WWF Mega Matches

Back in the early 2000's, before YouTube and discovering the indies, it was always a massive treat to discover wrestling on sale for cheap, no matter what it was, and those rare days where some wrestling would turn up in Cash Generator were an absolute joy. I still fondly remember finding 3 ECW PPV's on tape at £3 each, and snapping them up even though I wasn't a huge ECW fan. This tape I bought and watched it in full once, before it went into the small hamper I have of wrestling tapes and sat there until this week. Let's give it another watch

Tito Santana vs Earthquake
Tito goes into this match with the dirt-worst game plan possible, which is to totally underestimate the power of Quake. He tries go-behinds that see him rammed into the corner, tries shoulderblocks that he clearly is never going to win and gets caught by the big man when he tries a crossbody. He does try to work a body part but, despite having used a figure-four as a past finisher and knowing that working a leg would make it hard for Quake to support his weight, he instead decides to work the arm. This, of course, leave the other arm free, so Quake clubs him down and starts to go to work on Tito. Quake seems to be in "methodical house show" mode here, so his attack is pretty unexciting. I did like Tito managing to escape a bearhug by climbing the turnbuckle, whilst still in Quake's arms, to get better elevation. Flying forearm only gets two, so you know Quake is getting pushed here. A missed Tito dropkick sets up the usual finishing sequence for Earthquake, but Tugboat comes in before the seated splash to attack and give Quake the win by DQ. Dino Bravo and Rhythm & Blues enter the ring (to save the heel from an unprompted 2-on-1 assault mind you; Quake hadn't broken a single rule all match) before Hacksaw Duggan makes the save for Tito and Tugger with the 2x4. Lord Alfred Hayes describes this as a moral win for Tito. What the fucking fuck? Match was pretty dull.

Bobby Heenan vs Big Boss Man
You know this isn't going to be much of a match, but you also know this should be fun. Heenan is gold on the mic to start, begging Boss Man's forgiveness for all his mother jokes, saying he'd sent roses to Boss Man's mother and saying she was on the phone in the back to ask Boss Man not to fight the Brain. This is clearly gearing up to an ambush in the back (not picked up on by the announcers), and Boss Man thinks about leaving the ring, before quickly decimating the Brain in 30 seconds, pinning him with a foot. Mr Perfect tries to save his manager (so you know there was a backstage assault plan), but fails and Bobby gets a ball-and-chain dropped on his chest. Fun deal.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Sgt. Slaughter
Not much to this one. Slaughter takes a few nice bumps off Duggan's big goofy punches, before a flag to the back from General Adnam gives him the advantage. Slaughter looks to be maintaining focus on the back by hitting a backbreaker, but Duggan soon recovers and makes an abrupt comeback. Three point stance is interrupted by Adnam grabbing his leg, and Hacksaw chases him away to lose by DQ. Pointless.

Bret Hart vs the Barbarian
I like both guys, so this should be decent. Bret oddly goes against his usual logical instincts and decides to try and hiptoss the Barbarian, which fails, and this allows Barbarian to dominate with some power moves. Bret uses his speed advantage to avoid a 2nd rope elbow, and the Hart Attack clothesline is counted as a three in a botch by the slow, doddery old ref. He's terrible all match. Barbarian hits a lovely powerslam for the comeback, but when he drops down to counter a sunset flip, Bret in turn reverses that into a winning pinfall. Another match that's way too short on this tape.

Rhythm & Blues vs the Bushwhackers
By way of contrast, I'd prefer this match to be kept short. I've no idea why poor old Rhythm & Blues were forever paired with Luke and Butch. Valentine nails a lovely clothesline on Luke to take over, and the match is bearable when Valentine and Honky are in control. Butch comes in to break up a fair pinfall, then gets annoyed when Honky comes in to send him out to the floor. This seemingly makes it fair for Butch to level HTM with a guitar for the DQ. I fucking hate the Bushwhackers.

Hulk Hogan vs Dino Bravo
Earthquake is in Bravo's corner, so the Big Bossman is announced for Hogan's corner. This leads to a hilarious over-reaction by one girl in the crowd, who repeatedly shrieks with excitement. Scary. The match isn't much to speak about, though Hogan does his best to make it interesting. I did love him levelling Bravo with a single chop. Some Earthquake interference gives Bravo the advantage, and he keeps interfering throughout the match, with Bossman's only attempts to stop him being to slowly wander over, by which point the damage is done. Even Sean Mooney points out how useless the Bossman is here. Bravo's offence is really dull, all chokes and punches, and the only thing stopping a bearhug being tedious is how well Hogan sells it. Hogan has the smarts to nearly break it, before letting Bravo sinch it in again, to keep the crowd into the match. Bravo hits his finishing side suplex, but Hogan kicks out on two, Hulks up and swiftly hits the big boot and legdrop to win. Poor match.

Haku vs the British Bulldog
This must be early in the Bulldog's comeback, as he's only billed as "Davey Boy Smith" here. We come in joined in progress with Bulldog holding a sleeper. We've got two big lads who can move here, highlighted by a nice crossbody and a crucifix by Smith. He also takes a huge bump from a back bodydrop. Haku is pretty methodical here, and holds Smith in two consecutive restholds for a little bit too long. Bulldog gets little comebacks, but Haku is pretty good at cutting them off. Bulldog at one point breaks a sleeper, but ends up being hurled upside down to the corner. There is a midring collision, where Davey Boy somehow recovers quicker, despite being beaten up for the past 5-7 minutes. Davey locks in a sharpshooter, but Bobby Heenan pushes to rope to Haku to force a break. Bulldog sends Haku flying with a back bodydrop of his own, and the running powerslam gets three. Nice to get a decent length match here.

Randy Savage vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan
There are a lot of smoke and mirrors in this match, but I don't really think they needed the help. Both guys put in a really good effort in the match. I loved Duggan's big punches early on, which Savage sells big time. Sensational Sherri attacks Duggan to give Savage an opening, and I love Duggan's selling here. Not only is he not afraid to sell for a lady, he also does a great job of making Savage look good. There is a great bit where Duggan slowly gets to his feet, getting fired up, only to turn into a top rope ax handle by Savage, and this leads up to Savage trying again a few minutes later, only for Duggan to be ready with a clothesline to the gut. Savage takes two big bumps, one from the ring to the floor then one from the floor over the guardrail. Hacksaw levels him with a chair, which doesn't draw a DQ somehow. The big knee only gets two after Sherri distracts the ref, but Duggan is smart enough not to take his eye off Savage as he yells at her, and avoids a sneak attack. Savage misses the top rope elbow, but the three point stance from Duggan sends the Macho King to the outside. The ref gets bumped, giving Duggan a visual fall, before Savage levels him with a weapon. A slow count from the ref means this only gets two as the drama gets cranked up, before Savage pins him with his feet on the rope to win. Really good match, with great effort from both men.

Randy Savage vs the Ultimate Warrior
This is a cage match, though they battle outside the cage at first, following a misguided attempt at a sneak attack by Savage. Warrior wipes the floor with him. I would be remiss in not mentioning how fucking unbearable Brother Love is on commentary. The opening stages are so slow, as Savage hurls Warrior into the cage with a handful of trunks, then both guys get VERY slowly to their feet. A double clothesline spot puts both down, and they act like they've worked an iron man match when we're only 5 mins in. Savage wears Warrior down with chokes and eye rakes, before the top rope elbow only gets two. Warrior fires back with the usual, but the splash hits knees. Suddenly, the match is nearly over as Savage climbs almost all the way out, only for Warrior to grab him by the hair. Sherri comes in to interfere and bang, Savage falls to the floor a victor. Terrible match, with no real drama or pacing. After, Warrior beats up Savage and looks to be about to beat Sherri before a sudden cut.