Andre the Giant vs Moondog Rex
Quick little squash to show Andre’s physical dominance. Some
fun little touches with Andre booting Rex up the arse as he tried to cower in
the ropes, and I liked the raw power of Andre lifting Rex off the mat by the
belt. Big boot and splash get the win.
Battle Royale
Real who’s who of names here….Hogan, Orndorff, Dick Murdoch,
Mil Mascaras, Pat Patterson….and Salvatore Bellomo. Even the commentators don’t
know who’s in there, as Gorilla Monsoon occasionally blurts out “Is that Alexis
Smirnoff in there?” Fun spot sees Murdoch and Adrian Adonis try and take out
Andre in the corner, only to get shrugged off with ease. Terrible camerawork
means we almost miss Big John Studd getting eliminated by Hogan then dragging
him out of the ring. Somehow, as we hit the final furlongs of the match,
Smirnoff and Tiger Chun Lee are still in there, with Smirnoff making the final
four. Alexis is soon dispatched, taking a massive bump over the top from an
Andre atomic drop, before the Giant eliminates Murdoch and Adonis to win. This
was fun.
Andre the Giant vs Black Gordman & Great Goliath
Handicap match, and pre-match Alfred Hayes highlights the
empty front rows, as promoters were so worried about Andre throwing his
opponents into the crowd, that they left those seats empty. Fans eat up all the
size spots, laughing at Gordman trying to slam Andre and loving Andre placing
Gordman on the top rope and slapping him. Goliath tries a go behind, but Andre
rams his backside at him so hard, he flies out into the empty front row. Just as the one-sided beating is wearing
thin, Andre misses a corner charge and Gordman works him over with a concealed
weapon. No matter, as Andre soon shows off his power, locking both men in a big
body scissors and hitting a monkey flip on both men at the same time. Andre
press slams Gordman onto Goliath and sits on the pair for the easy win.
Andre the Giant vs Johnny Rodz, Jack Evans & Joe Butcher
Nova
Obviously not the Canadian high-flyer Jack Evans, though I’d
love to see that. Andre repeats the body scissors/monkey flip spot from the
previous handicap squash, so it was an obvious crowd pleaser. All three heels
try a dogpile pin, which sees Andre power all three off. Nova and Rodz clash
heads and Andre piles all three up and sits on them for the easy victory.
Andre the Giant vs Gorilla Monsoon
This is a boxing match from Puerto Rico, and is a lot of
daft fun. None of this resembles a classic boxing match, with Monsoon punching
Andre’s legs and hitting a spinning backfist of all things. Round 1 ends with
Monsoon barely standing up, but he starts the second round in control until
Andre hits a headbutt and a butt splash. Not strictly boxing moves. Andre hits
three big roundhouses to the staggered Monsoon and stops him with an overhead
punch for the KO in round 3. Stupid, but fun.
Andre The Giant & Jimmy Snuka vs The Wild Samoans
Man, Snuka is a pretty useless tag partner here. The first
half of the match is just the Samoans destroying him whilst Andre watches on
from the apron. To the point where now and then Andre will just get in the ring
to hit a Samoan, probably through boredom. I did love Afa stopping Snuka
getting a tag with a swift headbutt from the floor. Finally, Snuka tags in
Andre to a MASSIVE pop, who blitzes the Samoans. Andre hits a big boot and
Snuka hits a splash from Andre’s shoulders to pick up the win. The Samoans were
fun on offence, so this was pretty decent.
Andre the Giant vs The Masked Superstar
Really enjoyed this. There’s a great visual early on where
Superstar has a headlock on Andre, who just stands up with Superstar dangling
from his neck. Andre dominates until Superstar hits a knee to the back and then
wisely barrages Andre with blows until he falls to the floor. Superstar locks
on a Cobra Clutch, but Andre escapes rather cheaply by trying to remove his
opponents’ mask. Big boot and a butt splash seal the win.
Andre the Giant & SD Jones vs Ken Patera & Big John
Studd
More angle than match, but what an angle. The heels isolate
Jones early and work him over. Jones tags out, but is thrown over the top by
Patera, hitting his head on the metal railings in the process. The heels swarm
Andre, leading to the match getting thrown out, and they get scissors from
Bobby Heenan to cut Andre’s hair. Hot angle to set up….
Andre the Giant vs Ken Patera
This is billed as the revenge match and is from MSG. Patera
stalls to avoid the angry giant, but eventually gets caught by Andre, who
throttles Patera. The faces Patera makes as he gets swung back and forth are
hilarious. Patera gets very little offence, but ragdolls about all over the
match for Andre, pretty impressive considering Patera is no small guy. He’s
unable to escape the Giant, even outside the ring where he gets hurled into the
railings. Heenan attacks Andre with brass knuckles, which briefly slows him
down, and draws a DQ. Andre soon recovers and squashes both Heenan and Patera
in the corner. Really fun, made better by Patera’s commitment to getting
destroyed.
Andre the Giant vs Big John Studd
This is the Wrestlemania slam challenge. The DVD commentary
is done by Michael Cole and Tazz, but my DVD started skipping here, so I went
to the network version. Forgot how brief and one-sided this is. Andre chops
Studd to start before a long bearhug sequence. Andre maintains control and
easily slams Studd. Wasn’t much to it, but I don’t think anyone was hoping there
would be
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