mikey tried, but Sabu was awful here.

Mikey Whipwreck & Tajiri vs Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger vs Tommy Dreamer & Jerry Lynn
This is a triple threat elimination match. I liked the opening section which saw Lynn and Tajiri in a blistering sequence whilst Simon just knelt on the mat open mouthed. It soon breaks down into a brawl and the camera man follows Tajiri and Dreamer through the crowd. Being handheld, this becomes impossible to follow. After what feels like forever, the action returns to the ring, where all four faces dropkick chairs into Simon and Swinger’s faces. Dreamer hits Mikey with the DDT, but CW Anderson pulls him out of the ring. This distraction allows Simon and Swinger to eliminate Dreamer with the Problem Solver. They then try a Doomsday Device on Tajiri, but he spits green mist in Diamonds face, leaving him prone on the top rope for a Whippersnapper, which gets the win. Too messy to be any fun.

Mikey Whipwreck & Tajiri vs the FBI
This is essentially a squash for the vast majority of the match. That said, a Guido/Tajiri sequence at the start of the match is terrific. The chemistry between Whipwreck and Tajiri is incredible here, as the decimate Guido and Mamaluke with double teams. I also dug the use of a table here, using it to slide chairs to the outside of the ring into Big Sal to stop him interfering. Whipwreck hits a vile looking one-man conchairto on Guido busting him open. The FBI get granted a small heat section until Mikey reverses a Mamaluke flying headscissors into a stungun to make the hot tag to Tajiri. Tajiri is so fucking good, everything he does is here is gold. Mikey hits a Whippersnapper through a table on the outside (which makes no sense as he goes through the table first), but inside Guido takes advantage of Big Sal distracting Tajiri to hit a Tomikaze onto a chair for the win. Plenty of fun.

Mikey Whipwreck vs Little Guido
This is from Border City Wrestling, and is billed as Mikey’s last match, which would last two years. They play a lot of this for comedy, with Guido stooging for Mikey’s offence, including getting hit with comedy weapons like a plastic sword and a straw doll. Guido sells a custard pie to the face as death. The match is pretty enjoyable given the context, though Mikey is noticeably not as smooth as Guido in the ring. Mikey mists the ref by accident, meaning a Guido Tomikaze doesn’t get counted. A second effort gets a 3 count, but the ref then spots Whipwreck’s foot under the rope. A top rope Whippersnapper through a table (still makes no sense) gets the win for Mikey.