Sometimes, I hate wrestling
Scott Snot vs Vinny Massaro
Ever wanted to hear a joke beaten into the ground? At the start of this match, commentator Kriss Kloss doesn't know who Massaro is, so only refers to him as "Spagettios" for the whole match, despite his name being announced by the ring announcer. This isn't very good, as Snot is pretty poor. A poor bump off a Massaro kick sees him getting booed, and his offence is weak, including a soft looking bulldog. Massaro is better, with non-flashy, but effective moves, and he nicely folds up Snot on a belly-to-back suplex. Snot gets 2 on a Tomikaze, but Massaro picks up the win with a swank pump handle pile driver.
Evan Karagias vs Psychosis
Karagias is brought out as the new client of heel manager Kevin Kleinrock as his other client, the prissy Preston Ascott III is injured. Despite this, Karagias wrestles like a face, hitting a plancha after Psychosis bails to the floor, whilst Psychosis wrestles like a heel, hitting a low blow to take over, then picking up Karagias at 2 on a pin. Baffling. They then switch rolls, with Karagias doing a sexy dance to rile the crowd. Decent German suplex by Karagias. This is pretty sloppy on the part of both however, they just don't seem to be in tune. Nutty bump from Psychosis, as he slingshots from the ring to the floor with an elbow drop. The end sees Kleinrock distract Karagias by offering him a chair as he goes to the top. This allows Psychosis to recover and throw him from the top, before hitting a top rope legdrop to win. A bit of a letdown, as I hoped Psychosis could get something out of Karagias.
D vs Pogo the Clown
D comes to the ring slapping hands with the fans...then cuts a promo slagging them off, as no-one in XPW fucking understands heels and faces in wrestling. Kriss Kloss seems shocked by the wrestling "skills" of Pogo, as he throws some shitty armdrags. Despite Pogo's ineptness, this turns into a presentable big-vs-little match, as all Pogo has to do is stand there whilst the more able D throws himself at the clumsy clown. Pogo is in control following a missed D splash, before the ring gets surrounded by a group of unknown guys. Pogo and D both wield chairs to protect themselves, before D "shockingly" turns on the man he's just been fighting. This is all set up for an invasion storyline with D's old SCCW promotion. Of course, Kloss being the worst commentator ever puts over the threat of this new union by referring to them as jobbers and backyarders. Match was watchable, almost solely due to D.
Kaos vs Angel
Kaos is defending his TV title here in a gauntlet, and is accompanied by his stablemates GQ Money and Veronica Caine of the Enterprise. Despite a little hesitancy between both guys, this is worked at a good pace and is a decent little match. A crossbody to the floor by Angel is particularly good before Kaos wins with a piledriver from a powerbomb position. What is less good is that Angel's "hardcore homo" gimmick allows Kloss to crack "hilarious" gay jokes on commentary.
Kaos vs Chris Hamrick
In a terrible display of booking, the heel is at a disadvantage due to having just wrestled. Hamrick uses his veteran skills and freshness to dominate before a trademark bump through the ropes. He then takes another, more nuts bump by flipping backfirst onto the floor when dropkicked off the apron. Kaos wisely works over the back by whipping Hamrick into the railings, but Hamrick recovers and in a big spot hits a Van Terminator across the ring to dropkick a chair into the face of Kaos, who is still on the floor outside. Hamrick is doing everything he can to make this match memorable. The top rope legdrop only gets two. GQ Money takes advantage of a ref distraction to knock Hamrick off the top rope, and Kaos nails a top rope gourdbuster for the win. Easily the most entertaining match of the card thus far.
Kaos vs NOSAWA
NOSAWA schools the exhausted Kaos for a bit, before Kaos decides to totally non-sell his previous matches, and bounds around the ring, springboarding hither and thither. This match is an utter mess, with outside interference and belt shots in front of the ref, who seemingly couldn't care less. Kaos gets a blockbuster to win this gauntlet.
Juventud Guerrera vs Mosco De La Merced
This match is set up by Juvi turning on his La Familia stablemates (Psychosis, Halloween, Damien 666 and Merced) to join Rob Black's Black Army faction. This is all Juvi early on, even getting the highspot with a big plancha. The face Merced does get his own spot to shine, with a nutty diving swanton to the floor. Juvi nails two powerbombs and a weak chairshot, but these two don't seem to be clicking. A swift Juvi Driver ends a total squash.
Veronica Caine vs Lizzy Borden
Fuck me, Kloss makes the WORST fucking noises every time he sees a woman, making groaning noises like a confused virgin. This is a buck naked lumberjack paddle match, with the aim being to strip your opponent totally naked. Both are heels, accompanied by heel stables at ringside (the Black Army for Borden, the Enterprise for Caine). Rob Black bans the Enterprise from ringside, before we get to this appalling match. Weak wrestling starts off before it devolves to it's natural state as a catfight. The bout clearly only exists for titilation, with the crowd knowing that Black being a pornographer means there is a very good chance of actually seeing someone naked. But no, as Borden is about to remove Caine's top, the lights go out to a big groan from the crowd and they come back on to find Caine gone. Terrible booking. Afterwards, GQ Money cuts a promo lambasting the crowd and taking credit for turning off the lights. So the feud between the two heel stables continues. WHO THE FUCK IS THE AUDIENCE SUPPOSED TO BE CHEERING FOR?!?!
Steve Rizzono vs a Monkey
So right after being part of a major heel angle as part of the Enterprise, Rizzono is facing...a man dressed as a monkey. I say this, but Kloss spends the entire bloody match yelling "Rizzono is facing a real monkey! An actual monkey from a zoo!" like an unbearable berk. This is another largely pointless match, with the monkey controlling with some weak offence before winning with a facebuster. Afterwards, Rizzono gets beaten to shit by a mysterious masked man.
Webb vs GQ Money
Webb is dressed like karate Elvis and, by virute of GQ Money being an appalling irritant, is the more sympathetic character. Money is not much of a physical threat to Webb, so sneak attacks to gain an advantage. Neither guy exactly carries themself like world championship material, but I thought Webb looked pretty decent in places. I really liked him chaining from a side-Russian legsweep into an armbar/headscissors. They don't quite click in the match, with awkward moments like Webb watching GQ position himself on the top rope and hitting a move on him, and not trying to counter it due to mistiming when he would turn around. Money misses a terrible looking spinny top rop legdrop and Webb goes to work. I liked the snap he put into a spinning uranage, before tapping GQ Money out with a rear choke. Afterwards, the Black Army cut off Money's thinning hair.
The Sandman vs Supreme
This was set up by an earlier heel promo by Sandman, proclaiming himself a big star, before Supreme challenged him to fight for the Deathmatch title. Sandman is avoiding the hardcore style, so goes to the mat with a headlock on Supreme. I've commented in the past how I liked the way Supreme built towards barbed wire spots, but here he just hurls Sandman in the first few minutes. Sandman is happy to go outside to stall, so Supreme baseball dropkicks him into some more barbed wire outside the ring in a decent spot. Sandman starts using weapons himself, setting up a bed of thumbtacks that he ends up getting slammed into himself. Supreme goes up top, but the Enterprise, all fully recovered from their very recent beatings, interfere. A sloppy looking three-man cutter onto the tacks gifts Sandman the win. Not very good.
New Jack vs Vic Grimes
Right, this match is probably the most famous in XPW history, and not for the right reasons. This is the FreeFall match, a scaffold 40ft in the air with 12 tables stacked in the ring (four tables high, three tables across) with the aim being to through your opponent from the scaffold to the ring. So the story goes, New Jack hadn't forgiven Grimes for the incident at ECW Living Dangerously 2000, which left him temporarily blinded, and plotted him revenge for this match. Of which more later...
The match itself is largely awful, just two guys hitting each other with the odd weapon shot or walking around the ring punching each other. It features a lot of my least favourite hardcore match feature, the "weapon that will make you bleed and scar you, but isn't going to win you the match". Stuff like staple guns, forks or, in this case, pizza cutters, which I'm sure would really hurt, but would mutilate the opponent rather than incapacitate him. Hate that stuff. Eventually, they stop fighting and decide to slowly climb opposite sides of the scaffold. They brawl for a bit more up there, before Jack brings out a tazer. After a few tazer shots, he throws Grimes off the balcony, sending him off course so he only just grazes one of the top tables and bounces off the top rope in a truly horrifying scene. Honestly, Grimes was very lucky not to be seriously hurt or even dead, and it's really uncomfortable to watch. In a way, the perfect metaphor for this horrific show.
Wednesday, 1 October 2014
Wednesday, 24 September 2014
IWA Japan 14/09/2004
Really curious line up for this show, which is what inspired me to buy it. There is a one-night tournament for the IWA Japan heavyweight title, with lopsided brackets and an interesting list of participants (The Barbarian, Jim Duggan, Big Bossman, George Hines, Freddy Kreuger and Bruiser Kong), as well as a few non-tournament matches.
The Barbarian vs George Hines
Despite his advanced years, Barbarian is still a big guy here, and Hines' attempts to knock him down are pretty ineffective. Hines then decides a chop exchange with Barbarian might work for him - it doesn't. Hines eventually knocks him over with a sloppy looking crossbody, which gets two. Hines gets two following a nice pump kick , then starts getting a bit overconfident when a Shining Wizard gets another two. This confidence is his downfall, as Barbarian nails a chokeslam for two, then a powerbomb for the win. Fun enough opener.
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs Bruiser Kong
Imagine James Storm in 10 years time cosplaying Bruiser Brody, and you've got Kong. This is really not very good, with Kong controlling almost the whole match, with Duggan only getting a few big blows in now and again. Kong's offence is generic heel stuff, all rope chokes and face gouging, but nothing looks particularly good. He gives Duggan a really weak lovetap with the 2x4, which is just embarrassing. Kong misses a big boot and Duggan nails the Three-Point Stance to win. Needed more Duggan offence, believe it or not.
Big Bossman vs Freddy Krueger
I love the fact I live in a world where this match can happen. Unlike the cinematic Freddy, this one looks a bit clumsy and can easily be hurt, as Bossman dominates the whole match. It's not a great match, but it's hard not to love the concept of the Bossman choking out Freddy fucking Krueger with his boot. The Bossman Slam gains the win pretty swiftly.
Great Takeru, Katsuya Kishi, Etsuko Mita, Omawari~san & Ultra Seven vs Dorobo, YUJI KITO, Hidehiro Nishiyama, Crusher Takahashi & Kaori Yoneyama
I don't know who is who in the match, but I managed to work a few out. Some sites have Omawari~san labelled as "Officer", so I guess he was the guy who looked and acted like a camp policeman. "Dorobo" is likewise listed as "The Thief", so that explains why, during a fun joshi bit between Mita and Yoneyama, Omawari~san is chasing Dorobo through the crowd. It's a bit of a mixed bag this match, with a ridiculous 11 person suplex spot including the ref. You get the impression some people here are just waiting around to dish out/receive spots. In the end, Ultra Seven makes Dorobo tap out to an octopus stretch. Forgettable.
Jaguar Yokota & Nozomi Takesago vs Command Bolshoi & Kyoko Kimura
JIP with Bolshoi hitting a ropewalk on Yokota, before diving outside onto all three ladies. Yokota is a bit older than the others, and comes across as suitably surly - Kimura is soon bleeding from the mouth. Bolshoi has some nice offence, getting close falls on Yokota with a swank looking rana and a Tiger suplex. Things break down, with both Bolshoi and Takesago hitting their own partners by accident, before Yokota nails Kimura with a fisherman's buster for the win. Decent enough.
Kensuke Sasaki vs Leatherface
This is a pretty brief affair. Leatherface gets a few moves in, but Sasaki clearly isn't down with getting hung on a butcher's hook, so chops and clotheslines the shit out of Leatherface in the corner. A brainbuster gets three.
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs the Barbarian
Let's be honest, expectations have to be lowered for this match. Two guys arguably 10-15 years after their prime, with one booked to wrestle three times in a night, aren't going to be putting on a classic here. That said, this was fun enough for the four minutes it was on. Barbarian took a nice bump as Duggan clotheslined him over the top rope, and I loved the comedy spot of Duggan knocking himself out whilst trying to headbutt his way out of a bearhug. Obviously forgot Barbarian's infamously hard head. The end sees Barb miss a top rope headbutt and Duggan pick up the win with the three point stance.
Satoshi Kojima vs Chocoball Mukai
The opening really sets the tone here, with Mukai trying power moves and failing, only for Kojima to try similar moves with more joy. Kojima seems happy to take his time and looks like he's enjoying beating away on Mukai, nailing a nasty senton before mocking Mukai's hip-wiggling taunt. Mukai does gets some offence in after catching the nonchalent Kojima in a standing Guillotine choke, but his offence doesn't look very painful and, after Kojima pretty much rolls through a low-elevation German suplex, Mukai resorts to roll-ups and cradles to try for a quick win. It doesn't work and Kojima nails a Koji Cutter for two, before a lariat gives him the win. An extended squash, but a fun one.
The Big Bossman vs "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
Sadly, this is likely Bossman's last match, as he passed away three weeks later. This is the tournament final for the IWA title. This match is less than four minutes, with maybe a third spent in a chinlock, so it's no classic, but it's not awful either. There is plenty of fun "old men clubbing each other" offence and I love the ref leapfrogging over Bossman as he heads out of the ring for his sliding punch. The end sees a ref bump and Bossman's eyes lighting up as he realises he can grab Duggan's 2x4 to steal the win. However, Duggan's wife stops him using it, and he turns round into a flying clothesline from the 3 point stance for the Duggan win. As an aside, gotta love how proud Duggan looks to win the title belt.
Toshiaki Kawada vs Keizo Matsuda
This match is all about Matsuda trying his best to conquer a seemingly unbeatable foe. His gameplan fails right at the start, as Kawada boots him in the face as he tries to run the ropes. The new plan involves slapping Kawada in the face on a strike exchange, which goes badly as Kawada starts beating the piss out of him, inside and outside the ring. Indeed, twice Kawada boots him in the face from the apron onto a ringside table. In the ring, he's still not able to get an advantage, and I love the way Matsuda shows his building frustration at not being able to get any real offence on Kawada. Eventually, he manages to reverse a suplex to a big reaction from the crowd, and twice downing Kawada with clotheslines gets a similar reaction. However, you get the feeling he's put everything into this spell of offence and a Kawada boot to the head is the begining of the end. A clothesline may only get two, but Kawada nails him with a powerbomb for the win. Really nicely worked match.
The Barbarian vs George Hines
Despite his advanced years, Barbarian is still a big guy here, and Hines' attempts to knock him down are pretty ineffective. Hines then decides a chop exchange with Barbarian might work for him - it doesn't. Hines eventually knocks him over with a sloppy looking crossbody, which gets two. Hines gets two following a nice pump kick , then starts getting a bit overconfident when a Shining Wizard gets another two. This confidence is his downfall, as Barbarian nails a chokeslam for two, then a powerbomb for the win. Fun enough opener.
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs Bruiser Kong
Imagine James Storm in 10 years time cosplaying Bruiser Brody, and you've got Kong. This is really not very good, with Kong controlling almost the whole match, with Duggan only getting a few big blows in now and again. Kong's offence is generic heel stuff, all rope chokes and face gouging, but nothing looks particularly good. He gives Duggan a really weak lovetap with the 2x4, which is just embarrassing. Kong misses a big boot and Duggan nails the Three-Point Stance to win. Needed more Duggan offence, believe it or not.
Big Bossman vs Freddy Krueger
I love the fact I live in a world where this match can happen. Unlike the cinematic Freddy, this one looks a bit clumsy and can easily be hurt, as Bossman dominates the whole match. It's not a great match, but it's hard not to love the concept of the Bossman choking out Freddy fucking Krueger with his boot. The Bossman Slam gains the win pretty swiftly.
Great Takeru, Katsuya Kishi, Etsuko Mita, Omawari~san & Ultra Seven vs Dorobo, YUJI KITO, Hidehiro Nishiyama, Crusher Takahashi & Kaori Yoneyama
I don't know who is who in the match, but I managed to work a few out. Some sites have Omawari~san labelled as "Officer", so I guess he was the guy who looked and acted like a camp policeman. "Dorobo" is likewise listed as "The Thief", so that explains why, during a fun joshi bit between Mita and Yoneyama, Omawari~san is chasing Dorobo through the crowd. It's a bit of a mixed bag this match, with a ridiculous 11 person suplex spot including the ref. You get the impression some people here are just waiting around to dish out/receive spots. In the end, Ultra Seven makes Dorobo tap out to an octopus stretch. Forgettable.
Jaguar Yokota & Nozomi Takesago vs Command Bolshoi & Kyoko Kimura
JIP with Bolshoi hitting a ropewalk on Yokota, before diving outside onto all three ladies. Yokota is a bit older than the others, and comes across as suitably surly - Kimura is soon bleeding from the mouth. Bolshoi has some nice offence, getting close falls on Yokota with a swank looking rana and a Tiger suplex. Things break down, with both Bolshoi and Takesago hitting their own partners by accident, before Yokota nails Kimura with a fisherman's buster for the win. Decent enough.
Kensuke Sasaki vs Leatherface
This is a pretty brief affair. Leatherface gets a few moves in, but Sasaki clearly isn't down with getting hung on a butcher's hook, so chops and clotheslines the shit out of Leatherface in the corner. A brainbuster gets three.
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs the Barbarian
Let's be honest, expectations have to be lowered for this match. Two guys arguably 10-15 years after their prime, with one booked to wrestle three times in a night, aren't going to be putting on a classic here. That said, this was fun enough for the four minutes it was on. Barbarian took a nice bump as Duggan clotheslined him over the top rope, and I loved the comedy spot of Duggan knocking himself out whilst trying to headbutt his way out of a bearhug. Obviously forgot Barbarian's infamously hard head. The end sees Barb miss a top rope headbutt and Duggan pick up the win with the three point stance.
Satoshi Kojima vs Chocoball Mukai
The opening really sets the tone here, with Mukai trying power moves and failing, only for Kojima to try similar moves with more joy. Kojima seems happy to take his time and looks like he's enjoying beating away on Mukai, nailing a nasty senton before mocking Mukai's hip-wiggling taunt. Mukai does gets some offence in after catching the nonchalent Kojima in a standing Guillotine choke, but his offence doesn't look very painful and, after Kojima pretty much rolls through a low-elevation German suplex, Mukai resorts to roll-ups and cradles to try for a quick win. It doesn't work and Kojima nails a Koji Cutter for two, before a lariat gives him the win. An extended squash, but a fun one.
The Big Bossman vs "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
Sadly, this is likely Bossman's last match, as he passed away three weeks later. This is the tournament final for the IWA title. This match is less than four minutes, with maybe a third spent in a chinlock, so it's no classic, but it's not awful either. There is plenty of fun "old men clubbing each other" offence and I love the ref leapfrogging over Bossman as he heads out of the ring for his sliding punch. The end sees a ref bump and Bossman's eyes lighting up as he realises he can grab Duggan's 2x4 to steal the win. However, Duggan's wife stops him using it, and he turns round into a flying clothesline from the 3 point stance for the Duggan win. As an aside, gotta love how proud Duggan looks to win the title belt.
Toshiaki Kawada vs Keizo Matsuda
This match is all about Matsuda trying his best to conquer a seemingly unbeatable foe. His gameplan fails right at the start, as Kawada boots him in the face as he tries to run the ropes. The new plan involves slapping Kawada in the face on a strike exchange, which goes badly as Kawada starts beating the piss out of him, inside and outside the ring. Indeed, twice Kawada boots him in the face from the apron onto a ringside table. In the ring, he's still not able to get an advantage, and I love the way Matsuda shows his building frustration at not being able to get any real offence on Kawada. Eventually, he manages to reverse a suplex to a big reaction from the crowd, and twice downing Kawada with clotheslines gets a similar reaction. However, you get the feeling he's put everything into this spell of offence and a Kawada boot to the head is the begining of the end. A clothesline may only get two, but Kawada nails him with a powerbomb for the win. Really nicely worked match.
Wednesday, 27 August 2014
WEW Celebrity Ho Down
When I signed up for my Lovefilm account, the first thing I did was blindly add as much wrestling as possible onto my rental list. In the past this has served me well - I really enjoyed the TNA World X-Cup 2008, for example, and the Jeff Jarrett - King of the Mountain set was great too. With this DVD, however, I really regret not vetting my choices a bit more thoroughly. WEW (Women's Erotic Wrestling) was a promotion which offered female wrestling mixed with softcore pornography. Indeed, inbetween matches on this disk we get non-wrestling related footage of some ladies undressing in hotel rooms to Aksana-esque porno sax music. I like to think I'm open minded enough to give any wrestling a fair go, so I decided to see what this show would be like (Spoiler - it's the worst show I've reviewed in the history of this blog)
Amy Lee vs Nav-A-Ho vs GI Ho
Yes, that is two wrestlers with the word "Ho" in their name. Then-CZW commentator Eric Garguilo is the commentator here, so at least the commentary will be bearable. There are two referees for this match, one of whom is a Stevie Wonder impersonator. GI Ho is defending her WEW Hardcore title here. Unbelievably, we clip right to the end of the match, where Nav-A-Ho is down on the mat and GI nails Lee with a guitar (that spews white powder everywhere, oddly enough) and wins. Even more stupidly, Garguilo on commentary mentions the match was only a minute long, so why bother cutting it?
April Hunter vs Cle-Ho-Patra
I bet the bookers of this fed never got tired of using "Ho" gags. Cleo is the future Shelley Martinez, not someone known for great matches. If she loses this match, she's out of WEW, so I wouldn't blame her for throwing the bout. Hunter is much bigger than Cleo, so she dominates most of the match. I did like Cleo selling a Hunter choke against the ropes by lifting her feet off the mat to show Hunter's strength. That's the one positive in this match, as Hunter follows it with an appalling attempt at the backstabber. Hunter gently prods Cleo with her foot in lieu of kicking her, though a camel clutch does look like it's breaking Cleo in two. We get more shitty offence, including a full-nelson slam where Cleo never leaves her feet, and a Cleo facebuster so shoddily done that Garguilo (and myself) thought it was a Hunter spinebuster until the wrong person started to sell. Thankfully, it soons ends as Cleo taps out to a half crab.
Valerie Elizabeth Wyndham vs Francine
Wyndham is better known as SoCal Val. This is a "fetish kiss my foot match", with the winner becoming the general manager of WEW. Garguilo mentions that neither lady has washed their feet for weeks, so I sorta liked the minor psychology of Francine choking Val with her foot in the corner. Francine is being helped at ringside by ODB and Julius Smokes (doing a Rock rip-off as the Smoke), so the odds get evened by the arrival of the PWO to ringside. PWO stands for Pussy World Order, because sometimes life is awful. Val locks in a poor camel clutch, which looks even worse after the really good one in the Hunter/Cleo match. Val hits a stunner, but the Smoke distracts the ref so there is no count. The PWO do nothing. Val gestures for a moonsault, but ODB knocks her from the top into a tree of woe, and holds a chair for a Francine Van Terminator. The PWO do nothing. Francine hits a wedgie DDT (kill me) and gets the win. The PWO do absolutely nothing. This was shit.
The FBI vs Team Blondage
Here, the FBI stands for Full Breasted Italians, and consists of Angel Orsini (the former Prodigette) and Jeanne Durso, who I thought was pretty good in her matches against Mona in WCW. Team Blondage consist of Amber O'Neill and Krissy Vaine. This is also by some way the best match on the DVD. Not that it's particularly good, but because it manages to resist being totally awful. They keep things pretty basic and straightforward, running a formula tag match with Blondage working over Durso. Some of the double-teaming by Team Blondage was decent AND in keeping with their vain airhead characters. It's not great, as a really awkward false tag sequence sees no-one quite sure whether Orsini is supposed to be in the ring or not, but Durso's springboard flying forearm is one of the best looking moves on the whole show. But then the ending comes and ruins everything. In theory, the FBI go for mounted punches in the corner, but get pushed off and pinned by Blondage, using the ropes for leverage. However, actually what happens is that Durso is pushed down first, her Blondage member pins her with feet on the rope and the ref just stares at them until the other two repeat the move in the opposite corner. The ref CLEARLY sees both Blondage members cheating, but still counts anyway. It's so badly done that poor Eric Garguilo has to manufacture a story about Francine paying off the ref.
Hell's Belles vs Benji & the Smoke
Main event time! Hell's Belles are Annie Social and Jane Hardcore, whilst Benji is some portly guy. Yep, men against women for the main event. This is a total squash, as Hell's Belles dominate from start to finish. Smoke at least looks like he knows what he's doing, though he does have to sell like a zombie in between each move. Benji has no fucking clue what he's doing and clearly has no place in a wrestling ring. Both Socal and Hardcore nail Smoke with split-legged stunners (because I suspect Benji wouldn't know how to sell one) and both apply testicular claws to their opponents for the submission victory. Beyond awful
Amy Lee vs Nav-A-Ho vs GI Ho
Yes, that is two wrestlers with the word "Ho" in their name. Then-CZW commentator Eric Garguilo is the commentator here, so at least the commentary will be bearable. There are two referees for this match, one of whom is a Stevie Wonder impersonator. GI Ho is defending her WEW Hardcore title here. Unbelievably, we clip right to the end of the match, where Nav-A-Ho is down on the mat and GI nails Lee with a guitar (that spews white powder everywhere, oddly enough) and wins. Even more stupidly, Garguilo on commentary mentions the match was only a minute long, so why bother cutting it?
April Hunter vs Cle-Ho-Patra
I bet the bookers of this fed never got tired of using "Ho" gags. Cleo is the future Shelley Martinez, not someone known for great matches. If she loses this match, she's out of WEW, so I wouldn't blame her for throwing the bout. Hunter is much bigger than Cleo, so she dominates most of the match. I did like Cleo selling a Hunter choke against the ropes by lifting her feet off the mat to show Hunter's strength. That's the one positive in this match, as Hunter follows it with an appalling attempt at the backstabber. Hunter gently prods Cleo with her foot in lieu of kicking her, though a camel clutch does look like it's breaking Cleo in two. We get more shitty offence, including a full-nelson slam where Cleo never leaves her feet, and a Cleo facebuster so shoddily done that Garguilo (and myself) thought it was a Hunter spinebuster until the wrong person started to sell. Thankfully, it soons ends as Cleo taps out to a half crab.
Valerie Elizabeth Wyndham vs Francine
Wyndham is better known as SoCal Val. This is a "fetish kiss my foot match", with the winner becoming the general manager of WEW. Garguilo mentions that neither lady has washed their feet for weeks, so I sorta liked the minor psychology of Francine choking Val with her foot in the corner. Francine is being helped at ringside by ODB and Julius Smokes (doing a Rock rip-off as the Smoke), so the odds get evened by the arrival of the PWO to ringside. PWO stands for Pussy World Order, because sometimes life is awful. Val locks in a poor camel clutch, which looks even worse after the really good one in the Hunter/Cleo match. Val hits a stunner, but the Smoke distracts the ref so there is no count. The PWO do nothing. Val gestures for a moonsault, but ODB knocks her from the top into a tree of woe, and holds a chair for a Francine Van Terminator. The PWO do nothing. Francine hits a wedgie DDT (kill me) and gets the win. The PWO do absolutely nothing. This was shit.
The FBI vs Team Blondage
Here, the FBI stands for Full Breasted Italians, and consists of Angel Orsini (the former Prodigette) and Jeanne Durso, who I thought was pretty good in her matches against Mona in WCW. Team Blondage consist of Amber O'Neill and Krissy Vaine. This is also by some way the best match on the DVD. Not that it's particularly good, but because it manages to resist being totally awful. They keep things pretty basic and straightforward, running a formula tag match with Blondage working over Durso. Some of the double-teaming by Team Blondage was decent AND in keeping with their vain airhead characters. It's not great, as a really awkward false tag sequence sees no-one quite sure whether Orsini is supposed to be in the ring or not, but Durso's springboard flying forearm is one of the best looking moves on the whole show. But then the ending comes and ruins everything. In theory, the FBI go for mounted punches in the corner, but get pushed off and pinned by Blondage, using the ropes for leverage. However, actually what happens is that Durso is pushed down first, her Blondage member pins her with feet on the rope and the ref just stares at them until the other two repeat the move in the opposite corner. The ref CLEARLY sees both Blondage members cheating, but still counts anyway. It's so badly done that poor Eric Garguilo has to manufacture a story about Francine paying off the ref.
Hell's Belles vs Benji & the Smoke
Main event time! Hell's Belles are Annie Social and Jane Hardcore, whilst Benji is some portly guy. Yep, men against women for the main event. This is a total squash, as Hell's Belles dominate from start to finish. Smoke at least looks like he knows what he's doing, though he does have to sell like a zombie in between each move. Benji has no fucking clue what he's doing and clearly has no place in a wrestling ring. Both Socal and Hardcore nail Smoke with split-legged stunners (because I suspect Benji wouldn't know how to sell one) and both apply testicular claws to their opponents for the submission victory. Beyond awful
Saturday, 23 August 2014
Triple X Wrestling: King of the Royal Summer Mania Series
After missing the June show due to being on holiday, it felt good to get back to another Triple X show. There was a decent sized, pretty vociferous crowd on hand for what turned out to be another really fun show
Dave Mercy vs Local Jobber #2
Super fun opener. Mercy wasn't scheduled to wrestle because, as host Omer Ibrahim advised, no-one wants to get in the ring with him. Even the Jobber seemed pretty reluctant to tangle with the sleazy Mercy, though he actually got a fair run of offence here. Due to Mercy's trunks being pulled down, we saw more of his backside than we would really want to, though not as much as Jobber, who got a horrifying closeup with his sunset flip. Despite Mercy taking control, Jobbermania soon ran wild as LJ2 Hulked up, and hit a big boot and legdrop for a two count. Sadly, his run was short-lived, as Mercy rolled him up with a handful of tights to win.
Keiron Young vs Chase Alexander
Alexander is the former Local Jobber #1 and is accompanied by the former Professor Lex. His new gimmick is that of a former child star, with Lex pretty fun as his entourage. I liked Young's series of dives he hit early doors, starting by going between the middle and bottom ropes, then the top and middle, then finally over the top. He's still the "Indy Guy", so this fits his character perfectly. Alexander worked over the leg to take control, with a decent bridging leglock. Young made his comeback and got a two count from the ever-so-indy combo of a Canadian Destroyer and a superkick before a distraction by Lex allowed Alexander to take his leg out and grab the pinfall victory. Both guys worked hard, despite being a little green, and luckily their characters and antics kept the crowd entertained.
Morgan Webster vs Mike Bird
The storyline logic behind this match was that Triple X were fed up of Webster, so brought in his trainer Mike Bird to teach him some respect. I mentioned this in my last HOPE review, but Webster is absolutely great at making me hate him. Seeing him here, sunglasses on indoors with a surly face just made me want to see someone give him a smack. Thankfully, Bird was on hand to smack the shit out of him, as he treated Webster to a series of chops in the ring. I'd enjoyed Bird's previous appearance at the April show, and he was really good here, just seeming really natural and comfortable in the ring. I liked the long heat section Webster worked on Bird, before Bird was able to come back and tie up his former student with an STF that had me believing Webster would tap. He didn't and in fact managed to pick up the win by faking injury, then grabbing Bird into a guillotine choke that he calls the Strangler (as I l found out on Twitter).
The Hunter Brothers vs Chris Brookes & Tyler Bate
Last Sunday, after seeing them have back-to-back great matches for Southside Wrestling vs the Young Wolves and Flip & Forearms, I excitedly took to Twitter and proclaimed the Hunters the best tag-team in the UK. This match backed up that claim, as this was another excellent bout. However, whilst the two Southside matches saw them work as fast-paced, high-flying faces, here the Hunters showed how good they are as heels too, keeping Chris Brookes isolated as face-in-peril, cutting him off and being generally unlikable. There were some really fun moments in this match: I loved Brookes scurrying along the piping that hangs from the Club M ceiling to crashland on his opponents below outside the ring (which apparently played off his match at the June show), and Bate showed off his remarkable strength by hitting a giant swing on one Hunter whilst giving the other an airplane spin at the same time. Bate nailing a big boot in the corner with a cry of "This is Sparta" was great too. The end saw a Hunter grabbing a wrench outside the ring but, whilst he remonstrated with the ref, Brookes' attempt to throw powder at the remaining brother backfired, instead hitting Bate and leaving him easy prey for a Hunter Brothers pin. Great match.
The post-match antics were fun too, with Brookes telling Bate he needed to lose his trademark moustache, or their friendship was over. Of course, the crowd weren't happy with this ultimatum, and, despite Brookes bringing out a bag of cheap disposable razors, Tyler kept the 'tasche. Brookes tried a cheapshot, but Bate instead nailed him with a massive clothesline. A chokeslam to the razor was the icing on the cake. Super fun segment.
Damian Dunne vs Gideon
This was scheduled to be Eddie Dennis taking on Damian as part of a "Pick Your Poison" deal with Damian's brother Pete. However, Dennis was injured, providing a doctors note, and instead getting his "close, personal friend" Gideon to take his place. It's always fun to see how debutants will fare at Triple X, partly to see how they cope with the (never mean-spirited) heckling from the crowd. With his bald head and bushy beard, Gideon was always going to get some piss-taking (I enjoyed the "Uncle Albert" chants especially), and he coped well with it. A chant of "He's got his head on upside down" was greeted by Gideon replying "You want his head on upside down?" and neckcranking Dunne. The match itself was plenty fun, with some nice looking offence from both. I dug Gideon greeting a suicide dive attempt with a big kick to the face, which meant that Damo nailing the same move later in the match got a big cheer. Dunne picked up the win after a low-blow by Gideon, and Eddie Dennis helped lay in a beating until Pete Dunne turned up for the save.
The New Henchmen (Jim Diehard & Rob Terry) vs Titans of Terror (Big Grizzly & Scott Grimm)
When I saw this match advertised in the build-up, I knew exactly what I wanted from it - the spectacle of four massive guys nailing each other with fun power offence. It didn't disappoint. I will forever love Jim Diehard hitting moves that a man his size rarely tries, flipping both Grizz and Grimm over with a headlock/headscissors and nailing a Shining Wizard later in the bout. Likewise, Grizzly hit a big dropkick on Diehard ("You weren't expecting that, were you?") and a big cannonball in the corner. I liked the fact that the big moves were built up to mean something, with a Rob Terry slam on Grimm getting a huge reaction. The New Henchmen won after a Diehard sitout powerbomb on Grizzly, and this was a highly entertaining match. After all, with all due respect, what was the last Rob Terry match you saw get a "This is awesome!" chant?
Pete Dunne vs Doug Williams
Williams was Eddie Dennis' choice to fight the number one contender to his Triple X title. Williams cheap-shotted Dunne to kick off, but this soon developed into a fine technical affair. Williams was dominant on the mat in the early going, which makes sense given his experience advantage, but Dunne was able to get back into it with some tough-looking strikes, and locked in a cloverleaf for a near tap. Dennis distracted Dunne mid-match, and Williams attacked from behind to fully complete his heel turn. Despite this, Dunne was able to pick up the victory. as Dennis lambasted Williams after a two count, and this distraction allowed Dunne to get a roll-up for the victory. After the match, Williams and Dennis put the boots to Pete, until brother Damian came in to make the save. Pete seemed a little put out that Damo didn't make the save sooner, but they left united. Fine main event, and I liked the way that Williams' initial superiority made Dunne look even better when he was able to fire back and take over himself.
Dave Mercy vs Local Jobber #2
Super fun opener. Mercy wasn't scheduled to wrestle because, as host Omer Ibrahim advised, no-one wants to get in the ring with him. Even the Jobber seemed pretty reluctant to tangle with the sleazy Mercy, though he actually got a fair run of offence here. Due to Mercy's trunks being pulled down, we saw more of his backside than we would really want to, though not as much as Jobber, who got a horrifying closeup with his sunset flip. Despite Mercy taking control, Jobbermania soon ran wild as LJ2 Hulked up, and hit a big boot and legdrop for a two count. Sadly, his run was short-lived, as Mercy rolled him up with a handful of tights to win.
Keiron Young vs Chase Alexander
Alexander is the former Local Jobber #1 and is accompanied by the former Professor Lex. His new gimmick is that of a former child star, with Lex pretty fun as his entourage. I liked Young's series of dives he hit early doors, starting by going between the middle and bottom ropes, then the top and middle, then finally over the top. He's still the "Indy Guy", so this fits his character perfectly. Alexander worked over the leg to take control, with a decent bridging leglock. Young made his comeback and got a two count from the ever-so-indy combo of a Canadian Destroyer and a superkick before a distraction by Lex allowed Alexander to take his leg out and grab the pinfall victory. Both guys worked hard, despite being a little green, and luckily their characters and antics kept the crowd entertained.
Morgan Webster vs Mike Bird
The storyline logic behind this match was that Triple X were fed up of Webster, so brought in his trainer Mike Bird to teach him some respect. I mentioned this in my last HOPE review, but Webster is absolutely great at making me hate him. Seeing him here, sunglasses on indoors with a surly face just made me want to see someone give him a smack. Thankfully, Bird was on hand to smack the shit out of him, as he treated Webster to a series of chops in the ring. I'd enjoyed Bird's previous appearance at the April show, and he was really good here, just seeming really natural and comfortable in the ring. I liked the long heat section Webster worked on Bird, before Bird was able to come back and tie up his former student with an STF that had me believing Webster would tap. He didn't and in fact managed to pick up the win by faking injury, then grabbing Bird into a guillotine choke that he calls the Strangler (as I l found out on Twitter).
The Hunter Brothers vs Chris Brookes & Tyler Bate
Last Sunday, after seeing them have back-to-back great matches for Southside Wrestling vs the Young Wolves and Flip & Forearms, I excitedly took to Twitter and proclaimed the Hunters the best tag-team in the UK. This match backed up that claim, as this was another excellent bout. However, whilst the two Southside matches saw them work as fast-paced, high-flying faces, here the Hunters showed how good they are as heels too, keeping Chris Brookes isolated as face-in-peril, cutting him off and being generally unlikable. There were some really fun moments in this match: I loved Brookes scurrying along the piping that hangs from the Club M ceiling to crashland on his opponents below outside the ring (which apparently played off his match at the June show), and Bate showed off his remarkable strength by hitting a giant swing on one Hunter whilst giving the other an airplane spin at the same time. Bate nailing a big boot in the corner with a cry of "This is Sparta" was great too. The end saw a Hunter grabbing a wrench outside the ring but, whilst he remonstrated with the ref, Brookes' attempt to throw powder at the remaining brother backfired, instead hitting Bate and leaving him easy prey for a Hunter Brothers pin. Great match.
The post-match antics were fun too, with Brookes telling Bate he needed to lose his trademark moustache, or their friendship was over. Of course, the crowd weren't happy with this ultimatum, and, despite Brookes bringing out a bag of cheap disposable razors, Tyler kept the 'tasche. Brookes tried a cheapshot, but Bate instead nailed him with a massive clothesline. A chokeslam to the razor was the icing on the cake. Super fun segment.
Damian Dunne vs Gideon
This was scheduled to be Eddie Dennis taking on Damian as part of a "Pick Your Poison" deal with Damian's brother Pete. However, Dennis was injured, providing a doctors note, and instead getting his "close, personal friend" Gideon to take his place. It's always fun to see how debutants will fare at Triple X, partly to see how they cope with the (never mean-spirited) heckling from the crowd. With his bald head and bushy beard, Gideon was always going to get some piss-taking (I enjoyed the "Uncle Albert" chants especially), and he coped well with it. A chant of "He's got his head on upside down" was greeted by Gideon replying "You want his head on upside down?" and neckcranking Dunne. The match itself was plenty fun, with some nice looking offence from both. I dug Gideon greeting a suicide dive attempt with a big kick to the face, which meant that Damo nailing the same move later in the match got a big cheer. Dunne picked up the win after a low-blow by Gideon, and Eddie Dennis helped lay in a beating until Pete Dunne turned up for the save.
The New Henchmen (Jim Diehard & Rob Terry) vs Titans of Terror (Big Grizzly & Scott Grimm)
When I saw this match advertised in the build-up, I knew exactly what I wanted from it - the spectacle of four massive guys nailing each other with fun power offence. It didn't disappoint. I will forever love Jim Diehard hitting moves that a man his size rarely tries, flipping both Grizz and Grimm over with a headlock/headscissors and nailing a Shining Wizard later in the bout. Likewise, Grizzly hit a big dropkick on Diehard ("You weren't expecting that, were you?") and a big cannonball in the corner. I liked the fact that the big moves were built up to mean something, with a Rob Terry slam on Grimm getting a huge reaction. The New Henchmen won after a Diehard sitout powerbomb on Grizzly, and this was a highly entertaining match. After all, with all due respect, what was the last Rob Terry match you saw get a "This is awesome!" chant?
Pete Dunne vs Doug Williams
Williams was Eddie Dennis' choice to fight the number one contender to his Triple X title. Williams cheap-shotted Dunne to kick off, but this soon developed into a fine technical affair. Williams was dominant on the mat in the early going, which makes sense given his experience advantage, but Dunne was able to get back into it with some tough-looking strikes, and locked in a cloverleaf for a near tap. Dennis distracted Dunne mid-match, and Williams attacked from behind to fully complete his heel turn. Despite this, Dunne was able to pick up the victory. as Dennis lambasted Williams after a two count, and this distraction allowed Dunne to get a roll-up for the victory. After the match, Williams and Dennis put the boots to Pete, until brother Damian came in to make the save. Pete seemed a little put out that Damo didn't make the save sooner, but they left united. Fine main event, and I liked the way that Williams' initial superiority made Dunne look even better when he was able to fire back and take over himself.
Thursday, 14 August 2014
House of Pain: Evolution 12 - Everybody Stay Cool, This Is A Robbery
Having really enjoyed HOPE's June show in Mansfield, I was more than a little disappointed that my required attendance at a birthday party meant I missed their July show. I wasn't going to let this happen twice, mind you, so last Friday I went back for what was another fun show.
Chris Brookes vs Zack Northern
This was a great opener, and these two guys are a real good match personality wise. Northern is a great, likable face whilst Brookes, despite not using the nickname here, is a man often billed as "a bit of a cunt", which provides a nice contrast. The opening stages were nice, despite a slight slip by Northern reversing a backdrop, but it got really good when Northern suffered a leg injury, which Brookes focused on for the rest of the match. What I loved was Brookes' arrogant demeanour as he worked over the leg, knowing he was in control, which allowed time for Northern to make great spirited comebacks and nearly steal the win. In the end, the injury was too much and Brookes retained total control with a single leg crab. Northern looked set to tap, until his girlfriend Nixon came in to attack Brookes, earning him the DQ win. The postmatch was also great, as Brookes threatened Nixon, which drew a one-legged Northern to come to her aid. His reward for this was a low-blow from Nixon, who then went off with Brookes. Really loved this, kept Northern looking good as he wouldn't tap out, but put over how deadly (and how much of a dick) Brookes is.
Danny Chase vs Barricade
I like both guys, but I expected this to be a bit better. It felt like a match of two halves, with the first half being a bit plodding, and the second half being more exciting. With Chase being a lot smaller than Barricade, a lot of the early stage revolved around him getting beaten down by Barricade in a methodical fashion, with a few hope spots here and there. When Chase made his comeback, things improved and there were some really nice sequences, including one which ended with Barricade getting sent into the ring post to make it seem like Chase might pick up the win. I also really liked Barricade blocking a monkey flip to nearly hit his two-handed chokeslam finisher, only for Chase in turn to block that. The end saw a typical Raw finish, as Ruffneck's music played, causing Barricade to turn his attention from Chase, who rolled him up for the win. I thought this was actually more logical than when I hate that finish on Raw each week - it makes sense for Barricade to be fooled, as he's a monster who lets his manager Harvey Dale do the thinking for him, and Harvey was busy shitting himself at the thought of Ruffneck attacking him again.
Paul Malen vs Stevie Mitchell
This was supposed to be Malen against "Flash" Morgan Webster, who is one of my favourite guys to hate in wrestling. Sadly, Webster was injured and so was replaced by House of Pain wrestler Mitchell. I've seen Mitchell a few times and, whilst he's got potential, he's not there yet, and obviously doesn't have the "fuck, I hate this mod twat" factor that Webster does. Mitchell's nickname is "Rough House", and it's probably not unfair to say he needs to be a bit nastier in his strikes to live up to that, though I liked a few of the grittier things he did to Malen. A full nelson with Malen forced into the corner was pretty choice. Malen looked great here and guided the less experienced Mitchell through a decent bout, before picking up the victory with a Twist of Fate. I do wish Flash had been there though...
Ashton Smith vs Kris Travis
Smith made his debut in the June show, and left then to a standing ovation. Two months later and he's still massively over and having a really fun match with one of the UK's best. I really enjoyed this, it was impressively hard-hitting and, due to Travis' willingness to heel it up, got a really good reaction from the crowd. Smith's match in June with Bam Bam Barton was a short, sharp shock of a match, so it was good to see him work a longer match here. At one point, Smith took a mental dive to the outside that looked like it landed hard. Smith eventually picked up the win with a cradle DDT.
LJ Heron vs Ryan Smile
Having seen heel LJ Heron at the last show and a couple of HoP shows, it's amazing how they've taken something I like and made it even better. This was a really good match, with Smile's high-flying giving him the advantage, before a missed corner splash sent him high into the turnbuckle. Heron took advantage of this to work over the mid-section of Smile, which was logical to set up Heron's spear finisher. It also had an effect on Smile's high-flying, with a missed 450 causing even more damage to the torso. Smile made a comeback using his speed advantage, and nailed a mad suicide dive into the crowd to wipeout Heron. The end saw Smile firmly in control before Heron hit a low blow before nailing Smile with a spear (complete with 360 sell by Smile)
Nixon vs Violet Vendetta vs Ruby Summers vs Felony
Can I be brutally honest? Not really being familiar with any of the competitors in the match, I really worried this match was going to be terrible. You know what? I quite enjoyed it. Sure, some of the execution was a little weak and it got a bit messy at times, but it was never dull and kept moving at a decent pace. Felony was billed as the "living dead girl" and totally had a female Onryo thing going on here, all white gear and ghostly body movements. Give her some Onryo zombie dust to fly off her when hit and she'll be my favourite thing in wrestling. Nixon pretty much had to win following her earlier heel turn, and she got the pin on Summers. The other two couldn't break it up as Felony had pulled a screaming Vendetta under the ring, like the end scene of "Drag Me To Hell".
Joseph Conners vs Martin Kirby
This was the main event of the night. It started with a bit of sportsmanship between two face wrestlers, with some nice matwork and handshakes. Kirby took a spill to the floor which led to Conners holding the ropes open for him, before Conners also took a spill, a nastier one, where Kirby returned the favour. Kirby was letting a little frustration seep through, especially when Conners seemed to be suffering a back injury from the fall to the floor which caused the ref to tend to him rather than letting the match continue. This frustration would manifest itself in a heelish side for Kirby which gave the match it's dynamic. Like Brookes/Northern and Heron/Smile, the bodypart work was really good, generating sympathy for Conners and giving Kirby a way to quickly cut off any Conners comeback attempt with a swift body shot. For a guy who is a nasty shit of a heel in Southside, Conners does great fired-up comebacks, and I love the big leaping clothesline he does to regain the advantage. The match ended with Conners picking up the win following a slingshot DDT, and this was a really satisfying match.
Chris Brookes vs Zack Northern
This was a great opener, and these two guys are a real good match personality wise. Northern is a great, likable face whilst Brookes, despite not using the nickname here, is a man often billed as "a bit of a cunt", which provides a nice contrast. The opening stages were nice, despite a slight slip by Northern reversing a backdrop, but it got really good when Northern suffered a leg injury, which Brookes focused on for the rest of the match. What I loved was Brookes' arrogant demeanour as he worked over the leg, knowing he was in control, which allowed time for Northern to make great spirited comebacks and nearly steal the win. In the end, the injury was too much and Brookes retained total control with a single leg crab. Northern looked set to tap, until his girlfriend Nixon came in to attack Brookes, earning him the DQ win. The postmatch was also great, as Brookes threatened Nixon, which drew a one-legged Northern to come to her aid. His reward for this was a low-blow from Nixon, who then went off with Brookes. Really loved this, kept Northern looking good as he wouldn't tap out, but put over how deadly (and how much of a dick) Brookes is.
Danny Chase vs Barricade
I like both guys, but I expected this to be a bit better. It felt like a match of two halves, with the first half being a bit plodding, and the second half being more exciting. With Chase being a lot smaller than Barricade, a lot of the early stage revolved around him getting beaten down by Barricade in a methodical fashion, with a few hope spots here and there. When Chase made his comeback, things improved and there were some really nice sequences, including one which ended with Barricade getting sent into the ring post to make it seem like Chase might pick up the win. I also really liked Barricade blocking a monkey flip to nearly hit his two-handed chokeslam finisher, only for Chase in turn to block that. The end saw a typical Raw finish, as Ruffneck's music played, causing Barricade to turn his attention from Chase, who rolled him up for the win. I thought this was actually more logical than when I hate that finish on Raw each week - it makes sense for Barricade to be fooled, as he's a monster who lets his manager Harvey Dale do the thinking for him, and Harvey was busy shitting himself at the thought of Ruffneck attacking him again.
Paul Malen vs Stevie Mitchell
This was supposed to be Malen against "Flash" Morgan Webster, who is one of my favourite guys to hate in wrestling. Sadly, Webster was injured and so was replaced by House of Pain wrestler Mitchell. I've seen Mitchell a few times and, whilst he's got potential, he's not there yet, and obviously doesn't have the "fuck, I hate this mod twat" factor that Webster does. Mitchell's nickname is "Rough House", and it's probably not unfair to say he needs to be a bit nastier in his strikes to live up to that, though I liked a few of the grittier things he did to Malen. A full nelson with Malen forced into the corner was pretty choice. Malen looked great here and guided the less experienced Mitchell through a decent bout, before picking up the victory with a Twist of Fate. I do wish Flash had been there though...
Ashton Smith vs Kris Travis
Smith made his debut in the June show, and left then to a standing ovation. Two months later and he's still massively over and having a really fun match with one of the UK's best. I really enjoyed this, it was impressively hard-hitting and, due to Travis' willingness to heel it up, got a really good reaction from the crowd. Smith's match in June with Bam Bam Barton was a short, sharp shock of a match, so it was good to see him work a longer match here. At one point, Smith took a mental dive to the outside that looked like it landed hard. Smith eventually picked up the win with a cradle DDT.
LJ Heron vs Ryan Smile
Having seen heel LJ Heron at the last show and a couple of HoP shows, it's amazing how they've taken something I like and made it even better. This was a really good match, with Smile's high-flying giving him the advantage, before a missed corner splash sent him high into the turnbuckle. Heron took advantage of this to work over the mid-section of Smile, which was logical to set up Heron's spear finisher. It also had an effect on Smile's high-flying, with a missed 450 causing even more damage to the torso. Smile made a comeback using his speed advantage, and nailed a mad suicide dive into the crowd to wipeout Heron. The end saw Smile firmly in control before Heron hit a low blow before nailing Smile with a spear (complete with 360 sell by Smile)
Nixon vs Violet Vendetta vs Ruby Summers vs Felony
Can I be brutally honest? Not really being familiar with any of the competitors in the match, I really worried this match was going to be terrible. You know what? I quite enjoyed it. Sure, some of the execution was a little weak and it got a bit messy at times, but it was never dull and kept moving at a decent pace. Felony was billed as the "living dead girl" and totally had a female Onryo thing going on here, all white gear and ghostly body movements. Give her some Onryo zombie dust to fly off her when hit and she'll be my favourite thing in wrestling. Nixon pretty much had to win following her earlier heel turn, and she got the pin on Summers. The other two couldn't break it up as Felony had pulled a screaming Vendetta under the ring, like the end scene of "Drag Me To Hell".
Joseph Conners vs Martin Kirby
This was the main event of the night. It started with a bit of sportsmanship between two face wrestlers, with some nice matwork and handshakes. Kirby took a spill to the floor which led to Conners holding the ropes open for him, before Conners also took a spill, a nastier one, where Kirby returned the favour. Kirby was letting a little frustration seep through, especially when Conners seemed to be suffering a back injury from the fall to the floor which caused the ref to tend to him rather than letting the match continue. This frustration would manifest itself in a heelish side for Kirby which gave the match it's dynamic. Like Brookes/Northern and Heron/Smile, the bodypart work was really good, generating sympathy for Conners and giving Kirby a way to quickly cut off any Conners comeback attempt with a swift body shot. For a guy who is a nasty shit of a heel in Southside, Conners does great fired-up comebacks, and I love the big leaping clothesline he does to regain the advantage. The match ended with Conners picking up the win following a slingshot DDT, and this was a really satisfying match.
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
ECWA Super 8 2001
I've had this tape for over 10 years, but had never gotten round to watching it until I found it the other week and decided to crack out this review. I think I've always been put off by the sub-handheld camera work and the terrible audio (making interviews with Jeff Hardy and Christopher Daniels unlistenable), but there's no denying the quality of the talent on display here, and this was a rather pivotal show in early 00's indy terms. How well has it all aged?
Low Ki vs Billy Fives
Fives has the look of exactly the kind of cruiserweight you'd find on WCW Saturday Night in the dying days of the company. They do some basic sequences to start, punctuated by a big Low Ki dive. Ki's speed and dynamicism mark him out as the face early on, so I do enjoy Fives doing basic heel stuff to ensure he gets booed, like calling for time-out outside the ring and doing the old "choke with shin bone across throat whilst chatting to the ref" spot. Ki wears Fives down with strikes, but Fives does get some decent offence in, and I loved the spot where he got Ki in a pumphandle, then just clubbed him in the back whilst he was prone. I also like the fact the Fives seems to time his comebacks for the moments when Ki most obviously telegraphs his kicks, allowing him to hit a sweet capture suplex. Ultimately though, Ki is too quick and too tough, winning with the Ki Krusher. Good stuff here.
Jayson Reign vs Tony Kozina
This feels a lot like a decent Heat match in the early going, partly helped by Reign's WWE developmental circa 2003 look. He seems to be in pretty impressive shape. He overpowers Kozina early, and hits a mad tope to the outside, which goes some way to winning me over. He hits his spots well, but you get the feeling that he is still being led through the match by Kozina. I adored Kozina diving from the top with a rana, which he used to send Reign to the outside. Kozina starts working over the leg of Reign, which makes sense to counter the power advantage, but Reign pretty much gives up on selling it as soon as he gets back on offence, even when hitting a bridging suplex, where his injured leg should have buckled under his weight. Kozina kicks out of a screwdriver at two, which really should have finished it. The end was pretty good, with Reign slipping out of a powerbomb into the perfect position to hit his Sister Abigail finisher, but this lost it's way a bit towards the end, especially with the non-sell of the leg.
American Dragon vs Spanky
I know I'm speaking here with the benefit of hindsight, where these two guys became big stars, one of whom is arguably the most popular wrestler in the WWE today, but it really is obvious how much better these two are than the guys in the first two matches. You suspect that they may have worked the opening sequence together many times in training, but the match itself is really good, and tells a far better story than the previous two. Here, Dragon works over Spanky's left arm relentlessly, with some lovely snap to his offence. I loved him avoiding a springboard crossbody and sending Spanky right into a Fujiwara armbar. For his part, Spanky sells it like a trooper, even resting only on the good arm when trying to get back up again. Dragon sends Spanky outside and hits a baseball slide (to the arm!) and then hits a swank top rope moonsault to the floor. Spanky's main offence from this point consists of hopespots and roll-ups, but the arm injury prevents him hitting Sliced Bread #2 properly, and Dragon locks in Cattle Muttilation for the tap out. Really good match.
Mike Sullivan vs Reckless Youth
Sullivan certainly has the better look of the two, though that doesn't mean he'll be the better performer. They work a nice series of counters and reversals that looks really good, before Youth hits a lovely tope to the floor. Nothing Sullivan does is particularly fancy, but it does look good, with a meaty German suplex looking particularly good. Sullivan also adds a nice hint of slight heeldom to add some flavour to the match. Youth hits a top rope cutter and a frog splash for two. They work a few more counters, but these don't look quite as good as before - one which sees Sullivan "power out" of a Boston crab gives the impression that Youth did a diving flip for no reason whilst holding the move. Youth gets the win with a quick fireman's carry roll-up which dropped Sullivan right on his head. Not bad, but not one to remember.
The Haas Brothers vs Ty Street & Simon Diamond
Street is a guy I've seen work for CZW a few times, not particularly impressively. Indeed, the best thing about the match is the double-teaming from the Haas', with a slingshot into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex being very nice. They work a looooooong heat section on Street, before Diamond gets in. In a referee botch, Diamond has one Haas rolled up for at least ten seconds in plain-view of the official, who doesn't bother to count. The end sees Dawn Marie at ringside preventing Charlie Haas from using a chair, allowing Diamond to grab it. However, Simon clearly realises his partner is shite, so nails Street with the chair and lets Charlie DDT Street for the win.
Jayson Reign vs Low Ki
Things start off with a bit of a bang, Ki missing a pescado and Reign nailing a huge tope early on. It doesn't really continue this way, however, seemingly due to some inexperience on the part of Reign. Ki is noticably having to temper his natural dynamicism here to allow Reign to keep up with him, most notably when he stands awkwardly on the second rope for ages to allow Reign to hit a sunset flip on him. The match is also quite short (good) but also quite spotty, and not all the spots hit cleanly, with Ki taking a flipping dive to the floor and only barely hitting Reign being especially noteworthy. The bout ends when Ki escapes a German suplex attempt and rolls reign up for three. Poor.
American Dragon vs Reckless Youth
By way of contrast, this is a very slick affair. The opening matwork was great, everything felt like a battle and the holds looked like they genuinely hurt. Neither guy seems hesitant, even as Dragon takes a big bump to the floor and gets hurled into the ringpost. Youth has some really good looking offence here, chaining his moves together nicely into pinning predicaments. I also dig some of the little touches, like Dragon trying for a Dragon suplex, finding Youth blocking him so hitting an elbow to the back of Youth's head to weaken him, then hitting the suplex. Finish sees Youth go for a frog splash, only for Dragon to meet him up top, send him crashing arm first onto the canvas, then locking in Cattle Muttilation for the win. Great bout.
Cheetah Master vs JJ & Patch
The box also advertises a battle royal, but it never happens. This is a handicap match, and not a very good one. Patch in particular is woeful, hitting the tamest backbreakers on Cheetah that I've ever seen. A short match looks to be over as Cheetah hits a HIGH elevation frog splash on JJ, before the Haas Brothers, Simon Diamond and what looks like Nick Berk come in to beat him up. Some other lads come in for the save, and another chap comes in dressed as a ref. For reasons unknown to me, this upsets JJ, who gets rolled up by Cheetah for three. No idea what that was all about, but it fucking sucked.
Low Ki vs American Dragon
And so to the final. I loved the initial matwork, especially from Dragon, who was throwing in little headbutts to add some spice to the grappling. He also nails a big boots to send Low Ki to the floor, but Ki is the master of striking, so he pummels Dragon in the ring. This seems to make Dragon change his plan, as he catches a kick from Ki and hits a lovely dragon screw legwhip. Given Ki's reliance on kicks, it's a good gameplan to start working the leg, which Dragon does with gusto. It also means that, when Low Ki gets back on offence, it just takes AmDrag one blow to the leg to regain control. Ki does get back in it, and sadly stops selling the leg, but the action in the final stages is still fun. I loved Dragon's deadweight fall to the floor when Ki kicks him off the apron, and I loved Ki following that up with a corkscrew moonsault from the top rope. There is a super slick sequence where, following repeated attempts by Dragon to hit a Dragon suplex, he manages to catch Low Ki mid-cartwheel, hit a Dragon suplex and quickly chain that into Cattle Muttilation. Just lovely stuff. The end sees Dragon go for a roaring elbow, but Ki catches him with a Ki Krusher and locks in a Dragon Clutch, which Dragon taps out to immediately. Really good match, and one that has aged really well in the past 13 years.
Low Ki vs Billy Fives
Fives has the look of exactly the kind of cruiserweight you'd find on WCW Saturday Night in the dying days of the company. They do some basic sequences to start, punctuated by a big Low Ki dive. Ki's speed and dynamicism mark him out as the face early on, so I do enjoy Fives doing basic heel stuff to ensure he gets booed, like calling for time-out outside the ring and doing the old "choke with shin bone across throat whilst chatting to the ref" spot. Ki wears Fives down with strikes, but Fives does get some decent offence in, and I loved the spot where he got Ki in a pumphandle, then just clubbed him in the back whilst he was prone. I also like the fact the Fives seems to time his comebacks for the moments when Ki most obviously telegraphs his kicks, allowing him to hit a sweet capture suplex. Ultimately though, Ki is too quick and too tough, winning with the Ki Krusher. Good stuff here.
Jayson Reign vs Tony Kozina
This feels a lot like a decent Heat match in the early going, partly helped by Reign's WWE developmental circa 2003 look. He seems to be in pretty impressive shape. He overpowers Kozina early, and hits a mad tope to the outside, which goes some way to winning me over. He hits his spots well, but you get the feeling that he is still being led through the match by Kozina. I adored Kozina diving from the top with a rana, which he used to send Reign to the outside. Kozina starts working over the leg of Reign, which makes sense to counter the power advantage, but Reign pretty much gives up on selling it as soon as he gets back on offence, even when hitting a bridging suplex, where his injured leg should have buckled under his weight. Kozina kicks out of a screwdriver at two, which really should have finished it. The end was pretty good, with Reign slipping out of a powerbomb into the perfect position to hit his Sister Abigail finisher, but this lost it's way a bit towards the end, especially with the non-sell of the leg.
American Dragon vs Spanky
I know I'm speaking here with the benefit of hindsight, where these two guys became big stars, one of whom is arguably the most popular wrestler in the WWE today, but it really is obvious how much better these two are than the guys in the first two matches. You suspect that they may have worked the opening sequence together many times in training, but the match itself is really good, and tells a far better story than the previous two. Here, Dragon works over Spanky's left arm relentlessly, with some lovely snap to his offence. I loved him avoiding a springboard crossbody and sending Spanky right into a Fujiwara armbar. For his part, Spanky sells it like a trooper, even resting only on the good arm when trying to get back up again. Dragon sends Spanky outside and hits a baseball slide (to the arm!) and then hits a swank top rope moonsault to the floor. Spanky's main offence from this point consists of hopespots and roll-ups, but the arm injury prevents him hitting Sliced Bread #2 properly, and Dragon locks in Cattle Muttilation for the tap out. Really good match.
Mike Sullivan vs Reckless Youth
Sullivan certainly has the better look of the two, though that doesn't mean he'll be the better performer. They work a nice series of counters and reversals that looks really good, before Youth hits a lovely tope to the floor. Nothing Sullivan does is particularly fancy, but it does look good, with a meaty German suplex looking particularly good. Sullivan also adds a nice hint of slight heeldom to add some flavour to the match. Youth hits a top rope cutter and a frog splash for two. They work a few more counters, but these don't look quite as good as before - one which sees Sullivan "power out" of a Boston crab gives the impression that Youth did a diving flip for no reason whilst holding the move. Youth gets the win with a quick fireman's carry roll-up which dropped Sullivan right on his head. Not bad, but not one to remember.
The Haas Brothers vs Ty Street & Simon Diamond
Street is a guy I've seen work for CZW a few times, not particularly impressively. Indeed, the best thing about the match is the double-teaming from the Haas', with a slingshot into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex being very nice. They work a looooooong heat section on Street, before Diamond gets in. In a referee botch, Diamond has one Haas rolled up for at least ten seconds in plain-view of the official, who doesn't bother to count. The end sees Dawn Marie at ringside preventing Charlie Haas from using a chair, allowing Diamond to grab it. However, Simon clearly realises his partner is shite, so nails Street with the chair and lets Charlie DDT Street for the win.
Jayson Reign vs Low Ki
Things start off with a bit of a bang, Ki missing a pescado and Reign nailing a huge tope early on. It doesn't really continue this way, however, seemingly due to some inexperience on the part of Reign. Ki is noticably having to temper his natural dynamicism here to allow Reign to keep up with him, most notably when he stands awkwardly on the second rope for ages to allow Reign to hit a sunset flip on him. The match is also quite short (good) but also quite spotty, and not all the spots hit cleanly, with Ki taking a flipping dive to the floor and only barely hitting Reign being especially noteworthy. The bout ends when Ki escapes a German suplex attempt and rolls reign up for three. Poor.
American Dragon vs Reckless Youth
By way of contrast, this is a very slick affair. The opening matwork was great, everything felt like a battle and the holds looked like they genuinely hurt. Neither guy seems hesitant, even as Dragon takes a big bump to the floor and gets hurled into the ringpost. Youth has some really good looking offence here, chaining his moves together nicely into pinning predicaments. I also dig some of the little touches, like Dragon trying for a Dragon suplex, finding Youth blocking him so hitting an elbow to the back of Youth's head to weaken him, then hitting the suplex. Finish sees Youth go for a frog splash, only for Dragon to meet him up top, send him crashing arm first onto the canvas, then locking in Cattle Muttilation for the win. Great bout.
Cheetah Master vs JJ & Patch
The box also advertises a battle royal, but it never happens. This is a handicap match, and not a very good one. Patch in particular is woeful, hitting the tamest backbreakers on Cheetah that I've ever seen. A short match looks to be over as Cheetah hits a HIGH elevation frog splash on JJ, before the Haas Brothers, Simon Diamond and what looks like Nick Berk come in to beat him up. Some other lads come in for the save, and another chap comes in dressed as a ref. For reasons unknown to me, this upsets JJ, who gets rolled up by Cheetah for three. No idea what that was all about, but it fucking sucked.
Low Ki vs American Dragon
And so to the final. I loved the initial matwork, especially from Dragon, who was throwing in little headbutts to add some spice to the grappling. He also nails a big boots to send Low Ki to the floor, but Ki is the master of striking, so he pummels Dragon in the ring. This seems to make Dragon change his plan, as he catches a kick from Ki and hits a lovely dragon screw legwhip. Given Ki's reliance on kicks, it's a good gameplan to start working the leg, which Dragon does with gusto. It also means that, when Low Ki gets back on offence, it just takes AmDrag one blow to the leg to regain control. Ki does get back in it, and sadly stops selling the leg, but the action in the final stages is still fun. I loved Dragon's deadweight fall to the floor when Ki kicks him off the apron, and I loved Ki following that up with a corkscrew moonsault from the top rope. There is a super slick sequence where, following repeated attempts by Dragon to hit a Dragon suplex, he manages to catch Low Ki mid-cartwheel, hit a Dragon suplex and quickly chain that into Cattle Muttilation. Just lovely stuff. The end sees Dragon go for a roaring elbow, but Ki catches him with a Ki Krusher and locks in a Dragon Clutch, which Dragon taps out to immediately. Really good match, and one that has aged really well in the past 13 years.
Sunday, 20 July 2014
WWF Mega Matches
Back in the early 2000's, before YouTube and discovering the indies, it was always a massive treat to discover wrestling on sale for cheap, no matter what it was, and those rare days where some wrestling would turn up in Cash Generator were an absolute joy. I still fondly remember finding 3 ECW PPV's on tape at £3 each, and snapping them up even though I wasn't a huge ECW fan. This tape I bought and watched it in full once, before it went into the small hamper I have of wrestling tapes and sat there until this week. Let's give it another watch
Tito Santana vs Earthquake
Tito goes into this match with the dirt-worst game plan possible, which is to totally underestimate the power of Quake. He tries go-behinds that see him rammed into the corner, tries shoulderblocks that he clearly is never going to win and gets caught by the big man when he tries a crossbody. He does try to work a body part but, despite having used a figure-four as a past finisher and knowing that working a leg would make it hard for Quake to support his weight, he instead decides to work the arm. This, of course, leave the other arm free, so Quake clubs him down and starts to go to work on Tito. Quake seems to be in "methodical house show" mode here, so his attack is pretty unexciting. I did like Tito managing to escape a bearhug by climbing the turnbuckle, whilst still in Quake's arms, to get better elevation. Flying forearm only gets two, so you know Quake is getting pushed here. A missed Tito dropkick sets up the usual finishing sequence for Earthquake, but Tugboat comes in before the seated splash to attack and give Quake the win by DQ. Dino Bravo and Rhythm & Blues enter the ring (to save the heel from an unprompted 2-on-1 assault mind you; Quake hadn't broken a single rule all match) before Hacksaw Duggan makes the save for Tito and Tugger with the 2x4. Lord Alfred Hayes describes this as a moral win for Tito. What the fucking fuck? Match was pretty dull.
Bobby Heenan vs Big Boss Man
You know this isn't going to be much of a match, but you also know this should be fun. Heenan is gold on the mic to start, begging Boss Man's forgiveness for all his mother jokes, saying he'd sent roses to Boss Man's mother and saying she was on the phone in the back to ask Boss Man not to fight the Brain. This is clearly gearing up to an ambush in the back (not picked up on by the announcers), and Boss Man thinks about leaving the ring, before quickly decimating the Brain in 30 seconds, pinning him with a foot. Mr Perfect tries to save his manager (so you know there was a backstage assault plan), but fails and Bobby gets a ball-and-chain dropped on his chest. Fun deal.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Sgt. Slaughter
Not much to this one. Slaughter takes a few nice bumps off Duggan's big goofy punches, before a flag to the back from General Adnam gives him the advantage. Slaughter looks to be maintaining focus on the back by hitting a backbreaker, but Duggan soon recovers and makes an abrupt comeback. Three point stance is interrupted by Adnam grabbing his leg, and Hacksaw chases him away to lose by DQ. Pointless.
Bret Hart vs the Barbarian
I like both guys, so this should be decent. Bret oddly goes against his usual logical instincts and decides to try and hiptoss the Barbarian, which fails, and this allows Barbarian to dominate with some power moves. Bret uses his speed advantage to avoid a 2nd rope elbow, and the Hart Attack clothesline is counted as a three in a botch by the slow, doddery old ref. He's terrible all match. Barbarian hits a lovely powerslam for the comeback, but when he drops down to counter a sunset flip, Bret in turn reverses that into a winning pinfall. Another match that's way too short on this tape.
Rhythm & Blues vs the Bushwhackers
By way of contrast, I'd prefer this match to be kept short. I've no idea why poor old Rhythm & Blues were forever paired with Luke and Butch. Valentine nails a lovely clothesline on Luke to take over, and the match is bearable when Valentine and Honky are in control. Butch comes in to break up a fair pinfall, then gets annoyed when Honky comes in to send him out to the floor. This seemingly makes it fair for Butch to level HTM with a guitar for the DQ. I fucking hate the Bushwhackers.
Hulk Hogan vs Dino Bravo
Earthquake is in Bravo's corner, so the Big Bossman is announced for Hogan's corner. This leads to a hilarious over-reaction by one girl in the crowd, who repeatedly shrieks with excitement. Scary. The match isn't much to speak about, though Hogan does his best to make it interesting. I did love him levelling Bravo with a single chop. Some Earthquake interference gives Bravo the advantage, and he keeps interfering throughout the match, with Bossman's only attempts to stop him being to slowly wander over, by which point the damage is done. Even Sean Mooney points out how useless the Bossman is here. Bravo's offence is really dull, all chokes and punches, and the only thing stopping a bearhug being tedious is how well Hogan sells it. Hogan has the smarts to nearly break it, before letting Bravo sinch it in again, to keep the crowd into the match. Bravo hits his finishing side suplex, but Hogan kicks out on two, Hulks up and swiftly hits the big boot and legdrop to win. Poor match.
Haku vs the British Bulldog
This must be early in the Bulldog's comeback, as he's only billed as "Davey Boy Smith" here. We come in joined in progress with Bulldog holding a sleeper. We've got two big lads who can move here, highlighted by a nice crossbody and a crucifix by Smith. He also takes a huge bump from a back bodydrop. Haku is pretty methodical here, and holds Smith in two consecutive restholds for a little bit too long. Bulldog gets little comebacks, but Haku is pretty good at cutting them off. Bulldog at one point breaks a sleeper, but ends up being hurled upside down to the corner. There is a midring collision, where Davey Boy somehow recovers quicker, despite being beaten up for the past 5-7 minutes. Davey locks in a sharpshooter, but Bobby Heenan pushes to rope to Haku to force a break. Bulldog sends Haku flying with a back bodydrop of his own, and the running powerslam gets three. Nice to get a decent length match here.
Randy Savage vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan
There are a lot of smoke and mirrors in this match, but I don't really think they needed the help. Both guys put in a really good effort in the match. I loved Duggan's big punches early on, which Savage sells big time. Sensational Sherri attacks Duggan to give Savage an opening, and I love Duggan's selling here. Not only is he not afraid to sell for a lady, he also does a great job of making Savage look good. There is a great bit where Duggan slowly gets to his feet, getting fired up, only to turn into a top rope ax handle by Savage, and this leads up to Savage trying again a few minutes later, only for Duggan to be ready with a clothesline to the gut. Savage takes two big bumps, one from the ring to the floor then one from the floor over the guardrail. Hacksaw levels him with a chair, which doesn't draw a DQ somehow. The big knee only gets two after Sherri distracts the ref, but Duggan is smart enough not to take his eye off Savage as he yells at her, and avoids a sneak attack. Savage misses the top rope elbow, but the three point stance from Duggan sends the Macho King to the outside. The ref gets bumped, giving Duggan a visual fall, before Savage levels him with a weapon. A slow count from the ref means this only gets two as the drama gets cranked up, before Savage pins him with his feet on the rope to win. Really good match, with great effort from both men.
Randy Savage vs the Ultimate Warrior
This is a cage match, though they battle outside the cage at first, following a misguided attempt at a sneak attack by Savage. Warrior wipes the floor with him. I would be remiss in not mentioning how fucking unbearable Brother Love is on commentary. The opening stages are so slow, as Savage hurls Warrior into the cage with a handful of trunks, then both guys get VERY slowly to their feet. A double clothesline spot puts both down, and they act like they've worked an iron man match when we're only 5 mins in. Savage wears Warrior down with chokes and eye rakes, before the top rope elbow only gets two. Warrior fires back with the usual, but the splash hits knees. Suddenly, the match is nearly over as Savage climbs almost all the way out, only for Warrior to grab him by the hair. Sherri comes in to interfere and bang, Savage falls to the floor a victor. Terrible match, with no real drama or pacing. After, Warrior beats up Savage and looks to be about to beat Sherri before a sudden cut.
Tito Santana vs Earthquake
Tito goes into this match with the dirt-worst game plan possible, which is to totally underestimate the power of Quake. He tries go-behinds that see him rammed into the corner, tries shoulderblocks that he clearly is never going to win and gets caught by the big man when he tries a crossbody. He does try to work a body part but, despite having used a figure-four as a past finisher and knowing that working a leg would make it hard for Quake to support his weight, he instead decides to work the arm. This, of course, leave the other arm free, so Quake clubs him down and starts to go to work on Tito. Quake seems to be in "methodical house show" mode here, so his attack is pretty unexciting. I did like Tito managing to escape a bearhug by climbing the turnbuckle, whilst still in Quake's arms, to get better elevation. Flying forearm only gets two, so you know Quake is getting pushed here. A missed Tito dropkick sets up the usual finishing sequence for Earthquake, but Tugboat comes in before the seated splash to attack and give Quake the win by DQ. Dino Bravo and Rhythm & Blues enter the ring (to save the heel from an unprompted 2-on-1 assault mind you; Quake hadn't broken a single rule all match) before Hacksaw Duggan makes the save for Tito and Tugger with the 2x4. Lord Alfred Hayes describes this as a moral win for Tito. What the fucking fuck? Match was pretty dull.
Bobby Heenan vs Big Boss Man
You know this isn't going to be much of a match, but you also know this should be fun. Heenan is gold on the mic to start, begging Boss Man's forgiveness for all his mother jokes, saying he'd sent roses to Boss Man's mother and saying she was on the phone in the back to ask Boss Man not to fight the Brain. This is clearly gearing up to an ambush in the back (not picked up on by the announcers), and Boss Man thinks about leaving the ring, before quickly decimating the Brain in 30 seconds, pinning him with a foot. Mr Perfect tries to save his manager (so you know there was a backstage assault plan), but fails and Bobby gets a ball-and-chain dropped on his chest. Fun deal.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Sgt. Slaughter
Not much to this one. Slaughter takes a few nice bumps off Duggan's big goofy punches, before a flag to the back from General Adnam gives him the advantage. Slaughter looks to be maintaining focus on the back by hitting a backbreaker, but Duggan soon recovers and makes an abrupt comeback. Three point stance is interrupted by Adnam grabbing his leg, and Hacksaw chases him away to lose by DQ. Pointless.
Bret Hart vs the Barbarian
I like both guys, so this should be decent. Bret oddly goes against his usual logical instincts and decides to try and hiptoss the Barbarian, which fails, and this allows Barbarian to dominate with some power moves. Bret uses his speed advantage to avoid a 2nd rope elbow, and the Hart Attack clothesline is counted as a three in a botch by the slow, doddery old ref. He's terrible all match. Barbarian hits a lovely powerslam for the comeback, but when he drops down to counter a sunset flip, Bret in turn reverses that into a winning pinfall. Another match that's way too short on this tape.
Rhythm & Blues vs the Bushwhackers
By way of contrast, I'd prefer this match to be kept short. I've no idea why poor old Rhythm & Blues were forever paired with Luke and Butch. Valentine nails a lovely clothesline on Luke to take over, and the match is bearable when Valentine and Honky are in control. Butch comes in to break up a fair pinfall, then gets annoyed when Honky comes in to send him out to the floor. This seemingly makes it fair for Butch to level HTM with a guitar for the DQ. I fucking hate the Bushwhackers.
Hulk Hogan vs Dino Bravo
Earthquake is in Bravo's corner, so the Big Bossman is announced for Hogan's corner. This leads to a hilarious over-reaction by one girl in the crowd, who repeatedly shrieks with excitement. Scary. The match isn't much to speak about, though Hogan does his best to make it interesting. I did love him levelling Bravo with a single chop. Some Earthquake interference gives Bravo the advantage, and he keeps interfering throughout the match, with Bossman's only attempts to stop him being to slowly wander over, by which point the damage is done. Even Sean Mooney points out how useless the Bossman is here. Bravo's offence is really dull, all chokes and punches, and the only thing stopping a bearhug being tedious is how well Hogan sells it. Hogan has the smarts to nearly break it, before letting Bravo sinch it in again, to keep the crowd into the match. Bravo hits his finishing side suplex, but Hogan kicks out on two, Hulks up and swiftly hits the big boot and legdrop to win. Poor match.
Haku vs the British Bulldog
This must be early in the Bulldog's comeback, as he's only billed as "Davey Boy Smith" here. We come in joined in progress with Bulldog holding a sleeper. We've got two big lads who can move here, highlighted by a nice crossbody and a crucifix by Smith. He also takes a huge bump from a back bodydrop. Haku is pretty methodical here, and holds Smith in two consecutive restholds for a little bit too long. Bulldog gets little comebacks, but Haku is pretty good at cutting them off. Bulldog at one point breaks a sleeper, but ends up being hurled upside down to the corner. There is a midring collision, where Davey Boy somehow recovers quicker, despite being beaten up for the past 5-7 minutes. Davey locks in a sharpshooter, but Bobby Heenan pushes to rope to Haku to force a break. Bulldog sends Haku flying with a back bodydrop of his own, and the running powerslam gets three. Nice to get a decent length match here.
Randy Savage vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan
There are a lot of smoke and mirrors in this match, but I don't really think they needed the help. Both guys put in a really good effort in the match. I loved Duggan's big punches early on, which Savage sells big time. Sensational Sherri attacks Duggan to give Savage an opening, and I love Duggan's selling here. Not only is he not afraid to sell for a lady, he also does a great job of making Savage look good. There is a great bit where Duggan slowly gets to his feet, getting fired up, only to turn into a top rope ax handle by Savage, and this leads up to Savage trying again a few minutes later, only for Duggan to be ready with a clothesline to the gut. Savage takes two big bumps, one from the ring to the floor then one from the floor over the guardrail. Hacksaw levels him with a chair, which doesn't draw a DQ somehow. The big knee only gets two after Sherri distracts the ref, but Duggan is smart enough not to take his eye off Savage as he yells at her, and avoids a sneak attack. Savage misses the top rope elbow, but the three point stance from Duggan sends the Macho King to the outside. The ref gets bumped, giving Duggan a visual fall, before Savage levels him with a weapon. A slow count from the ref means this only gets two as the drama gets cranked up, before Savage pins him with his feet on the rope to win. Really good match, with great effort from both men.
Randy Savage vs the Ultimate Warrior
This is a cage match, though they battle outside the cage at first, following a misguided attempt at a sneak attack by Savage. Warrior wipes the floor with him. I would be remiss in not mentioning how fucking unbearable Brother Love is on commentary. The opening stages are so slow, as Savage hurls Warrior into the cage with a handful of trunks, then both guys get VERY slowly to their feet. A double clothesline spot puts both down, and they act like they've worked an iron man match when we're only 5 mins in. Savage wears Warrior down with chokes and eye rakes, before the top rope elbow only gets two. Warrior fires back with the usual, but the splash hits knees. Suddenly, the match is nearly over as Savage climbs almost all the way out, only for Warrior to grab him by the hair. Sherri comes in to interfere and bang, Savage falls to the floor a victor. Terrible match, with no real drama or pacing. After, Warrior beats up Savage and looks to be about to beat Sherri before a sudden cut.
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