WWE No Mercy 2007

I'd never watched this show before, but the recent announcement of the returning Punjabi Prison match made me realise I'd never actually seen one before. So, hoping to use the hype for the returning match to pad up the reading figures for this blog, I decided to give it a watch. No-one warned me about THREE Triple H matches though...

Triple H vs Randy Orton

Right, I don’t want to get onto a “slagging Triple H” off thread right at the start of the show, but there are a select band of wrestlers I’d be happy to see wrestle three times in one night and HHH is not one of those guys. The challenge is to have three interesting matches on the night, and unfortunately you suspect he must have been saving the interesting stuff for later in the night. Honestly, if I told you to close your eyes and imagine a 10 minute HHH/Orton match, you’d almost certainly picture this match move-for-move. There are a few positives: I liked the big clothesline and double-sledge to the back of the head that HHH hit, Orton had great timing kicking the ropes into HHH’s crotch before hitting the draping DDT and HHH locking in a figure-four after Orton misses a kneedrop is a logical move. Also, the ending was a nice change – no finishers, Triple H gets the pin from a roll-up after Orton missed a corner charge.

Jeff Hardy, Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs Mr Kennedy, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch

This is billed as a bonus match, and it’s a nice little 8 minute match. Wisely, they largely leave Kennedy out of this, only really featuring at the end. Murdoch seems especially inspired here, really liked him countering Hardy’s sitdown jawbuster by simply not going down with him and instead booting Hardy in the face. Kendrick becomes face-in-peril after Murdoch opens up the ropes, sending Kendrick tumbling to the floor. The heat on Kendrick is brief due to the match length, but he hits a wild leaping DDT on Cade to make the hot tag. Hardy basically dumps Murdoch on his head with a gourdbuster, and everything breaks down, leaving Kennedy and London in the ring. Kennedy takes the win with the leaping Finlay roll. Good little sprint here.

CM Punk vs Big Daddy V

Nonsensical stuff here. V looks great dominating Punk to start, smothering him on the mat and wailing away with crossfaces. When Punk does escape, he’s quicker getting up so can hit V in the head with some (admittedly crap) kicks to the head…and so Matt Striker leaps in to beat him down for the DQ. This costs his charge the ECW title, doesn’t make any sense. Waste of time match.

Triple H vs Umaga

Because Vince is a bastard, he puts HHH into another match to defend his title. This is a lot better than the opener, they keep it brief and actually tell a decent story. An early HHH DDT looks like shit, with Umaga falling to his knees with his head nowhere near the mat. Umaga hits HHH in the ribs with a thrust kick, and from that point on has a focal point. A Samoan Drop and a series of big strikes highlight this plan, and HHH does a nice job of selling the damage. Umaga locks in a bearhug, continuing the focus, though I’m not a fan of HHH using an eyerake to escape when he’s a face. The end doesn’t hurt Umaga either, as HHH takes advantage of one mistake – a missed corner charge – and quickly hits the Pedigree to retain. This was a fine little match.

Finlay vs Rey Mysterio

When you’ve got two guys who were pretty much the best in the world at the time facing each other, you go in with pretty high hopes. I’d say that these hopes weren’t fully met, but that’s due to the booking rather than the performances of both men. Love Rey’s fluidity early on. It’s not just that his spots look impressive, but also that everything flows in a way that makes sense, each move follows on logically from the one he’s just hit. For example, he hits a slingshot dropkick into the ring on a sat-down Finlay, which positions him perfectly to hit a slingshot splash. Finlay takes over in a lovely way, avoiding a Rey sunset flip powerbomb to the floor by grabbing the ring apron and pulling it up over Rey’s head to pummel him. From there, Finlay slides Rey shoulder first into the ringpost, and from there works over the shoulder. Loved him stopping Rey’s momentum on a flying headscissors to turn it into a shoulderbreaker. Mysterio’s comeback is really nicely done and he kind of peppers Finlay with offence until Finlay tumbles backwards from the ring apron with a sickening thud. This ends up being the end of the match, with the referee throwing up an X for the match stoppage. They really blow the end though, as Finlay is faking the injury to jump Mysterio, and the camera zooms in on Finlay’s face to show this. Even odder, Cole acknowledges the faking, but then continues to pretend Finlay is actually injured, thus blowing all the suspense. Unsurprisingly, Finlay jumps off his stretcher and attacks Rey. Match was really good until the hokey ending.

Candice Michelle vs Beth Phoenix

This is really interesting, as the match itself is very much not good, but there are some really good bits mixed in. Candice, for example, hits really shit kicks and can barely run the ropes, but she pulls off this cool little roll-up and works a nice short-arm scissors. Michelle also hits a decent crossbody. Phoenix is really good at working the size difference, but the match is a bit too clunky and they both seem a bit lost in between moves. Phoenix wins with a cradle suplex.

Batista vs The Great Khali

So, the rules of the Punjabi Prison match are that there are two big cages, with the inner cage attached to the ring. Each side of the ring has a door that can only be opened once and is padlocked after 1 minute. If all four doors get padlocked, you have to climb out. The winner is the guy who successfully escapes both the inner and outer cage.

This isn’t a match you’d technically call “good”, but it’s an enjoyable spectacle for the most part. The limits on the door opening times are, I assume, designed to add some psychology as you can’t just open doors willy-nilly, but Khali pretty much blows that by calling for the first door less than a minute in. Batista pretty much bumps around like a loon for Khali here, and this may be what carries the match. There’s a nice tease of the Batista Bomb when Khali tries a ten count in the corner, and the spinebuster Batista hits on Khali looks good. Less good is Khali attempting to crush Batista under the weight of the final cage door when he realises that they aren’t going to be able to walk out – it looks really terrible despite Batista doing his best to make it look painful. Batista takes a huge bump from the cage when they both try climbing out, which gives Khali a huge lead, and this means that Batista also has to take the biggest risk by leaping from the top of the inner cage to the outer, which would have been a nasty bump if he’d missed. Luckily, he makes it and touches down first to win this fun, but nonsensical, match.

Triple H vs Randy Orton

This is, thankfully, the final HHH bout of the night and is a last man standing match. Orton goes right after HHH’s injured ribs to start. Really nicely done too, he’d hit a rib, then take advantage of HHH recoiling to blast him in the face a few times. Then, when HHH would start to cover his face, back to the ribs again. Orton continues the rib work with a backsuplex on the barrier, then brilliantly locking in a bodyscissors on the ribs whilst choking HHH with a cable. Nice spot. Orton shows great poise here, standing by passively whilst the ref counts, but as soon as HHH even moves an arm, he changes stance, getting ready to strike. HHH gets his moments to shine as he throws Orton through a table on a missed RKO and then hits a spinebuster on the floor for a close call. They start hitting bigger and bigger shots that should really finish it, considering both guys had barely been making an 8 count earlier. The RKO on the open chair would have been an acceptable finisher, and it does start to get towards overkill by the end. HHH hitting a chairshot with Orton’s head held in the “V” of the ringsteps looks shit, as he’s obviously not hit him. Eventually, Orton hits the RKO on the announce table to finish it. This was actually a pretty good match for the most part, but honestly you could have put anyone in the HHH role, as Orton’s character work and match timing were spot on here.

WWE Payback 2013

Wade Barrett vs The Miz vs Curtis Axel

This is a triple threat for Barrett’s IC title. Never a big fan of triple threats, but there were a few bits of this that I liked as clever touches. Barrett is always looking over his shoulder, trying to be aware of where the third man is whilst attacking someone, and I like that the importance of Paul Heyman as Axel’s manager is put over by how he’ll constantly tell Axel to take his time on the outside, to pick his spots. Axel is definitely the crowd favourite here, though the portion with just him and Miz in the ring is nothing to write home about. Not bad, but nothing particularly compelling either. Barrett is the guy who feels like he’s bringing energy to the match. Axel gets a huge pop for a Perfect-Plex on Barrett (especially considering its Father’s Day), and the Miz gets booed for breaking up the pin. The ending sequence is pretty hot, and I loved the ending, with Miz putting Barrett in the figure four, only for Axel to sneak in and pin Barrett whilst Miz’s leg are still locked up. Lovely post-match look to the sky by Axel too.

Kaitlyn vs AJ Lee

The backstory to this involved AJ Lee setting up Big E as a fake secret admirer for Kaitlyn and humiliating her, so Kaitlyn is on fire to start, hurling AJ over the Spanish announce table in a hella bump. Aside from that, Kaitlyn isn’t great at expressing her intense hatred. Feels a bit stilted. Kaitlyn is still more powerful than AJ though, so things like her big clothesline and rolling through a crucifix to drop AJ with a stomach buster still look great. Also dug AJ’s chained rolling neckbreakers. Kaitlyn seems to have won the match with a spear, but wastes time blowing a sarcastic kiss at AJ, so only gets 2. Shortly after, Lee locks in the Black Widow to get the tap. This was fine.

Dean Ambrose vs Kane

This is for Ambrose’s US title. I’ve said it before, but I really miss THIS Ambrose. He’s wily, looking for openings, realising he’s not as strong as Kane and therefore trying to pick the right moment to strike. He kind of wrestles around Kane here, taking out his legs with a dropkick and slowly trying to break him down. There’s a nice moment where Dean gets a bit cocky, and tries for Old School on Kane, but he gets countered. This is actually pretty fun for a 2013 Kane singles match…then it ends abruptly, with Dean hitting (what we now call) Dirty Deeds on the floor for the count out win. I appreciate how it makes Dean look a bit cheap and weasely, but it’s a disappointing end to a surprisingly fine bout.

Alberto Del Rio vs Dolph Ziggler

So here we have, in my opinion, the greatest example of a badass, Walking Tall, babyface performance in modern WWE history. A face who, having had his property stolen by a coward who attacked him at his weakest (on one leg after a match with Jack Swagger), came to this match to wreck a singular vengeance on an unworthy champion. Here, Alberto Del Rio was the hero we didn’t deserve (especially those in the crowd who booed him, siding instead with a weak charlatan), but he was the hero we needed.

At the onset of the match, Ziggler is smug, confident, slipping out of the ring and swaggering around the ringside area. When he’s in the ring, he cheapshots Del Rio on a break, but his arrogance backfires as he misses a corner charge and instead takes a big back elbow to the face. This triggers Ziggler’s concussion, an injury which had put him out of action for a few weeks, and Del Rio is happy to repay Ziggler for the cheap shot that cost him the title in the first place. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Del Rio zeroes in on this in an aggressive fashion, cracking Ziggler’s skull with a nasty kick as he tries to enter the ring. Del Rio uses his smarts to get Big E ejected from ringside, trying to create the fair playing field that Ziggler is obviously too scared to want. This match layout means Ziggler spends most of it on defence, and that’s probably for the best, as when he does go on the offensive he hits an impossibly sloppy fameasser. His sleeperhold does look good, coiling around Del Rio and acting as a metaphor for the snake that Ziggler is. Credit where it’s due, Ziggler’s selling is phenomenal here, and the story of the match means he isn’t able to just rebound to his feet to hit his next move. Del Rio hits beautiful kidney shots with Ziggler tied in the ropes, which leads logically to a backstabber. Ziggler tries to make a few desperation comebacks, but an absolutely brutal kick from the apron cracks like a gunshot throughout the arena, vibrating off Ziggler’s head. Ziggler hits a final desperation zig zag, but it’s so weak a move that Del Rio is actually back on his feet first, and he fires a superkick at a kneeling Ziggler’s head to put the wretched champion out of his misery. An expertly crafted match, and though the crowd transferred their affection to Del Rio to Ziggler, for the virtuous among us, Del Rio brought no-nonsense justice to the world of wrestling.

CM Punk vs Chris Jericho

Punk is in his “tattooed Bradley Wiggins” phase here. This is Punk’s first match back since losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and is in Chicago, so he gets a monster pop. You know how much Chicago crowds love chanting for Punk when they know he isn’t there? Just imagine how much they chant for him when he IS there. Sadly, this match is pretty terrible. The commentary team bring up how Punk might have ring rust after his time off, and I don’t know if that was something Punk was trying to play up or not, but he was terribly sloppy here. He stumbles about trying to apply an early armbar, he kind of ambles when being Irish whipped into a corner and he stumbles again trying to apply a neckbreaker. Jericho looks much crisper, though he isn’t without his flaws with some of his punches looking utterly shambolic. There’s a really nice sequence where Punk hits his corner knee, takes too long showing off and gets his bulldog reversed, followed by a Lionsault and swift cover by Jericho for two. Jericho also hits a great codebreaker to counter an attempted springboard clothesline by Punk. It’s just a shame there are too many awkward spots like Jericho trying to apply the Walls of Jericho, and bending really far down for seemingly no reason other than to let Punk clumsily pull himself up and lock in an Anaconda Vice. The end was pretty neat, with Punk hitting the GTS, which sends Jericho into the turnbuckle and bouncing back into another GTS for the win, but overall this was poor.

Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins vs Randy Orton & Daniel Bryan

Orton and Bryan are mismatched tag partner who’ve got a shaky mutual respect, which makes the tag champ Shield members the favourites. Reigns and Bryan is already a great match up at this point, loved Reigns flooring Bryan with a huge kneelift, needs to bring that back. Reigns sells the fuck out of Bryan’s kick flurry too. Orton looks great when he tags in, hitting everything so crisply, and the transition to the Shield offence looks so natural: Orton reaches through the ropes to grab Rollins and gets nailed by a Superman punch from nowhere. Rollins had a few nice moments in the match, loved Orton starting to make a comeback and Rollins hitting a standing enzuigiri to stop that momentum dead. Orton makes the hot tag after exploder suplexing Rollins into Reigns in the corner (a little too far away, Rollins had to kind of awkwardly headbutt Reigns in the arse) leading to a great Bryan hot tag run. However, Reigns pushes Rollins away from the suicide dive and Bryan wipes out Orton instead. This leads to a red hot ending, as Orton accidentally pushes Bryan into a Reigns spear, then takes Reigns out with an RKO, only for Rollins to shove him out and Curb Stomp a still groggy Bryan for the win. Good little tag sprint, with nice execution and a fun underlying story.

John Cena vs Ryback

This is 3 stages of Hell: lumberjack match, tables match and an ambulance match. This felt like an interesting challenge for Cena: partly because Ryback was unproven as a big match singles worker, partly because they’d have to work 3 different matches and partly because of our knowledge that, obviously, neither guy is going to win the first two stages consecutively, so they need to work harder to make the second stage interesting. Overall, I’d say it’s just about a win.

So the lumberjack match was pretty fun. Interesting to see who was at ringside – Ted DiBiase and Alex Riley (in his own t-shirt! I bet they didn’t sell many of those) stand out as long forgotten roster members. They both threw some big power moves at each other early doors, and Ryback seemed to enjoy throwing Cena out to the hostile lumberjacks, with Cena taking some big bumps to the floor. Loved Ryback pressing Cena onto one side of lumberjacks, but he showed his naivety when Cena throws him out, and he decides to start a fight with the surrounding mass. It led to a big schmozz which ends with Cena diving from the top rope onto the heaving mass of bodies. Really great visual. They re-enter the ring, where Ryback counters an STF by powering up into Shellshocked for three.

With Cena 1-0 down, he was always going to win the tables match. Ryback doesn’t really give the impression that he’s going to win this, as his tactic seems to be to put Cena through tables by hurling the ring steps at him, which always breaks the tables when Cena ducks. Even if I was foolish enough to believe Ryback was going to win two straight falls, I wouldn’t believe he was going to do it by blitzing Cena with a thrown staircase to the face. Ryback also doesn’t seem to take it Cena in this fall, maybe putting over his overconfidence at being a fall up. Inevitably, Cena escapes Shellshocked to hit the AA through a table to even it up.

The ambulance match finishes things off, and I liked Ryback’s tactic of battering Cena, powerbombing him through the announce table, before the match started, and then carrying Cena’s prone body up the aisle to the vehicle. Good logic, and it also meant we avoided the two unnaturally fighting their way to the entrance way. Cena recovers and we get a fun weapons brawl built around the ambulance. Cena whips Ryback into an open door, ripping it from the hinges, before Ryback rips some bodywork off to use as a weapon on Cena. The ending requires both guys to be on the roof, so I appreciated Cena climbing to the top and ripping the flashing lights off the top to use as a weapon, makes the ending look a bit more organic rather than them climbing to the top just because that’s where they need to be. Of course, when both guys seem hesitant to climb onto the roof, you know what’s up and, yep, Cena hits the AA to send Ryback crashing through the roof to win. Not very much of this lagged, despite containing three bouts, and this is an overall success.

CHIKARA The Renaissance Dawns 2002

Just before Christmas, I decided to invest in a CHIKARAtopia subscription, which at approx. £5 felt like a good investment. I wasn't sure where to begin with CHIKARA, so I've gone all the way back to the first event. Seems a logical starting point. There's fun retrospective commentary from Mike Quackenbush and Bryce Remsberg to go with the matches.

Mr Zero vs Dragonfly

Mr Zero isn’t wearing the mask he’d become better known for wearing, which Quackenbush explains on commentary: apparently Zero had ordered his mask, but it didn’t arrive in time, forcing him to improvise from a local costume shop. This is the first match for both guys, and it’s pretty decent considering. They work some basic, competent mat stuff to start, before Zero turns it up a bit with a big clothesline in the corner. Zero works in some of his character-based comedy early, reading the business pages with Dragonfly locked in a camel clutch, then taking frequent gulps of coffee. Zero takes a posting on the outside of the ring, and Dragonfly takes control with some beginners-level high flying. I did like him neck-snapping Zero over the top rope from a tornado DDT position, and he hit a nice tilt-a-whirl DDT. Zero comes back with a huge German suplex and a Michinoku Driver variation for the win.

Marshal Law & Lovebug vs Hallowicked & Ichabod Slayne

Law is that oddly American kind of fat where he has no noticeable neck. Law and Bug are the faces, and they dominate early with two successive stereo atomic drops. The heels soon get Lovebug as their face in peril, and work him over well. Lovebug is able to hit a cutter to break this momentum and tag in Law, who introduces himself with a big shoulderbreaker. The comeback is short lived for the faces, as he takes a big flat back bump to the floor from the apron off a neck snap, which looked nasty. The heels wisely focus on his back with a series of kicks. Law is now face in peril, and Hallowicked hits a Burning Hammer on his partner onto Law, which gets a 2. All four guys end up in the ring, and the faces hit a 2^nd rope Hart Attack on Slayne, which Lovebug smoothly transitions into a reverse crab for the tapout win. This was decent enough.

Kid Kruel vs Zane Madrox

Kruel became better known for his spell in WWE developmental as Mike Kruel, and you can see why they might pick him up – he’s in very good shape, yet surprisingly agile for his size. Madrox is an odd looking character, tall but with a vacant look on his face, and Quackenbush says that he just stopped turning up for shows he was booked on. Madrox hits a nice spinebuster and splash early, but does look a bit lost on occasion. Kruel takes control of the match, and works Madrox over nicely by focusing on the shoulder. Madrox is hyped up on commentary as being surprisingly powerful, which he proves with a gutwrench suplex followed by a double powerbomb. Madrox is on a decent run of offence, but stops to eats some crisps outside the ring. He offers some to Kruel, who swiftly locks in a cross-armbreaker for the tap victory. Odd ending to a good match.

Blind Rage vs Ultramantis

This is before Ultramantis added the “Black” to his name. Rage is apparently more experienced, and he takes control with a slick series of moves, which Ultramantis does well to keep up with. Rage hits three quick flip sentons for a 2 count. Loved him casually arguing with the ref to distract from him choking Ultramantis with his shin bone. Rage hits a big backbreaker and holds Ultramantis over his leg, which I always love. Quackenbush highlights how Ultramantis used to use a lot of butterfly moves, to go with his whole “insect” theme, which is quickly proven with a butterfly praying mantis bomb for 2. Rage comes back with a Niagra Driver and a Gory Bomb for the win. Really fun match, Rage in particular looked good.

Mike Quackenbush, Reckless Youth & Don Montoya vs Chris Hero, CM Punk & Colt Cabana

The main event noticeably features 6 guys with more experience than the rest of the card. This was so fast-paced and endlessly entertaining, with all six guys working seamlessly together. We get some initial matwork with Quack pairing off with Hero, Colt with Reckless and Punk with Montoya. I chuckled at Montoya being too heavy for Punk to try and take over with a fireman’s carry, and it’s followed by a spot where Punk uses Montoya as a surfboard, only for the much bigger Montoya to return the favour moments later. Quack takes a huge dive to the floor to signal that things are about to pick up. Punk works well as a sneaky heel, with eye pokes and quick escapes from the ring to evade Montoya, but when he gets caught, Don chops the shit out of him. The heels work a fun heat section on Montoya, who tries making a comeback by pulling Punk’s shorts down and hitting a big DDT. A fun 6-person submission spot follows as things start to break down and get out of control. Colt hits a nasty looking Colt 45 on Youth, but the pin is broken up at 2. Youth responds by hitting a tornado DDT from the apron to the floor, which must have hurt. A big tope by Montoya, which he’d teased earlier, wipes out Hero and Punk. Quack nails a reverse rana on Colt and Reckless finishes it off with a 2K2 Bomb for the win. Super fun spotfest, which the crowd ate up.

WWE Battleground 2013

Alberto Del Rio vs Rob Van Dam
Man, RVD and Ricardo really aren't a combination that works well together. RVD starts well with a moonsault and a DDT onto a chair in opening 3 mins. Love Del Rio's aggression, with a nasty boot to RVD's face. Since turning back heel again, Del Rio's viciousness has been a joy to behold. Here, he also takes some nutty bumps to make RVD look better, hurling himself into a ladder, then to the floor. RVD's bump when Del Rio kicks him in the head with the ladder landing on him is a bit milkier. There is something a little sad about Jerry Lawler claiming you'd need a clairvoyant to guess what RVD will do next, when he's pretty much just running through his usual spots, only with a ladder involved. This does lead to a nice bump, as RVD misses Rolling Thunder onto a ladder. Ricardo, being the little shit he is, gets involved when ADR has the armbar locked on, and rightly gets kicked shitless by Del Rio. Del Rio proceed to sell a frogsplash onto a ladder (which Del Rio is under) as if his insides have been liquidated. The ending, with ADR destroying RVD's arm in a chair and forcing a tapout to the armbar is more proof that brutal sadist ADR is one of the best guys in 2013.

Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro vs the Great Khali & Santino Marella
I think we all know there is only one reason this got booked, but let's give it a chance. That said, I'm not sure people were hoping for an opening section of matwork between Swagger and Marella. Aside from some nice RA double teams, there is nothing here to enjoy until the inevitable moment....Cesaro giving the giant swing to Khali. That's enough for the three, but this match could easily have been dropped.

Curtis Axel vs R-Truth
I like Axel, but he's going to have to uproot trees here, as Truth hasn't been interesting in years. Axel takes a few nice bumps early on to help the challenger look good, before kicking Truth into the barricades to take over. There is a period of Axel offence before Truth starts his comeback, with an awesome glassy eyed sell of a leg lariat by Axel. Scissor Kick gets two for Truth, but Axel avoids a corner charge and hits the Axelizer for the win. Totally heatless from the crowd, but this was perfectly ok.

Brie Bella vs AJ Lee
With her leather jacket at ringside, Tamina gives good Diesel to AJ's Shawn Michaels. I like Brie showing a bit of rage at the start of this match - her offence isn't great, but at least she looks like she wants to hurt AJ. I loved AJ taking over by kicking Bella's knee on the apron whilst on defence, shows her comparative ring smarts. AJ works over the left arm pretty well, and uses it as a weak point to focus on to stop Brie getting on offence. Brie's offence looks pretty milky in comparison. AJ picks up the win with a roll-up after Brie gets distracted by Tamina choking out Nikki Bella at ringside.

Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns
Going into the PPV, this was the match I wanted to watch above all others. It's been said by a lot of people online, but it's true...Goldust hasn't lost a step. He moves smoothly, his punches have real snap and his offence looks crisper than ever. His diving clothesline on Reigns here is immense. Cody also gets to show some fire, which really suits him. Meanwhile, the Shield team continue to show their skill at tag wrestling, wearing down Cody, keeping themselves in between him and his corner and generally looking good. Cody comes back with a top rope moonsault to Rollins and Goldust comes in on fire, love his sharp boot to Reigns' temple. Also got to love mid-40's Dustin Rhodes adding a diving crossbody to his arsenal. The offense run ends as a missed crossbody sends Goldust to the floor, but luckily he's also an awesome face-in-peril. He takes Reigns' awesome flying clothesline like a champ. What helps here is that the fans genuinely like Goldust, genuinely want him to win, so he gets a lot of support when the Shield members wear him down with chinlocks and other holds. Goldust's comeback snap powerslam still looks gorgeous. Hot tag Cody is great at being fired up, and a lot of his offence is better suited to being a face - the Disaster Kick in particular is a great "sudden pop" move. The ending with Dusty stopping some Dean Ambrose interference and Cody nailing the mother of all CrossRhodes is awesome. Tag matches don't get much better.

Kofi Kingston vs Bray Wyatt
Man, I really liked the Kingston gameplan early here, trying to wear down Wyatt with some tough looking kicks. When Wyatt is on offence, I quite like the air of menace he gives off, from his running corner splash to the diving headbutts he hits on a downed Kofi. You get a feel for the cruelty he's trying to dish out. Kofi's comeback is a little uninspired, but the diving crossbody Bray uses to stop it is magnificent. Wyatt's "upside down spider walk" however looks fucking terrible, and I hope he isn't planning on using it regularly. We've just enough time for an insane Kofi tope to the outside before Wyatt hits Sister Abigail for the win. This was better than I'd have hoped for.

CM Punk vs Ryback
Punk actually uses the same plan as Kingston here, wearing Ryback down with kicks, only with more success as Ryback leaves the ring several times to avoid him. It's quite fun seeing someone the size of Ryback playing chickenshit heel. Punk's plan seems to be to hit and run, which works as he gets Ryback to his knees, before peppering him with shots to the ribs. The otherside of a cat-and-mouse style match the occurs as Punk is caught by Ryback and becomes victim to Ryback's power game. Punk is viciously hurled into the corner ringpost. I like Punk trying to break a chinlock with blows to the ribs he'd already worked on. Ryback's offence is methodical, but fun, with a nasty clotheline levelling Punk. A bodyscissors/choke is broken by Punk delivering vicious blows to face. Heyman grabs the mic and distracts Punk, which makes him look like an idiot as Ryback nails him. A soppy clothesline from Punk downs Ryback, which looks a bit shit. I was starting to worry the match was going to be overlong at this point, before another Heyman distraction backfires, with Punk hitting a lowblow to win. Decent, though a few parts really dragged.

Daniel Bryan vs Randy Orton
I was looking forward to this, as I enjoy sneaky heel Orton, and I liked it early on as he went for a test of strength with Bryan, only to grab the rope and kick him in the midsection, with the rope grabbing making him look even more devious. Also, as soon as he gets on offence, he's chasing Bryan round the ring to grind Bryan's face into his boots over and over. Love it. They've got a fine line to tread between keeping Bryan looking strong and putting over the new, more violent Orton, and I think they just about get it right, with Bryan getting nice, aggressive hope spots and Orton shutting them down suddenly. Bryan's got a few set spots that get good reactions, and he's great at mixing them in. This time, he doesn't hit his usual running dropkick after flipping over Orton in the corner. Instead, Orton throws him from the ring, only for Bryan to send HIM out with a headscissors and nail the suicide dive. Little things like that keep him interesting. Orton hitting a vicious back suplex onto the barrier then throwing Bryan into the ringpost puts over his new edge perfectly. Top rope superplex by Orton looks great too. Bryan comes back with a crossbody to the floor which looks nuts, and his series of running dropkicks to the corner is fantastic. In fact, this match is really fucking good, which makes the awful ending all the more frustrating. Big Show knocking out both guys would be much less upsetting if the match had only been so-so. Slap an ending on this, and you've got a match-of-the-year contender. Instead, it just leaves a disappointing taste in the mouth.

ECW December To Dismember 2006

So, for just £3 second-hand, I got the pay-per view that killed the ECW PPV dream for good. Is it as bad as people claim?

The Hardy Boys vs MNM

Well, at least they went for a hot opener. Both teams are reforming for “one night only” here, though they’d open the Rumble the following month. The match sees the Hardys dominate at first, until some Melina interference gives MNM an opening. They work over Matt with a nice series of double teams, and even get Melina to give him a headscissors on the apron. Matt goes for the hot tag after reversing a double suplex into a double neckbreaker, but MNM attack Jeff on the apron to prevent the tag. I loved the way that the heels cockily imitate the Hardys by hitting Poetry In Motion and attempting the Twist of Fate/Swanton combo. However, this backfires when Matt blocks the TOF and gets the hot tag to Jeff. We get treated to a nice dive sequence, the highlight of which is Nitro hurling himself with reckless abandon over the top rope. The Hardys got for the TOF/Swanton combo, but Nitro pulls Mercury out of harms way, and Jeff is soon the face-in-peril. MNM use some strong plays from the heel handbook, using blind tags and assaults on Matt to keep their control over Jeff. Melina even responds viciously to “crackwhore” chants by punting Jeff in the ribs. Jeff makes the hot tag and all Hell breaks loose. Even Melina takes one for the team, getting accidentally dropkicked off the apron by Nitro. MNM hit the Snapshot for two,

Matt Striker vs Balls Mahoney

Striker promises to make this an Extreme Rules match...”an Extreme enforcement of the rules”. Brilliant. Striker has a picture of his face on the seat of his trunks and we’re treated to way too many close-ups of this. Balls locks Striker in a cross-armbreaker early to show he can go on the mat with him, so Striker resorts to a cheap shot, before Balls hits the ringpost on a shoulder-charge. Striker does a pretty good job working over the arm with some fun offence, including a pretty swank roll-through into a Fujiwara armbar. Honestly, this is a pretty decent match, with Balls doing a good selling job and Striker perfectly fine as a smarmy heel. Balls hits some powermoves using only his good arm, before hitting a sitout spinebuster for 3. Enjoyed this a lot.

Elijah Burke & Sylvester Terkay vs the FBI

This is pretty much a squash match, though the FBI do get to briefly look good. The main aim is to get Terkay over as a monster, which he does by manhandling the FBI, throwing Guido over the top rope onto Mamaluke. The FBI try to use their speed advantage, downing Terkay by dropkicking his legs, but Burke hits the Stroke on Mamaluke for an easy win.

Daivari vs Tommy Dreamer

Like the most disappointing Heat main event ever. Daivari bumps about for Dreamer early doors, especially when taking a throw to the barricades. Khali interferes to help, but gets caught by the ref and thrown out. Daivari cranks up the crowd with a lengthy chinlock, then a second when Dreamer breaks free. Dreamer fights back again, but Daivari blocks the DDT and rolls him up for 3. Not a PPV encounter.

 

Mike Knox & Kelly Kelly vs Kevin Thorn & Ariel

This actually starts off pretty well, with Knox and Thorn just wailing on each other. The crowd is dead, despite both men nailing awesome clotheslines. Knox makes a mistake by chinlocking Thorn however, as this kills the crowd even more. At least with the lengthy Daivari chinlocks you could argue that it encouraged fans to cheer for Dreamer. This is a heel v heel encounter. The girls get tagged in and somehow this gets even worse, as Kelly is at her dirt worst here. Ariel dominates, but Kelly fires back and goes for the hot-tag, only for Knox to leave her to her fate. Ariel uses some choke-STO to win. Pretty horrible.

 

The Big Show vs Test vs CM Punk vs Hardcore Holly vs Rob Van Dam vs Bobby Lashley

This is an extreme elimination chamber match for the ECW title. The “extreme” comes from the fact that there are weapons inside the pods. I should highlight here how big Test was at this point. The man looks like a fucking tank. I should also highlight this match is terrible. There are so many factors stopping it from being good. I’m not even talking about the decision to replace the advertised Sabu (who incidentally is still on the DVD case) with Hardcore Holly, as I would rather watch Holly at this time. It’s just horribly booked with massive logic gaps. For instance, the heel trio of Show, Test and Holly are quite clearly in cahoots. They applaud each other when they enter the ring and all three are henchmen of Paul Heyman. Logically, therefore, you’d assume the faces would also try and collaborate. You’d be wrong. When Punk is released from his pod to join RVD and Holly, he goes pretty much directly after Van Dam. Even when Test gets in and starts choking RVD with a crowbar, Punk and RVD seem to get paired off. This eventually leads to RVD hitting the Five Star on Punk to eliminate him. This leaves him with Test and Holly. Luckily for RVD, Test turns on Holly and boots him in the head to eliminate him (and they manage to blow this pinfall, with the ref only counting two, but Holly still leaving anyway). But there is no way RVD could have predicted that, he was instead happily leaving himself open to a 2-on-1 situation.

The next problem is that the match is clearly booked to get Lashley over. However, the fans simply don’t want that. So when Test pins RVD following an awesome elbow from the top of a pod onto RVD’s chair-coated face, the fans are left with three men (Test, Show, Lashley) they don’t really like. Even more stupid, Test pins RVD with time to spare before Lashley is released, leaving 30 seconds of deadtime. This gets even longer as Heyman’s masked goons try to stop Lashley getting in (and I’ve no idea how long they were intending on leaving him in his pod for). Then, after Lashley pins Test following a spear, he’s left alone for 1.15 until Show is let loose. This non-action isn’t winning the fans over, as they start chanting for a refund. Even the weapons can’t save this match, as no-one really thinks Big Show will get to wallop Lashley with a barbed-wire baseball bat, rendering it pointless. Some of the action is decent (That top of pod Test elbow, the entire Punk section which re-energised the match), but by the time Lashley wins the ECW title by spearing Show, the crowd is pissed off, bored and ready to go. To be honest, by that point so was I. Dreadful main event.