Robbie E vs Eric Young
This is for the TV title and is pretty much just played for comedy. Luckily, both characters are so enjoyably goofy that the comedy works, whilst both guys are good enough workers that the match ends up being pretty entertaining. They even manage to make a ridiculous early spot involving EY doing a headstand in the corner look logical. Robbie E takes control following a huge clothesline from Robbie T on the outside (I’d just like to add at this point how much I love the addition of Rob Terry as Robbie’s bouncer. The dynamic is great, Terry is definitely improving as a worker and they’d be my choice as next tag team champs. Plus the new cordon entrance is ace). Robbie being on offence allows us to run the whole gamut of brilliant facial expressions from the challenger, especially the look of demented glee when he thinks he’s going to get the pin on EY. Robbie may go a bit too long with the chinlocks, but they lead to a Young comeback that shows just what a good wrestler he actually is, first reversing a Robbie dive into a nice belly-to-belly suplex, then hitting a fantastic top rope elbow that puts CM Punk’s to shame. EY hits both Robbies with a dive from the top rope to the floor, but gets clotheslined to the leg by Big Robbie as he gets into the ring, leading to a nasty bump and the Robbie E cover for the win. Plenty of fun here.
Mexican America vs Ink Inc & Toxxin
The MA team consists of Hernandez, Anarquia and Sarita, with the rules stating that MA can lose the tag titles if any of them get pinned. You know how there has been news recently that TNA wanted Jesse Neal to go to OVW to develop his skills? This match shows why, because he is outright bad at points here. His strikes barely graze the Mexican boys, and he almost falls over Hernandez at one point. This is in direct contrast to Shannon Moore who works a pretty fun, smooth section with Anarquia, whose bumping and stooging here is terrific. MA have a pretty nice double team move where Hernandex holds up Neal outside the ring to allow Anarquia to dropkick him through the ropes to the floor. Sarita and Toxxin gets their moment in the sun, and both look pretty good out there, enough that you feel a one-on-one match would be worth a 5 minute spot on Impact. Anarquia comes in and even bumps around for Toxxin, who somehow manages to conspire with Neal to blow the moment where they reveal the tattoo they gave Anarquia a month ago. They’ve built this up for weeks, and now the audience STILL have no idea what is supposed to be on his back. Anarquia, bless him, sells it anyway, and Sarita nails Toxxin with a belt shot to win. Really poor match up, and you can lay 80% of that on Neal.
Austin Aries vs Kid Kash vs Jesse Sorenson
Last time I wrote about TNA, I talked about how Sorenson looked promising, but bland and green. Here, I thought he was terrific. He’d still benefit from developing a little character, but his work here was really good, looking believably competitive against two veterans, which is even more impressive considering this is essentially a two-on-one match. Kash especially takes great pleasure in chopping the shit out of him, to the extent that Sorenson is bleeding from the chest by the end. Sorenson makes the most of his hope spots, hitting a nice tope on both men early on, before getting overwhelmed by the numbers. It’s probably redundant to talk about how awesome Aries is, but he really is magnificent. I especially loved him leaving the hard work to Kash in the ring, chiming in with the occasional chop or boot to put Sorenson down again. Unfortunately, Kash keeps forgetting “the plan”, and the arguments give Jesse a chance to take over. He hits Michael McGillicutty’s swinging neckbreaker better than McGillicutty himself and really looks like he could pull off the upset. Kash hits him with the Money Maker, but Aries, sneaking round the ring, puts Jesse’s foot on the rope to break the count. Then, whilst Kash argues with the ref, Aries creeps in and rolls him up for three. All round good stuff, and a really well worked three way.
Rob Van Dam vs Christopher Daniels
This is No DQ, but Daniels cuts a good promo pre-match, making a gentleman’s agreement with “Bob” to make it a straight up wrestling match. Then RVD outwrestles him, which is exactly how the match should work, making the heel look like a fool. Daniels does get to take control, working RVD’s head and neck over, before hitting a Death Valley Driver for two. Daniels gets frustrated as RVD takes control again, and makes to walk out before Van Dam stops him. Daniels takes a nice bump, getting hiptossed onto the ramp, before RVD hits the barricade legdrop from the ramp. This is pretty much the first thing RVD does which mixes up his usual offence, as he’s been pretty much going through the motions to this point. Daniels breaks the gentleman’s agreement, using first Earl Hebner then a steel chair as a weapon, hitting a uranage on the chair for two. He goes to get a screwdriver from under the ring, but stupidly leaves RVD in the ring with a chair, leading to a Van Daminator and a 5 Star Frogsplash for the RVD win. Story was good, ring work was passable.
Crimson vs Matt Morgan
I bet Matt Morgan finds it frustrating that people ask him “if he could beat Crimson everywhere he goes” as Tenay nonsensically claims early on here. They try some of the typical Battle of the Giants spots early on – the duelling shoulderblocks, the test of strength – but nothing gets a reaction until Morgan hits a decent discus clothesline. This match is really plodding. A weak brawling section outside is terrible, and Morgan hits his corner elbow barrage like he’s terrified of cracking some eggs. Crimson did one thing that really impressed me, hitting Morgan with a Cobra Clutch legsweep, which he then rolls through with to wear Morgan out on the mat, but everything else is really poor. He even manages to blow his own finisher. An “epic” strike exchange starts off ok, but they they start throwing pathetically light blows at each other, before pushing the ref away for a wretched double DQ. That they continue brawling afterwards with the same blows that couldn’t burst a bubble is the dogshit icing on a terrible cake.
Scott Steiner & Bully Ray vs Abyss & Mr Anderson
The pre-match promo from Steiner and Ray is terrific, terrific stuff. The heel team is infinitely more fun than the faces, with Bully a magnificent shit-talking heel throughout the match. Seeing how Bully Ray has gotten himself into really good shape (dig his calf flexing on the entrance ramp!) really highlights how average Anderson’s physique is. The match as a whole is pretty average, but what is really entertaining is how into Steiner the fans are, and how much he tries to stop them. Every “We want Steiner” chant is met with either a “Shut up!” or the finger. Seriously, it’s amazing to watch. The heat section on Anderson goes on for age, which is wise to keep Abyss looking strong. Abyss works really well here as a hot tag wrestler, looking like a beast and rampaging through Steiner and Ray. The match end when Steiner gives the fans what they want with a Frankensteiner off the top on Anderson, but walks into a Black Hole Slam for the win. Forgettable tag, but the Steiner chants were hella fun.
Velvet Sky vs Gail Kim
This is for the Knockouts title. Velvet attacks to start, but Gail soon takes over with some vicious kicks. Gail hits an ace diving corner charge and maintains her advantage. Velvet is spirited in her comeback, but her offence looks really low-impact, to the extent you can’t imagine it would put Kim down. Sky hits a sitout Pedigree, but Karen Jarrett distracts the ref to allow Madison Rayne to sneak in and botch her finisher on Velvet for a two count. More Rayne interference allows Gail to hit Eat Defeat to win the title. This was passable.
Jeff Hardy vs Jeff Jarrett
This is more angle than match, but it’s a fun little deal. After months of chastising Hardy and refusing to give him another shot, Hardy beats Jarrett in seconds following a Twist of Fate. Following this, Jarrett finds himself forced to beg Hardy for another shot at him, which Hardy accepts. A slightly longer match follows, which Hardy wins again with a small package off a figure four attempt. Jarrett bludgeons Hardy with a chair after the match and drags him into the ring to demand Earl Hebner counts a pinfall on Hardy, only for Hardy to reverse the pinfall into a crucifix to win his third match of the night.
AJ Styles vs Bobby Roode
AJ comes into the match with a bum ankle, so that this match turns out as good as it does is a miracle. Roode is already bringing the stalling back into his act, which kinda makes sense with his desperation not to lose his world title. Taz and Tenay actually have a good exchange on commentary about how Roode is having to get used to wrestling singles after his lengthy tag run. Styles takes command early on, but Roode manages to take control after using Brian Hebner as a weapon, pushing him into Styles. AJ fires back, and sprints to the top turnbuckle for a suplex in a cool spot (even moreso with his ankle issues), but his attempt at getting the Styles Clash is reversed into a crossface by Roode, which looks really good. The battle for the Clash comes up again a little later in the match, where AJ realises he’s not going to be able to hook Roode into it properly, so instead changes it into a shortlift powerbomb, which is a nice touch of realism. Roode is really developing the heel mannerisms nicely, managing to low-blow both Styles AND Hebner at the same time, before begging off from Styles when he doesn’t manage to maintain control. Roode gets sent outside, but manages to avoid a suicide dive, where AJ lands with a sick thud. Back in, a Roode Fisherman suplex gets two, before Roode manages to reverse a third Clash attempt into a roll-up for the win, whilst grabbing a handful of tights. It sort of lacked something, but the story it told worked really well and AJ, bar the occasional grab of his leg, showed no real ill effects of his injury. The rematch next month should be terrific.
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