Tuesday 10 July 2018

Freelance Wrestling - The Decline of Mid-Western Civilization


Anthony Henry vs Space Monkey
Perfectly weighted opener, with Space Monkey always looking competitive, whilst never realistically feeling like he was going to win. Henry controls from the off by jumping Monkey at the bell and whilst Space Monkey does get in a big tope, Henry hits a big STO on the apron to establish his shine. Henry comes across well in his control, confident enough to allow Space Monkey to get a few kicks in with the knowledge that he’ll be able to catch one and use it to his advantage. The cockiness allows an opening for Space Monkey, as Henry misses a top rope stomp (having disdainfully kicked his opponent into place, which I loved), and Space Monkey comes back with a huge tornado DDT. Space Monkey’s little run of offence is decent – loved him monkey flipping Henry into the corner – but Henry is just a better wrestler, and he avoids a strike, hits a spinning TKO and a nasty looking Rude Awakening for the victory.

Arik Cannon & Ethan Page vs The Four Star Heroes (Matt Knicks & Chris Castro)
Hadn’t seen Cannon in years, and he looked far more credible than in his early 2000s binbag leather attire. He was always a good wrestler, but that outfit was so bushleague. There’s some slightly overlong opening schtick about Page and Castro both being pudgy guys, they work a “slam reversal” sequence for far too long, but the match really kicks off when Knicks and Cannon get in, working a fluid looking sequence. Knicks becomes face-in-peril, with Cannon hitting a lovely looking seated necksnap, though this doesn’t last too long. Page and Castro do at least pay off the earlier nonsense by slamming each other and we get a big melee. Liked Cannon hitting a gourdbuster on Knicks over Page’s back, though I still don’t like Page’s clunky looking between-the-rope cutter. The end sees Knicks avoid the Glimmering Warlock and roll up Cannon for three. Some good stuff here within the comedy, this could have been really solid if paced a bit better. After the match, Page turns on Cannon, and I suspect a more vicious edge might suit Page better than the comedy.

Gringo Loco vs Robert Anthony
This starts with Anthony jumping Loco as he walks to the ring, and is a big old weapons brawl. The commentators mention early that Loco is making a return from a heart attack, and this feels like a strange choice of match to have so early into a return. Anthony beats him around the ringside area, including a big powerbomb on the stage. Anthony does some really half-hearted bumping in this match, with the first coming when he tries powerbombing Loco on an overturned chair and instead takes a shitty backdrop. Loco hits a huge dive to the floor from the top of a ladder, which looks insane. Anthony takes another weak bump when he gets dropkicked onto a ladder that bridges the ring and the barriers, but it’s made up for when Loco hits a huge flipping swanton onto him. There’s no proper end to the match however, as Anthony brings out a taser to audible shock from the audience. The commentators bring up Loco’s heart attack again…and then Anthony tases him. Having a big angle like this totally depends on how the crowd buy it, and here they seem totally sold on it, with real rage directed towards Anthony. This could have gone down badly, either laughed at by the crowd or seeing the audience turn on the promotion, but they just about got away with it.

Xia Brookside vs Kylie Rae
This is face vs face, for Brookside’s IPW:UK women’s title. Rae seems to be working a gimmick not dissimilar to early Bayley, all friendly and smiley. Liked the initial mat exchanges, all cleanly worked, before Rae starts to up the ante with a big shot to the face. Brookside comes back with a rana and a neat superkick to the face of a kneeling Rae. Brookside also hits a nice running knee. Rae gets a nice looking crossface by grabbing Brookside’s arm from nowhere, but when she goes up top she gets distracted by former partner GPA, and Brookside is able to hit the Iconoclasm for the win. This was really enjoyable stuff.

Darin Corbin vs Joey Ryan
This is for Corbin’s Freelance title. Corbin keeps threatening to have a match here, but Ryan is doing everything in his power to bring this back to his bullshit. Call me old before my time, but Ryan’s continued demands to “Touch my dick” are the antithesis of funny. It’s frustrating, because the few times he actually does some wrestling, he’s more interesting than the rather pedestrian Corbin. We get Corbin falling facefirst into Ryan’s crotch and hurting himself, then the Ryan dick flip before Corbin hits a cutter for the win. This was trash.

20 Man Rumble
As I think I’ve said in the past, it’s hard for me to really get to grips with indy rumbles, as often I don’t know who half the guys are, what the hierarchy is and it’s harder for guys to impress with their ring time. Here, the lines are a bit easier to read. The first two entrants, Isaias Velazquez and Stevie Fierce are both fan favourites, and you get the vibe early on that these two could be iron men. In contrast, the next man in is chubby comedy wrestler BD Smooth, so you know he’s not long for the match. Velazquez and Fierce don’t spend much time actually wrestling in the match though, preferring to hang out on the floor killing time. There’s some highlights in the match, with certain wrestlers making the most of their chances to stand out. Chainsaw King looks very impressive, eliminating one wrestler with a huge press slam to the floor and another with a chokeslam on the apron. Anthony Henry’s entry finally brings Fierce to life, with the two of them brawling round the ring. Joey Ryan comes in, much to my horror, and he dickflips everyone in the match, until the two female entrants Hawlee Layne and Shotzi Blackheart clotheslines him to the floor. Arik Cannon comes out at 19, and you just know Ethan Page is going to be #20, and Cannon is so focussed on his former partner that he gets thrown out before Page enters. As predicted, Fierce and Velazquez are the iron men, lasting until the final two, before a returning Henry hits Fierce with a neckbreaker and Velazquez throws him out for the win. Aside from the Ryan nonsense, pretty good stuff.

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