Tuesday 18 June 2013

Royal Rumble 1990

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs the Bushwhackers
Jesse Ventura on commentary highlights the difference between the two teams, the brawlers vs the wrestlers. The Rougeaus have a naturality in the ring which makes most things they do look excellent, including bumping for the Whackers generic offence. They get on offence using heel chicanery, then retain the advantage with even more smarts, using distractions and double-teams on Luke. Loved Raymond's cockiness in ring, with some nice little mannerisms to rile up the crowd. Jacques has grown a beard and looks a bit pudgy here, but knocks out a quick kip-up to also annoy the fans. The meat of this match is the Rougeau's in control, which is good as the Whackers pretty much suck on attack. I thought Raymond was great here, loved him jamming an elbow into Luke's head as he tried to break a Camel Clutch. The Whackers make the hot tag and shortly thereafter win with the Battering Ram. But fuck it, the Rougeaus ruled.

The Genius vs Brutus Beefcake
The Genius also rules. He goes through a whole range of slightly fey mannerisms to rile up the crowd and is just perfectly into his character. His mincing sell of an atomic drop is just terrific. Like with the opener, it's the antics of the heel that keeps the match interesting, as Beefcake offers nothing of interest here. When he has the Genius doubled over in the set-up position for a piledriver or a powerbomb, he does the least interesting thing he could and just jumps to apparently jar the Genius' neck. The Genius manages to escape the sleeper before the ref gets bumped. Beefcake puts the Genius down with another sleeper, so starts to cut the Genius' hair to the chagrin of Ventura. Thankfully Mr Perfect comes in to stop this unjust haircut, and jams a chair into Beefcake's ribs. In an interview later on, Perfect says he's fed up of Beefcake taking advantage of people, which is really fair enough. The ref disqualifies both men, so Brutus doesn't even get a DQ win.

Ronnie Garvin vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
This is a submission match, though each guy tries to pin their opponent in vain at multiple opportunities. Hammer has the Hart Breaker legguard on his shin, so Garvin has also put a guard on his shin to counteract this. Both guys like to lay it in snugly, so they're pretty happy to exchange blows in the early stages. It's pretty fucking great to watch. Valentine downs Garvin and locks on a figure four, but Garvin's shinguard prevents it hurting, as Garvin laughs and pulls faces at the Hammer. Valentine thus has to change tactics, so goes for an Argentine Backbreaker instead. They go back to exchanging blows, and you can hear every single one. Garvin goes for an Indian Deathlock, but the Hammer doesn't submit. Garvin gets knocked down near the ropes, so Jimmy Hart takes the shinguard off Garvin's leg. This time the figure four works. Garvin escapes, but can barely stand on his bad leg. Ventura does a great job of putting over the figure four, stating Garvin should submit or Valentine may end his career. Valentine goes up top to an unfamiliar top rope berth, and it backfires as Garvin hobbles over to throw him from the top. Garvin then removes the Hart Breaker from Valentine's leg. Both try to swing for the other with a shinguard, but only Garvin connects, before sinking in a Sharpshooter for the submission win. Fantastic match.

The Big Boss Man vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan
This starts off with a big brawl to start, with Bossman taking some nifty bumps out of the ring and into the ring steps. The Bossman impresses the Hell out of Ventura and Tony Schiavone with an enzuigiri on Duggan. The brawling here isn't as stiff as the previous match, but they keep up a decent pace and it remains entertaining throughout. Plus, I've always had a soft spot for the big telegraphed punches of Hacksaw. I like Duggan trying to break the bearhug of the Bossman by punching himself free, only for Bossman to keep the hold on and wear Hacksaw down. The story they're working here is that Duggan keeps getting up no matter how many times Bossman hits him, and this leads to the ending as Bossman gets so fed up, he nails Duggan with the nightstick for the DQ.

The Royal Rumble
This is a pretty great Rumble, with so many fun little stories and interesting moments. I also love the fact that you see guys fighting each other regardless of the face/heel divide. The storytelling starts early as Ted DiBiase draws number 1, which is nice continuation from him being number 30 last year. He pounces on Koko B Ware as soon as he gets in the ring to eliminate him, and does the same to Marty Jannetty to try and get an early advantage. Sadly for him, Jake Roberts is out next and provides slightly stiffer competition. I find with these early Rumbles you end up with match-ups in the ring that lend themselves to matches I'd really like to see. For example, early on we get DiBiase and Randy Savage squaring off with Roberts and Roddy Piper, which is a tag match I'd love to see. PIper teaming up with Bret Hart to double-clothesline the Warlord is a cool little moment too, knowing their real-life friendship which was never really mentioned on TV.

DiBiase gets the endurance push this year, with Jesse highlighting how well he was doing as early as 8 men in. Dusty Rhodes eliminates Savage within moments of entering, which plays off a Brother Love segment earlier on the night where Dusty came to the defence of Sapphire as Sherri abused her, and where Savage attacked Rhodes. Andre comes to the ring and eliminates the Warlord, leading to an altercation on the outside between Bobby Heenan and Mr Fuji. Awesome. Piper eliminates Bad News Brown, leading to an angry Brown pulling Piper out, kickstarting their feud. They brawl to the back as a young Shane McMahon tries to regain order. Another one of those cool pairings occurs as Dusty and Ax team up to clobber Andre, Demos style. Haku enters, which allows him to pair with Andre to beat down Ax, but Smash is the next entry, which evens the odds and provides a mini Tornado Tag in the middle of the Rumble. The Demos manage to eliminate Andre, sending him over the top with double running forearms.

Akeem pairs off with Jimmy Snuka, but makes the hilarious mistake of stopping to dance, leading to his elimination in short order. The Demos pair off against Haku and Snuka, yet another tag match I'd love to see. The Canadian Earthquake comes in and is instantly a favourite, eliminating Dusty (massively telegraphed by the Dream) and Ax. Haku pulls a great "oh shit" face at that. All the guys in the ring (bar his partner Bravo) team up to lift Quake out of the ring, which allows him to be eliminated, but also be seen as a real threat. Just great booking in this Rumble. The Warrior comes in to a huge pop. The Model comes in and goes right after Smash, which makes sense when you remember the Demos caused him to be out injured for the best part of a year. Smash winds up on the apron, and Haku kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Tito enters and, yep, goes right after Martel, as I believe he did every year. A Warrior clothesline sees DiBiase finally eliminated to a monster pop.

Hogan enters to the biggest pop of the match, and he eliminates Snuka and Haku in short order. Shawn Michaels hilariously last 20 seconds and Martel soon follows to give us the Hogan/Warrior showdown for the first time. Things pretty much end up in a stalemate, with both men down after a double clothesline, giving an entering Barbarian some pretty easy pickings. Rick Rude enters early to get some of this action. Warrior saves Hogan from elimination, but when Hogan tries to return the favour, he manages to knock Warrior from the ring. For some reason, Warrior sees this as a sign to re-enter the ring and beat up the heels. Man, that worked out pretty brilliantly for Hogan. We end up with a final three of Hogan, Rude and Mr Perfect. A heel double team backfires, leading to Rude being eliminated. Hogan Hulks up after a Perfectplex and quickly hurls Perfect out to win. Really fun Rumble.

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