Having not reviewed any puro for a while, I thought it best to look through some of the shows I'd not got round to watching yet. This one, with an odd mix of puro wrestlers and US indy talent, was the first one to catch my eye. The main event has a particularly random line-up...
Osamu Namiguchi vs Lil Nate
Oh man, to see Lil Nate is to hate Lil Nate. Coming to the ring with a ridiculous strawberry-blonde afro and "quirky" ring music, he looks like Lauren Harries crossed with a hyperactive schoolchild , and I really want him to die here. Therefore, Namiguchi schooling him on the mat is quite the treat, locking in headscissors and Boston crabs to wear him down. Your enjoyment of the match will probably be dependant on just how much you enjoy Lil Nate being tortured, so I did enjoy this very much. It's not totally one sided, as Nate gets a brief comeback and a few roll ups, but the end soon comes with Namiguchi grabbing him by his stupid hair to hit a top rope bulldog and a la majistral cradle to win.
Kevin Steen vs Takashi Sasaki
Fun to note how young and lean Steen looks here. This is perfectly fine wrestling, but it's fair to say this is "just a match". It gets to a point where Steen yells for the package piledriver, and I realise the only note I've made on the match is "Lovely moonsault by Steen" (and to be fair, it really was a beauty). Not that anything was bad per se, but just that some stuff happened, and then it was time for the finishing sequence, as both guys get nearfalls, before Steen actually gets the package piledriver (which I'm glad there was a bit of a fight for) to win.
Steve Corino & Amazing Kong vs Spanky & Saki Maemura
This is a mixed tag bout, but not one fought under mixed tag rules. The reason for this is likely the fact that Kong is both taller and bigger than Spanky. There is an underlying story that Kong has a "thing" for Spanky. I did enjoy Spanky being more scared of fighting Kong than fighting Corino, especially as he kept flying off her when trying shoulderblocks. Maemura fares better, as she uses speed and roll-ups to try and outfox Kong. Of course, this nearly backfires when the rules allow her to be in the ring, as the same time as Corino, who cockily bullies her until she hits a flying headscissors on him. We get a few sexual comedy spots, as Spanky avoids the advances of Kong, who ends up accidentally making out with Corino, before the smaller team repeatedly ram Corino's head into Kong's chest rather than the turnbuckle, and a few fun spots I'd not seen before. One involved Kong and Corino pressing Maemura off them during a pinfall attempt, only for Spanky to catch her and drop her back onto Kong. Spanky hits Sliced Bread #2 on Kong, but turns into a Corino lariat for the win. This was pretty entertaining.
Tatsuhito Takaiwa vs Ricky Reyes
Reyes was always my favourite Havana Pitbull, mainly due to his stocky build. This kicks off with some fun matwork, as I liked the fact they made it look like a real battle to lock in each hold. Takaiwa used a fantastic single-leg crab during this, holding Reyes at a painful looking angle. Outside, Reyes takes a few nasty bumps when he gets thrown into chairs and the bleachers. This was a match where Reyes always felt like he was in it, so not a squash, but at the same time it always felt like he was a shade behind Takaiwa, so it was no surprise when Takaiwa finished with his double powerbomb into a Death Valley Driver.
Minoru Fujita & Ikuto Hidaka vs CW Anderson & Jay Lethal
Pretty even tag match in the early going until Lethal tries to double-cross Fujita on a handshake, at which point things start to pick up. Anderson and Lethal play subtle heels here, and it's nice to note Anderson still has pretty sweet punches. Love them suplexing Fujita into a load of chairs at ringside. Hidaka gets a nice offensive flurry inside, before Lethal goes for a tope con hilo, which only hits his partner, with no opponent in site. Hidaka is a guy I've always liked, and he looks great here, reversing a CW spinebuster into a sunset flip in a really fluid motion. Anderson had a few staple spots that looked great, like his delayed superplex and the spinebuster (which he does eventually hit), and the match has a really nice ending sequence that only really goes overboard when Lethal is allowed to kick out of a spike tombstone piledriver. In the end, Hidaka pins Lethal following Sliced Bread #2. Fun match.
Takao Omori & Ryouji Sai vs Shinjiro Otani & Kohei Sato
No intros here, as the team of Otani and Sato attack before the bell. Omori ends up fighting Sato in the ring, but does a terrible job of trying to rip his shirt off in between strikes. Hulk Hogan, he is not. Otani is in prime dickish mode here, doing nasty little things like lifting his opponent up by the mouth, and I love his nasty dropkick to the face when he gets Sai in a tree of woe. Sai is the one chap in the match I don't know, and he gets to look really good here, really nailing Sato and Otani with his strikes and kicks, which all look crisp. In the second half of the match, Sato and Otani start to work over the arm of Omori, clearly to stop him throwing his big lariat. Otani in particular hits some nasty kicks to the limb. Omori does manage a two count on the Omori Driver, but his attempt at the lariat is thwarted by Otani kicking the arm, and avoiding a second attempt with a roll-up for the win.
Alex Shelley & Masato Tanaka vs Dick Togo & Sonjay Dutt
Here are two odd looking teams. This is a TLC match where pinfalls are valid. You've got to love the sight of Tanaka, five minutes into the match, shoulder all bandaged, diving from a ladder outside the ring to put Togo through a table to "ECW" chants. Tanaka proceeds to bloody Togo outside the ring, leaving Dutt at a two-on-one disadvantage. Predictably, he gets battered, with Tanaka crushing him with a ladder for two. Togo looks awesome coming in off a hot tag (though this is the only tag in the entire match, and Shelley and Tanaka had been treating the match like a tornado tag. Nonetheless, Togo shows great fire when he comes in). A suicide dive to a seated Shelley looks awesome. There is another lovely moment, where Togo pushes Shelley off the top rope to the outside, with the camera angle making it look like he's pushing Shelley into oblivion. There are a few nice spots in the closing moments of the match, including Dutt pushing Tanaka off a ladder into a Togo cutter through a table, which looks great. Dutt survives a superplex from the ladder through a table to hit an off-target Phoenix splash onto Shelley's face for the win. Really fun stunt match, though the Togo/Tanaka sequences were a lot smoother than the Shelley/Dutt moments.
Sunday 29 June 2014
Sunday 22 June 2014
House of Pain: Evolution 9 - Our Lawyers Made Us Change The Title Of This Show To Avoid Getting Sued
House of Pain: Evolution (or HoP:E) are an off-shoot of the Nottingham academy promotion House of Pain, this time using more experienced BritWres workers with a sprinkling of their own guys. They've been running for nearly a year now, but this is the first show I've been to since the debut last July. The reason is that I wasn't too impressed with the debut show. There were too many lengthy promo sessions, and too many odd booking decisions that I didn't get. For example, the second match saw Battle Squad: Awesome beating Project Ego in a tag bout. Now, whilst putting your own guys over the established team makes total sense, Kris Travis of Ego still had to compete in a main event against three other big names, so having him on the losing side of a comedy tag match seemed misguided. Despite some good matches, the show seemed to go on forever, and by the end I was feeling pretty bored and burned out. However, based on some of the recent show results, I wanted to give them another go. Honestly? I'm really glad I did, as this was a fantastic show - based on this, it wont be another year before I return.
Jurgen Heimlich vs Danny Chase
Two local House of Pain guys here, and a pretty fun opener. I first saw Heimlich two years ago, and whilst decent then, he's certainly improved since in that time. Despite the fact I suspect he's no more German than I, there is something convincingly Teutonic about his ring work, with some crisp efficient execution of his matwork. Chase spent a lot of this match on the defensive, with a few hope spots peppered in here and there, but he ultimately picked up the win with a springboard splash.
Danny Hope vs LJ Heron
Heron is a guy I've always liked from HoP, a good face worker who always puts on a good showing. Here, however, he was working heel and, hey, it turns out he's even better as a heel. This the first time I'd seen Hope and though I confess I didn't really get his gimmick (lots of tassles, garish pink tights, strutting), I did enjoy him in the match. The match started with a lengthy comedy bit, as Hope has this "strut across the ring" bit he does which he was attempting to get Heron to imitate. This went on forever, to the point where I was starting to wish Heron would just hit him instead....and then he did. An aggressive side really suits Heron and you can tell he's having a good time with it. The two of them worked well together, including a great spot where they kept reversing go-behinds until Hope suddenly nailed Heron with a perfectly timed superkick for two. The end was slightly off, with Heron reversing a rollup into one of his own for the win not looking too crisp, but this was a fun match.
Ashton Smith vs Bam Bam Barton
Smith was pretty much unknown by the crowd and Barton, despite being a heel, is a local guy, so Barton was getting some good reactions from the audience. This is the point where the show went from good to great. This was a pretty short match, but it went over brilliantly with the crowd. What we had was two guys hapy to lay it into each other with some nice blows and some crisp strikes. Smith totally won over the crowd with his performance here, winning with a lovely superkick that caught Barton great. This was short and sweet, and ended with a standing ovation for Smith.
Dave Mastiff vs Joseph Conners
This was the main match that had convinced me to come to this show. I love Dave Mastiff, he's the perfect example of a big guy who can move, look dangerous, but also make his opponent look good and their offence look credible. Conners meanwhile, is one of the more underrated guys in the UK, and you can tell the next year is going to be huge for him. Despite being possibly the best heel in Britain, Conners worked face here, and this was a perfectly executed dominant-heel-vs-popular-face match. They built this slowly, with Conners trying to find an opening and Mastiff not rushing in and giving it to him. Mastiff dominated the early going, wearing down Conners with the air and confidence of a man who knew he was going to win. Conners got a few hope spots, but it was mainly Mastiff shutting him off and taking over again. The trick with this sort of match is how to effectively and credibly give the face his real comeback, and this was done by a vicious offensive flurry by Conners in the corner. He'd hit a combo of short clotheslines and elbows to the head, get separated by the ref, then go back in with another flurry. I loved that, as no matter how much bigger Mastiff is, repeated blows to the head are still going to take you out meaning a diving shoulderblock from Conners was able to take Mastiff off his feet. They also teased a slam spot, which got paid off by Conners hitting a sitout slam for a nearfall. Both guys got really credible nearfalls (love the Mastiff crossbody as always), before a missed cannonball left Mastiff prone to a chickenwing DDT for the Conners win. Absolutely fantastic match, and it's neck-and-neck with ZSJ/Pete Dunne for my match of the year so far.
T-Bone vs Barricade
I'd only ever seen one Barricade match before, and I hadn't been that impressed to be honest, so I wasn't sure how good this would be. The answer is that this was tremendous and both guys deserve a lot of credit for the abuse they were taking from each other. Essentially, they just beat the tar out of each other, levelling their opponent with stiff weapon shots. I had a brief warning to grab my hoodie and leave my chair before a flying T-Bone was hurled into the spot where me and a large chunk of the audience had been sitting. The match looked to be won by T-Bone, before a distraction by Bam Bam Barton allowed LJ Heron to sneak in and pummel T-Bone with a series of chairshot to gift Barricade the win.
Grado vs Flex Buffington
Good pacing here, as this was a fun comedy match before the main event. Both guys were very popular with the crowd, who ate up everything here. We got a repeat of the "gym equipment fired into Flex's crotch" spot from last months Flex/Manson match in Southside, some "Flex is scared to pull off top rope moves" comedy and Grado riding him round the ring like a pony. The nice thing is that Flex's character is such a goofball that it gave us the rare sight of Grado outsmarting somebody. Grado picked up the win with an F5, but the audience were the real winners here. In the last two months, Flex has worked arguably the two premier comedy wrestlers in the UK, and kept up with both, which bodes well for him (Oh shit! I've just realised that Flex vs Dave Mercy is a match I now need to see happen. Promoters of the UK, get on this!!)
Jack Jester vs Kris Travis
This was our main event, fought under no-DQ rules. I'd never seen Jester wrestler before, and the only thing I knew about him was from his appearance on Insane Fight Club, where he came across really well. In person though, he's a proper scary guy, and came across as convincingly unhinged during this match. This was another insane brawl, and they upped the ante from the T-Bone/Barricade bout, leaving the ring, then the room, leading to a Pied Piper-like string of wrestling fans following them outside to watch them fight on the stairs down to the football pitch near the venue. I've watched enough bad hardcore matches over the years to know that crowd brawling is often a lazy way to fill time in matches unless the hate is convincing, and that was certainly the case here. Things didn't calm down in the ring, with some nasty chairshots before Jester picked up a win with a tombstone onto a chair.
Jurgen Heimlich vs Danny Chase
Two local House of Pain guys here, and a pretty fun opener. I first saw Heimlich two years ago, and whilst decent then, he's certainly improved since in that time. Despite the fact I suspect he's no more German than I, there is something convincingly Teutonic about his ring work, with some crisp efficient execution of his matwork. Chase spent a lot of this match on the defensive, with a few hope spots peppered in here and there, but he ultimately picked up the win with a springboard splash.
Danny Hope vs LJ Heron
Heron is a guy I've always liked from HoP, a good face worker who always puts on a good showing. Here, however, he was working heel and, hey, it turns out he's even better as a heel. This the first time I'd seen Hope and though I confess I didn't really get his gimmick (lots of tassles, garish pink tights, strutting), I did enjoy him in the match. The match started with a lengthy comedy bit, as Hope has this "strut across the ring" bit he does which he was attempting to get Heron to imitate. This went on forever, to the point where I was starting to wish Heron would just hit him instead....and then he did. An aggressive side really suits Heron and you can tell he's having a good time with it. The two of them worked well together, including a great spot where they kept reversing go-behinds until Hope suddenly nailed Heron with a perfectly timed superkick for two. The end was slightly off, with Heron reversing a rollup into one of his own for the win not looking too crisp, but this was a fun match.
Ashton Smith vs Bam Bam Barton
Smith was pretty much unknown by the crowd and Barton, despite being a heel, is a local guy, so Barton was getting some good reactions from the audience. This is the point where the show went from good to great. This was a pretty short match, but it went over brilliantly with the crowd. What we had was two guys hapy to lay it into each other with some nice blows and some crisp strikes. Smith totally won over the crowd with his performance here, winning with a lovely superkick that caught Barton great. This was short and sweet, and ended with a standing ovation for Smith.
Dave Mastiff vs Joseph Conners
This was the main match that had convinced me to come to this show. I love Dave Mastiff, he's the perfect example of a big guy who can move, look dangerous, but also make his opponent look good and their offence look credible. Conners meanwhile, is one of the more underrated guys in the UK, and you can tell the next year is going to be huge for him. Despite being possibly the best heel in Britain, Conners worked face here, and this was a perfectly executed dominant-heel-vs-popular-face match. They built this slowly, with Conners trying to find an opening and Mastiff not rushing in and giving it to him. Mastiff dominated the early going, wearing down Conners with the air and confidence of a man who knew he was going to win. Conners got a few hope spots, but it was mainly Mastiff shutting him off and taking over again. The trick with this sort of match is how to effectively and credibly give the face his real comeback, and this was done by a vicious offensive flurry by Conners in the corner. He'd hit a combo of short clotheslines and elbows to the head, get separated by the ref, then go back in with another flurry. I loved that, as no matter how much bigger Mastiff is, repeated blows to the head are still going to take you out meaning a diving shoulderblock from Conners was able to take Mastiff off his feet. They also teased a slam spot, which got paid off by Conners hitting a sitout slam for a nearfall. Both guys got really credible nearfalls (love the Mastiff crossbody as always), before a missed cannonball left Mastiff prone to a chickenwing DDT for the Conners win. Absolutely fantastic match, and it's neck-and-neck with ZSJ/Pete Dunne for my match of the year so far.
T-Bone vs Barricade
I'd only ever seen one Barricade match before, and I hadn't been that impressed to be honest, so I wasn't sure how good this would be. The answer is that this was tremendous and both guys deserve a lot of credit for the abuse they were taking from each other. Essentially, they just beat the tar out of each other, levelling their opponent with stiff weapon shots. I had a brief warning to grab my hoodie and leave my chair before a flying T-Bone was hurled into the spot where me and a large chunk of the audience had been sitting. The match looked to be won by T-Bone, before a distraction by Bam Bam Barton allowed LJ Heron to sneak in and pummel T-Bone with a series of chairshot to gift Barricade the win.
Grado vs Flex Buffington
Good pacing here, as this was a fun comedy match before the main event. Both guys were very popular with the crowd, who ate up everything here. We got a repeat of the "gym equipment fired into Flex's crotch" spot from last months Flex/Manson match in Southside, some "Flex is scared to pull off top rope moves" comedy and Grado riding him round the ring like a pony. The nice thing is that Flex's character is such a goofball that it gave us the rare sight of Grado outsmarting somebody. Grado picked up the win with an F5, but the audience were the real winners here. In the last two months, Flex has worked arguably the two premier comedy wrestlers in the UK, and kept up with both, which bodes well for him (Oh shit! I've just realised that Flex vs Dave Mercy is a match I now need to see happen. Promoters of the UK, get on this!!)
Jack Jester vs Kris Travis
This was our main event, fought under no-DQ rules. I'd never seen Jester wrestler before, and the only thing I knew about him was from his appearance on Insane Fight Club, where he came across really well. In person though, he's a proper scary guy, and came across as convincingly unhinged during this match. This was another insane brawl, and they upped the ante from the T-Bone/Barricade bout, leaving the ring, then the room, leading to a Pied Piper-like string of wrestling fans following them outside to watch them fight on the stairs down to the football pitch near the venue. I've watched enough bad hardcore matches over the years to know that crowd brawling is often a lazy way to fill time in matches unless the hate is convincing, and that was certainly the case here. Things didn't calm down in the ring, with some nasty chairshots before Jester picked up a win with a tombstone onto a chair.
Tuesday 3 June 2014
TNA Against All Odds 2009
One thing I've noticed is that I do seem to review a lot of TNA shows on this blog. This isn't a deliberate choice, more that, due to having a Lovefilm account and having Challenge TV, I get a lot of easy access to TNA shows, and I'm pretty much happy to watch any wrestling I can. This show was sent to me by Lovefilm last week, a show from the midst of the Main Event Mafia\TNA Frontline feud. The result? A mixed bag of a show that never really gets great...
Alex Shelley vs Eric Young
This was the evolution of a smarter, non-cowardly version of EY, and he looks good in the opening stages, outsmarting Shelley and hitting a big dive. Shelley is great as a smug dick here, and after EY hits the guard rail on a failed top rope dive, Shelley zones in on the ribs of his opponent, which is logical strategy on a larger guy. It also gives him an edge, in that he has an area to aim for to abruptly stop Young gaining momentum. I love the big bump EY takes, diving into, then over, the ringpost from the apron. Even when locking on a cobra clutch, Shelley holds Young over his knee to also impact the ribs. I don't think EY looks quite as crisp as he does nowadays, as he's clearly one of the elite performers in TNA today, but his selling adds to the match, with just little subtle winces as he feels the ribs hurt. EY gets to kick out of a lot here, but it feels consistent with the new confidence he's showing. This more confident side costs him however, as he gets into a row with the ref and rolled up for the win. Fun match.
Scott Steiner vs Petey Williams
Steiner rightly dominates to start, as Williams stupidly tries to match strength with him. When he uses his speed instead, Williams has more luck, but he sadly suffers from having offence that looks like it wouldn't hurt at all (or "a case of the Ziggler's" as I call it). In comparison, Steiner hurls Petey from the top rope with a swank overhead suplex like it was nothing. This is a borderline squash, as Steiner decimates Williams, then repeatedly picks him up rather than just pinning him. Petey comes back with the campest leaping forearms I've ever seen, but you just know Steiner isn't taking the Canadian Destroyer so it's simply a case of when Steiner will pick up the victory. Petey does get a great nearfall after feigning jamming his shoulder into the ringpost, which is a nice spot. Petey tries to springboard out of the ring to hit a rana, but Steiner just powerbombs him to the floor. Petey is allowed to make the ropes during the Steiner Recliner, but the fucking Steiner Screwdriver is enough to kill Wiliams off for good.
Chris Sabin vs Brutus Magnus
Losing the first name was the wisest thing Magnus could have done. Well, along with losing the stupid gladiator get up. He does some nice chaining of holds in the initial stages that he doesn't do so much nowadays. I remembered Magnus being much greener than he looks here, but he looks crisp on offence, and there is a nice little sequence from a Snake Eyes to a kneedrop that looks good. He's a little restholdy in places, but you can see the start of a good wrestler here, and it may be fair to say he should be better today than he is, based on his performance here. Sabin helps, bumping big for a powerbomb and peppering the match with highspots to keep the crowd in it. Magnus wins with his twisting Samoan drop (Tormentum) and this was perfectly ok.
ODB vs Awesome Kong
Jim Cornette comes to the ring before the match starts to make the Kongtourage (Raisha Saeed, Sojo Bolt and Rhaka Khan) leave the ringside area or Kong loses the title. It's quite fun seeing a knockouts power match, with ODB favouring impact over finesse in the opening stage, before Kong cuts her off. Things slow down a bit when Kong goes on offence, and one thing the match loses from ODB's comparative size is the fun cat-and-mouse element you get from most of Kong's TNA run. They do build up nicely to a slam spot with two failed ODB attempts meaning the successful third gets a huge pop. However, Kong swiftly hits the Implant Buster for the win. Felt like a decent TV match rather than a PPV encounter.
Shane Sewell vs Booker T
This was during Sewell's "wrestling referee" gimmick, that lasted not very long. On commentary, they put over how focused Sewell is, whilst Booker is paying him no attention, so Sewell has to pull off the upset here, right? Booker pretty much dominates to start off, so maybe he was right to be cocky, as Sewell gets nothing in. Bookend only gets 2, and Sewell starts to hulk up. Unlike the Williams comeback, Sewell looks intense enough and his offence looks effective enough to cause Booker some problems, but Sharmell grabs his leg to allow Booker to hit the Ax Kick for the win. Match was barely anything, and seemingly only existed for AJ Styles to come out at the end and beat up Booker.
Matt Morgan vs Abyss
For maybe ten seconds this seemed quite good, with a fun shoulder barge exchange, but the second Morgan throws some pathetically weak blows, it goes downhill. He punches like a giant Jenna Morasca. Abyss seems shocked when the ref wont let him bring a steel pipe into the ring, as if he'd totally forgotten the rules of wrestling. We get treated to some of the least inspired crowd brawling ever, typified by Morgan chosing to simply sit down on the stairs as his method of selling a blow to the head. They return to the ring and Abyss, like a fucking idiot, throws some weapons into the ring, then again acts shocked when Rudy Charles grabs a steel chair from his hands. IT'S NOT NO DQ, YOU STUPID TWAT. Morgan's run on offence at least involves a bit of wrestling, and I did dig his top rope cross body. I don't mind big men showing some agility if it makes sense to do so, and Morgan hurling his body weight at Abyss to down him does make sense. Morgan leaping off the top for no other reason than to get caught in a chokeslam, not so much. Ref bump leads to a big pop, as the crowd now knows weapons are getting involved, with Morgan hitting a few chair shots. Abyss hits the shittest chokeslam ever on Morgan. Two absolutely awful Black Hole Slams get the win for Abyss. This was wank, but apparently Morgan went into the match just removed from surgery, so this was maybe to be expected.
Beer Money vs Lethal Consequences
Strange to think the least interesting guy in this match is the only one to make it to WWE TV, albeit as the world's most irritating face wrestler. I'd forgotten about the Beer Money boozer cruiser, such a great addition to the act. Lethal Consequences clear the ring early using their quickness, though they aren't especially dynamic for a cruiserweight team. We get some token "gay" comedy on the heels and Beer Money are having to dumb down into "clumsy comedy" mode to keep LC looking competitive. Beer Money getting on offence makes things way more interesting, as they're the crisper, more capable team. Creed is nursing a shoulder injury, so BM wisely zero in on this, and use offence which not only works the arm, but could conceivably earn them a pinfall, which is a hard balance to strike. The hot tag comes when Lethal decides he's had enough of waiting, and clears house before rolling Creed into their corner. Feels like that shouldn't really count. Lethal gets a few closes falls on BM, but you never really feel like there is any danger of the titles changing hands, and a few minutes later, Beer Money pick up the win following a chainshot to Lethal's head. Decent tag action, but no more than that.
Sting vs Kurt Angle vs Brother Ray vs Brother Devon
This is a fatal fourway featuring 2 members of the Main Event Mafia (Sting and Angle) and 2 from the Frontline (Team 3D).This match really shows how weak the Frontline faction was, as their best hope for the world title is a tag team that no-one believes will win. The dynamic is enough to keep things interesting though, as Team 3D are a tight unit, whilst Angle is clearly quite happy to screw over Sting to take the title for himself. This leaves Sting feeling like an island out there. Amusingly, 3D don't break up each other's pin attempts and indeed, having cleared the ring of Sting and Angle, Ray lies down for Devon, before Kurt breaks up the count. Should have just put on an armbar and tapped out instead. They do start to fight properly, losing their advantage of cohesion, and get beaten down, leading to a pedestrian brawl outside the ring. The MEM members lock in a dual Scorpion Deathlock and Ankle lock on 3D, but even more fun is the dual submissions by 3D. Partly because Ray's figure four is so bad, that Tenay has to cover by calling it a "figure four variation", but also because Kurt crawls over whilst stuck in a Boston crab to try and pin Sting (still in the figure four), which is wonderfully dickheaded. This gives Angle a bit of an opening to work over Sting's leg, though this doesn't last long until all four are in the ring, exchanging finishers and power moves, before Sting isolates Ray for the match winning Scorpion Deathdrop. Match result was never in question, but this was way more fun than expected.
Alex Shelley vs Eric Young
This was the evolution of a smarter, non-cowardly version of EY, and he looks good in the opening stages, outsmarting Shelley and hitting a big dive. Shelley is great as a smug dick here, and after EY hits the guard rail on a failed top rope dive, Shelley zones in on the ribs of his opponent, which is logical strategy on a larger guy. It also gives him an edge, in that he has an area to aim for to abruptly stop Young gaining momentum. I love the big bump EY takes, diving into, then over, the ringpost from the apron. Even when locking on a cobra clutch, Shelley holds Young over his knee to also impact the ribs. I don't think EY looks quite as crisp as he does nowadays, as he's clearly one of the elite performers in TNA today, but his selling adds to the match, with just little subtle winces as he feels the ribs hurt. EY gets to kick out of a lot here, but it feels consistent with the new confidence he's showing. This more confident side costs him however, as he gets into a row with the ref and rolled up for the win. Fun match.
Scott Steiner vs Petey Williams
Steiner rightly dominates to start, as Williams stupidly tries to match strength with him. When he uses his speed instead, Williams has more luck, but he sadly suffers from having offence that looks like it wouldn't hurt at all (or "a case of the Ziggler's" as I call it). In comparison, Steiner hurls Petey from the top rope with a swank overhead suplex like it was nothing. This is a borderline squash, as Steiner decimates Williams, then repeatedly picks him up rather than just pinning him. Petey comes back with the campest leaping forearms I've ever seen, but you just know Steiner isn't taking the Canadian Destroyer so it's simply a case of when Steiner will pick up the victory. Petey does get a great nearfall after feigning jamming his shoulder into the ringpost, which is a nice spot. Petey tries to springboard out of the ring to hit a rana, but Steiner just powerbombs him to the floor. Petey is allowed to make the ropes during the Steiner Recliner, but the fucking Steiner Screwdriver is enough to kill Wiliams off for good.
Chris Sabin vs Brutus Magnus
Losing the first name was the wisest thing Magnus could have done. Well, along with losing the stupid gladiator get up. He does some nice chaining of holds in the initial stages that he doesn't do so much nowadays. I remembered Magnus being much greener than he looks here, but he looks crisp on offence, and there is a nice little sequence from a Snake Eyes to a kneedrop that looks good. He's a little restholdy in places, but you can see the start of a good wrestler here, and it may be fair to say he should be better today than he is, based on his performance here. Sabin helps, bumping big for a powerbomb and peppering the match with highspots to keep the crowd in it. Magnus wins with his twisting Samoan drop (Tormentum) and this was perfectly ok.
ODB vs Awesome Kong
Jim Cornette comes to the ring before the match starts to make the Kongtourage (Raisha Saeed, Sojo Bolt and Rhaka Khan) leave the ringside area or Kong loses the title. It's quite fun seeing a knockouts power match, with ODB favouring impact over finesse in the opening stage, before Kong cuts her off. Things slow down a bit when Kong goes on offence, and one thing the match loses from ODB's comparative size is the fun cat-and-mouse element you get from most of Kong's TNA run. They do build up nicely to a slam spot with two failed ODB attempts meaning the successful third gets a huge pop. However, Kong swiftly hits the Implant Buster for the win. Felt like a decent TV match rather than a PPV encounter.
Shane Sewell vs Booker T
This was during Sewell's "wrestling referee" gimmick, that lasted not very long. On commentary, they put over how focused Sewell is, whilst Booker is paying him no attention, so Sewell has to pull off the upset here, right? Booker pretty much dominates to start off, so maybe he was right to be cocky, as Sewell gets nothing in. Bookend only gets 2, and Sewell starts to hulk up. Unlike the Williams comeback, Sewell looks intense enough and his offence looks effective enough to cause Booker some problems, but Sharmell grabs his leg to allow Booker to hit the Ax Kick for the win. Match was barely anything, and seemingly only existed for AJ Styles to come out at the end and beat up Booker.
Matt Morgan vs Abyss
For maybe ten seconds this seemed quite good, with a fun shoulder barge exchange, but the second Morgan throws some pathetically weak blows, it goes downhill. He punches like a giant Jenna Morasca. Abyss seems shocked when the ref wont let him bring a steel pipe into the ring, as if he'd totally forgotten the rules of wrestling. We get treated to some of the least inspired crowd brawling ever, typified by Morgan chosing to simply sit down on the stairs as his method of selling a blow to the head. They return to the ring and Abyss, like a fucking idiot, throws some weapons into the ring, then again acts shocked when Rudy Charles grabs a steel chair from his hands. IT'S NOT NO DQ, YOU STUPID TWAT. Morgan's run on offence at least involves a bit of wrestling, and I did dig his top rope cross body. I don't mind big men showing some agility if it makes sense to do so, and Morgan hurling his body weight at Abyss to down him does make sense. Morgan leaping off the top for no other reason than to get caught in a chokeslam, not so much. Ref bump leads to a big pop, as the crowd now knows weapons are getting involved, with Morgan hitting a few chair shots. Abyss hits the shittest chokeslam ever on Morgan. Two absolutely awful Black Hole Slams get the win for Abyss. This was wank, but apparently Morgan went into the match just removed from surgery, so this was maybe to be expected.
Beer Money vs Lethal Consequences
Strange to think the least interesting guy in this match is the only one to make it to WWE TV, albeit as the world's most irritating face wrestler. I'd forgotten about the Beer Money boozer cruiser, such a great addition to the act. Lethal Consequences clear the ring early using their quickness, though they aren't especially dynamic for a cruiserweight team. We get some token "gay" comedy on the heels and Beer Money are having to dumb down into "clumsy comedy" mode to keep LC looking competitive. Beer Money getting on offence makes things way more interesting, as they're the crisper, more capable team. Creed is nursing a shoulder injury, so BM wisely zero in on this, and use offence which not only works the arm, but could conceivably earn them a pinfall, which is a hard balance to strike. The hot tag comes when Lethal decides he's had enough of waiting, and clears house before rolling Creed into their corner. Feels like that shouldn't really count. Lethal gets a few closes falls on BM, but you never really feel like there is any danger of the titles changing hands, and a few minutes later, Beer Money pick up the win following a chainshot to Lethal's head. Decent tag action, but no more than that.
Sting vs Kurt Angle vs Brother Ray vs Brother Devon
This is a fatal fourway featuring 2 members of the Main Event Mafia (Sting and Angle) and 2 from the Frontline (Team 3D).This match really shows how weak the Frontline faction was, as their best hope for the world title is a tag team that no-one believes will win. The dynamic is enough to keep things interesting though, as Team 3D are a tight unit, whilst Angle is clearly quite happy to screw over Sting to take the title for himself. This leaves Sting feeling like an island out there. Amusingly, 3D don't break up each other's pin attempts and indeed, having cleared the ring of Sting and Angle, Ray lies down for Devon, before Kurt breaks up the count. Should have just put on an armbar and tapped out instead. They do start to fight properly, losing their advantage of cohesion, and get beaten down, leading to a pedestrian brawl outside the ring. The MEM members lock in a dual Scorpion Deathlock and Ankle lock on 3D, but even more fun is the dual submissions by 3D. Partly because Ray's figure four is so bad, that Tenay has to cover by calling it a "figure four variation", but also because Kurt crawls over whilst stuck in a Boston crab to try and pin Sting (still in the figure four), which is wonderfully dickheaded. This gives Angle a bit of an opening to work over Sting's leg, though this doesn't last long until all four are in the ring, exchanging finishers and power moves, before Sting isolates Ray for the match winning Scorpion Deathdrop. Match result was never in question, but this was way more fun than expected.
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