ECW Hardcore TV #14 06/07/1993

Super Destroyers vs Richard Michaels & Johnny Hotbody

This has the added stipulation of the Destroyers putting their masks on the line vs the Suicide Blondes’ tag titles. The Destroyers control early doors, with one of them hitting a nice looking enzuigiri. Michaels hits a really shitty looking bulldog (looks like the Destroyer went down too late) to take over, and the energy really goes up when Hotbody gets in. I’m far from convinced that he’s a great wrestler or anything, but he always seems more motivated than the wrestlers around him. The ending here is terrible. A ref distraction allows Chris Candido to come out and swap places with Michaels (despite looking nothing alike – even down to the colour and length of their trunks), and this happens right in front of a Destroyer who does nothing. The other Destroyer rolls up Candido for an absurdly long cradle – the referee still being distracted – then when the ref turns round, he reapplies the cradle to Candido for the three count. So amateur.

Ivan Koloff vs The Sandman

I’m glad we live in a world where such an odd pairing happened. The early stages are spent on the mat, and are surprisingly not bad. Koloff is always one step ahead, but Sandman doesn’t look too bad. Sandman ups the tempo with a terrible crossbody. Koloff goes up top, but gets caught by the Sandman, who throws him off. Rockin’ Rebel comes out and hurls a green liquid in the eyes of Sandman’s manager, Peaches, but oddly this doesn’t play into the distraction finish. Instead, Sandman gets distracted by Vladimir Koloff on the opposite side of the ring and takes a weak knee to the back to give Ivan the win. This was a #1 contenders match, which is going to lead to a heel vs heel match with Koloff taking Muraco, assuming this goes ahead.

Dark Patriot, Eddie Gilbert & Don Muraco vs Glen Osbourne, Tommy Cairo & Larry Winters

The graphics announce an 8 man tag is coming next, but this is quite clearly only 6 men. We don’t exactly have the cream of the face workers in ECW here, but there is one great piece of schtick here, where the faces hold an armbar on Gilbert and swap places behind the refs back, infuriating Paul E Dangerously on commentary. Even better, Gilbert manages to tag Muraco, but because the ref was distracted by the faces, he doesn’t see it and refuses to let Muraco in. Nice, simple comedy spot. Also, Tommy Cairo hits a full-force shoulder block that looks terrific. As far as the heels go, the lazy offense or Muraco is really highlighted by how crisp the Dark Patriot is, as he finishes off Osbourne with a great diving shoulderblock for three.

Sal Bellomo vs Chris Candido

Hey, Bellomo hit a dropkick in the first few minutes here, might be the best looking thing he’s done in his ECW run. He then bites Candido’s arm to block a clothesline. He’s a like a hairy, shit Pete Dunne. The ref of the Blondes run in to cause a DQ, and we get a big brawl to close the show as the Super Destroyers make the save. In the melee, the Destroyers seemingly break Candido’s arm, which is the image we close the show on

ECW Hardcore TV #13 29/06/1993

The Koloffs vs Herve Renesto & Glen Osbourne

The Koloffs consist of Ivan and his nephew Vladimir. This is quite possibly my favourite Osbourne match so far in his ECW run. Vladimir goes right after the arm of Renesto, and Ivan keeps it up, holding Herve up in the air with a bearhug, incorporating a hammerlock. Vlad has a nice belly-to-belly suplex, and an overhead hammerlock forces Renesto to submit. Osbourne never gets in.

Larry Winters vs Tony Stetson

Fun little brawl, and despite Winter’s having a few soft looking blows, he also isn’t afraid to lay in the chairshots. Loved that Stetson used an eyerake to take control, and then lays in some stiff shots. Stetson is swiftly becoming a highlight on Hardcore TV. Sadly, this is a shortly lived affair, as both end up pushing the referee in a melee, and both guys get disqualified. The locker room has to empty to keep both guys in line. Best I’ve seen from Winter so far, Stetson brought the best out of him.

Jimmy Snuka vs Tommy Cairo

Solid, if pretty pedestrian stuff, but far from the worst Snuka match in ECW. Snuka hitting a high leg lariat looked pretty decent. Cairo always seems pretty watchable, and he made Snuka look good here. The end did Cairo no favours though, as he gets tripped by Don Muraco and then has to lie dead on the floor for ages whilst Snuka hits the Superfly splash. Really made Cairo look weak.

Sal Bellomo vs Richard Michaels

Michaels is another guy who seems pretty decent, but is done no favours by being paired with Sal. I did enjoy Bellomo breaking Michaels’s run of control with a simple eyepoke. There’s an odd spot where Michaels sticks a chocolate bar in Bellomo’s mouth, and Bellomo regain control and returns the favour. Michaels takes some big bumps to make Sal look decent, and I dug him flying over the top rope to get caught in an out-of-ring Tree of Woe after a missed butt-butt. Michaels tries to pin Sal with his feet on the ropes, but gets caught by the ref. In a poetic irony, Sal pins Michaels and puts HIS feet on the ropes to win. I appreciate the attempt to push Bellomo as a likable crafty cheating vet, but he’s still a woeful wrestler.

ECW Hardcore TV #10 08/06/1993

Hawk vs Samoan Warrior & Don E Allen

Unsurprisingly, the debuting Hawk squashes the unimpressive pairing of Allen and Warrior. Big double-clothesline, powerslam and top-rope clothesline to Warrior, followed by press-slamming Allen onto his partner – easy win.

Battle Royal

This is to crown the Pennsylvania State Heavyweight title, a terrifically unimportant sounding belt. It’s basically everyone on the roster, bar the Dangerous Alliance. Sandman and Rockin’ Rebel eliminate each other straight away. Suicide Blondes show the most smarts by working as a team throughout, in direct contract with Larry Winters and Tony Stetson, who break up as a team following Winters’ elimination of his partner. Stetson lays out Winters, leading to his elimination at the hands of match-winner Tommy Cairo (though Winters does botch his elimination, leading to a re-do). Stetson then apologises outside the ring. With his apology finally accepted, he brilliantly then rams Winters into the ring post. Aside from this, the battle royal was pretty unremarkable.

Suicide Blondes vs Tommy Cairo & Glen Osbourne

Not much of a bout. Osbourne actually looks a lot better than usual here, mainly because he’s got the Blondes stooging and bumping around for him. Cairo has a nice belly-to-belly suplex that he lays out both Blondes with, but he gets hit by Hunter Q Robbins with a cane – RIGHT in front of the referee – and pinned for the win. Cairo and Osbourne should really be asking this ref what he was playing at. Match only existed as a backdrop for Robbins joining the Blondes as manager and the Super Destroyers turning face.

The Sandman vs Don Muraco

This is Sandman’s ECW title rematch. We’re JIP with a long Sandman headlock section. I’m a bit of a sucker for “face frustrates heel with long headlock” sections, but Muraco’s head threatens to slip lose at any moment, ruining the illusion. Muraco responds with a lengthy cheat-filled abdominal stretch, before Sandman is counted out on the outside when he tries to attack Paul E Dangerously and gets taken out by Muraco. Terrible stuff.

ECW Hardcore TV #9 01/06/1993

Super Destroyer #1 vs Sal Bellomo

If you thought a face turn might make Bellomo into a more interesting wrestler, you’d be wrong. He’s still letting rip with some terribly weak looking offence, and SD#1 seems more than happy to play along. Just nothing here looks like it may hurt, epitomised by Destroyer “wrenching Bellomo’s leg around the bottom rope”, where he’s just about holding onto it. Bellomo hits a truly appalling slam and a low-altitude splash, before Super Destroyer #2 comes in for the DQ.

Eddie Gilbert & Jimmy Snuka vs Tommy Cairo & Glen Osbourne

Gilbert takes Osbourne to the floor early, where they have a brawl in the crowd, which feels like the only way Gilbert can make Osbourne interesting. Keeps him from having to try to wrestle. I dug Gilbert going to the floor to escape Tommy Cairo, and then hugging Snuka in a cowardly moment for big heat from the crowd. Snuka controls Osbourne with some so-so offence, though Gilbert cheapshotting Glen with a can of soda looks good. Gilbert pins Cairo with a Hotshot following some Paul E Dangerously interference. Gilbert is the only guy here you’d actively call good, but this was inoffensive.

Max Thrasher vs JT Smith

This was odd on many levels. It starts with Thrasher downing Smith with 3 headbutts whilst wearing a hockey mask, before cutting to a special announcement. The announcement basically gives away loads of spoilers for the next few weeks, before coming back to the end of the bout: Thrasher getting caught by the ref trying a pin with his feet on the ropes, before Smith gets the win doing the same thing. So baffling.

Don Muraco vs The Sandman

This is for the ECW title, and it feels odd not seeing Sandman defend against Rockin’ Rebel. Sandman controls early with some basic offence, not crisply executed, but at least hit enthusiastically. Muraco turns the tide following a distraction, hitting a shitty second rope fistdrop and a surprisingly good backfist. Sandman reversing a tombstone looks pretty awkward, before we get a big clusterfuck finish, with Dangerously, Rockin’ Rebel and Peaches all getting involved. This hubbub allows Dangerously to nail Sandman with his phone, and there’s a new ECW champion. Not a bad bout, but utterly pedestrian.

ECW Hardcore TV #8 25/05/1993

HD Ryder vs Super Destroyer #3

 SD3 is a barely disguised Sal Bellomo, who even takes his mask off for breath throughout the bout. This is played for comedy, which is about the best use of Sal. Bellomo’s offence is super soft, the only highpoints being a decent standing dropkick and Ryder selling an eyerake by wildly swinging at the air. A splash gives Bellomo the win, at which point the real Super Destroyers come in and obliterate him.

Suicide Blondes vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

Good to see the Blondes rewarded for their clean loss in a non-title match with a title shot. This isn’t great, though I really liked Stetson’s full-force flying clothesline. Winters is briefly worked over as face-in-peril, but when he hits a DDT, he opts not to tag out. This sets alarm bells ringing, and Hotbody causing a ref bump moments later do nothing to silence them (though Hotbody is dumb enough to try a small package on Winters, despite knowing he caused the ref to be down). More shenanigans lead to Hotbody nailing Winters with a chain to pick up the titles. Winters & Stetson being used as transitional champs to transfer the belts to the Blondes makes sense, as Hotbody and Candido are the best team in the company at this juncture.

Ernesto Benefico vs Don Muraco

Benefico is someone I’ve never seen look competitive and has zero chance. Muraco knows it too, as he plays this for laughs, barely putting any effort in. Muraco kind of awkwardly drops Ernesto over his head, then catches him coming off the top rope with a piledriver for the win.

JT Smith & Tommy Cairo vs Max Thrasher & the Canadian Wolfman

This was set up by Thrasher abandoning Smith the previous week, though given that he’s now paired with the obese, slovenly Wolfman, it looks a short-sighted decision. Enjoyed Cairo and Smith here, as they work as a knock-off Steiner Brothers, even down to the colourful singlets and Stevie Wonderful comparing Cairo to Rick Steiner on commentary. They both hits some nice suplex variations on the shambolic Wolfman, with Thrasher deciding to stay out of the match, before finishing with a nice Cairo powerslam and a Rocket Launcher sending Smith on top for 3. This was pretty fun.

Jimmy Snuka vs Glen Osbourne

TV title defence, though given that Osbourne’s offence is almost entirely monkey flips and snapmares, you don’t see the title changing hands. Snuka sells a clothesline in an embarrassing manner, taking a soft limb to the chest and turning to slowly leap over the top rope. An Osbourne roll up after Snuka misses a corner charge is SO close and actually had me going for a second. After Osbourne controls the bout, a soft Snuka backbreaker seems to put him out of action, giving Snuka time to slowly climb the ropes and hit a Superfly Splash for 3.

ECW Hardcore TV #7 18/05/1993

Every week, it feels like the show is clawing it's way towards a somewhat watchable match, and this week we get two sorta-ok tag matches, which feel like manna from the Gods in this watching project. I keep seeing the thumbnail on the WWE Network where Stan Hansen makes an appearance and that feels like the only thing spurring me on to continue watching...

They actually start this broadcast by showing the previous week's tag title change in it's entirety. A match I wasn't planning on watching again and certainly not one I'm going to write about again. It's still not very good.

Jimmy Snuka & Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith & Max Thrasher

Another week, another match where Smith faces off against Gilbert. Liked the early going where the faces worked the arm of Gilbert – they may not have done it in an interesting fashion, but I loved how both Gilbert and (on the outside) Paul E Dangerously sold it as the most painful thing on earth. Also like Gilbert gaining control through the medium of a poke to the eye. The end is odd, as Thrasher accidentally drops an elbow on Smith whilst trying to break up a pinfall, then Smith accidentally knocks Thrasher off the apron trying to knee Gilbert. This causes Thrasher to turn on Smith, tripping him from the apron and leaving him prone for a Superfly Splash (literally, the only move Snuka does all match).

The Suicide Blondes vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

Non-title match here. This is four of the better guys in ECW at the time, so it’s no surprise that this is a perfectly functional tag team match. Nothing amazing, but certainly good enough. I enjoyed the opening quick teamwork by Winters and Stetson, and the Blondes also look good when they get control. They work a decent heat on Winters, but don’t wear him down enough before the Rocket Launcher, sending Candido down onto Winters knees. The champs hit stereo sunset flips on the Blondes for the three, with commentator Stevie Wonderful fucking up by yelling “They’ve beaten the champs”.

Don Muraco vs Glen Osbourne

Osbourne is really poor here, his armdrags are woeful and he hits an incredibly soft clothesline on Muraco. Muraco hits a stun gun and a one-armed tombstone to pick up a quick win in a bad bout.

The Sandman vs Rockin’ Rebel

Another match for Sandman’s ECW title, with their respective valets (Peaches and Tigra) banned from ringside. Rebel does a lot of stalling early on, making Sandman come to him. Every time Sandman builds momentum, Rebel rolls outside. Smart wrestling. Big difference in execution levels between the two, Sandman hitting crap dropkicks and almost falling over hitting a back elbow, whilst Rebel at least has a nice looking clothesline to drop Sandman. Yet another shitty ending between these two, as both men get knocked down and both valets come to ringside, get in a fight and the match is called off.

ECW Hardcore TV #5 04/05/193

Eddie Gilbert & Don Muraco vs JT Smith & Glen Osbourne

Gilbert really feels like a breath of fresh air in these shows, as his execution is far crisper and his movement far better than anyone else in the promotion. Liked a few bits from Muraco here, his slingshot of Smith that sends Smith throat-first into the bottom rope is pretty good. Hotstuff International target Smith’s head and throat, with a neckbreaker and a loaded thumb to the throat from Muraco. Osbourne is tagged in to no reaction, and hits an admittedly sweet tombstone to Gilbert, but a debuting Paul E Dangerously clubs him with his phone and Gilbert picks up the pin. This wasn’t too bad.

Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

The more I watch of Stetson and Winters, the more pronounced the gulf in ability becomes. Winters looks pretty poor here, stumbling over when trying to hiptoss a Destroyer, whereas Stetson has some nice touches. Dug the thrust headbutt to the Destroyer’s arm to continue his team’s basic armwork, and he gets nice height on a flying forearm. The Destroyers work a dull heat segment on Winters, including some truly terrible chokes, where the Destroyer waggles his elbow about in an unconvincing attempt to make it look like he’s adding more pressure. Stetson is tagged in, but gets caught with a loaded punch when trying a back suplex, giving the Destroyers the pin.

The Sandman vs Sal Bellomo

This was terrible. Bellomo is a terrible offensive wrestler, all chokes and wimpy looking stomps. Sandman here has an odd habit of trying roll ups that only manage to send Bellomo into the ropes. Bellomo locks in a terrible submission, where I honestly thought he was trying a sloppy pinfall. Sandman only looks mildly inconvenienced. The end is a special type of dreadful, as Sandman clotheslines Bellomo from the ring, and Sal decides to wander about talking to the crowd and gets counted out. An absolutely abysmal match.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Ernesto Benefico

Very quick squash. Liked the cockiness of Rebel taking Benefico’s legs out and casually slapping his face. Big elbow drop, powerslam and a spinebuster wins it for the Rebel

Johnny Hotbody vs Tommy Cairo

This is billed as a grudge match, so of course they give it less than 5 minutes. Hotbody looks really good in places here, and then absolutely shocking. Loved how he stumbled into Cairo armdrags, made it look really natural as if he was being caught unawares. He also hits a lovely diving elbow from the ring apron to the floor. But then, there’s his superplex. Honestly, it takes so long to get into place that it feels almost inevitable that Cairo will reverse it. They go for the move and it looks like Cairo has reversed to a top rope spinebuster, but no! The commentary, and Cairo’s selling, tells us that Hotbody did indeed hit his superplex. Absolutely dreadful. Cairo rolls up Hotbody, ramming his head into an interfering Chris Candido, and gets the win.

ECW Hardcore TV #3 20/04/1993

The Super Destroyers vs The Wolfman & Super Ninja

Really basic squash here. Wolfman, despite the name, is just a fat guy in jeans. One Destroyer does hit a nice enzuigiri, but then barely gets Wolfman up for a slam. Super Ninja doesn’t fare much better and gets pinned following a senton. Nothing to this.

Jimmy Snuka vs Tommy Cairo

This isn’t much better. Short match with Cairo working a headlock for a long time to start. Not in the fun way, where Mike Quackenbush can work five minutes of schtick around frustrating his opponent with a headlock, just Cairo holding a headlock for a long time. Cairo barely stays down for a piledriver, before a ref bump sees Johnny Hotbody interfere, laying out Cairo with a weapon to allow the Superfly splash to win.

Eddie Gilbert vs Glenn Osbourne

Gilbert decides to go for smoke and mirrors to make this bout work. Lots of fighting outside the ring to start, making it hilarious to hear ECW commentators bemoaning the use of a table as “not wrestling”. Gilbert is clearly holding Osbourne’s hand through this to make it interesting. Osbourne works a weak comeback, with a milky clothesline, before Gilbert pins him after a brass-knucks blow. Commentator Jay Sulli informs the referee however, and the ref reverses the decision after finding them in Gilbert’s tights. This leads to Snuka vs Osbourne for the TV title tonight, as if we need another Osbourne bout.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Frank Cody

Squash, after Rebel flies into a rage when Sandman’s valet Peaches gives him a slap instead of a kiss. Barely 30 seconds, though I liked Rebel’s match-winning spinebuster.

Glenn Osbourne vs Jimmy Snuka

Yeah, this really isn’t great. Osbourne can barely hit a hiptoss on Snuka. There’s a terrible ref bump, as Snuka has to guide Osbourne round to get into position to be pushed into the ref, and Gilbert returns to break up a pin, leaving Osbourne prone to the Superfly splash to win the ECW TV title for Snuka. Really poor.

ECW Hardcore TV #2

Glenn Osbourne vs Johnny Hotbody

I’d only seen Osbourne once before in 1999 CZW, where he’s a lot chunkier. This was basic, competent stuff, but I did enjoy a few things Hotbody did. Nice sequence where he avoided a shoulder charge and hit a fluid German suplex right away. Also enjoyed his flying shoulder tackle off the apron. The end sees a ref bump, followed by Hotbody lowblowing Osbourne and nailing a piledriver. For some reason, Hotbody decides to do a superplex, but gets distracted by an arriving Tommy Cairo and gets knocked down, which Osbourne follows with a shitty splash for 3.

Larry Winters & Tony Stetson vs Chris Michaels & Samoan Warrior

This was competently worked, but featured moments of terrible nonsense. Michaels worked most of the match as an overconfident stooge, which was pretty fun. I quite enjoyed some of the double teaming by Stetson and Winters that was quite fluid. A few baffling moments though – at one point Michaels is running the ropes and for no reason decides to skin the cat, whereupon he turns into a clothesline as his opponent had just been standing there waiting. The end was also a bit off – Samoan Warrior is in the match for maybe 30 seconds, gets hurled out and the faces throw Michaels back into the ring. Despite being very much the illegal man who had been brought back in against his will, Michaels gets taken out with a Death Sentence for the win.

The Sandman vs the Kodiak Bear

Ha ha, this was ridiculous. Seeing Sandman in his original gimmick of happy surfer is obviously hilarious, and his opponent looks like a hobo John Tenta. This was shit, as Kodiak Bear seems barely able to bump. Lots of very, very basic offence here, with Sandman going for armwringers and roll ups. Sandman hits a terrible missile dropkick and a worse slingshot shoulderblock, before locking in a Million Dollar Dream for the win.

Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith

This starts at a much brisker pace than the rest of the show, as Gilbert rushes Smith sending him outside and brawling in the crowd. There’s a great camera shot where you see these two just disappearing into the darkness to fight. Loved the sleight of hand as Gilbert manages to crack Smith with the ring bell right behind the ref’s back. Smith makes a comeback, but misses a moonsault. The end sees Smith try a back suplex, but gets levelled with a loaded punch, Gilbert landing on top for the win. Best match on ECW so far.

Tommy Cairo vs Super Ninja

The Gilbert match would have been the perfect way to finish, but we instead get this JIP Cairo match. Very short, Cairo looks decent here with some nice fire, and I dug the ending as Ninja tried a splash in the corner, only to get caught and planted with a back suplex match for the win.