ECW Hardcore TV #36 14/12/1993

Sal Bellomo vs Don E Allen

Thankfully brief Bellomo squash. Even as a heel, he still resorts to cheap tactics, filling the match with chokes and slams. He hits an admittedly decent dropkick before finishing Allen with a splash. I hope Sal is gone soon.

Tommy Dreamer & Shane Douglas vs Kevin Sullivan & the Tazmaniac

Dreamer’s partner Johnny Gunn isn’t here, so Douglas comes in to replace him in this tag title defence. It’s easy to see why Dreamer didn’t endear himself to the ECW faithful in the early days, his suspenders-on-long-tights look making him look like the third, wimpiest American Male. He looks decent here though, hitting a really nice diving clotheslines and nicely stumbling from the corner into a Taz overhead suplex. Dreamer lands on his shoulder on a Sullivan belly-to-back suplex in an awkward landing, as he plays face-in-peril. Douglas hasn’t tagged in at this point, which gets your spider-senses tingling, as the seemingly reformed heel not tagging into the bout feels like a tried and true set up. Indeed, this is the case, as Dreamer makes the hot tag, only for Douglas to level him with a chained fist to allow Sullivan and Tazmaniac to win the titles. Decent enough.

Tony Stetson vs The Sandman

I wonder how far Stetson could have got in wrestling if he didn’t have such a terrible look, as he manages to work a decent bout against a perpetually terrible Sandman. Stetson’s offence always looks good, here sinking in his corner shoulderblocks and hitting a nice running clothesline in the corner. Sandman hits a nice top rope back elbow, and I loved Steton sliding backwards out of the ring, keeping his eye on Sandman and luring him to the floor for a cheapshot. Nice powerbomb only gets a two, before Sandman rolls through a top rope crossbody for the win. 

ECW Hardcore TV #34 30/11/1993

Sabu vs Tazmaniac

This was a lot better than their last encounter that was broadcast on Hardcore TV, though still not exactly a great match. There’s still some Sabu sloppiness, with a slip on an attempted springboard clothesline looking poor, and the end was pretty weak. However, there were bits to enjoy here as well. Loved Taz two big overhead suplexes, as well as a fun overhead into a faceplant. Enjoyed Joey Styles talking about Taz being in total control as Sabu dominates the match. Great timing. Sabu misses a pescado with a big thump and Taz looks great catching a Stinger splash into an overhead suplex. Then, the crappy end. Taz has Sabu down for a pin after a missed moonsault, but decides to pick him up, which is daft in a world title match. Instead, he decides he wants to hit a Swanton, than he unsurprisingly misses, and Sabu picks up the win. This was perfectly fine.

Johnny Hotbody, Tony Stetson & Hunter Q Robbins III vs The Sandman, JT Smith & Miss Peaches

Perfectly passable six-man, with the non-wrestlers wisely kept out for the most part. The two heel wrestlers are the two best workers in the match, which thankfully means they control the bulk of it. Loved Stetson winding up for a big punch, only to hit a poke to the eye on Sandman, who becomes face-in-peril. Hotbody hits a lovely looking dropkick on Sandman, and downs him with a stiff looking clothesline. Sandman fires back and cleans house, and Hotbody/Stetson turn on Robbins by throwing him into the ring. A low blow from Peaches, and Robbins is done. Dug the explanation of the betrayal, as Mr Hughes destroys the faces afterwards, and Styles mentions that his manager Jason must have paid Hotbody & Stetson off to allow the post-match sneak attack.

ECW Hardcore TV #33 23/11/1993

Kevin Sullivan vs Keith Scherer

Basically a violent mugging from Sullivan. He attacks the hapless Scherer before the bell, battering him with weapons outside the ring, then corner-charging him three times and hitting a double stomp for victory.

Tony Stetson & Johnny Hotbody vs JT Smith & the Sandman

Smith is still recovering from his injured knee that was exacerbated by Terry Funk, so Sandman is reluctant to tag him in. The heel team of Stetson and Hotbody are really solid here, tagging and double-teaming quickly as they work over the Sandman. Sandman gets the odd poor looking roll up, but the heels start to focus on his leg. JT manages to tag himself in, still limping, and I loved Hotbody locking on a spinning toehold to ape Smith’s former mentor. Sandman finds himself forced to tag back in, and the end sees a second attempt at a cane shot by Hunter Q Robbins (the first was no sold, probably by accident) give Hotbody and Stetson the win.

Mr Hughes vs Kyle Scherer

Apparently this is the twin brother of Keith from earlier in the show, but the cynic in me thinks this is just jobber recycling. Scherer has some exaggerated selling, throwing air punches after taking a big blow. Hughes dominates and pins with a sidewalk slam.

Tommy Cairo vs Chris Michaels

Worked as a face vs face match. We get the good and very bad of Tommy Cairo in this match, as he hits a nice running elbow in the corner on Michaels, but then a lot of sloppy moves – awkward missed clothesline, poor running dropkick. The less said about his Thesz Press, the better. Michaels looks far better in control, his execution is really crisp in comparison. However, two back suplexes give Cairo the win. Nothing bout.

ECW Hardcore TV #32 16/11/1993

Jim Neidhart vs The Sandman
I'm quickly learning that reviewing episodes of Hardcore TV in the weeks around a big show is largely a fool's errand. I've skipped episode #31 because it's literally all recap, and this episode consists of one original match from the November To Remember show. Don't be fooled into thinking they've given us a highlight of the show, either.

So this goes about 5 minutes, and there's really very little to it. Very early on, Neidhart goes down with an injury, and straight away Joey Styles is yelling "He's faking it, I think Jim Neidhart is playing possum", totally taking away any impact when Neidhart gets up and attacks Sandman. I did like Neidhart doing two star jumps (and no more) to show his leg is fine. Barely any time later, Sandman makes his comeback, they hit a double clothesline and we get a double pin. Fucking terrible.

ECW Hardcore TV #28 19/10/1993

Pat Tanaka & Paul Diamond vs the Public Enemy

Good solid tag team wrestling here. Nothing outstanding, but this is well worked, decent stuff. Tanaka looks great here, loved his kicks and sudden legsweep, and catching a Rock rana into a ditout powerbomb looked really good. A lot of the early stages feel like a Tanaka & Diamond showcase, but Public Enemy are solid when they get control, working over the knee of Diamond. Tanaka makes for a fine hot tag, loved the double superkick they hit before Grunge accidentally hits Rock during an O’Connor roll and Tanaka gets the pin. Fun stuff.

Jimmy Snuka vs Chad Austin

Austin is an average looking man in a pink singlet, and he gets treated accordingly. He bumps well for the slow paced beating Snuka inflicts on him. Genuinely can’t tell if the release powerbomb Snuka hits was intentional or just laziness. Slingshot suplex gets the win for Snuka.

Johnny Hotbody & Tony Stetson vs The Sandman & JT Smith

Given that three of these guys are the best wrestlers in ECW, it’s quite galling that this is the match that gets clipped. Plus, since we last saw them, Hotbody and Stetson are mysteriously tag champions. They look good as a unit, double-teaming nicely, and Stetson goes right after the injured leg of Smith. Dug his little tricks like grinding his knuckles into the knees of Smith. At this point, it clips and we come back to Stetson dropping  big leg onto Smith’s knee. Bizarrely, the heels just let Sandman tag in after all that work on Smith. The end is hokey, as Sandman gets backdropped onto Terry Funk at ringside and, as Sandman puts Hotbody in a sleeper, Funk comes in to hit Sandman with a chair, seemingly in affront at Sandman having the audacity to get thrown onto him. Really odd ending.

Tommy Dreamer vs Tazmaniac

Here’s a young, suspenders-wearing Tommy Dreamer making his ECW debut, as a Marcus Bagwell-esque pretty boy face. It’s Taz who brings the fun stuff to the match, hitting a big t-bone suplex, a nice powerslam and then reversing a suplex attempt into a big Northern Lights. Tommy takes a beating here for a crowd who don’t seem certain what to make of him, getting a chair broken over him and eating a big DDT on the floor. Tommy fires back, and Joey Styles massively telegraphs that he won’t win by guaranteeing he will, only for Taz to catch him on the top ropes with a big Northern Lights suplex from the top to win. Actually fun stuff here.

ECW Hardcore TV #26 05/10/1993

The Public Enemy vs Silver Jet & Gino Caruso

JIP match, and we’re definitely in proper ECW territory now. The arena is better lit now, with the crowd in the dark and the ring illuminated. Looks a lot better than the crappy “ECW” banner from the first few episodes. This is a largely sluggish beatdown by the Enemy, bar a few nice little spots. Silver Jet looks terrible in his camo trousers and black t-shirt. He’d be the most bush-league looking guy in a 2003 CZW student battle royal. Rock hits a nice quebrada, Grunge hits a reverse DDT and Rock finishes the Jet with a Swanton, admittedly getting good distance on it.

Sabu vs Tazmaniac

I am sure this was revolutionary in 1993, and the fans eat it up, but viewed through 2017 eyes…this is shit. There’s very little structure, just a bunch of spots which are hit with varying levels of success. I did think Taz showed some smarts when, after the table Sabu placed him on falls apart, Taz just gets up and suplexes Sabu through the remains. I was less impressed when Sabu elbowed him in the face and Tazmaniac sold it by climbing to the second rope to eat a top rope Frankensteiner. Taz hits a huge suplex that almost drops Sabu on his head. The transitions here are woeful, momentum just switching arbitrarily. Sabu picks up the win with a sloppy moonsault. Really disliked this.

The Sandman vs The Metal Maniac

This wasn’t any better. Sandman hits a nice high waistlock takedown early, and that’s probably the best part of the match. Maniac barely gets Sandman off the ground with an unbelievably shit side suplex. Sandman hits a top rope clothesline to win. Awful.

Terry Funk vs Jimmy Snuka

This is a cage match for the TV title, billed as “Funk’s Last Stand”. There’s bits of this that are good, and bits that are very poor. Funk sells like a champion early, as Snuka whips him into the corners, making a simple move looks vicious. He’s also the first to eat a faceful of cage. For two veterans, they both manage to make piledrivers look utterly ineffectual. Funk sells one by getting up 10 seconds later to prevent Snuka escaping a cage, and Styles helpfully points out that Funk is hitting headbutts just moments after taking a piledriver. Funk soon hits his own ineffectual piledriver. They base a lot of this match around headbutts, which isn’t particularly interesting, though Snuka is at least sensible enough to base a lot of his offence around trying to hurt Funk’s neck. The end feels pretty anticlimactic, as Funk just gets to the top of the cage, manages to knock down Snuka then hangs from the top of the cage before dropping to the floor to win. Even with the advanced age of Snuka, you’d expect better from these two. My opening claim of “Some of this is very good” doesn’t seem accurate now.

ECW Hardcore TV #22 07/09/1993

Stan Hansen vs Don E Allen & Herve Renesto

Allen and Renesto are billed here as Twisted Steel & Sex Appeal. They get utterly destroyed by Hansen, who doesn’t go easy on them. Short lariat on Allen gets the win.

The Headhunters & Freddy Krueger vs The Super Destroyers & Salvatore Bellomo

We’re joined in peril, because I guess time constraints meant we had to keep the opening ten minute skit with Eddie Gilbert’s increasingly terrible King of Philadelphia skit rather than show this in full. It makes total sense to fly in these WING guys to show a sub-five minute clip of their match. Liked the Headhunters doing some basic cheating, swapping over a chinlock on Bellomo behind the referee’s back, before we get a stupid ending. Super Destroyer #1 gets tagged in, and gets ganged up on by all three opponents….then Super Destroyer #2 joins in to make it 4-on-1. I mean, it’s good they’re continuing the storyline from the previous show, but why would SD1 still team with his partner after getting betrayed the previous week? It makes no sense.

JT Smith vs Masayoshi Motegi

This is for Motegi’s WING Jr Heavyweight title. Odd one this, I assume that neither party wanted their man doing the job, so we get a time limit draw that Motegi totally dominates from beginning to end. Smith is allowed the odd mat counter and I think one suplex, but the rest is just Motegi totally controlling him on the mat, locking in a nice Indian Deathlock and two STF’s. Motegi finally looks to have it won with a German suplex, and the time runs out. I guess the idea was it made Smith look tough hanging on despite being put in all manner of holds, but it just made it look like he couldn’t hang with this guy half the audience didn’t know.

Eddie Gilbert & the Dark Patriot vs Salvatore Bellomo & the Sandman

Two Bellomo matches on one show? These are blessed days indeed. Basically a team of two of the best guys in the promotion vs the two dirt worst. I like the irony, in hindsight, of Gilbert taking control of the Sandman by hitting him in the head with an empty can as a cheapshot. Dark Patriot bumps about for Sandman’s terrible offence, really putting in a good shift. We get another match cut off halfway through for a Abdullah the Butcher promo piece – this is the third main event in a row to suffer this fate, really stupid programming. Patriot looks good on offence when we return, and I dig the heels constantly distracting the ref in order to cheat. Sandman gets the hot tag and has some good energy, even if his missile dropkick is super sloppy. The heels finally get the win with a shot from Paul E Dangerously’s phone, and this was the best you’re going to get from Sandman and Bellomo at this point. Not terrible.

ECW Hardcore TV #21 31/08/1993

The Koloffs vs The Sandman & Sal Bellomo

Pity poor Ivan, having to sell being outwrestled by the bumbling duo of Bellomo and Sandman. Vladimir has looked actively good on these shows, really nice looking kneedrops and his overhead belly-to-belly on Sandman looks great. Sadly, Bellomo takes off his boot and nails Vlad behind the referees back to get the win.

The Super Destroyers vs Eddie Gilbert & the Dark Patriot

We’re joined in progress here, with one of the Destroyers just making the hot tag. The fresh Destroyer loads up his mask to headbutt Gilbert, but his partner turns on him, headbutting him from behind to give Gilbert the win.

The Headhunters vs Miguel Perez Jr & Mitsuhiro Matsunaga

This is a real change of pace from regular ECW stuff, and this is a real sign we’re heading into new territory for the promotion. This is a big brawl, with action spilling out of the ring right from the get-go. Lots of big spots here, with one Headhunter hitting a powerbomb on Matsunaga early on. Perez hits a superplex on a Headhunter, to a huge pop, and then a missile dropkick before nailing a plancha to the outside. This is really short, but all four guys get over in the time despite the terrible ending – one Headhunter nails a moonsault and big splash on Perez, while Matsunaga rolls up the other Headhunter for a double-pin. Cop out ending, but a really fun match.

Don Muraco & Shane Douglas vs Tito Santana & Stan Hansen

This is really promising, but the bizarre decision to cut the match with the faces in control, show a random video hyping Abdullah the Butcher, then cut back with the heels dominating, ruins the flow. Tito is fun as the face-in-peril, really good at working from underneath. The hot tag is made to Hansen, and the top rope breaks off almost straight away as Muraco runs the ropes. Sadly, the Dangerous Alliance runs in straight away, ending the match. Eddie Gilbert throws a fireball in Hansen’s face to end the episode.

ECW Hardcore TV #19 17/08/1993

Sharp eyes will notice we've skipped two episodes, the reason being that they were recap shows, and I'm not sitting through Glen Osbourne matches for a second time. This episode features two matches from the tag titles tournament, as the Suicide Blondes have been stripped of the belts.

The Koloffs vs The Headhunters

Really violent brawl to start this, spilling outside the ring. This is really short, though we do get enough time to see Vladimir hit a really impressive belly-to-belly on a ‘Hunter. It all breaks down again, ending in a double DQ. The Koloffs progress to the next round via coin toss.

Don Muraco vs the Metal Maniac

Maniac seems to get fed up on listening to Muraco on the mic as he jumps him during an interview. His advantage doesn’t last long, and Muraco actually seems fired up. Maybe it’s the prospect of facing someone in worse shape than him. Muraco hits a big powerslam and a piledriver, before finishing with a tombstone.

The Sandman & Sal Bellomo vs Richard Michaels & Tony Stetson

The face team is really a pairing of the two worst guys in ECW. The producers seem to know this, as we cut away 45 seconds in to see a video about Abdullah The Butcher. When we return, it feels like a heat section is just finishing on the faces. The end sees Sandman hitting a facebuster so bad that it isn’t obvious who is supposed to be hurt. Stetson sneaks in to replace Michaels behind the refs back, but Bellomo does the same to Sandman, and rolls up Stetson for the win. Barely anything to rate, but I’m not complaining.

Stan Hansen vs Jimmy Snuka

Hansen is a welcome addition to the show, and his wild presence seems to blow the cobwebs out from Snuka. Superfly seems more energised than he has in a long time. Another big brawl for the episode, as they exchange punches and weapon shots outside the ring. Hansen hits a DDT and a lariat to seemingly win, but Eddie Gilbert is in for the DQ ending. Still, looking forward to a few more Hansen appearances.

ECW Hardcore TV #16 27/07/1993

This is a REALLY tough episode of ECW to get through, starting with a long press conference with Tod Gordon, and with the majority of the episode dedicated to Eddie Gilbert's increasingly tiresome "King of Philadelphia" schtick, which culminates in a really embarrassing vignette at a wrestling show that seems to be filmed in someone's back garden. It makes ECW look so small-time, and it also means we only get two matches.

Terry Funk vs The Canadian Wolfman

No idea why the Wolfman, of all people, gets to fight Terry Funk this week, when he’s not appeared on the show since week #8. It’s not like he’s a guy who’s going to put on a good match with Funk either, as he’s a slovenly fat guy with awful tattoo’s who bumps awkwardly. He tries to get some control by gouging Terry’s eyes, but is soon put away with 3 slams and a spinning toe hold.

Johnny Hotbody vs The Sandman

Well, this is definitely the best Sandman match so far in ECW, and you can give full credit for that to Hotbody. His movement here is excellent, just adding little touches to ensure that he turns round at just the right time to take a move from the Sandman, and he takes a big bump face-first on the mat, as Sandman pulls him over the top rope from the floor. His diving elbow to the concrete floor earns what feels like a legitimate cry of shock from Paul Heyman on commentary. Sandman ends up victorious, as Hotbody tries a cocky bicep pose pin following a shot from Hunter Q Robbins’s cane, only to get rolled up for the pin. Still, a great performance from Hotbody.

ECW Hardcore TV #14 06/07/1993

Super Destroyers vs Richard Michaels & Johnny Hotbody

This has the added stipulation of the Destroyers putting their masks on the line vs the Suicide Blondes’ tag titles. The Destroyers control early doors, with one of them hitting a nice looking enzuigiri. Michaels hits a really shitty looking bulldog (looks like the Destroyer went down too late) to take over, and the energy really goes up when Hotbody gets in. I’m far from convinced that he’s a great wrestler or anything, but he always seems more motivated than the wrestlers around him. The ending here is terrible. A ref distraction allows Chris Candido to come out and swap places with Michaels (despite looking nothing alike – even down to the colour and length of their trunks), and this happens right in front of a Destroyer who does nothing. The other Destroyer rolls up Candido for an absurdly long cradle – the referee still being distracted – then when the ref turns round, he reapplies the cradle to Candido for the three count. So amateur.

Ivan Koloff vs The Sandman

I’m glad we live in a world where such an odd pairing happened. The early stages are spent on the mat, and are surprisingly not bad. Koloff is always one step ahead, but Sandman doesn’t look too bad. Sandman ups the tempo with a terrible crossbody. Koloff goes up top, but gets caught by the Sandman, who throws him off. Rockin’ Rebel comes out and hurls a green liquid in the eyes of Sandman’s manager, Peaches, but oddly this doesn’t play into the distraction finish. Instead, Sandman gets distracted by Vladimir Koloff on the opposite side of the ring and takes a weak knee to the back to give Ivan the win. This was a #1 contenders match, which is going to lead to a heel vs heel match with Koloff taking Muraco, assuming this goes ahead.

Dark Patriot, Eddie Gilbert & Don Muraco vs Glen Osbourne, Tommy Cairo & Larry Winters

The graphics announce an 8 man tag is coming next, but this is quite clearly only 6 men. We don’t exactly have the cream of the face workers in ECW here, but there is one great piece of schtick here, where the faces hold an armbar on Gilbert and swap places behind the refs back, infuriating Paul E Dangerously on commentary. Even better, Gilbert manages to tag Muraco, but because the ref was distracted by the faces, he doesn’t see it and refuses to let Muraco in. Nice, simple comedy spot. Also, Tommy Cairo hits a full-force shoulder block that looks terrific. As far as the heels go, the lazy offense or Muraco is really highlighted by how crisp the Dark Patriot is, as he finishes off Osbourne with a great diving shoulderblock for three.

Sal Bellomo vs Chris Candido

Hey, Bellomo hit a dropkick in the first few minutes here, might be the best looking thing he’s done in his ECW run. He then bites Candido’s arm to block a clothesline. He’s a like a hairy, shit Pete Dunne. The ref of the Blondes run in to cause a DQ, and we get a big brawl to close the show as the Super Destroyers make the save. In the melee, the Destroyers seemingly break Candido’s arm, which is the image we close the show on

ECW Hardcore TV #12 22/06/1993

Don Muraco vs Tommy Cairo

Man, this is probably Muraco’s worst performance in ECW to this point, and he really looks past his prime. He takes a stumbling slow motion bump off a Cairo crossbody and barely gets over on a backdrop. Cairo looks decent here, but he’s really facing a guy who’s just stumbling through the match. Amusing scene as a kid in a “We Can’t Dance” Genesis shirt steals Eddie Gilbert’s cap at ringside. The end is all sorts of terrible, as Cairo suplexes Muraco, but Muraco just rolls him over on the pin attempt and gets the three. Not even a hint of struggle from Cairo. Really odd ending that makes everyone look stupid.

JT Smith vs Dark Patriot

Patriot looks really good in the early stages, really solid execution of his moves with a nice punch and real snap to a back elbow. Smith isn’t very crisp, but he is very willing and looks like he’s putting some effort in. Still, his flying headscissors is sloppy and he barely glances Patriot with a moonsault for two. There’s a ref bump and the two battle to the commentary balcony. In an insane bump, Patriot knocks Smith to the floor a good 15-20 ft below and then dives off onto Smith. Patriot gets back in the ring and wins by countout. Nutso bump from both guys, and there are signs that things are getting a bit closer to the familiar ECW style

Rockin Rebel & Tony Stetson vs The Sandman & Larry Winters

The heel team are substantially better than the faces here, so it’s good that Rebel and Stetson control the majority of the bout. Stetson bumps about to make Winters’ floaty offence look good, despite there being so much air shown on a kneelift. Stetson’s offence isn’t flashy, but it at least looks effective and like it would actually cause pain. Sandman tags in and hits a dreadful DDT on Stetson before another crap ending (this episode is rife with them). Peaches gets on the apron to distract Rebel, openly slaps him in front of the ref and Sandman rolls him up to get the win following what feels like a REALLY fast count. Good match until the end.

The Suicide Blondes (Chris Candido, Johnny Hotbody & Richard Michaels) vs The Super Destroyers & Sal Bellomo

Surprisingly fun 6-man, due to more fun bumping and stooging by the Blondes. They make the basic offence of the Destroyers look deadly. Hotbody eats an ugly looking powerbomb from a Destroyer, but the Destroyers seem to want to beat up all three Blondes, and force the tag to Michaels. Michaels takes an amazing bump when he misses a top rope splash that gets insane height. Even Bellomo does the first cool thing I’ve seen from him in ECW, putting Hotbody in a figure-four legvine, then leaping down on his legs, which looks painful. The Blondes finally get control, but their cheating mean things quickly break down. In the melee, Paul E Dangerously gets involved to check on injured Blondes manager Hunter Q Robbins III, but gets levelled by a Destroyer. This lures out the Dangerous Alliance with weapons, and a big brawl kicks off to end the episode. 

ECW Hardcore TV #10 08/06/1993

Hawk vs Samoan Warrior & Don E Allen

Unsurprisingly, the debuting Hawk squashes the unimpressive pairing of Allen and Warrior. Big double-clothesline, powerslam and top-rope clothesline to Warrior, followed by press-slamming Allen onto his partner – easy win.

Battle Royal

This is to crown the Pennsylvania State Heavyweight title, a terrifically unimportant sounding belt. It’s basically everyone on the roster, bar the Dangerous Alliance. Sandman and Rockin’ Rebel eliminate each other straight away. Suicide Blondes show the most smarts by working as a team throughout, in direct contract with Larry Winters and Tony Stetson, who break up as a team following Winters’ elimination of his partner. Stetson lays out Winters, leading to his elimination at the hands of match-winner Tommy Cairo (though Winters does botch his elimination, leading to a re-do). Stetson then apologises outside the ring. With his apology finally accepted, he brilliantly then rams Winters into the ring post. Aside from this, the battle royal was pretty unremarkable.

Suicide Blondes vs Tommy Cairo & Glen Osbourne

Not much of a bout. Osbourne actually looks a lot better than usual here, mainly because he’s got the Blondes stooging and bumping around for him. Cairo has a nice belly-to-belly suplex that he lays out both Blondes with, but he gets hit by Hunter Q Robbins with a cane – RIGHT in front of the referee – and pinned for the win. Cairo and Osbourne should really be asking this ref what he was playing at. Match only existed as a backdrop for Robbins joining the Blondes as manager and the Super Destroyers turning face.

The Sandman vs Don Muraco

This is Sandman’s ECW title rematch. We’re JIP with a long Sandman headlock section. I’m a bit of a sucker for “face frustrates heel with long headlock” sections, but Muraco’s head threatens to slip lose at any moment, ruining the illusion. Muraco responds with a lengthy cheat-filled abdominal stretch, before Sandman is counted out on the outside when he tries to attack Paul E Dangerously and gets taken out by Muraco. Terrible stuff.

ECW Hardcore TV #9 01/06/1993

Super Destroyer #1 vs Sal Bellomo

If you thought a face turn might make Bellomo into a more interesting wrestler, you’d be wrong. He’s still letting rip with some terribly weak looking offence, and SD#1 seems more than happy to play along. Just nothing here looks like it may hurt, epitomised by Destroyer “wrenching Bellomo’s leg around the bottom rope”, where he’s just about holding onto it. Bellomo hits a truly appalling slam and a low-altitude splash, before Super Destroyer #2 comes in for the DQ.

Eddie Gilbert & Jimmy Snuka vs Tommy Cairo & Glen Osbourne

Gilbert takes Osbourne to the floor early, where they have a brawl in the crowd, which feels like the only way Gilbert can make Osbourne interesting. Keeps him from having to try to wrestle. I dug Gilbert going to the floor to escape Tommy Cairo, and then hugging Snuka in a cowardly moment for big heat from the crowd. Snuka controls Osbourne with some so-so offence, though Gilbert cheapshotting Glen with a can of soda looks good. Gilbert pins Cairo with a Hotshot following some Paul E Dangerously interference. Gilbert is the only guy here you’d actively call good, but this was inoffensive.

Max Thrasher vs JT Smith

This was odd on many levels. It starts with Thrasher downing Smith with 3 headbutts whilst wearing a hockey mask, before cutting to a special announcement. The announcement basically gives away loads of spoilers for the next few weeks, before coming back to the end of the bout: Thrasher getting caught by the ref trying a pin with his feet on the ropes, before Smith gets the win doing the same thing. So baffling.

Don Muraco vs The Sandman

This is for the ECW title, and it feels odd not seeing Sandman defend against Rockin’ Rebel. Sandman controls early with some basic offence, not crisply executed, but at least hit enthusiastically. Muraco turns the tide following a distraction, hitting a shitty second rope fistdrop and a surprisingly good backfist. Sandman reversing a tombstone looks pretty awkward, before we get a big clusterfuck finish, with Dangerously, Rockin’ Rebel and Peaches all getting involved. This hubbub allows Dangerously to nail Sandman with his phone, and there’s a new ECW champion. Not a bad bout, but utterly pedestrian.

3PW United We Stand, Divided We Brawl

Lovefilm obviously felt that it was too long since I reviewed any 3PW shows, so decided to send me one as my latest rental. Thanks guys (I think)

CJ O’Doyle vs Rob Eckos

Not really much to this, good or bad. It’s just perfectly ok wrestling. O’Doyle has a nice looking powerslam and Eckos’ superkick looked good enough to have won the match (though it only got 2). I enjoyed Eckos’ character work, posing after hitting an Alpine Line, then realising he could pin O’Doyle and rushing to try and get the pinfall. The end sees O’Doyle hit this clothesline that the commentary team have been hyping up (it’s just a clothesline), which only gets two, before Eckos hits a sloppy Alpine Line from the second rope for the pin.

Jack Victory vs Rockin’ Rebel

This was rubbish. As usual in 3PW, Rebel seems to get paired with someone so bad that the Rebel is the worker of the match. Both guys are working heel here too, and for some reason end up trying to double team the ref, only to both eat a double clothesline. This doesn’t earn a DQ however, and the bout continues with Victory not actually being able to Irish whip his opponent properly! How is that possible? Rebel tries a pin with his feet on the rope, but gets caught by the ref. Victory tries the same, and gets the three count. Afterwards, both guys beat up the ref. Just terrible.

Gary Wolfe vs Damian Adams

Apparently, this was set up Wolfe assaulted Adams, who had beaten him in a previous match. This explains why Adams attacks Wolfe as soon as he hits the ring, working a sustained assault, until a single Wolfe clothesline seems to basically kill him. Like, Wolfe picks him up for a suplex, and Adams is barely on his feet, arm dangling dead by his side. Believe me, the clotheslines certainly didn’t look that impressive. Adams is able to come back with a nice dive to the floor, before Wolfe hits 2 powerbombs in the ring (before the second powerbomb, the commentary team seem aghast that Wolfe is going to try a second powerbomb. “This is inhumane” is uttered, right before Adams kicks out on 2). A Burning Hammer gets the win, and the whole thing is less than four minutes long. Really odd booking, as Adams looked like a chump, despite apparently winning the last match.

There’s another match on the DVD listing, which is supposed to be a bra and panties match between Jasmin St Claire and Gorgeous George, which is basically just them stripping, kissing and spanking Velvet Sky over Tod Gordon’s knee. I’m just glad my fiancée didn’t come in while in was watching this nonsense. Moving swiftly on…

Low Ki vs Ruckus vs Joey Matthews

This is elimination rules, and that actually makes this a really enjoyable bout. The reason being, Joey Matthews wisely stays outside and allows Ruckus and Low Ki to wrestle, only entering when Low Ki has beaten Ruckus, essentially giving us two Low Ki singles bouts instead of the usual three-way nonsense.

Ki/Ruckus, in this situation, is like an appetiser, and is pretty fun in that respect. I enjoyed their little section on the mat, where Ruckus was surprisingly competent, and whilst both guys had some fun offense, Ki’s stuff just looked nastier, finishing Ruckus off with the Tidal Crush and a Ki Krusher.

Ki/Matthews was really good stuff, loved Matthews using the ref to block a Tidal Crush and poking Ki in the eye over the ref’s shoulder. Matthew’s offense is a bit nastier than Ruckus’, and Ki misses a corner charge to give Matthews a focal point to work on. Matthews may not be flashy, but you can tell he’s got a brain for wrestling, everything looks professional and shows no sign of breaking down. You can see why WWE would want him as the anchor for the MNM team. He also isn’t scared of Ki’s blows, taking a big kick right to the jaw. Ki’s rolling kick in the corner looks vicious, and I loved the fluidity of Matthews trying a reverse suplex and Ki quickly countering with a Dragon Clutch. Ki goes for the Ki Krusher, but his shoulder can’t support the weight, and Matthews reverses to a small package for the win. Loved this whole deal.

Monsta Mack & Mike Kruel vs Roadkill & the Blue Meanie

Thought Kruel looked excellent in this match, easily the standout. He schools Meanie on the mat, working a series of holds that actually made “Blue Meanie matwork” seem ok. The heels work a decent enough heat on Meanie, and I loved Mack standing in the middle of the ring, smugly posing to draw in Roadkill, whilst Kruel choked Meanie in the corner behind him. Kruel works over Meanie’s back, with some nasty kneedrops and painful looking forearms. Meanie’s comeback is pretty unexciting, as it consists of him in a Mack sleeper that he just casually escapes from and reverses. Roadkill doesn’t display a single emotion in this bout, even when a tag is disallowed because the ref didn’t see it. He’s equally inexpressive in the terrible finishing run – Roadkill brings out a chain, gets it taken away by the ref, so instead whips out a sock for a mandible claw. As the ref removes this, Mack clocks Roadkill with a chair. Hilariously, the ref definitely sees the chair in his hand, turning around to find Roadkill knocked out in the middle of the ring and Mack still holding a chair. Despite this, he seems happy enough to count the three. Sigh….at least Kruel was decent.

Matt Striker vs Jimmy Snuka

Striker comes out doing an excellent impression of Roddy Piper, you can tell he’s loving himself out there. Striker blindsides Snuka, and hits some weak offence, but gets caught with a REALLY soft backbreaker that puts him down for about 30 seconds and unable to avoid the Superfly Splash. This made Snuka’s 1993 ECW matches look like Iron Man matches.

Sabu vs Jerry Lynn

Sometimes, you just have to accept things aren’t for you. This was very much a case of two aging pros giving the crowd what they want, it just happens to be that I don’t enjoy what they like. Sabu injures his leg early on, which gets briefly worked over by Lynn, but has no impact on the rest of the match. This was really a bunch of spots loosely welded together. Some of those spots were pretty spectacular (Lynn hurling Sabu into rows of chairs and then diving in himself with a big crossbody was nuts) and some were pretty fun (Lynn getting up as Sabu tried the triple jump moonsault, causing Sabu to fall face-first into the chair). But there were no transitions to comebacks, no real sustained selling…just no glue to really hold it all together. As I said, the crowd loved it, so it did what it was supposed to. There’s one terrible spot right at the end, where Sabu is supposed to rana Lynn off the top through a table, but what actually happened is Sabu backflipped off, then a second or two passed before Lynn frontflipped himself onto a table, which didn’t break. A top rope Sabu legdrop got the job done.

Raven & the Sandman vs John Zandig & the Wifebeater

This….this was an utter mess. The basic gist is that 3PW commissioner Raven hates Sandman, taking away his Metallica entrance, his beer and smokes, but still orders him to be his tag partner for this bout. Seems like a partner you can rely on. Raven then accepts it when Zandig asks for a stipulation that he be put in charge if his team wins. For a supreme thinker, this seems like an idiotic request to accept.

So anyway, the bout starts with Sandman and Wifebeater working armdrag and hip toss exchanges. This lasts maybe a minute, before we get a punch-walk section, where they head to the balcony and the Raven/Sandman team throw Wifebeater off the balcony through a table. They return to Zandig, who’s somehow bleeding from the head and work a mild heat on him. After a while, Wifebeater returns and waits on the apron patiently to make a tag. Seems to me like the rules went out of the window when you got slammed off a balcony, mate. He gets in and works over Sandman…then somehow we end up with Sandman playing face-in-peril and Raven coming in as the fired up hot tag. The fuck is going on? Raven bulldogs Zandig through a table, but Sandman decides it’s time to DDT his partner and give the CZW boys the win. This is so Zandig can give him back his beer, fags and Metallica music….only the DVD doesn’t have the licensing for that, so we get a pissy muzak version of Enter Sandman dubbed in for 5 seconds, then the DVD abruptly goes to the credits. It wasn’t boring, I must admit, but certainly not what I would call “good” either.

ECW Hardcore TV #7 18/05/1993

Every week, it feels like the show is clawing it's way towards a somewhat watchable match, and this week we get two sorta-ok tag matches, which feel like manna from the Gods in this watching project. I keep seeing the thumbnail on the WWE Network where Stan Hansen makes an appearance and that feels like the only thing spurring me on to continue watching...

They actually start this broadcast by showing the previous week's tag title change in it's entirety. A match I wasn't planning on watching again and certainly not one I'm going to write about again. It's still not very good.

Jimmy Snuka & Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith & Max Thrasher

Another week, another match where Smith faces off against Gilbert. Liked the early going where the faces worked the arm of Gilbert – they may not have done it in an interesting fashion, but I loved how both Gilbert and (on the outside) Paul E Dangerously sold it as the most painful thing on earth. Also like Gilbert gaining control through the medium of a poke to the eye. The end is odd, as Thrasher accidentally drops an elbow on Smith whilst trying to break up a pinfall, then Smith accidentally knocks Thrasher off the apron trying to knee Gilbert. This causes Thrasher to turn on Smith, tripping him from the apron and leaving him prone for a Superfly Splash (literally, the only move Snuka does all match).

The Suicide Blondes vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

Non-title match here. This is four of the better guys in ECW at the time, so it’s no surprise that this is a perfectly functional tag team match. Nothing amazing, but certainly good enough. I enjoyed the opening quick teamwork by Winters and Stetson, and the Blondes also look good when they get control. They work a decent heat on Winters, but don’t wear him down enough before the Rocket Launcher, sending Candido down onto Winters knees. The champs hit stereo sunset flips on the Blondes for the three, with commentator Stevie Wonderful fucking up by yelling “They’ve beaten the champs”.

Don Muraco vs Glen Osbourne

Osbourne is really poor here, his armdrags are woeful and he hits an incredibly soft clothesline on Muraco. Muraco hits a stun gun and a one-armed tombstone to pick up a quick win in a bad bout.

The Sandman vs Rockin’ Rebel

Another match for Sandman’s ECW title, with their respective valets (Peaches and Tigra) banned from ringside. Rebel does a lot of stalling early on, making Sandman come to him. Every time Sandman builds momentum, Rebel rolls outside. Smart wrestling. Big difference in execution levels between the two, Sandman hitting crap dropkicks and almost falling over hitting a back elbow, whilst Rebel at least has a nice looking clothesline to drop Sandman. Yet another shitty ending between these two, as both men get knocked down and both valets come to ringside, get in a fight and the match is called off.

ECW Hardcore TV #6 11/05/1993

The Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

This is hair vs titles, with Tommy Cairo handcuffed to the Destroyers’ manager Hunter Q Robbins on the floor. It’s also no DQ, which Jay Sulli on commentary seems to keep forgetting. The opening stages where they brawl outside are actually pretty exciting, and the Destroyers actually look like big killers for a change. The camera cutting regularly to Cairo and Robbins makes the match harder to follow, but then it transpires there’s no real match structure anyway, so we’re not missing anything. No real heat worked on the faces, just guys getting in and out of the ring, and no transitions to offence, just guys deciding it’s their turn to go on the offensive. Winters has the wimpiest kicks to the head I’ve ever seen. Thankfully the end soon comes, as Robbins throws his cane into the ring (good job stopping that Tommy Cairo!) and Stetson intercepts it and crowns a Destroyer for the title

Jimmy Snuka & Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith & Max Thrasher

The formatting of this show continues to suck, as they book two tag matches back to back. There’s bits of this that are good: Gilbert continues to impress and has some nice offence, and I dug this cool reverse slam Smith did. The rest is pretty meh, with Thrasher’s sole contribution being to tag in, eat a Gilbert backbreaker and a Superfly splash for the loss.

Sal Bellomo vs The Canadian Wolfman

Wolfman is just an obese bald man with regrettable tattoos in jeans. He’s utterly terrible, starting the match by just looking at Bellomo, who just wanders up and punches him. He also can even take a snapmere bump, which is unfortunate as Bellomo seems to want to use quite a few. Bellomo splash finishes this quickly.

Jonathan Hotbody vs Tommy Cairo

This is a lumberjack match, and is probably match of the show. I liked Hotbody’s continued attempts to cower away from Cairo, despite the match stipulation, and especially how his partner Chris Candido was complicit in that, trying to provide him shelter outside the ring. There’s a nice bump when Hotbody throws Cairo to the floor and the Cairo/Robbins story from the start of the episode is paid off when it’s a Robbins cane shot that provides the knockout blow to put Cairo out. Call this a mild win.

The Sandman & Miss Peaches vs Rockin' Rebel & Tigra
This doesn't even get a finish. The main story is that Tigra wont tag in, forcing Rebel to wrestle all the match. This means he has to take Sandman's terrible looking offence. Honestly, becoming drunken hardcore Sandman gave him a career, because surfer Sandman is just a mess of sloppy looking spots and weak offence - his grazing dropkick here being a case in point. Rebel does take a big bump over the top to the floor to become the worker of the match. Tigra and Peaches finally get in...and the show ends just as they hook up. Excellent work lads.

ECW Hardcore TV #5 04/05/193

Eddie Gilbert & Don Muraco vs JT Smith & Glen Osbourne

Gilbert really feels like a breath of fresh air in these shows, as his execution is far crisper and his movement far better than anyone else in the promotion. Liked a few bits from Muraco here, his slingshot of Smith that sends Smith throat-first into the bottom rope is pretty good. Hotstuff International target Smith’s head and throat, with a neckbreaker and a loaded thumb to the throat from Muraco. Osbourne is tagged in to no reaction, and hits an admittedly sweet tombstone to Gilbert, but a debuting Paul E Dangerously clubs him with his phone and Gilbert picks up the pin. This wasn’t too bad.

Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

The more I watch of Stetson and Winters, the more pronounced the gulf in ability becomes. Winters looks pretty poor here, stumbling over when trying to hiptoss a Destroyer, whereas Stetson has some nice touches. Dug the thrust headbutt to the Destroyer’s arm to continue his team’s basic armwork, and he gets nice height on a flying forearm. The Destroyers work a dull heat segment on Winters, including some truly terrible chokes, where the Destroyer waggles his elbow about in an unconvincing attempt to make it look like he’s adding more pressure. Stetson is tagged in, but gets caught with a loaded punch when trying a back suplex, giving the Destroyers the pin.

The Sandman vs Sal Bellomo

This was terrible. Bellomo is a terrible offensive wrestler, all chokes and wimpy looking stomps. Sandman here has an odd habit of trying roll ups that only manage to send Bellomo into the ropes. Bellomo locks in a terrible submission, where I honestly thought he was trying a sloppy pinfall. Sandman only looks mildly inconvenienced. The end is a special type of dreadful, as Sandman clotheslines Bellomo from the ring, and Sal decides to wander about talking to the crowd and gets counted out. An absolutely abysmal match.

Rockin’ Rebel vs Ernesto Benefico

Very quick squash. Liked the cockiness of Rebel taking Benefico’s legs out and casually slapping his face. Big elbow drop, powerslam and a spinebuster wins it for the Rebel

Johnny Hotbody vs Tommy Cairo

This is billed as a grudge match, so of course they give it less than 5 minutes. Hotbody looks really good in places here, and then absolutely shocking. Loved how he stumbled into Cairo armdrags, made it look really natural as if he was being caught unawares. He also hits a lovely diving elbow from the ring apron to the floor. But then, there’s his superplex. Honestly, it takes so long to get into place that it feels almost inevitable that Cairo will reverse it. They go for the move and it looks like Cairo has reversed to a top rope spinebuster, but no! The commentary, and Cairo’s selling, tells us that Hotbody did indeed hit his superplex. Absolutely dreadful. Cairo rolls up Hotbody, ramming his head into an interfering Chris Candido, and gets the win.

ECW Hardcore TV #4 27/04/1993

The Super Destroyers vs Tony Stetson & Larry Winters

The Super Destroyers are supposed to be the monster heels of the tag division, so seeing them selling for the weak offence of the face team is really off-putting. Lots of hiptosses and armdrags to seemingly send these big lads all over the place. We get a bit of heat on Stetson, but his hot tag out sees no reaction from the crowd. Winters hits a nice kneelift and locks in a figure four, but the other Destroyer brings in a cane from manager Hunter Q Robbins III, and we get a DQ. Bad start

The Suicide Blondes vs JT Smith & Tommy Cairo

The Blondes are Johnny Hotbody and Chris Candido. Cairo is a really frustrating character to watch – he can hit some really nice offence, like the swank back suplex he hits in this match, but he seems mentally unable to put together a good match. Here, he does dumb stuff like hold a headlock on Hotbody whilst watching Candido come over and just punch him in the face. He also hits really odd looking armdrags. Loved the diving elbow from the apron to the concrete by Hotbody, looked like a rough landing. Candido was also great here, and the Blondes stooged nicely for some of Cairo’s power offence. The end sees Smith hit a moonsault on Candido, but Hotbody comes off the top rope to the back of Smith’s head to give Candido the easy pin. Not terrible.

Jimmy Snuka & Don Muraco vs The Hellriders

Third tag bout in a row. Muraco wasn’t in great shape here, looked pretty old and fat. Nothingabout this match felt competitive, no sense of struggle from any combatant. Muraco seems to stumble on a discus clothesline attempt, and when he misses a corner charge to allow the tag for the Hellriders, he doesn’t bother with any selling. Muraco hits a tombstone and elevates Snuka onto a Hellrider for the win. Pretty lame.

The Sandman vs Rockin’ Rebel

The only single bout on the show, the only match with back story and a bout for the ECW title…is the only match joined in progress. So stupid. Rebel dominates with some really good clotheslines, including one which belted Sandman in the chin. Sandman takes over with some knees in the corner and a shit facebuster, before Rebel’s manager Tigra gets involved to draw the DQ. Unbelievable waste of time.

ECW Hardcore TV #2

Glenn Osbourne vs Johnny Hotbody

I’d only seen Osbourne once before in 1999 CZW, where he’s a lot chunkier. This was basic, competent stuff, but I did enjoy a few things Hotbody did. Nice sequence where he avoided a shoulder charge and hit a fluid German suplex right away. Also enjoyed his flying shoulder tackle off the apron. The end sees a ref bump, followed by Hotbody lowblowing Osbourne and nailing a piledriver. For some reason, Hotbody decides to do a superplex, but gets distracted by an arriving Tommy Cairo and gets knocked down, which Osbourne follows with a shitty splash for 3.

Larry Winters & Tony Stetson vs Chris Michaels & Samoan Warrior

This was competently worked, but featured moments of terrible nonsense. Michaels worked most of the match as an overconfident stooge, which was pretty fun. I quite enjoyed some of the double teaming by Stetson and Winters that was quite fluid. A few baffling moments though – at one point Michaels is running the ropes and for no reason decides to skin the cat, whereupon he turns into a clothesline as his opponent had just been standing there waiting. The end was also a bit off – Samoan Warrior is in the match for maybe 30 seconds, gets hurled out and the faces throw Michaels back into the ring. Despite being very much the illegal man who had been brought back in against his will, Michaels gets taken out with a Death Sentence for the win.

The Sandman vs the Kodiak Bear

Ha ha, this was ridiculous. Seeing Sandman in his original gimmick of happy surfer is obviously hilarious, and his opponent looks like a hobo John Tenta. This was shit, as Kodiak Bear seems barely able to bump. Lots of very, very basic offence here, with Sandman going for armwringers and roll ups. Sandman hits a terrible missile dropkick and a worse slingshot shoulderblock, before locking in a Million Dollar Dream for the win.

Eddie Gilbert vs JT Smith

This starts at a much brisker pace than the rest of the show, as Gilbert rushes Smith sending him outside and brawling in the crowd. There’s a great camera shot where you see these two just disappearing into the darkness to fight. Loved the sleight of hand as Gilbert manages to crack Smith with the ring bell right behind the ref’s back. Smith makes a comeback, but misses a moonsault. The end sees Smith try a back suplex, but gets levelled with a loaded punch, Gilbert landing on top for the win. Best match on ECW so far.

Tommy Cairo vs Super Ninja

The Gilbert match would have been the perfect way to finish, but we instead get this JIP Cairo match. Very short, Cairo looks decent here with some nice fire, and I dug the ending as Ninja tried a splash in the corner, only to get caught and planted with a back suplex match for the win.