The Funk Brothers vs Ivan McDonald & Jeff Gripley
Mildly disappointing squash, with the Funks not looking as
impressive as you’d hope. It’s not so much their execution, as I dug Terry’s
headbutts whilst holding onto the hair of Gripley, it’s more to do with the layout.
The Funks seem to have Gripley done, after a big piledriver by Dory and a
neckbreaker by Terry, but then Dory just puts him into an armbar. Feels odd
after two moves designed to impact the neck, and it’s not like they’re building
to anything with it – just feels like padding to draw out the match time. In
the end, Terry works over Gripley’s leg and Dory locks in a Texas Cloverleaf to
win
Bobby Heenan vs Sal Bellomo
My old nemesis Bellomo, here a clean shaven face, is put
into an odd situation, facing off against Heenan in a rare match that he hasn’t
been coerced into. Even more oddly, Heenan gives a clean handshake to start. I
enjoyed this more than I expected, as both guys exchange some cheapshots
despite the handshake, and both are bumping big. Bellomo takes a backdrop bump
bigger than all the ECW one’s I’ve seen so far combined. I also liked Bellomo’s
JYD headbutts in the corner from his knees. The end sees Heenan sit down on a
sunset flip for the clean win. Man, Bellomo was low on the jobber chain here.
B Brian Blair vs Iron Mike Sharpe
No complaints with this one, really enjoyed it. Sharpe is so
fun to watch, allowing Blair to make him look a total goon on a criss-cross and
fleeing into the crowd to regroup after a flying headscissors. He’s also got
these great looping punches. His backbreaker is sloppy, but Blair seems to be a
big bumper to compensate for Sharpe’s lesser offence. Really enjoyed the spot
where Sharpe refused to let Blair back into the ring, so Blair crawled
underneath to surprise him from the backside. Thought Blair looked really good
here, just crisp looking offence, nice punches and it kind of man me want to
see more of a guy I’d previously barely registered. The ending was a
disappointing double-count out, but this was fun.
Lanny Poffo vs The Gladiator
Gladiator is a pudgy guy in amateur wrestling tights and a
faux-Kendo Nagasaki mask. Just a generic 80’s jobber costume. This is worked
one the mat for the most part, and is quite nicely competitive there. Loved
Poffo trying to escape by rolling out of an armbar, but remaining grounded. The
Gladiator tries to change the style by punching Poffo in the corner, but he’s
soon slammed and takes a moonsault for the Poffo win. If it ain’t broke,
shouldn’t have fixed it…
Donna Christanello vs Linda Gonzalez
Christanello has one of those surnames that I’ve seen
countless different spellings off, so apologies if I’m wrong. This is also
worked primarily on the mat, but you don’t get the impression either lady is
technically proficient, and instead it’s just something to do before being told
to end the bout. I at least appreciated Donna pulling the tights of Gonzalez to
give her leverage on a leglock. This isn’t very exciting, despite Gonzalez’s
impressive bumping off a dropkick, and it’s a relief when Linda picks up the
win with a decent bridging O’Connor roll.
Tony Atlas & Tony Garea vs Steve Lombardi & the
Menace
The Menace is the least threatening jobber name I think I’ve
heard. Lombardi really looks poor here, messing up a knee-to-the-gut sequence
with Garea and having to readjust his footing so as not to arrive too early for
an Atlas monkey flip. Atlas looks good here though, really nice agility, and
his press slam and splash gets the win over the Menace. This was short and a
bit pointless.
The Hart Foundation vs Ron Dee & Mario Mancini
The Harts look great here, really nicely executed squash.
Bret nails a sharp looking back elbow on Mancini and Neidhart follows up with a
big slam. Just competently breaking down the jobbers. Dee only tags in at the
end, and is almost immediately met with a killer Hart Attack, as Anvil whips
him off the rope and lifts him JUST in time for the Bret clothesline. Perfect
timing, made the move look even deadlier.
Ted Arcidi vs Chuck Simpson
Not much to this. Arcidi can’t really do much, and for such
a muscly guy, his power spots looked pretty lame. A beal across the ring on
Simpson looked more like his opponent stumbling over his feet. Arcidi doesn’t
have much offence, beside a nice clothesline, and Simpson doesn’t bump well
enough to compensate. An overhead backbreaker gets the submission to not much
reaction.
King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd vs Jim Powers &
Mike Saxon
On commentary, Vince is very keen to highlight that Saxon
isn’t Michael Jackson. Another disappointing squash, sadly, as the big lads are
mainly content to whip Saxon into the ropes and let him run into them. I did
love how nasty Bundy’s kneedrop looked, just a big weight falling directly onto
Saxon’s chest. Studd contributes little, until an assisted avalanche and an
elbow gives Bundy the three (or five). Powers was barely involved.
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