IWO - Rumble On The River 27/5/2000

So I saw this show added on Powerbomb.TV, and there was something about it that just looked too odd to not watch. Future indy legends, early 90's indy has-beens, some never-weres, an 80's WWF relic and what looked to be a ludicrous main event. The commentary mentions a battle royal, which would explain the name of the show, but we never see this. Still, I kinda enjoyed all this.

Ice vs Billy Reil

No expense spared on the gear by either buy, with Ice wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and trousers and Reil sporting a vest and trousers. They work the opening segments to put over Ice’s power advantage as he chucks Reil around the ring, making it all the stranger when both men go to the mat when they collide on a shoulderblock. Reil hit a nice flying headscissors that sent Ice face first into the mat before a springboard crossbody to the floor that sends him hurtling into Ice’s face. Ice in turn comes back by just punching him in the dick twice. Ice hits a powerslam where he looks close to dumping Reil on his head and an actual decent dropkick. This devolves into a soulless move-swapping affair, before Reil misses a moonsault and Ice finishes with a powerbomb, dropping Reil halfway through the move.

Da Hit Squad vs the Metal Maniac & KC Thunder

Man, if the Metal Maniac wasn’t in prime shape as ECW jobber in 1993, he’s definitely ballooned up to twice the size seven years later. Just as I note this, one of the commentators hilariously claims “Metal Maniac looking the best I’ve ever seen him”. His partner, KC Thunder, isn’t exactly an impressive specimen either, mid-forties, soft of body and with high slung multi-coloured tights. In theory, Da Hit Squad should massacre these guys. In reality, Yr 2000 DHS clearly don’t have the clout to do this, as alarm bells start ringing when both Maff and Mack take comedy pratfalls to sell for the referee. Da Hit Squad are utter pros here, stooging and bumping for the old men. Thunder even no-sells getting choked in the corner, just getting back to his feet and continuing. Eventually, a double-team stungun gives DHS control. They don’t work as stiff as usual, but they’re fun in control and Thunder does well it well. We get a hot tag to Maniac, who hits a few lazy clotheslines but collides with Thunder. DHS hit double 2^nd rope headbutts and get the win. Obviously, Da Hit Squad massacring these opponents would have been more fun, but they do enough to keep this entertaining.

Crazy Ivan vs Judas Young

This was much faster paced, and was pretty decent on the whole. Decent juniors wrestler to start, before Ivan takes a crazy bump getting hiptossed from the ring to the floor. Young follows him out with a nice flip dive. Ivan hits a few nice moves here, with an interesting Side Russian Legsweep variation (where he chucks him aside rather than back to the mat) a big top rope elbow and a nice top rope legdrop. Young has a terrible “punk rock” look, but he’s got a young Cherry (of Deuce’n’Domino fame) as his valet, and he looks pretty comfortable in the ring. End sees Ivan miss a corner charge, but when Young hits a crossbody, Ivan rolls through and holds the tights for the win. Of note: this is the last decisive finish of the show.

Homicide vs Low-Ki

Low-Ki is defending his IWO Jr heavyweight belt. In a show with portly indy-never-weres and semi-mobile “legends” (see next match), this match really stand out. Even with Ivan/Young working a pace above the rest of the show in the last match, these two really feel like they’re working in a vacuum, both laying in their strikes, moving with a lovely fluidity and doing clever things that enhance their match. Loved Low-Ki reversing an Irish whip and quickly chaining four-or-five moves together, with a pace that makes you believe Homicide wouldn’t be able to get his bearings and stop it. Homicide in turn decides to focus on Ki’s legs, catching a kick into a leg whip, hitting a top rope version, then trying to smash it against the ring post with a chair, Ki only just escaping. Homicide hits the Cop Killa, which must have blown minds in 2000, months before Shane Helms put the move on national TV. He doesn’t cover immediately, taking off his wrist tape first oddly, so he only gets two. Ki fires back with a series of chops and hits the Ki Krusher 99, but also sells his beating, making a slow cover to get a two count. Loved Homicide nailing a series of clubbing forearms, with Ki barely staying on his feet, before a huge lariat puts him down for two. They go to the floor, brawling in the crowd, throwing each other into chairs with fans barely out of the way, and the ref calls it off. Match of the night, obviously.

Beau James vs Cousin Luke

So here’s the thing. This match is awful. Really bad. Cousin Luke wasn’t exactly ripping up trees in his mid 80’s WWF heyday, and he’s 15 years older, plus substantially heavier, in this match. It’s fair to say he’s barely mobile and yet – and yet – the fans go as nuts for this as for the Ki/Homicide match. You could say this match is an advert for minimalism. They do very little here, all stalling a schtick, and get a big reaction doing it. Luke doesn’t bump once, the majority of the offence here is done by James’s manager Frankie Goombaa choking Luke with a cane behind the refs back, it ends in a shitty DQ when James attacks Luke with Luke’s own horseshoe…and it all works. Dreadful match, but you can’t blame them for working to the crowd.

Manny Fernandez vs Rukas

Given that this was an early 2000 New Jersey indy, and the Powerbomb.tv listing has his name as “Ruckus”, I was very excitedly expecting this to be the Ragin’ Bull vs CZW legend Ruckus. However, the graphic on screen gives us “Rukas” and out came a guy in his 40’s, looking like a compact Ron Simmons. Still, I enjoyed this while it was on. Both guys lay their shit in, with big fists, a nice short back elbow by Rukas and a big clothesline by Fernandez. They brawl on the floor, exchanging weapon shots, and back in Fernandez hits a nasty top rope knee drop. It’s short, sub 10 minutes, but it’s non-stop and it’s well-executed. Fernandez goes for a top rope superplex through an ironing board, but Da Hit Squad return and beat him down for the DQ. Post match, Low Ki comes out to help Fernandez clear the ring, and I’d be well up for that tag team. Fun stuff.

3PW Broadcast From Hell

Historically, I've not enjoyed the 3PW shows I've reviewed over the past few years, but when Lovefilm sent another one through my door, I felt it would be unfair not to give it a go. The result? This is easily the best 3PW show I've seen yet. Not amazing, but pretty solid on the whole

Josh Daniels vs Damian Adams

The commentary team hype up the friendship between the two at the start of the match, and they have a nice even little sequence at the start, where Daniels has a slight advantage. Adams responds by slapping Daniels across the face to give a nice little heel/face divide. Adams hits a lovely Alabama Slam out of the corner, getting real snap on it. Daniels is able to fire back with a great German suplex that dumps Adams on his head. I was also pretty impressed with the commentary team, covering for an Adams superkick that only reaches the chest by pointing out how that would drive the air from your lungs. Adams crotches Daniels on the top rope, but a top rope rana is reversed to a huge powerbomb to give Daniels the win. Fun bout.

Da Hit Squad vs Roadkill & the Blue Meanie

Kinda hoping the three decent guys in this match are able to carry the Meanie. It’s really hard to buy the wimpy punches of the Meanie doing any damage to Monsta Mack and Dan Maff. There’s a fun face-off between Roadkill and Mack that culminates in a nice Mack powerslam. I dug Hit Squad using fun fat guy offence, hurling themselves into Roadkill from many angles. It does feel like Da Hit Squad are slowing down a lot of their offence to allow their opponents to keep up. Maff takes a horrible bump for a Roadkill TKO, landing on his feet and leaping about a foot in the air. Roadkill goes to the top like an idiot, despite Maff being right new to him, so he gets taken out, allowing Da Hit Squad to hit a figure-four/frog splash combo for the win. Had decent spells, but too many poor bits.

Homicide vs Xavier

Basic mat stuff to start until Homicide suddenly goes into overdrive, nailing a massive tope, the cutter, a Yakuza kick and a big Northern Lights suplex within a few minutes. He’s in total control, until he hurts his back, and Xavier wisely zeroes in on it. Love the spear to the back by Xavier, which looks great. He follows this up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. There’s an awkward reversals series stemming from a sunset flip, but this is generally pretty solid. Loved Xavier bending Homicide almost in half with a Mexican surfboard. Homicide goes for the Cop Killer, but his back is too hurt to lift him, and Xavier hits a backstabber and a Camel Clutch to retain control. I loved the way that Homicide regains control as they head to the outside, as he’s portrayed as being in his element in a streetfighting environment. He hurls Xavier into the railings and nails him with chairshots. We do head into moves overkill at the end of the match, as they really bust out far too much, with powerbombs and 450 splashes before Homicide is finally able to hit the Cop Killer for the win. Enjoyed this more than I expected, was impressed with some logical storytelling and great selling by Homicide.

Balls Mahoney vs NOSAWA

Feels odd to say, but I dug some of Mahoney’s early matwork, especially hitting some vicious crossfaces when he’s got NOSAWA in an STF. We don’t get enough of this, sadly, as they fight outside, using a pizza cutter on each other’s foreheads to prompt profuse bleeding. This bit is also extremely uninteresting. NOSAWA does hit a lovely kick to the face, but a Shining Wizard is blocked with a lowblow. The Nutcracker Suite only gets two for Balls, but he gets to hit a second version off the apron through a table to win. Really, they wasted a great opening to have a pretty dull hardcore match, which reached it’s nadir with the pizza cutter segment.

Gary Wolfe vs Joey Matthews

3PW seemed dedicated with making Gary Wolfe into a star, and it never seemed to work. Probably something to do with him being terrible. Here, he’s defending the title against Matthews, who is accompanied by Matt Striker and Rob Eckos, the future Robbie E. Matthews does a lot of stalling to start, and Wolfe hits him with a chair a lot, even stealing Raven’s drop toehold spot. Wolfe doesn’t give Matthews much, putting him through a table with an elbow drop from the apron. Matthew isn’t able to get any form of control until Striker provides a distraction, and even this control is temporary as Matthews accidentally puts Striker through a table and eats a DVD for the Wolfe win. Pretty terrible.

AJ Styles vs Kid Kash

While some of the prior matches have been better than expected, it’s when you see how good someone like AJ is that you know why he’s still a big star 12 years later. He looks so crisp here, hitting a lovely superkick over the safety rail, and there’s a great looking rana-Styles Clash attempt-rana sequence near the start. Everything Styles does looks crisp, and it has to be pointed out that Kash does his best to match him throughout. Styles hits a nasty looking brainbuster, and I appreciate him really locking in his pinfall attempts. Kash only gets two from the Money Maker, and his attempt to put AJ away with a top rope rana sees Styles reverse to a super Styles Clash for the win. Really enjoyed this.

Jerry Lawler vs Terry Funk

With this taking place in Philly, WWE employee Lawler is very much the heel against ECW alumnus Funk. Lawler looks in better shape than Funk, leaner and steadier on his feet, so he’s able to get heat on Funk by beating him down with a series of crisp punches, each one breaking Funk down a little more until he’s bleeding on the mat. Funk sells them beautifully too, invoking sympathy with his slightly-dazed selling as Lawler taunts and jabs away at him. Lawler hits the second rope fistdrop on a convulsing Funk, who instantly stops moving like cattle shot with a bolt gun. Beautiful. Funk makes a comeback with a crowd-popping low blow, then legdrops King through a table. Lawler is still too strong, however, and regains control to hit a piledriver for two. We do get a bit of overkill here, as another piledriver also gets two, before Lawler hits a third outside on the concrete. Lawler does some great trolling by introducing “a move a friend from the WWE taught me”, before hitting a poor stunner for two. The portrayal of Funk as superhuman does start getting a bit ridiculous, especially as a FOURTH piledriver through a table only gets two, but Lawler does such a good job of riling up the crowd that you don’t notice. Funk gets the win with a roll-up, ending a terrific match.

Ron Killings vs Kid Kash

This is a bonus match on the DVD which is taken from another show, and like the last 3PW show I reviewed, Killings is a lot of fun as a showboating heel. Love him hitting a big slam and doing a muscle pose. His overconfidence doesn’t pay off and he crotches himself on the top rope after a failed axe kick. Kash hits a great flip dive, but things swiftly go down the pan as they take a contrived “walk-while-we-hit-each-other-occasionally” stroll to the balcony. Killings hits a big powerbomb off the balcony through some tables, and they then decide to brawl back to the ring. That segment really ruined the flow of the match, and it doesn’t really recover, despite Killings flashy personality riling up the crowd. Kash makes a few nice comebacks, but Killings hits a gourdbuster for the win. Bit of a missed opportunity.