IWO - Rumble On The River 27/5/2000

So I saw this show added on Powerbomb.TV, and there was something about it that just looked too odd to not watch. Future indy legends, early 90's indy has-beens, some never-weres, an 80's WWF relic and what looked to be a ludicrous main event. The commentary mentions a battle royal, which would explain the name of the show, but we never see this. Still, I kinda enjoyed all this.

Ice vs Billy Reil

No expense spared on the gear by either buy, with Ice wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and trousers and Reil sporting a vest and trousers. They work the opening segments to put over Ice’s power advantage as he chucks Reil around the ring, making it all the stranger when both men go to the mat when they collide on a shoulderblock. Reil hit a nice flying headscissors that sent Ice face first into the mat before a springboard crossbody to the floor that sends him hurtling into Ice’s face. Ice in turn comes back by just punching him in the dick twice. Ice hits a powerslam where he looks close to dumping Reil on his head and an actual decent dropkick. This devolves into a soulless move-swapping affair, before Reil misses a moonsault and Ice finishes with a powerbomb, dropping Reil halfway through the move.

Da Hit Squad vs the Metal Maniac & KC Thunder

Man, if the Metal Maniac wasn’t in prime shape as ECW jobber in 1993, he’s definitely ballooned up to twice the size seven years later. Just as I note this, one of the commentators hilariously claims “Metal Maniac looking the best I’ve ever seen him”. His partner, KC Thunder, isn’t exactly an impressive specimen either, mid-forties, soft of body and with high slung multi-coloured tights. In theory, Da Hit Squad should massacre these guys. In reality, Yr 2000 DHS clearly don’t have the clout to do this, as alarm bells start ringing when both Maff and Mack take comedy pratfalls to sell for the referee. Da Hit Squad are utter pros here, stooging and bumping for the old men. Thunder even no-sells getting choked in the corner, just getting back to his feet and continuing. Eventually, a double-team stungun gives DHS control. They don’t work as stiff as usual, but they’re fun in control and Thunder does well it well. We get a hot tag to Maniac, who hits a few lazy clotheslines but collides with Thunder. DHS hit double 2^nd rope headbutts and get the win. Obviously, Da Hit Squad massacring these opponents would have been more fun, but they do enough to keep this entertaining.

Crazy Ivan vs Judas Young

This was much faster paced, and was pretty decent on the whole. Decent juniors wrestler to start, before Ivan takes a crazy bump getting hiptossed from the ring to the floor. Young follows him out with a nice flip dive. Ivan hits a few nice moves here, with an interesting Side Russian Legsweep variation (where he chucks him aside rather than back to the mat) a big top rope elbow and a nice top rope legdrop. Young has a terrible “punk rock” look, but he’s got a young Cherry (of Deuce’n’Domino fame) as his valet, and he looks pretty comfortable in the ring. End sees Ivan miss a corner charge, but when Young hits a crossbody, Ivan rolls through and holds the tights for the win. Of note: this is the last decisive finish of the show.

Homicide vs Low-Ki

Low-Ki is defending his IWO Jr heavyweight belt. In a show with portly indy-never-weres and semi-mobile “legends” (see next match), this match really stand out. Even with Ivan/Young working a pace above the rest of the show in the last match, these two really feel like they’re working in a vacuum, both laying in their strikes, moving with a lovely fluidity and doing clever things that enhance their match. Loved Low-Ki reversing an Irish whip and quickly chaining four-or-five moves together, with a pace that makes you believe Homicide wouldn’t be able to get his bearings and stop it. Homicide in turn decides to focus on Ki’s legs, catching a kick into a leg whip, hitting a top rope version, then trying to smash it against the ring post with a chair, Ki only just escaping. Homicide hits the Cop Killa, which must have blown minds in 2000, months before Shane Helms put the move on national TV. He doesn’t cover immediately, taking off his wrist tape first oddly, so he only gets two. Ki fires back with a series of chops and hits the Ki Krusher 99, but also sells his beating, making a slow cover to get a two count. Loved Homicide nailing a series of clubbing forearms, with Ki barely staying on his feet, before a huge lariat puts him down for two. They go to the floor, brawling in the crowd, throwing each other into chairs with fans barely out of the way, and the ref calls it off. Match of the night, obviously.

Beau James vs Cousin Luke

So here’s the thing. This match is awful. Really bad. Cousin Luke wasn’t exactly ripping up trees in his mid 80’s WWF heyday, and he’s 15 years older, plus substantially heavier, in this match. It’s fair to say he’s barely mobile and yet – and yet – the fans go as nuts for this as for the Ki/Homicide match. You could say this match is an advert for minimalism. They do very little here, all stalling a schtick, and get a big reaction doing it. Luke doesn’t bump once, the majority of the offence here is done by James’s manager Frankie Goombaa choking Luke with a cane behind the refs back, it ends in a shitty DQ when James attacks Luke with Luke’s own horseshoe…and it all works. Dreadful match, but you can’t blame them for working to the crowd.

Manny Fernandez vs Rukas

Given that this was an early 2000 New Jersey indy, and the Powerbomb.tv listing has his name as “Ruckus”, I was very excitedly expecting this to be the Ragin’ Bull vs CZW legend Ruckus. However, the graphic on screen gives us “Rukas” and out came a guy in his 40’s, looking like a compact Ron Simmons. Still, I enjoyed this while it was on. Both guys lay their shit in, with big fists, a nice short back elbow by Rukas and a big clothesline by Fernandez. They brawl on the floor, exchanging weapon shots, and back in Fernandez hits a nasty top rope knee drop. It’s short, sub 10 minutes, but it’s non-stop and it’s well-executed. Fernandez goes for a top rope superplex through an ironing board, but Da Hit Squad return and beat him down for the DQ. Post match, Low Ki comes out to help Fernandez clear the ring, and I’d be well up for that tag team. Fun stuff.