Another TNA DVD sent to me by Lovefilm. This show is from that period where Hulk Hogan was just about to come in and "shake things up", so because they didn't yet know the longterm direction of the company, they just put on a load of good matches instead. No surprises to learn this led to a pretty good show
Homicide vs Amazing Red
This is for Red's X Division championship, and the initial stages are all about Red using his speed to dominate Homicide, until he gets turned inside out by a Homicide clothesline. Homicide is tougher than Red, and uses this to control. Loved the big backbreaker, which looked super effective on the tiny Red, and the nasty streak of Homicide is shown via trash talking and kneeling with his leg over Red's throat (always a favourite spot). This does cost him, as Red is given time to recover and nail a springboard cutter. A cutter attempt by Homicide is blocked and Red hits a SSP straight away, again showing the speed advantage. Homicide gets two after catching a moonsaulting Red with a cutter, which doesn't quite connect cleanly, sadly. Red shoves Homicide down on a top rope rana attempt, and nails the Code Red from the second rope to win. Good logical match to open things up.
ODB, Sarita & Taylor Wilde vs Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich
The problem with this match is that two-thirds of the heel team aren't very good. Madison Rayne and Sarita do get to work a nice sequence together, but I suspect that it's because Madison is the only Beautiful Person who can keep up with her. The fans are all over poor Lacey every time she gets in the ring, offering up "You Can't Wrestle" chants as soon as she steps in between the ropes. ODB ends up alone with all three members of the BP in the ring, but takes them all out easily, finishing Rayne with a TKO.
The British Invasion vs the Motor City Machineguns vs Beer Money
Triple threat tag with only two men allowed in the ring at once. I like the smarts of the British Invasion here, allowing the two face teams to square off, waitng for the right moment to strike. It doesn't pay off, as the MCMG are all over Doug Williams when he blind tags in, and only the interference of Magnus allows him to turn the tide and make Sabin face in peril. I like the fact each team only tags in their own partners, meaning the outside team has to be more creative in finding ways into the match. Things, predictably, break down and the Invasion get quadruple teamed. The MCMG are soon out of the match, as a missed Sabin plancha and a big German suplex to Shelley put them down for the rest of the match. The end sees a classic Russo swerve, as Kevin Nash comes to the ring to seemingly stop Eric Young trying to interfere in the match, but he instead nails James Storm with a title belt, distracting Robert Roode for the Invasion to hit their double-team diving uppercut for the win. This was fine, but should have been better considering who was involved.
Tara vs Awesome Kong
This is a steel cage match from the period where Tara would come to the ring with that stupid spider. Ideally, the build-up to this match would have seen Kong squash the bug, like Earthquake squashing Damian. I liked the fact this match started with Tara taking the fight to Kong, not with dropkicks or clotheslines, but with punches right to the face. Kong hit the cage attempting the backfist, and Tara worked over the hand until Kong took over. They made use of the cage well, as Kong dominated Tara by first splashing her against the cage, then swinging her into the cage wall. Tara managed to regain control after reversing a second Kong suplex into a DDT. I enjoyed the scene where both ladies were sat on the top rope punching each other. Really good ending here, as Tara powerbombs Kong off the top turnbuckle for a two count, before deciding to climb out. At the top of the cage, however, she changes her mind and nails a Thesz press from the top of the cage to win. Really fun ten minute match.
Rhino & Team 3D vs Hernandez, D'Angelo Deniro & Matt Morgan
The face team aren't really showing much unity to start, as Deniro manages to distract Hernandez, which causes him to get attacked at the bell. Deniro then blind tags in to further upset his partner, but as he takes down Brother Ray and pummels him in the face, the resulting pop highlights him as the most over guy in the match. A Rhyno/Morgan section is surprisingly good and hard-hitting, before Deniro becomes face-in-peril. This was quite nicely done, as Deniro shoved Hernandez out of the ring to save him from the 3D, but this meant he got hit with a double-team neckbreaker. The heat section on Pope is pretty dull and a bit too restholdy, but things really hot up in the finishing stretch after he makes the tag. I loved the insane Hernandez dive to the outside, which looked great. The end saw Hernandez have Rhino up for the border toss, only for Devon to nail him in the ribs with a chair, allowing Rhino to hit the same ribs with a gore for three. Considering the participants, this was surprisingly good.
Scott Steiner vs Bobby Lashley
This has been built up by Steiner trying it on with Lashley's wife Krystal, and with Steiner coming to the ring with a picture of Krystal etched onto the crotch of his tights, you'd think this would be a really violent brawl. However, despite the no DQ stipulation, it never quite heats up as you'd like it too. Lashley looks good early on, with a nice T-bone suplex, but you never feel the hate. I did like Steiner taking control following 3 low blows. A top rope Frankensteiner looks off, thanks to Lashley almost sliding to the mat as Steiner gets into position. They brawl backstage, which heats things up a bit. Lashley suplexes Steiner through a table, but misses a spear into a big wooden crate. Even at this point, we get a bit too much wandering round and not enought violently beating, despite Steiner bleeding. The end sees Steiner nail Lashley in the head with a pipe to win, but this was a bit of a letdown.
Desmond Wolfe vs Kurt Angle
Can't help but feel a little underwhelmed by this match. I really like the initial parts, with Wolfe working over the arm of Angle in a number of ways, but things go slightly downhill when Wolfe gets over confident and Angle comes back into it. Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly then SIX rolling Germans, which undoes all the good arm work done by Wolfe. No point in Wolfe trying to make Angle submit due to his arm if he's able to throw you over his head six times in a row with no worries. Wolfe does keep returning to the arm as his point of focus, though he mixes it up a bit to focus on Angle's neck with a DDT and the Tower of London, which gets him too. Angle clotheslines him down with the bad arm, making another Wolfe armbar pretty pointless. He's even able to get Wolfe up for a tombstone at one point, albeit one that Wolfe manages to reverse. Angle in turn reverses this into an anklelock, then counters a Wolfe reversal to lock in a side triangle choke for the immediate tap. Some of this was really good, especially some of the early matwork, but the non-selling of the arm really hurt it.
AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels vs Samoa Joe
The crowd is hyped for this one. Really dug the early signs of familiarity, with Daniels breaking up a Joe attacking sequence midway through, and Styles knowing when to stop a Daniels dive to maximum effect. Styles and Joe both make elementary mistakes by locking in submission holds early, which leave them prone to attacks by the third man, whilst Daniels is smart enough to use a submission hold to tie up both men. There are, predictably, some really exciting sequences. I loved Joe kicking out AJ's leg to send him crashing onto the apron, which in turn leaves him prone for a Daniels suicide dive. I also loved Joe catching Styles from a Daniels monkey flip, then powerbombing him onto Daniels. What was great is that it really felt like guys actually trying to win, not just hitting pretty looking spots. The familiarity between the three means that it's logical for guys to have a counter for their signature moves. The is pretty logical, as the only way AJ can win is by taking out both guys at once - Daniels hits the BME on Joe, but AJ springboards in with a 450 to both men to pick up the pinfall on Joe. Really great main event.
Sunday 26 October 2014
Monday 13 October 2014
Necro Butcher - Choose Death
After that fucking terrible XPW tape I reviewed last time, it was nice to receive this Necro Butcher comp from Lovefilm. My XPW negativity may give them impression that I hate hardcore or deathmatch wrestling, but done well it's a type of wrestling I do really enjoy. Thankfully, Necro is better at it than most, and this is a largely fun set of matches.
Necro Butcher vs "Mean" Mitch Page
I've never seen Page before, despite watching a good few IWA-Mid South tapes in the early 2000's, so he was new to me. It was a good first impression, as I really dug this. Within a minute, Necro hurls himself without abandon from the top rope into Page and two rows of chairs. What I enjoyed is that this felt like a real fight, with the exception of Page hitting a Rocker Dropper onto a pile of lightbulbs. The bulk of the match was the two guys leathering each other with weapons or hurling the other into things, and there were no cutesy or over-complicated weapon set ups. I loved a big suplex by Necro into another row of chairs and the spectacular image of fans having to runs to avoid getting nailed with a ladder than Page hurled towards the Butcher. The end spots were goofy, but fun. First Necro set fire to his fucking leg before hitting a second rope legdrop. He only got two, probably because he had to put his leg out before going for the pin. Page ended up winning, after setting fire to a towel around his head and hitting a top rope flaming headbutt to win. Good stuff.
Necro Butcher vs Ian Rotten
I enjoyed this far less. I find I enjoy Ian more in his straight-up wrestling matches than his hardcore stuff. Ian is bleeding before the match even starts. To start off, they just exchange blows and strikes, which is pretty fun, before Ian waffles Necro with a tack-covered bat. This leaves an impressive looking sheen of silver tacks embedded in Butcher's head. Despite there being more weapons used than the Page match, this felt less violent, less like they were hurting each other to win a fight and more like they were moving on to the next weapon spot. They also included the hardcore spots I hate most, where guys mutilate their opponent rather than try and hurt them to win, like wrapping them in barb wire or trying to carve them with broken glass. Eventually, they just move onto the finish with no build-up, as Rotten clumsily powerbombs Necro neck first onto the edge of a flaming table. Not good.
Necro Butcher vs 2 Tuff Tony
This doesn't take long to heat up, with Necro getting slammed from the apron onto lightbulbs within two minutes. They recklessly exchange bulb shots in front of the crowd, before heading back in to allow Necro to pretend to staplegun Tony's penis. Butcher uses a nice tigerbomb (wrestling move!), before Tony hits an MK Ultra on some bulbs, which is somehow only a 2. We get a lovely shot in the crowd of a father carrying a small child, whilst in front of them 2 Tuff Tony powerslams Necro onto the ring steps. In the ring, Tony totally takes over and keeps hammering Necro with bulbs, including smashing a bulb in Necro's mouth. So nasty. This gives Tony time to set up a board with more bulbs and barbed wire outside the ring, but Butcher is able to reverse a suplex attempt. Butcher goes for his own suplex from the apron, pretty much misses the board but still picks up the win.
Necro Butcher vs Mad Man Pondo
This match is pretty lightbulb heavy, what with the ropes being covered with them. It gets pretty ridiculous really quickly as the ring is soon covered with broken glass, the match soundtracked by the crunching of glass as they try to move around the ring. Pondo spends a lot of time trying to create structures to throw Butcher through, with every successful move buying him more time to build a fancier structure. Highlights include a horrifically sloppy DDT from the top by Pondo onto a bridge of bulbs over two chairs, a bloodsoaked Butcher hurling Pondo from the top rope like a javellin into a bin full of lightbulbs and a nasty looking senton by Pondo through lightbulbs onto Butcher. The end sees Pondo set up his most ridiculous structure yet, with bulbs wedged between two ladders, barely staying up, before superplexing Necro's near lifeless body into it (not through it, due to lack of elevation) for the win. The camera zooms in on Necro's arm just spewing blood, with a big chunk of flesh hanging off as someone yells for an ambulance. A remarkable spectacle.
Necro Butcher vs JC Bailey
This is a CZW match, but because it's "unsanctioned", it's held in the basement of the arena with no fans present. There is a barbed wire cage set up, with a belt hanging above it, with the winner being the first man to grab the belt. Necro doesn't even wait for Bailey to get to the cage, battering him with some nasty strikes. Bailey is smaller than Necro, so relies on both his speed and some convenient weapons to get an advantage. Bailey ramming Necro with a shopping trolley with lightbulbs taped to the front is pretty choice. In the cage, Necro takes more punishment, until hitting a double powerbomb, first into the side of the cage (smashing some conveniently placed lightbulbs), then into the mat. Like the Mitch Page match, this feels like a real nasty fight, with the bare minimum of setting up of weapons as most are already in place. When Bailey does takes some time to set up a pane of glass over the Butcher, it backfires, as Necro hurls him off the top and smashes the glass. The end sees Bailey set a load of bulbs over Necro, hit a big senton from the top, then climb the cage to take the title. Lots of fun
Necro Butcher vs Toby Klein
This is fantastic. Again, as with the best matches on this disc, there was a minimum of setting up complex spots, and more beating the other man up. I loved the use of strikes here, as both guys were content to exchange blows, with a few brutal looking punch exchanges having a palpable feeling of hate. The weapons shots seemed nastier than usual too, with Klein hurling a bulky old PC monitor at Butcher's head, and later pouring salt all over the wounds of Necro. A powerbomb off the bleachers to the floor by Klein was also tough-looking. Necro pulled a few shocks out of the bag too, first reversing a sunset flip powerpomb attempt with an unlikely flying headscissors to the floor, then barely glancing Klein with an insane flip dive from the top rope. The end sees Necro lock in an Asiatic spike sleeper, but a ref bump means the ref misses the tapout. A schoolboy by Klein nearly wins the match in the most unlikely way possible, but he finally gets the job done for real with a death valley driver onto an open chair.
Necro Butcher vs Corporal Robinson vs Brandon Prophet
This is a triple threat, with the guys who don't get pinned going through to the next round of a tournament. We kick off with Corp beating Prophet with weapons. This does feel like an initiation for Prophet, especially as this is pretty much a handicap match. Corp and Necro never tangle here. We get three chairs set up for a three-way punch-out, with Corp and Necro's punches on Prophet looking more impressive than his attempts. The veterans take it in turn to drop Prophet onto chairs. Necro spits lemon juice into Prophet's wounds, which has to suck. Prophet is made to look super tough, surviving a few nasty shots (including a piledriver onto a VCR) and he gets a two count by hitting a fisherman's suplex on Corp onto the lightbulbs. However, Necro breaks it up, despite not being out of the tournament if Corp gets pinned, so you can tell it's Prophet vs the world. In the end, Necro nails Prophet with a load of punches and Corp hits Boot Camp through a box coated with lightbulbs and barbed wire. This finishes Prophet. Pretty good fun.
Necro Butcher vs Tank
The majority of this match is the two big guys exchanging big punches, which is pretty fun. We get the seated slugfest, before Tank beats up Necro outside the ring. Necro returns the favour by lobbing chairs at a downed Tank, before the two get into another kneeling slugfest. Inside the ring, Tank nails Necro with more light-tubes and keeps up the assault. He hits a 2nd rope stomp through light-tubes for two, but a second attempt gets the win. I loved the punching, but it dragged a bit towards the end.
Necro Butcher vs "Mean" Mitch Page
I've never seen Page before, despite watching a good few IWA-Mid South tapes in the early 2000's, so he was new to me. It was a good first impression, as I really dug this. Within a minute, Necro hurls himself without abandon from the top rope into Page and two rows of chairs. What I enjoyed is that this felt like a real fight, with the exception of Page hitting a Rocker Dropper onto a pile of lightbulbs. The bulk of the match was the two guys leathering each other with weapons or hurling the other into things, and there were no cutesy or over-complicated weapon set ups. I loved a big suplex by Necro into another row of chairs and the spectacular image of fans having to runs to avoid getting nailed with a ladder than Page hurled towards the Butcher. The end spots were goofy, but fun. First Necro set fire to his fucking leg before hitting a second rope legdrop. He only got two, probably because he had to put his leg out before going for the pin. Page ended up winning, after setting fire to a towel around his head and hitting a top rope flaming headbutt to win. Good stuff.
Necro Butcher vs Ian Rotten
I enjoyed this far less. I find I enjoy Ian more in his straight-up wrestling matches than his hardcore stuff. Ian is bleeding before the match even starts. To start off, they just exchange blows and strikes, which is pretty fun, before Ian waffles Necro with a tack-covered bat. This leaves an impressive looking sheen of silver tacks embedded in Butcher's head. Despite there being more weapons used than the Page match, this felt less violent, less like they were hurting each other to win a fight and more like they were moving on to the next weapon spot. They also included the hardcore spots I hate most, where guys mutilate their opponent rather than try and hurt them to win, like wrapping them in barb wire or trying to carve them with broken glass. Eventually, they just move onto the finish with no build-up, as Rotten clumsily powerbombs Necro neck first onto the edge of a flaming table. Not good.
Necro Butcher vs 2 Tuff Tony
This doesn't take long to heat up, with Necro getting slammed from the apron onto lightbulbs within two minutes. They recklessly exchange bulb shots in front of the crowd, before heading back in to allow Necro to pretend to staplegun Tony's penis. Butcher uses a nice tigerbomb (wrestling move!), before Tony hits an MK Ultra on some bulbs, which is somehow only a 2. We get a lovely shot in the crowd of a father carrying a small child, whilst in front of them 2 Tuff Tony powerslams Necro onto the ring steps. In the ring, Tony totally takes over and keeps hammering Necro with bulbs, including smashing a bulb in Necro's mouth. So nasty. This gives Tony time to set up a board with more bulbs and barbed wire outside the ring, but Butcher is able to reverse a suplex attempt. Butcher goes for his own suplex from the apron, pretty much misses the board but still picks up the win.
Necro Butcher vs Mad Man Pondo
This match is pretty lightbulb heavy, what with the ropes being covered with them. It gets pretty ridiculous really quickly as the ring is soon covered with broken glass, the match soundtracked by the crunching of glass as they try to move around the ring. Pondo spends a lot of time trying to create structures to throw Butcher through, with every successful move buying him more time to build a fancier structure. Highlights include a horrifically sloppy DDT from the top by Pondo onto a bridge of bulbs over two chairs, a bloodsoaked Butcher hurling Pondo from the top rope like a javellin into a bin full of lightbulbs and a nasty looking senton by Pondo through lightbulbs onto Butcher. The end sees Pondo set up his most ridiculous structure yet, with bulbs wedged between two ladders, barely staying up, before superplexing Necro's near lifeless body into it (not through it, due to lack of elevation) for the win. The camera zooms in on Necro's arm just spewing blood, with a big chunk of flesh hanging off as someone yells for an ambulance. A remarkable spectacle.
Necro Butcher vs JC Bailey
This is a CZW match, but because it's "unsanctioned", it's held in the basement of the arena with no fans present. There is a barbed wire cage set up, with a belt hanging above it, with the winner being the first man to grab the belt. Necro doesn't even wait for Bailey to get to the cage, battering him with some nasty strikes. Bailey is smaller than Necro, so relies on both his speed and some convenient weapons to get an advantage. Bailey ramming Necro with a shopping trolley with lightbulbs taped to the front is pretty choice. In the cage, Necro takes more punishment, until hitting a double powerbomb, first into the side of the cage (smashing some conveniently placed lightbulbs), then into the mat. Like the Mitch Page match, this feels like a real nasty fight, with the bare minimum of setting up of weapons as most are already in place. When Bailey does takes some time to set up a pane of glass over the Butcher, it backfires, as Necro hurls him off the top and smashes the glass. The end sees Bailey set a load of bulbs over Necro, hit a big senton from the top, then climb the cage to take the title. Lots of fun
Necro Butcher vs Toby Klein
This is fantastic. Again, as with the best matches on this disc, there was a minimum of setting up complex spots, and more beating the other man up. I loved the use of strikes here, as both guys were content to exchange blows, with a few brutal looking punch exchanges having a palpable feeling of hate. The weapons shots seemed nastier than usual too, with Klein hurling a bulky old PC monitor at Butcher's head, and later pouring salt all over the wounds of Necro. A powerbomb off the bleachers to the floor by Klein was also tough-looking. Necro pulled a few shocks out of the bag too, first reversing a sunset flip powerpomb attempt with an unlikely flying headscissors to the floor, then barely glancing Klein with an insane flip dive from the top rope. The end sees Necro lock in an Asiatic spike sleeper, but a ref bump means the ref misses the tapout. A schoolboy by Klein nearly wins the match in the most unlikely way possible, but he finally gets the job done for real with a death valley driver onto an open chair.
Necro Butcher vs Corporal Robinson vs Brandon Prophet
This is a triple threat, with the guys who don't get pinned going through to the next round of a tournament. We kick off with Corp beating Prophet with weapons. This does feel like an initiation for Prophet, especially as this is pretty much a handicap match. Corp and Necro never tangle here. We get three chairs set up for a three-way punch-out, with Corp and Necro's punches on Prophet looking more impressive than his attempts. The veterans take it in turn to drop Prophet onto chairs. Necro spits lemon juice into Prophet's wounds, which has to suck. Prophet is made to look super tough, surviving a few nasty shots (including a piledriver onto a VCR) and he gets a two count by hitting a fisherman's suplex on Corp onto the lightbulbs. However, Necro breaks it up, despite not being out of the tournament if Corp gets pinned, so you can tell it's Prophet vs the world. In the end, Necro nails Prophet with a load of punches and Corp hits Boot Camp through a box coated with lightbulbs and barbed wire. This finishes Prophet. Pretty good fun.
Necro Butcher vs Tank
The majority of this match is the two big guys exchanging big punches, which is pretty fun. We get the seated slugfest, before Tank beats up Necro outside the ring. Necro returns the favour by lobbing chairs at a downed Tank, before the two get into another kneeling slugfest. Inside the ring, Tank nails Necro with more light-tubes and keeps up the assault. He hits a 2nd rope stomp through light-tubes for two, but a second attempt gets the win. I loved the punching, but it dragged a bit towards the end.
Wednesday 1 October 2014
XPW FreeFall
Sometimes, I hate wrestling
Scott Snot vs Vinny Massaro
Ever wanted to hear a joke beaten into the ground? At the start of this match, commentator Kriss Kloss doesn't know who Massaro is, so only refers to him as "Spagettios" for the whole match, despite his name being announced by the ring announcer. This isn't very good, as Snot is pretty poor. A poor bump off a Massaro kick sees him getting booed, and his offence is weak, including a soft looking bulldog. Massaro is better, with non-flashy, but effective moves, and he nicely folds up Snot on a belly-to-back suplex. Snot gets 2 on a Tomikaze, but Massaro picks up the win with a swank pump handle pile driver.
Evan Karagias vs Psychosis
Karagias is brought out as the new client of heel manager Kevin Kleinrock as his other client, the prissy Preston Ascott III is injured. Despite this, Karagias wrestles like a face, hitting a plancha after Psychosis bails to the floor, whilst Psychosis wrestles like a heel, hitting a low blow to take over, then picking up Karagias at 2 on a pin. Baffling. They then switch rolls, with Karagias doing a sexy dance to rile the crowd. Decent German suplex by Karagias. This is pretty sloppy on the part of both however, they just don't seem to be in tune. Nutty bump from Psychosis, as he slingshots from the ring to the floor with an elbow drop. The end sees Kleinrock distract Karagias by offering him a chair as he goes to the top. This allows Psychosis to recover and throw him from the top, before hitting a top rope legdrop to win. A bit of a letdown, as I hoped Psychosis could get something out of Karagias.
D vs Pogo the Clown
D comes to the ring slapping hands with the fans...then cuts a promo slagging them off, as no-one in XPW fucking understands heels and faces in wrestling. Kriss Kloss seems shocked by the wrestling "skills" of Pogo, as he throws some shitty armdrags. Despite Pogo's ineptness, this turns into a presentable big-vs-little match, as all Pogo has to do is stand there whilst the more able D throws himself at the clumsy clown. Pogo is in control following a missed D splash, before the ring gets surrounded by a group of unknown guys. Pogo and D both wield chairs to protect themselves, before D "shockingly" turns on the man he's just been fighting. This is all set up for an invasion storyline with D's old SCCW promotion. Of course, Kloss being the worst commentator ever puts over the threat of this new union by referring to them as jobbers and backyarders. Match was watchable, almost solely due to D.
Kaos vs Angel
Kaos is defending his TV title here in a gauntlet, and is accompanied by his stablemates GQ Money and Veronica Caine of the Enterprise. Despite a little hesitancy between both guys, this is worked at a good pace and is a decent little match. A crossbody to the floor by Angel is particularly good before Kaos wins with a piledriver from a powerbomb position. What is less good is that Angel's "hardcore homo" gimmick allows Kloss to crack "hilarious" gay jokes on commentary.
Kaos vs Chris Hamrick
In a terrible display of booking, the heel is at a disadvantage due to having just wrestled. Hamrick uses his veteran skills and freshness to dominate before a trademark bump through the ropes. He then takes another, more nuts bump by flipping backfirst onto the floor when dropkicked off the apron. Kaos wisely works over the back by whipping Hamrick into the railings, but Hamrick recovers and in a big spot hits a Van Terminator across the ring to dropkick a chair into the face of Kaos, who is still on the floor outside. Hamrick is doing everything he can to make this match memorable. The top rope legdrop only gets two. GQ Money takes advantage of a ref distraction to knock Hamrick off the top rope, and Kaos nails a top rope gourdbuster for the win. Easily the most entertaining match of the card thus far.
Kaos vs NOSAWA
NOSAWA schools the exhausted Kaos for a bit, before Kaos decides to totally non-sell his previous matches, and bounds around the ring, springboarding hither and thither. This match is an utter mess, with outside interference and belt shots in front of the ref, who seemingly couldn't care less. Kaos gets a blockbuster to win this gauntlet.
Juventud Guerrera vs Mosco De La Merced
This match is set up by Juvi turning on his La Familia stablemates (Psychosis, Halloween, Damien 666 and Merced) to join Rob Black's Black Army faction. This is all Juvi early on, even getting the highspot with a big plancha. The face Merced does get his own spot to shine, with a nutty diving swanton to the floor. Juvi nails two powerbombs and a weak chairshot, but these two don't seem to be clicking. A swift Juvi Driver ends a total squash.
Veronica Caine vs Lizzy Borden
Fuck me, Kloss makes the WORST fucking noises every time he sees a woman, making groaning noises like a confused virgin. This is a buck naked lumberjack paddle match, with the aim being to strip your opponent totally naked. Both are heels, accompanied by heel stables at ringside (the Black Army for Borden, the Enterprise for Caine). Rob Black bans the Enterprise from ringside, before we get to this appalling match. Weak wrestling starts off before it devolves to it's natural state as a catfight. The bout clearly only exists for titilation, with the crowd knowing that Black being a pornographer means there is a very good chance of actually seeing someone naked. But no, as Borden is about to remove Caine's top, the lights go out to a big groan from the crowd and they come back on to find Caine gone. Terrible booking. Afterwards, GQ Money cuts a promo lambasting the crowd and taking credit for turning off the lights. So the feud between the two heel stables continues. WHO THE FUCK IS THE AUDIENCE SUPPOSED TO BE CHEERING FOR?!?!
Steve Rizzono vs a Monkey
So right after being part of a major heel angle as part of the Enterprise, Rizzono is facing...a man dressed as a monkey. I say this, but Kloss spends the entire bloody match yelling "Rizzono is facing a real monkey! An actual monkey from a zoo!" like an unbearable berk. This is another largely pointless match, with the monkey controlling with some weak offence before winning with a facebuster. Afterwards, Rizzono gets beaten to shit by a mysterious masked man.
Webb vs GQ Money
Webb is dressed like karate Elvis and, by virute of GQ Money being an appalling irritant, is the more sympathetic character. Money is not much of a physical threat to Webb, so sneak attacks to gain an advantage. Neither guy exactly carries themself like world championship material, but I thought Webb looked pretty decent in places. I really liked him chaining from a side-Russian legsweep into an armbar/headscissors. They don't quite click in the match, with awkward moments like Webb watching GQ position himself on the top rope and hitting a move on him, and not trying to counter it due to mistiming when he would turn around. Money misses a terrible looking spinny top rop legdrop and Webb goes to work. I liked the snap he put into a spinning uranage, before tapping GQ Money out with a rear choke. Afterwards, the Black Army cut off Money's thinning hair.
The Sandman vs Supreme
This was set up by an earlier heel promo by Sandman, proclaiming himself a big star, before Supreme challenged him to fight for the Deathmatch title. Sandman is avoiding the hardcore style, so goes to the mat with a headlock on Supreme. I've commented in the past how I liked the way Supreme built towards barbed wire spots, but here he just hurls Sandman in the first few minutes. Sandman is happy to go outside to stall, so Supreme baseball dropkicks him into some more barbed wire outside the ring in a decent spot. Sandman starts using weapons himself, setting up a bed of thumbtacks that he ends up getting slammed into himself. Supreme goes up top, but the Enterprise, all fully recovered from their very recent beatings, interfere. A sloppy looking three-man cutter onto the tacks gifts Sandman the win. Not very good.
New Jack vs Vic Grimes
Right, this match is probably the most famous in XPW history, and not for the right reasons. This is the FreeFall match, a scaffold 40ft in the air with 12 tables stacked in the ring (four tables high, three tables across) with the aim being to through your opponent from the scaffold to the ring. So the story goes, New Jack hadn't forgiven Grimes for the incident at ECW Living Dangerously 2000, which left him temporarily blinded, and plotted him revenge for this match. Of which more later...
The match itself is largely awful, just two guys hitting each other with the odd weapon shot or walking around the ring punching each other. It features a lot of my least favourite hardcore match feature, the "weapon that will make you bleed and scar you, but isn't going to win you the match". Stuff like staple guns, forks or, in this case, pizza cutters, which I'm sure would really hurt, but would mutilate the opponent rather than incapacitate him. Hate that stuff. Eventually, they stop fighting and decide to slowly climb opposite sides of the scaffold. They brawl for a bit more up there, before Jack brings out a tazer. After a few tazer shots, he throws Grimes off the balcony, sending him off course so he only just grazes one of the top tables and bounces off the top rope in a truly horrifying scene. Honestly, Grimes was very lucky not to be seriously hurt or even dead, and it's really uncomfortable to watch. In a way, the perfect metaphor for this horrific show.
Scott Snot vs Vinny Massaro
Ever wanted to hear a joke beaten into the ground? At the start of this match, commentator Kriss Kloss doesn't know who Massaro is, so only refers to him as "Spagettios" for the whole match, despite his name being announced by the ring announcer. This isn't very good, as Snot is pretty poor. A poor bump off a Massaro kick sees him getting booed, and his offence is weak, including a soft looking bulldog. Massaro is better, with non-flashy, but effective moves, and he nicely folds up Snot on a belly-to-back suplex. Snot gets 2 on a Tomikaze, but Massaro picks up the win with a swank pump handle pile driver.
Evan Karagias vs Psychosis
Karagias is brought out as the new client of heel manager Kevin Kleinrock as his other client, the prissy Preston Ascott III is injured. Despite this, Karagias wrestles like a face, hitting a plancha after Psychosis bails to the floor, whilst Psychosis wrestles like a heel, hitting a low blow to take over, then picking up Karagias at 2 on a pin. Baffling. They then switch rolls, with Karagias doing a sexy dance to rile the crowd. Decent German suplex by Karagias. This is pretty sloppy on the part of both however, they just don't seem to be in tune. Nutty bump from Psychosis, as he slingshots from the ring to the floor with an elbow drop. The end sees Kleinrock distract Karagias by offering him a chair as he goes to the top. This allows Psychosis to recover and throw him from the top, before hitting a top rope legdrop to win. A bit of a letdown, as I hoped Psychosis could get something out of Karagias.
D vs Pogo the Clown
D comes to the ring slapping hands with the fans...then cuts a promo slagging them off, as no-one in XPW fucking understands heels and faces in wrestling. Kriss Kloss seems shocked by the wrestling "skills" of Pogo, as he throws some shitty armdrags. Despite Pogo's ineptness, this turns into a presentable big-vs-little match, as all Pogo has to do is stand there whilst the more able D throws himself at the clumsy clown. Pogo is in control following a missed D splash, before the ring gets surrounded by a group of unknown guys. Pogo and D both wield chairs to protect themselves, before D "shockingly" turns on the man he's just been fighting. This is all set up for an invasion storyline with D's old SCCW promotion. Of course, Kloss being the worst commentator ever puts over the threat of this new union by referring to them as jobbers and backyarders. Match was watchable, almost solely due to D.
Kaos vs Angel
Kaos is defending his TV title here in a gauntlet, and is accompanied by his stablemates GQ Money and Veronica Caine of the Enterprise. Despite a little hesitancy between both guys, this is worked at a good pace and is a decent little match. A crossbody to the floor by Angel is particularly good before Kaos wins with a piledriver from a powerbomb position. What is less good is that Angel's "hardcore homo" gimmick allows Kloss to crack "hilarious" gay jokes on commentary.
Kaos vs Chris Hamrick
In a terrible display of booking, the heel is at a disadvantage due to having just wrestled. Hamrick uses his veteran skills and freshness to dominate before a trademark bump through the ropes. He then takes another, more nuts bump by flipping backfirst onto the floor when dropkicked off the apron. Kaos wisely works over the back by whipping Hamrick into the railings, but Hamrick recovers and in a big spot hits a Van Terminator across the ring to dropkick a chair into the face of Kaos, who is still on the floor outside. Hamrick is doing everything he can to make this match memorable. The top rope legdrop only gets two. GQ Money takes advantage of a ref distraction to knock Hamrick off the top rope, and Kaos nails a top rope gourdbuster for the win. Easily the most entertaining match of the card thus far.
Kaos vs NOSAWA
NOSAWA schools the exhausted Kaos for a bit, before Kaos decides to totally non-sell his previous matches, and bounds around the ring, springboarding hither and thither. This match is an utter mess, with outside interference and belt shots in front of the ref, who seemingly couldn't care less. Kaos gets a blockbuster to win this gauntlet.
Juventud Guerrera vs Mosco De La Merced
This match is set up by Juvi turning on his La Familia stablemates (Psychosis, Halloween, Damien 666 and Merced) to join Rob Black's Black Army faction. This is all Juvi early on, even getting the highspot with a big plancha. The face Merced does get his own spot to shine, with a nutty diving swanton to the floor. Juvi nails two powerbombs and a weak chairshot, but these two don't seem to be clicking. A swift Juvi Driver ends a total squash.
Veronica Caine vs Lizzy Borden
Fuck me, Kloss makes the WORST fucking noises every time he sees a woman, making groaning noises like a confused virgin. This is a buck naked lumberjack paddle match, with the aim being to strip your opponent totally naked. Both are heels, accompanied by heel stables at ringside (the Black Army for Borden, the Enterprise for Caine). Rob Black bans the Enterprise from ringside, before we get to this appalling match. Weak wrestling starts off before it devolves to it's natural state as a catfight. The bout clearly only exists for titilation, with the crowd knowing that Black being a pornographer means there is a very good chance of actually seeing someone naked. But no, as Borden is about to remove Caine's top, the lights go out to a big groan from the crowd and they come back on to find Caine gone. Terrible booking. Afterwards, GQ Money cuts a promo lambasting the crowd and taking credit for turning off the lights. So the feud between the two heel stables continues. WHO THE FUCK IS THE AUDIENCE SUPPOSED TO BE CHEERING FOR?!?!
Steve Rizzono vs a Monkey
So right after being part of a major heel angle as part of the Enterprise, Rizzono is facing...a man dressed as a monkey. I say this, but Kloss spends the entire bloody match yelling "Rizzono is facing a real monkey! An actual monkey from a zoo!" like an unbearable berk. This is another largely pointless match, with the monkey controlling with some weak offence before winning with a facebuster. Afterwards, Rizzono gets beaten to shit by a mysterious masked man.
Webb vs GQ Money
Webb is dressed like karate Elvis and, by virute of GQ Money being an appalling irritant, is the more sympathetic character. Money is not much of a physical threat to Webb, so sneak attacks to gain an advantage. Neither guy exactly carries themself like world championship material, but I thought Webb looked pretty decent in places. I really liked him chaining from a side-Russian legsweep into an armbar/headscissors. They don't quite click in the match, with awkward moments like Webb watching GQ position himself on the top rope and hitting a move on him, and not trying to counter it due to mistiming when he would turn around. Money misses a terrible looking spinny top rop legdrop and Webb goes to work. I liked the snap he put into a spinning uranage, before tapping GQ Money out with a rear choke. Afterwards, the Black Army cut off Money's thinning hair.
The Sandman vs Supreme
This was set up by an earlier heel promo by Sandman, proclaiming himself a big star, before Supreme challenged him to fight for the Deathmatch title. Sandman is avoiding the hardcore style, so goes to the mat with a headlock on Supreme. I've commented in the past how I liked the way Supreme built towards barbed wire spots, but here he just hurls Sandman in the first few minutes. Sandman is happy to go outside to stall, so Supreme baseball dropkicks him into some more barbed wire outside the ring in a decent spot. Sandman starts using weapons himself, setting up a bed of thumbtacks that he ends up getting slammed into himself. Supreme goes up top, but the Enterprise, all fully recovered from their very recent beatings, interfere. A sloppy looking three-man cutter onto the tacks gifts Sandman the win. Not very good.
New Jack vs Vic Grimes
Right, this match is probably the most famous in XPW history, and not for the right reasons. This is the FreeFall match, a scaffold 40ft in the air with 12 tables stacked in the ring (four tables high, three tables across) with the aim being to through your opponent from the scaffold to the ring. So the story goes, New Jack hadn't forgiven Grimes for the incident at ECW Living Dangerously 2000, which left him temporarily blinded, and plotted him revenge for this match. Of which more later...
The match itself is largely awful, just two guys hitting each other with the odd weapon shot or walking around the ring punching each other. It features a lot of my least favourite hardcore match feature, the "weapon that will make you bleed and scar you, but isn't going to win you the match". Stuff like staple guns, forks or, in this case, pizza cutters, which I'm sure would really hurt, but would mutilate the opponent rather than incapacitate him. Hate that stuff. Eventually, they stop fighting and decide to slowly climb opposite sides of the scaffold. They brawl for a bit more up there, before Jack brings out a tazer. After a few tazer shots, he throws Grimes off the balcony, sending him off course so he only just grazes one of the top tables and bounces off the top rope in a truly horrifying scene. Honestly, Grimes was very lucky not to be seriously hurt or even dead, and it's really uncomfortable to watch. In a way, the perfect metaphor for this horrific show.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)