WWE No Mercy 2007

I'd never watched this show before, but the recent announcement of the returning Punjabi Prison match made me realise I'd never actually seen one before. So, hoping to use the hype for the returning match to pad up the reading figures for this blog, I decided to give it a watch. No-one warned me about THREE Triple H matches though...

Triple H vs Randy Orton

Right, I don’t want to get onto a “slagging Triple H” off thread right at the start of the show, but there are a select band of wrestlers I’d be happy to see wrestle three times in one night and HHH is not one of those guys. The challenge is to have three interesting matches on the night, and unfortunately you suspect he must have been saving the interesting stuff for later in the night. Honestly, if I told you to close your eyes and imagine a 10 minute HHH/Orton match, you’d almost certainly picture this match move-for-move. There are a few positives: I liked the big clothesline and double-sledge to the back of the head that HHH hit, Orton had great timing kicking the ropes into HHH’s crotch before hitting the draping DDT and HHH locking in a figure-four after Orton misses a kneedrop is a logical move. Also, the ending was a nice change – no finishers, Triple H gets the pin from a roll-up after Orton missed a corner charge.

Jeff Hardy, Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs Mr Kennedy, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch

This is billed as a bonus match, and it’s a nice little 8 minute match. Wisely, they largely leave Kennedy out of this, only really featuring at the end. Murdoch seems especially inspired here, really liked him countering Hardy’s sitdown jawbuster by simply not going down with him and instead booting Hardy in the face. Kendrick becomes face-in-peril after Murdoch opens up the ropes, sending Kendrick tumbling to the floor. The heat on Kendrick is brief due to the match length, but he hits a wild leaping DDT on Cade to make the hot tag. Hardy basically dumps Murdoch on his head with a gourdbuster, and everything breaks down, leaving Kennedy and London in the ring. Kennedy takes the win with the leaping Finlay roll. Good little sprint here.

CM Punk vs Big Daddy V

Nonsensical stuff here. V looks great dominating Punk to start, smothering him on the mat and wailing away with crossfaces. When Punk does escape, he’s quicker getting up so can hit V in the head with some (admittedly crap) kicks to the head…and so Matt Striker leaps in to beat him down for the DQ. This costs his charge the ECW title, doesn’t make any sense. Waste of time match.

Triple H vs Umaga

Because Vince is a bastard, he puts HHH into another match to defend his title. This is a lot better than the opener, they keep it brief and actually tell a decent story. An early HHH DDT looks like shit, with Umaga falling to his knees with his head nowhere near the mat. Umaga hits HHH in the ribs with a thrust kick, and from that point on has a focal point. A Samoan Drop and a series of big strikes highlight this plan, and HHH does a nice job of selling the damage. Umaga locks in a bearhug, continuing the focus, though I’m not a fan of HHH using an eyerake to escape when he’s a face. The end doesn’t hurt Umaga either, as HHH takes advantage of one mistake – a missed corner charge – and quickly hits the Pedigree to retain. This was a fine little match.

Finlay vs Rey Mysterio

When you’ve got two guys who were pretty much the best in the world at the time facing each other, you go in with pretty high hopes. I’d say that these hopes weren’t fully met, but that’s due to the booking rather than the performances of both men. Love Rey’s fluidity early on. It’s not just that his spots look impressive, but also that everything flows in a way that makes sense, each move follows on logically from the one he’s just hit. For example, he hits a slingshot dropkick into the ring on a sat-down Finlay, which positions him perfectly to hit a slingshot splash. Finlay takes over in a lovely way, avoiding a Rey sunset flip powerbomb to the floor by grabbing the ring apron and pulling it up over Rey’s head to pummel him. From there, Finlay slides Rey shoulder first into the ringpost, and from there works over the shoulder. Loved him stopping Rey’s momentum on a flying headscissors to turn it into a shoulderbreaker. Mysterio’s comeback is really nicely done and he kind of peppers Finlay with offence until Finlay tumbles backwards from the ring apron with a sickening thud. This ends up being the end of the match, with the referee throwing up an X for the match stoppage. They really blow the end though, as Finlay is faking the injury to jump Mysterio, and the camera zooms in on Finlay’s face to show this. Even odder, Cole acknowledges the faking, but then continues to pretend Finlay is actually injured, thus blowing all the suspense. Unsurprisingly, Finlay jumps off his stretcher and attacks Rey. Match was really good until the hokey ending.

Candice Michelle vs Beth Phoenix

This is really interesting, as the match itself is very much not good, but there are some really good bits mixed in. Candice, for example, hits really shit kicks and can barely run the ropes, but she pulls off this cool little roll-up and works a nice short-arm scissors. Michelle also hits a decent crossbody. Phoenix is really good at working the size difference, but the match is a bit too clunky and they both seem a bit lost in between moves. Phoenix wins with a cradle suplex.

Batista vs The Great Khali

So, the rules of the Punjabi Prison match are that there are two big cages, with the inner cage attached to the ring. Each side of the ring has a door that can only be opened once and is padlocked after 1 minute. If all four doors get padlocked, you have to climb out. The winner is the guy who successfully escapes both the inner and outer cage.

This isn’t a match you’d technically call “good”, but it’s an enjoyable spectacle for the most part. The limits on the door opening times are, I assume, designed to add some psychology as you can’t just open doors willy-nilly, but Khali pretty much blows that by calling for the first door less than a minute in. Batista pretty much bumps around like a loon for Khali here, and this may be what carries the match. There’s a nice tease of the Batista Bomb when Khali tries a ten count in the corner, and the spinebuster Batista hits on Khali looks good. Less good is Khali attempting to crush Batista under the weight of the final cage door when he realises that they aren’t going to be able to walk out – it looks really terrible despite Batista doing his best to make it look painful. Batista takes a huge bump from the cage when they both try climbing out, which gives Khali a huge lead, and this means that Batista also has to take the biggest risk by leaping from the top of the inner cage to the outer, which would have been a nasty bump if he’d missed. Luckily, he makes it and touches down first to win this fun, but nonsensical, match.

Triple H vs Randy Orton

This is, thankfully, the final HHH bout of the night and is a last man standing match. Orton goes right after HHH’s injured ribs to start. Really nicely done too, he’d hit a rib, then take advantage of HHH recoiling to blast him in the face a few times. Then, when HHH would start to cover his face, back to the ribs again. Orton continues the rib work with a backsuplex on the barrier, then brilliantly locking in a bodyscissors on the ribs whilst choking HHH with a cable. Nice spot. Orton shows great poise here, standing by passively whilst the ref counts, but as soon as HHH even moves an arm, he changes stance, getting ready to strike. HHH gets his moments to shine as he throws Orton through a table on a missed RKO and then hits a spinebuster on the floor for a close call. They start hitting bigger and bigger shots that should really finish it, considering both guys had barely been making an 8 count earlier. The RKO on the open chair would have been an acceptable finisher, and it does start to get towards overkill by the end. HHH hitting a chairshot with Orton’s head held in the “V” of the ringsteps looks shit, as he’s obviously not hit him. Eventually, Orton hits the RKO on the announce table to finish it. This was actually a pretty good match for the most part, but honestly you could have put anyone in the HHH role, as Orton’s character work and match timing were spot on here.

WWE Battleground 2013

Alberto Del Rio vs Rob Van Dam
Man, RVD and Ricardo really aren't a combination that works well together. RVD starts well with a moonsault and a DDT onto a chair in opening 3 mins. Love Del Rio's aggression, with a nasty boot to RVD's face. Since turning back heel again, Del Rio's viciousness has been a joy to behold. Here, he also takes some nutty bumps to make RVD look better, hurling himself into a ladder, then to the floor. RVD's bump when Del Rio kicks him in the head with the ladder landing on him is a bit milkier. There is something a little sad about Jerry Lawler claiming you'd need a clairvoyant to guess what RVD will do next, when he's pretty much just running through his usual spots, only with a ladder involved. This does lead to a nice bump, as RVD misses Rolling Thunder onto a ladder. Ricardo, being the little shit he is, gets involved when ADR has the armbar locked on, and rightly gets kicked shitless by Del Rio. Del Rio proceed to sell a frogsplash onto a ladder (which Del Rio is under) as if his insides have been liquidated. The ending, with ADR destroying RVD's arm in a chair and forcing a tapout to the armbar is more proof that brutal sadist ADR is one of the best guys in 2013.

Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro vs the Great Khali & Santino Marella
I think we all know there is only one reason this got booked, but let's give it a chance. That said, I'm not sure people were hoping for an opening section of matwork between Swagger and Marella. Aside from some nice RA double teams, there is nothing here to enjoy until the inevitable moment....Cesaro giving the giant swing to Khali. That's enough for the three, but this match could easily have been dropped.

Curtis Axel vs R-Truth
I like Axel, but he's going to have to uproot trees here, as Truth hasn't been interesting in years. Axel takes a few nice bumps early on to help the challenger look good, before kicking Truth into the barricades to take over. There is a period of Axel offence before Truth starts his comeback, with an awesome glassy eyed sell of a leg lariat by Axel. Scissor Kick gets two for Truth, but Axel avoids a corner charge and hits the Axelizer for the win. Totally heatless from the crowd, but this was perfectly ok.

Brie Bella vs AJ Lee
With her leather jacket at ringside, Tamina gives good Diesel to AJ's Shawn Michaels. I like Brie showing a bit of rage at the start of this match - her offence isn't great, but at least she looks like she wants to hurt AJ. I loved AJ taking over by kicking Bella's knee on the apron whilst on defence, shows her comparative ring smarts. AJ works over the left arm pretty well, and uses it as a weak point to focus on to stop Brie getting on offence. Brie's offence looks pretty milky in comparison. AJ picks up the win with a roll-up after Brie gets distracted by Tamina choking out Nikki Bella at ringside.

Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns
Going into the PPV, this was the match I wanted to watch above all others. It's been said by a lot of people online, but it's true...Goldust hasn't lost a step. He moves smoothly, his punches have real snap and his offence looks crisper than ever. His diving clothesline on Reigns here is immense. Cody also gets to show some fire, which really suits him. Meanwhile, the Shield team continue to show their skill at tag wrestling, wearing down Cody, keeping themselves in between him and his corner and generally looking good. Cody comes back with a top rope moonsault to Rollins and Goldust comes in on fire, love his sharp boot to Reigns' temple. Also got to love mid-40's Dustin Rhodes adding a diving crossbody to his arsenal. The offense run ends as a missed crossbody sends Goldust to the floor, but luckily he's also an awesome face-in-peril. He takes Reigns' awesome flying clothesline like a champ. What helps here is that the fans genuinely like Goldust, genuinely want him to win, so he gets a lot of support when the Shield members wear him down with chinlocks and other holds. Goldust's comeback snap powerslam still looks gorgeous. Hot tag Cody is great at being fired up, and a lot of his offence is better suited to being a face - the Disaster Kick in particular is a great "sudden pop" move. The ending with Dusty stopping some Dean Ambrose interference and Cody nailing the mother of all CrossRhodes is awesome. Tag matches don't get much better.

Kofi Kingston vs Bray Wyatt
Man, I really liked the Kingston gameplan early here, trying to wear down Wyatt with some tough looking kicks. When Wyatt is on offence, I quite like the air of menace he gives off, from his running corner splash to the diving headbutts he hits on a downed Kofi. You get a feel for the cruelty he's trying to dish out. Kofi's comeback is a little uninspired, but the diving crossbody Bray uses to stop it is magnificent. Wyatt's "upside down spider walk" however looks fucking terrible, and I hope he isn't planning on using it regularly. We've just enough time for an insane Kofi tope to the outside before Wyatt hits Sister Abigail for the win. This was better than I'd have hoped for.

CM Punk vs Ryback
Punk actually uses the same plan as Kingston here, wearing Ryback down with kicks, only with more success as Ryback leaves the ring several times to avoid him. It's quite fun seeing someone the size of Ryback playing chickenshit heel. Punk's plan seems to be to hit and run, which works as he gets Ryback to his knees, before peppering him with shots to the ribs. The otherside of a cat-and-mouse style match the occurs as Punk is caught by Ryback and becomes victim to Ryback's power game. Punk is viciously hurled into the corner ringpost. I like Punk trying to break a chinlock with blows to the ribs he'd already worked on. Ryback's offence is methodical, but fun, with a nasty clotheline levelling Punk. A bodyscissors/choke is broken by Punk delivering vicious blows to face. Heyman grabs the mic and distracts Punk, which makes him look like an idiot as Ryback nails him. A soppy clothesline from Punk downs Ryback, which looks a bit shit. I was starting to worry the match was going to be overlong at this point, before another Heyman distraction backfires, with Punk hitting a lowblow to win. Decent, though a few parts really dragged.

Daniel Bryan vs Randy Orton
I was looking forward to this, as I enjoy sneaky heel Orton, and I liked it early on as he went for a test of strength with Bryan, only to grab the rope and kick him in the midsection, with the rope grabbing making him look even more devious. Also, as soon as he gets on offence, he's chasing Bryan round the ring to grind Bryan's face into his boots over and over. Love it. They've got a fine line to tread between keeping Bryan looking strong and putting over the new, more violent Orton, and I think they just about get it right, with Bryan getting nice, aggressive hope spots and Orton shutting them down suddenly. Bryan's got a few set spots that get good reactions, and he's great at mixing them in. This time, he doesn't hit his usual running dropkick after flipping over Orton in the corner. Instead, Orton throws him from the ring, only for Bryan to send HIM out with a headscissors and nail the suicide dive. Little things like that keep him interesting. Orton hitting a vicious back suplex onto the barrier then throwing Bryan into the ringpost puts over his new edge perfectly. Top rope superplex by Orton looks great too. Bryan comes back with a crossbody to the floor which looks nuts, and his series of running dropkicks to the corner is fantastic. In fact, this match is really fucking good, which makes the awful ending all the more frustrating. Big Show knocking out both guys would be much less upsetting if the match had only been so-so. Slap an ending on this, and you've got a match-of-the-year contender. Instead, it just leaves a disappointing taste in the mouth.