CHIKARA Fear of Music (2004)

Crossbones, Mano Metalico & Rorschach vs Jolly Roger, Icarus & Lance Steel

Super fun trios match, helped by Crossbones being a Grade-A trash-talker. He’s on it throughout the entire match, managing to just about avoid being irritating. Loved seeing Roger hit a sort of proto-Codebreaker on Metalico. The heat is worked on Roger, and it’s nice to see Rorschach finally starting to improve. He hits a really neat slingshot elbow and his Indian Deathlock has a nice bridge. For such a big guy, it’s fun seeing Metalico stop an offensive run by Roger with a poke to the eye. Roger gets the hot tag after blocking a Crossbones superplex and nailing a blockbuster. Things break down, and start getting a bit sloppy. Icarus hits a clumsy looking top rope dive, Crossbones almost drops Jolly Roger on his head by not holding the head on an Air Raid Crash and wrestlers get thrown out of the ring in a clumsy fashion. Rorschach hits a nice Dragon Suplex on Lance Steel for the win.

Darkness Crabtree vs Allison Danger

This wasn’t great, they’re playing up Crabtree being a bit creepy when facing a woman, which is a little uncomfortable. Crabtree takes control after he gets whipped to the buckle, and he’s so decrepit that he slumps down, which causes Danger to miss a corner charge. Crabtree misses a really slow People’s Elbow, and Danger hits an STO for two. Oddly, she just tries the pin again and gets the win. That was odd.

DJ Skittlez vs Gran Akuma

For two guys who were among the first CHIKARA students, there’s a bit of a gulf here in terms of look and performance. Akuma is in great shape, moves so well and his offence looks a lot better. Skittlez isn’t graceful in the slightest, which does have some benefits. It makes his top rope clothesline look more forceful, but after the initial opening sequences of nicely rehearsed armdrags and reversals, he looks a bit loss. Skittlez seems legitimately injured after taking a spin kick to the ribs, but he does get back on his feet to continue the bout for a few minutes. Akuma rolls through a cradle to get the win.

Sabian vs Ravage

Fuck, Ravage is so bloody irritating, all faux-quirkly shrieks and laughs. Sabian comes out with a sling on his right arm, and the match is called off. Only included in this review because it gets reference later.

Niles Young vs Claudio Castagnoli

Another match to push Castagnoli’s European Rules gimmick. Niles wins my heart early by working a headlock on Claudio, and slapping it back on every time Castagnoli escapes. Just nicely frustrating his opponent. Obviously frustrates him enough that Claudio changes his gameplan for round 2, hitting a sneaky cheapshot. Claudio shows nice strength to hit a backbreaker and muscle Young back up for a stomachbreaker. Loved Claudio cheapshotting after the bell to end round 2, then kicking the crap out of Young while Bryce Remsberg issues the public warning. Young fires back and gets a 9 count after a leaping 2^nd rope X-Factor, but Claudio stops a second by pushing Remberg into the ropes. As the second public warning gets issues, Castagnoli nails a European uppercut to the back on Young’s head to get the 10 count win. Dug this.

The Dark Breed (Ultramantis Black & Hallowicked) vs Men At Work (Shane Storm & Mr Zero)

At this point, Ultramantis still feels too goofy to be a dark lord like his gimmick suggests. Dig the early double team with Zero and Storm flipping each other onto the Dark Breed. The heat gets worked on Storm, including a bad spot where the ref clearly saw Black get his staff, but goes to stop Zero entering the ring instead, allowing a beatdown on Storm. Black seems to struggle at lifting Storm, always looks a bit shitty. There’s a spot where Black is supposed to hold Storm in a bearhug for an leaping forearm, but he barely gets him off the ground. Ends up with a melee towards the end, and there’s a great nearfall with Black holding a half crab on Zero, and Storm hits a Shining Wizard on him for two. Zero hits a big facebuster on Black for the win, nicely ending their feud. A few bad spots, but this was good on the whole.

Matt Bomboy vs Din Mak

The third show in a row for this pairing, this time with I Quit rules. Don’t think anyone was crying out for this feud to continue, especially as it feels totally isolated from the regular CHIKARA universe. Credit where it’s due, at least Bomboy tries a few submissions throughout, Mak seems to give very little lip-service to the gimmick. Loved Bomboy going to the rope, a la Old School, and clobbering Mak with a clothesline to the back of the head. Mak at one point threatens the Socko Claw, taking out a sock from his trunks. Fucks sake. Bomboy seems really fired up, hitting a side Russian legsweep on the floor, and chaining to an armbar. In contrast, Mak tries a pinfall halfway through the match, showing he’s not really into it. In the end, Mak locks in a Dragon Sleeper with a body scissors for the win. Their best match, but I really don’t need to see this again.

The Wildcards vs The Superfriends (Mike Quackenbush & Chris Hero)

This was a heap of fun, really loved the dynamic between these four guys. The early stages see the more experienced Superfriends schooling both Wildcards on the mat. Loved Hero taunting both Kingston and Marciano, threatening them with cravats. Lovely spot where Quackenbush hits a tilt-a-whirl armdrag to send his partner flying onto Kingston before hitting a senton on Marciano. The Wildcards finally get control following a Quack dive, as they take Hero out on the outside and isolate Quack in the ring. Really effective as, even when Quack gets to the corner for a tag after a double DDT, Hero is still on the floor selling his assault. Hero is great when he finally does get the hot tag, hitting Kingston with a killer forearm to the face and a lovely Saito suplex. Powerbombing Marciano onto Kingston looks great. The Wildcard’s end up winning thanks to Larry Sweeney – he waistlocks Kingston to prevent a Quackenbush top rope rana, and Marciano hits a reverse powerslam for the win. Top stuff here.

Skayde vs Oriental

2/3 falls here, and this is very much worked in exhibition terms. Lots of armdrags, reversals and guys flipping out of holds landing on their feet. None of the falls ever feel built to, with them just coming at regular intervals when a roll up or a submission ends up getting the fall. This means there’s no real tension, but it’s still quite fun to watch guys this smooth working the mat. A few neat spots, loved Oriental rolling through a Northern Lights and chaining to an armbar, but with the falls even, Skayde gets the final fall with a rolling cradle.

Jigsaw vs Larry Sweeney

This is for the Young Lion’s Cup that Sweeney cheated to beat Jigsaw for a few shows earlier, with Jigsaw winning the right to this match in the Cibernetico. Sweeney comes to the ring in a sling, playing off the Sabian no-match from earlier, but then he blindsides Jigsaw to kick off the match. You can really see how much Jigsaw has improved at this point, he comes back with a lovely midring rana and hitting a huge dive to the floor. Loved Sweeney taking over by catching a springboard into a stungun in a really fluid motion. Jigsaw rolls through a backdrop, grabs an ankle and rolls up Sweeney for two. So good. Sweeney doesn’t do anything fancy, but he’s got really nice execution and gives a nice base level for the match. It’s why his DJ Skittlez match was decent, his basic level of competency doesn’t allow the match to get too out of control. Both guys get their finishers kicked out of, the 68 Comeback Special and the Jig’N’Tonic. Really fun spot where Sweeney’s continued cheating backfires on him, as he tries to use brass knucks, misses, but hits a piledriver. However, Bryce Remsberg spots the knuckles and refuses to count. Loved that. Quack comes back out to stop Rorschach interfering, and Jigsaw blocks a superplex to hit a top rope powerbomb for the win. Really dug this.

CHIKARA - The Cibernetico Cometh

Claudio Castagnoli vs American Gigolo

Big fan of Claudio demanding a chair to use as a step for his ring entrance, despite the chair being the exact same height as the ring. This is fought under European Rules, with a round system. Round 1 is pretty even, with both guys doing some nice chain wrestling on the mat. The round ends with Gigolo going to the next door room to get a drink, only returning when on the brink of being counted out in R2. Felt like a comedy bit that the crowd didn’t bite. This round is a bit more heated, with Claudio doing a fun bit of schtick where he kept punching Gigolo whilst holding a headlock and claiming it was a flat palm until ref Bryce Remsburg catches him in the act. He also attacks Gigolo at the end of R2, then continues his assault as Remsburg tells the ring announcer to issue a public warning. Gigolo takes some fun bumps getting whipped to the corner in R3, before Claudio hits an uppercut to the back of the head to get the KO win. This was better than the first Euro Rules match against Sabian, felt like Claudio had already got a better idea of how to work the gimmick

Lance Steel vs Darkness Crabtree

This is actually a continuation of the match from the previous night, a falls-count-anywhere affair that saw both guys leave the venue and not return. They battle back into the ring, and Steel locks on a Boston Crab for the win in an announced 23hours and 36 minutes.

Ravage vs Niles Young

Two CZW trainees. This is one of those basic, competently worked rookie matches between two guys who obviously train together. Ravage is very annoying though, all “quirky” shrieks and whoops. Ravage hits a nice cradle neckbreaker at one point, but this is pretty by the numbers stuff. Young gets the win following an overly complicated facebuster and a Yakuza kick.

The Wildcards vs BLKOUT

There’s a bit of genial clowning to start, but soon Joker and Kingston are viciously exchanging headbutts in the corner. Loved the takeovers Joker hits on Marciano, grabbing him around the neck and flinging him to the mat. Sabian is soon isolated, eating a nice gutwrench from Marciano. The Wildcards work like a classic heel tag team, cutting off the ring, quick tags and keeping Sabian in the corner. Sadly, there isn’t any build to the hot tag, you feel like one or two hope spots could have made the eventual tag a bit more exciting. BLKOUT clear the ring, and Joker backdrops Sabian to the floor onto the Wildcards. There’s a poor looking roll up by Sabian where he looks to be chaining to a submission before his opponent actually kicks out, but he does eat a huge overhead belly to belly by Kingston to the floor, before Eddie gets an O’Connor Roll on Joker for the win. Overall, good stuff.

Skayde vs Oriental

This was ultimately fine, but just felt like an exhibition throughout. It’s 2/3 falls, but barely goes 10 minutes, and at a lot of points it didn’t feel like two guys trying to pick up a victory, no sense that anything was at stake. Oriental hits a nice rolling senton to the floor at one point, but there was no struggle, holds getting escaped from and reversed with no build. It ends up one fall a piece, before Oriental gets the eventual win with a flipping legdrop and a cradle. All the execution was on point, but this is pretty forgettable stuff.

Jigsaw, Mr Zero, Gran Akuma, Icarus, Jolly Roger, DJ Skittlez, Private Eye & Shane Storm vs Larry Sweeney, Rorschach, Mano Metalico, Share Cropper, Ultramantis Black, Spyrazul, Crossbones & Hallowicked

This is a Cibernetico match, elimination rules with only one guy allowed on the apron at a time, with tags having to be made in a batting order. It’s lucha rules, so tags can be made by one guy leaving the ring and his partner replacing him. There can only be one survivor, so team-mates may have to battle each other at the end to be the winner.

This goes long, 76minutes long to be precise, and it’s remarkable to note that it never drags. On paper, a 76 minute match featuring DJ Skittlez and Private Eye sounds disastrous, but it’s very cleverly worked to keep the pace up and keep things fresh. The first fifteen minutes sees different wrestlers pairing up then tagging out, so even limited guys only need to find two minutes of stuff to do. Then, as Larry Sweeney tags out straight away to avoid Jigsaw, we go through the cycle again, only with wrestlers getting paired up with different opposition. The first time, all the wrestlers are testing the water, basic holds and matwork, so by the second go around, all wrestlers up the tempo a bit, leading to DJ Skittlez looking the best he ever has by just getting in, hitting a few big clotheslines then hitting a big dive to end his ring time. Even so, Private Eye looks a bit clumsy and lumbering, but we also get a fun spot when someone pokes him right in his massive eye to temporarily blind him. This also builds the excitement for the Jigsaw/Sweeney showdown, as once Jigsaw is out, he knows he has to let his whole team cycle through until he has another chance to possibly face Sweeney.

The first elimination doesn’t come until the 44^th minute, when Metalico pauses when Shane Storm holds up his “STOP” sign, and Jolly Roger hits a crossbody to pin him. Other fun eliminations sees Private Eye’s mask turned sideways to stop him seeing, allowing Hallowicked to roll him up, whilst Icarus takes a nasty backpack stunner, also by Hallowicked to be eliminated. The only really prolonged heat section is worked on Storm, giving the rudo team a chance to do a number on him. A lot of ref distractions and multi-man assaults. Loved the Yakuza kick delivered by Crossbones to a kneeling Storm. By the end, we’re down to 3-1, a sneaky brass knuck shot by Sweeney eliminating Akuma to leave Jigsaw all alone against Spyrazul, Rorschach and Sweeney. As Sweeney gloats to the crowd, Spyrazul – who had been late arriving and had taking a few brow-beatings from Sweeney – suddenly downs his partner Rorschach and gestures to Jigsaw to pin him, leaving it 2-1. As Sweeney turns around confused, Spyrazul unmasks to reveal himself as Mike Quackenbush, leaving the match and FINALLY giving us the Jigsaw/Sweeney battle the match had been building to. Really nicely worked angle. Sweeney tries to escape, but gets brought back by Jigsaw who hits a shining wizard to finally win the bout. An unexpected, but resolute, success.

CHIKARA More Songs About Buildings & Food (2004)

Mano Metalico vs Joker

This had it’s moments. Loved the early stages, as Joker trips Metalico to start and attacks the back of his head with rapid fire punches. Metalico plays up the size advantage nicely, making himself hard to move. Loved the spot where Joker reverses an attempted beal into a one-legged codebreaker, looked great. Then things kinda just slow down, as Joker holds a loooong chinlock on Metalico. They basically just wander around the ring a bit and then a Joker Shining Wizard leads to a ten count on the mat. Really hurts the match pacing. Mano is too big for the Joker Driver and he gets planted by some kind of driver by Metalico for the win.

Lance Steel vs Darkness Crabtree

This was an amusing piece of business, as Steel wins with a roll up in a few seconds. We get a fun segment of Crabtree demanding rematches with different stipulations and losing them all immediately (submission match – loses to a headlock in seconds, falls count anywhere – small package outside the ring). Finally he asks for a no countout match, and they disappear outside not to be seen again tonight…

Din Mak vs Matt Bomboy

These two had a reasonable bout on the last CHIKARA show, but it wasn’t so good that I wanted a rematch so soon. This was also totally fine, without ever being close to being great. Bomboy is the standout here, liked his shit-talking during a submission hold on Mak and he hits a Northern Lights Suplex. But there was some really weak stuff here too – Din Mak not only hits a poor sunset flip, but also a dreadful sunset flip powerbomb from the corner looks appalling. Bomboy takes a 360 bump from a clothesline, which doesn’t match how weak the clothesline looked. Bomboy gets the win with a clumsy looking O’Connor Roll.

Claudio Castagnoli vs Sabian

This is European Rules for Claudio’s WxW title, worked in rounds with 2/3 falls or KO rules. This was primarily done to establish the gimmick in CHIKARA, and was pretty effective in doing so. Sabian controls the early going, including some nice armdrag variations, but soon Claudio is able to use his more aggressive side to take over. He even takes a public warning following a cheap shot at the end of round 2. Claudio concentrates on Sabian’s arm, including a nasty looking hammerlock slam. Claudio also makes fun use of the public warning system, waiting until the ref’s is talking to the ring announcer to issue his second public warning, before working Sabian’s arm over in the ropes. The aggressive side of Claudio is also shown by his persistence in going for the KO, and a running uppercut to the back of Sabian’s head gets the 10 count.

The Wildcards vs Team FIST

Another CHIKARA defence of the Wildcard’s IWA-MS tag titles, despite the belts being once again AWOL. Real fun Wildcard’s performance here, starting with Kingston reversing an Akuma wheelbarrow into a massive German suplex. I loved them switching a chinlock on Akuma behind the ref’s back, seemingly for no reason other than they love to cheat. Akuma gets the hot tag after a second wheelbarrow is more effective and it all breaks down. A blown Team FIST double-team slightly hurts the end, before Kingston slams Icarus into a ringpost from a caught pescado and holds Akuma’s leg on a suplex to give his team the win.

Lacey vs Allison Danger

Fun stuff to start with Lacey working some hairpulling schtick early on. Danger hits the ringpost on a corner charge, and Lacey works the arm for the rest of the bout. This is probably for the best, as Danger’s selling is really good here, but her offence a bit less so. Loved Lacey holding onto the arm to kick Danger in the head, giving her less defence, and a hammerlock side slam looks good. Danger’s comeback is a bit low impact, before she picks up the win with a soft looking STO.

Hallowicked vs Skayde

This was fun, but it did feel a bit like an exhibition of cool stuff Skayde could do to Hallowicked by the end. Skayde is in control for the bulk of this, controlling Hallowicked’s arm on the mat in a smoothly worked manner. Hallowicked gets a few chances to show what he can do, and looks good, if not as smooth. It never feels like he’s in any danger of winning however, and it’s no surprise when La Majistral gets the victory for Skayde

Mike Quackenbush vs Oriental

This is for Quack’s IPW Mexican Light Heavyweight title. It’s kind of interesting to compare this to the last match, as here we get smooth matwork with both guys being portrayed as equals, and is therefore more satisfying to watch. The pace of the reversals and counters they worked was very impressive, and Oriental looked great here. His pescado into a rana on the floor was a fun spot to work in front of a crowd of 50 people. Oriental takes control after slightly heeling it up, attacking Quack as he tries to re-enter the ring. At this point, Oriental is all over Quack on the mat, chaining from submission to submission. It’s actually really effective, as you get the impression he isn’t giving Quack the chance to break any holds as he’s already in a new hold by the time Quack could figure out a counter. Quack comes back by reversing a powerbomb into an armdrag midair – looked great – and hitting a big flip dive, before Oriental wins with a tiger suplex. Great bout.

Larry Sweeney, American Gigolo, Share Cropper & Crossbones vs Jigsaw, Jolly Roger, DJ Skittlez & Shane Storm

Decent enough 8-man match that gives everyone a chance to shine, without exposing the weaknesses of the lesser participants. The opening stages see guys pair off for a couple of minutes, with the Jigsaw/Share Cropper pairing probably yielding the best results. Roger/Gigolo is the most pleasant surprise, with some nice looking moves including a pendulum by Roger. Skittlez gets to show off some impressive strength without being over-exposed as he often is in longer singles bouts. There is a goofy 8 man headlock spot that ends in a multi-man Russian legsweep I could have done without, but this pretty much flew by. Loved a nearfall that saw Jigsaw leap in from nowhere to stop Sweeney pinning Roger. However, as it all breaks down, Crossbones hits an enzuigiri from behind on Jigsaw, and Sweeney hits the piledriver to win. Fun way to end the show.

CHIKARA '77 (2004)

Darkness Crabtree vs Jolly Roger

Barely 4 minutes long, but still suffers from the usual problems that Crabtree matches always do: that being that the face has to look like an idiot whilst the deliberately slow Crabtree wanders through moves. Roger at least looks smooth in the opening segments and he does get the win with Walk The Plank, but this is skippable.

Crossbones vs Sabian

This is a pretty straightforward match, nothing special, but fine. Sabian has some nice stiffness to his offence, laying in some chops  and kicking Crossbones in the leg when he’s distracted heckling the crowd. Crossbones is a little clumsier, reversing a rana into a slightly awkward STF. Sabian is in control in the closing moments, but Mano Metallico (who is accompanying Crossbones to ringside) punches Sabian over the referees shoulder and Crossbones hits a brutal looking reverse piledriver to win.

Ultramantis Black vs DJ Skittlez

For two guys I’ve not been massively impressed with in the early days of CHIKARA, this was perfectly fine. Ultramantis adds a lot to the match, remaining just the right side of being irritating whilst shrieking and yelling throughout. He sells Skittlez’s chops hilariously. Liked Ultramantis setting up a hanging neck submission with a Rude Awakening. Skittlez still has awkward looking offence, barely reaching Black with a top rope clothesline. A short match ends with Skittlez sitting down on a sunset flip to win. Black’s improvement was starting to show here.

The Wildcards vs Mr Zero & Shane Storm

This is for the IWA: MS tag titles, that the Wildcards don’t seem to have with them despite being the champions. Zero looks in really good shape here, looking tough rather than just portly. Storm is the weak link of the match, attacking the Wildcards almost exclusively with armdrag variations, and he works the majority of the match (albeit as face-in-peril). The Wildcards are amusingly loud here, and I liked them taking control with a blind tag, Kingston kicking Storm in the face as he ducks a Marciano leapfrog. Kingston choking Storm with a towel as he runs the ropes looks nicely violent, almost like he was trying to pull his head off. Zero gets the hot tag, him and Storm nailing a sloppy looking double team cutter, before we get a melee of all four men in the ring. In all this, Storm gets popped with a loaded fist and rolled up with a handful of tights for the win.

Din Mak vs Matt Bomboy

These are two local guys and, whilst they’ve obviously worked together a few times, this was an enjoyable little match. Bomboy is confusing, he seems to be working a faux-MMA gimmick but decides to pop off a springboard armdrag as one of his first moves. Mak is a masked guy, and he’s got a few nice bits. Liked his stiff kick that blasts Bomboy and he hits a big apron legdrop from the top rope. Bomboy also has some stiff offence, but Mak’s comeback is frustrating as it just comes from nowhere. He’s getting beaten up, then decides he wants to go back on offence. Bomboy hits a final cut and pulls the ropes to get the win.

Gran Akuma vs Sharecropper

Sharecropper is pretty decent for a green guy, and he keeps up with Akuma pretty well here. He lays his stuff in nicely, doesn’t look lost at any point and has a nice reversal of a wheelbarrow into a face plant. He also adds nice little touches, like using his hand to cover the mouth of the masked Akuma during a pin attempt. Sharecropper is a tall guy, so it looks even more impressive when Akuma gets him up for a sitout powerbomb. An Akuma spinebuster looks a bit sloppy, before he gets a win with a decent top rope legdrop. This was solid.

Larry Sweeney, Hallowicked & Claudio Castagnoli vs Mike Quackenbush, Icarus & Jigaw

Fun, if inessential, main event. Enjoyed the early feeling out processes, as all six guys do some nice matwork and bits of one-upmanship. Things quicken a bit as the technico team go through a series of quick tags, working over the heel team with some fun double-and-triple teams. The heels bump and stooge about nicely (Sweeney sells an inverted atomic drop by demanding a timeout as Quackenbush has injured “my weenie”), with Hallowicked taking 2-3 nutty bumps in the space of a minute. The heels then isolate first Icarus and then Jigsaw, with a goofy triple team crossface on Icarus standing out. There’s a nice triple dive by the faces, though Hallowicked is horrifically out of place resulting in him awkwardly having to wander into place. Icarus doesn’t fare well on a split legged moonsault, first slipping on the ropes, then hitting it poorly, crashing mainly his legs into his opponent. The end is pretty nice and gives Jigsaw his revenge for the final of the Young Lions cup – Quack and Icarus lock abdominal stretches on Claudio and Hallowicked, allowing Jigsaw to nail the Jig’N’Tonic on Sweeney for the three. Nothing you’ll remember in a week, but an enjoyable way to pass time.

CHIKARA Young Lions Cup II Night 2 2004

Qeenan Creed vs Chris Hero

This is to replace Jay Lethal, who has no-showed the event. Basic match, pretty inoffensive. Hero is pretty obviously the better wrestler, but Creed adds a few bits to the match with his heeling. Stalling to annoy the crowd, doing a quick pose before missing a corner charge – just little bits to add colour to the bout. His offence is basic, but well executed and, though it’s not a match you’ll remember for long, it’s fine. Hero wins with the Hero’s Welcome.

Sabian vs Jigsaw

This was a step up. Both guys are pretty good by this point, and achieve some nice looking sequences. Liked how even this was until Sabian took a chance with a big flip dive, which gave him control. He’s able to easily counter the Jig’N’Tonic into a bulldog in a nice sequence, and hits a big top rope elbow. You can tell they’re putting in a real effort here, some nice stiff shots by both, and they manage to get the small crowd really into the match. There’s one bad botch, where Jigsaw gets his feet caught on the rope on a plancha, and I liked Sabian having presence of mind to mock him to buy time for the ref to check Jigsaw over. There’s also an odd moment where Jigsaw sells having his nipples tweaked by poking the ref in the eye. That oddness aside, the end is pretty fun, as Jigsaw shows decent strength to catch a Sabian crossbody and transition it to the Jig’N’Tonic to win.

Eddie Kingston vs Blackjack Marciano

The Wildcards collide here. This is pretty long, but is also good fun. A lot of schtick to start, with Kingston demanding Marciano take a dive for him, only to Blackjack to roll him up for two. A load of stalling, with both guys mocking the way the other looks or celebrates hitting a move. Eventually, things get rolling, and it’s pretty good. Kingston in particular is happy to work stiff with his partner. Marciano also takes a big bump to the hard floor, landing with a splat. Kingston shows himself to be slightly better than Marciano at this point, a few things like a bad reverse slam don’t look good by Marciano. There’s a fun ending where both guys decide to walk out rather than wrestle in front of an undeserving audience, then suddenly both sprint back to try and get the other counted out, before a bridging pin wins it for Marciano.

Larry Sweeney vs Shane Storm

Truth be told, I was a little anxious heading into this one. Storm isn’t particularly impressing during these early shows and I didn’t know if Sweeney would be a guy to get a good match out of him. As it was, this was pretty fine. Sweeney slaps Storm early, and this seems to fire him up with his corner splashes actively looking good. Storm even hits a reasonable looking suicide dive. There’s a bit of poor refereeing work, as Sweeney’s henchmen mug Storm outside the ring in such a manner that you’d think it’d be impossible to ignore. Sweeney’s offence is pretty basic, but is well executed, so his heat section on Storm is perfectly fine. There’s a few sloppy moments in the match, most notably when Storm hits a shining wizard on his comeback and tries to pin Sweeney right up in the ropes, but nothing glaringly so, before Sweeney gets the roll up win off a distraction.

Chris Hero vs Gran Akuma

Good bit of storytelling this one, though the match definitely goes on a bit too long. Hero has recently started taking the training in the Chikara school, so there’s a sense of domination throughout as Hero tries to see what one of his students is able to offer against him. It feels like a competitive exhibition, as they work control sections on that mat, but Hero soon starts to build up his strikes and moves, striving to push Akuma to perform at the next level. Hero keeps laying in stiff sounding blows, and Akuma just about remains on his feet. Even when Akuma starts to fire back, Hero remains one step ahead and never really looks in danger of losing. Akuma gets the ropes after surviving the Hangman’s Clutch and gets a nearfall from a falcon arrow, before Hero pins him with the Hero’s Welcome. This does go just over 15 minutes, which is too long for the story, but the meat of this was really good.

Jigsaw vs Blackjack Marciano

Pretty straightforward win for Jigsaw, thought it might be a bit more competitive. Marciano shoves Jigsaw to the floor at the bell, causing a big bump, but Jigsaw isn’t fazed for long and soon is in control, hitting a big cannonball from the top to the floor. You can see just how good Jigsaw was getting by this point, as all his strikes look on point. Real vicious looking kicks. Jigsaw hits a neat leap up rana from the top rope, puts Marciano in a tree of woe for a coast-to-coast dropkick and hits the Jig’N’Tonic to win. Pretty much a squash.

Chris Hero vs Larry Sweeney

Hero gets mugged by Sweeney’s henchmen at the outset, but is still able to put up a fight in the ring. That is, until Sweeney hits him with a foreign object to get the win barely 2 minutes in. It’s the only way you’d really buy Hero losing, and it gives Sweeney a freshness advantage for the final, so it makes sense.

Icarus, Mr Zero & Jolly Roger vs Share Cropper, Mano Metalico & Crossbones

2/3 falls match designed to put over Sweeney’s stable of goons. Share Cropper stands out as the most polished of the three, with a nice bridge on a Northern Lights suplex and moving really well in the ring. Metalico is working a gimmick where is right hand is really solid (and it’s at this point I realised his name translates to “Metal hands”, so that makes sense), and is a big guy. Zero takes most of the heat, as well as making one of his key spots – reading the paper whilst holding a Camel Clutch – look like shit by applying it so sloppily. They bravely give the heels a 2-0 win with the falls, winning the first by dogpiling Zero after a big blow by Metalico, and then winning the second by pinning Icarus following a low blow by Crossbones.

Larry Sweeney vs Jigsaw

This was a suitably decent final. Sweeney’s on top form here, stalling outside the ring, complaining that Jigsaw must have something in his hand after eating a hard chop, and beautifully nailing a shot with a foreign object over the refs shoulder. For his part, Jigsaw’s running knee in the corner looks terrific and he’s got some great timing on his comeback superkick. Again, Sweeney’s control is basic, but it’s effective in getting the crowd behind Jigsaw. Jigsaw does hit a sloppy looking top rope stomp that’s pretty poor. There’s a ref bump before Jigsaw hits Jig’N’Tonic, before his former tag partner Rorschach comes in and nails him with a superkick, with Sweeney hitting a piledriver to get the win. They pretty much made Sweeney in one weekend here, whole tournament worked wonders in getting him over.

CHIKARA Young Lions Cup II Night 1 2004

Ash vs Shane Storm

This was awful. Everything about it felt disjointed and clumsy, especially in the performance of Storm. He sets a bad tone by going down too early on a neckbreaker and is constantly out of position. Ash tries hard here, liked his running knees to the corner and his trio of sentons, but Storm is so bad. They blow a collision spot, before Storm hits a Shining Wizard to advance. At this point, Storm needed to stick with working guys he’s trained with, as he looked so lost in this one.

Larry Sweeney vs DJ Skittlez

This is probably the best Skittlez match I’ve seen, mainly because it comes across as a Poundland version of a Ric Flair vs Sting match. Sweeney (who was accompanied by 3 unnamed henchmen) controlled the match, with Skittlez making comebacks, and did some fun basic heel shtick – begging off before a poke to the eye, pinfalls with feet on the ropes and distracting the ref to allow his henchmen (who were no Anderson or Blanchard) to beat up Skittlez. Sweeney’s execution isn’t perfect, but he’s a magnetic personality already. To further the Flair/Sting allusion, Skittlez hits a nice Stinger Splash, a decent top rope clothesline, catches Sweeney on the top rope to slam him off and hits an inverted DDT. That has to be deliberate, right? He does botch a spinning slam, but his diving clothesline over the top rope to wipe out Sweeney’s goons looked great. However, a distracted ref allows one of them to come in, nail him with a chokeslam, and Sweeney picks up the victory. This was fine.

Spider vs Gran Akuma

Spider is just a normal looking guy, but he hits a big dive to the floor as Akuma makes his entrance to grab some attention. Quite a decent showcase for Spider here, as he seems happy to commit to taking bumps, both on moves taken and moves given, leaping off the mat as he delivers a swinging neckbreaker. Aside from one awkward flub, he doesn’t botch anything, though he does have a goofy way of selling some early strikes. Akuma looks good too, loved the big spinebuster he hits. There is a lack of transition to offence from both guys though, as if a switch has flicked and it’s the guy in perils time to go on the attack. Akuma finishes it with a slingshot powerbomb and complicated submission, and this was better than I expected.

Arik Cannon vs Jay Lethal

For two more experienced guys, this wasn’t particularly great and had a pretty ugly ending. Not as ugly as Cannon’s ring gear, which is terrible pleather binbag gear. The structure here was pretty weak, with Cannon basically dominating 75% of the match before Lethal just decided to go on offence. Cannon’s stuff looks good though, and there appears to be a focus on Lethal’s back. I mean, Lethal never sells his back as hurting, but Cannon hits a big spinebuster, a knee to the spine and a back-cracker in quick succession, so at least there’s intent. Cannon also drops a vicious knee across Lethal’s throat. Then, after hitting 2 suplexes, a third is blocked and Lethal just takes over. Simple as that. Then, the sudden ending. Cannon runs into a Lethal back elbow, and this seems to knock him spark out. Lethal takes ages to cover him, Bryce Remsburg only counts two, then realises Cannon aint getting up, so counts three.

Mike Quackenbush, Mister Zero & Icarus vs Skayde, Ultramantis Black & Hallowicked

Fun trio match to break up the tournament. This is 2/3 falls, but seeing as how the whole match goes 10 minutes, they could just have made it one fall to a finish. This is as fast-paced and action-packed as you’d expect, with lucha tag rules meaning there’s no resting. Loved the Skayde/Quack section at the start to lead to a sweet Quack dive, and Ultramantis takes the Hamrick bump to a matless floor, which had to hurt. The rudos win the first fall with a Black/Hallowicked slingshot/big boot combo on Icarus. The heat is maintained on Icarus in the second fall, until a fun spot where the rudos keep hitting a triple team move, only to let the technico out and having to repeat the spot on his replacement. This obviously end with Quack being the last technico involved and reversing the move. A trip on Hallowicked is followed by stacking Skayde in a submission on top of him for the equalising fall. The third fall fair breezes by, though Skayde looks pretty sloppy throughout it. He seems to stumble his way through a sequence with Quack, before rolling him in a crucifix to win the match for the rudos.

American Gigolo vs Anton Arakis

No idea who Arakis is, but he doesn’t impress here. He moves really oddly, and his standing moonsault looks naff. In contrast, Gigolo seems to be working hard here, a few stiff strikes and some nifty work on the mat, tangling up Arakis’ legs, help carry the match. He also eats turnbuckle on a missed splash with gusto. Gigolo gets the rope-assisted pin after Arakis misses a top rope legdrop

Eddie Kingston vs Jolly Roger

Probably the best Roger match I’ve seen to date, mainly because Kingston really forces him out of his comfort zone. Kingston is vicious here, chopping nastily in the corner, hitting double-foot stomps and nailing a tough Yakuza kick in the corner. Roger seems to be aware of the risk of being eaten up, so fires back with his own nice blows, and gets great height on his own stomps. A top rope cutter is a bit clumsy still, and Walk The Plank is a move that never looks good, but I liked his big dive to the floor. Still, Kingston rightly wins, kicking ref Bryce Remsburg into the ropes as Roger goes to the top, and nailing a top rope exploder to pick up victory.

Blackjack Marciano vs Jimmy Jacobs

Marciano is so much fun as a stooging heel here, really playing up to the antics of Jacobs (who was in full “Barbaric Berserker” mode here). Loved him heelishly putting Jacobs on the top rope, then doing a muscle pose despite his entirely average body. Marciano initially outwrestles Jacobs, so Jacobs retorts by biting him on the arse. Marciano is a lot of fun in control, posturing and showing off, and I like how Jacobs’ comeback wasn’t just due to his speed, but also because he was striking Marciano pretty stiffly. A big boot to the face looked great. The end sees Jacobs try the Contra Code, but Blackjack stops it and nails a reverse powerslam to win. All good stuff.

Sabian vs Niles Young

These guys both come from the CZW wrestling school, and you can tell by the early going, which is all pretty slick in a “we’ve practised this every week in training” kind of way. Sabian decides to focus on Young’s spine, hitting a dropkick to the back, followed by a rolling senton and a penalty kick all to the spine. I loved Sabian’s smarts when, after getting locked in a half grab, he pulls at Bryce Remsburg to pull himself to the ropes for a break. Sabian hits a dropkick to Young’s face so nasty it earns applause. A back-cracker and a sweet looking straitjacket Camel Clutch give Sabian the win.

Jigsaw vs Rorschach

Big sign of Quack’s faith in Jigsaw, as he gets the main event and against a guy who’s been pretty unimpressive in previous shows. One of the fun things about watching CHIKARA from the start is seeing the guys who evolve quicker than others. At first, these two guys felt very similar, thanks to their near identical look, but before the bell rings, you can see Jigsaw has better poise, a better looking physique and better gear, showing an improvement. Here, he works a pretty decent match and Rorschach has never looked better. This is leagues ahead of the Jolly Roger stinker from a few shows previous. Both guys bump big, Jigsaw eating an overhead suplex to the corner and tumbling to the floor, whilst Rorschach takes a nasty spill to floor from the top. Both guys also take big dives, which were impressive. They even get perfect timing on Jigsaw springboarding into the ring, and into a dropkick from Rorschach. Not everything looks good – we’ll not talk about Jigsaw’s twisting moonsault that barely touches Rorschach – but this was a good main event with a great ending, as Jigsaw hits a middle-rope Jig’N’Tonic to definitively put away Rorschach.

CHIKARA Aniversario 3:Dodging The Sophomore Jinx

Shane Storm vs Rorschach vs Sabian vs Melvin Snodgrass vs DJ Skittlez vs Private Eye vs Hallowicked vs Blind Rage

With the exception of Rage, Sabian and Hallowicked, this is very much the dregs of the 2004 CHIKARA roster, thankfully all dumped into one match so as not to infect the rest of the card. This is a Royal Rumble with 60 second intervals, with the final two facing off later in the night. There’s not much to this, though the good thing about this format is that it means guys like Rorschach stick to chops and punches, which they’re ok at, rather than going through a load of moves they can’t do very well. A lot of the comedy doesn’t work too well here, as the audience has a lot of guy in there to look at, so only a select few actually spot the comedy bits. In a manner typical of crappy indy rumbles, there are no eliminations until everyone gets in, then they all go out really quickly. Hallowicked goes out second, meaning I’m praying Sabian and Rage are the final two. In fact, those two make it to the final 3 with DJ Skittlez, and my heart sinks on realising he’s going to make the final. Seconds later, Sabian is dispatched and I’m left to wonder if Rage is going to be able to carry Skittlez.

Darkness Crabtree vs Jolly Roger

The opening moments of this match are quite auspicious, as Crabtree is sent out and just casually wanders into position for Roger to dive on him. The problem with the Crabtree gimmick is that, because he’s played as a barely mobile senior citizen, it makes the face look inept if they have any struggles with him. Here, we get a proper Crabtree heat section, with Roger having to lie on the mat for ages as Crabtree performs a slow mo people’s elbow. I did enjoy Crabtree’s springboard butt-butt to the floor, and they pay off Crabtree’s crabwalk diving headbutt with Roger reversing a second try into a (admittedly crappy) diving stunner. Roger hits Walk The Plank to win.

Murat Bosporus vs Chris Hero

Having two guys like this in the next match feels like a breath of fresh air. This opens with some really fun counter chain wrestling, both guys looking really comfortable doing it. Bosporus shows surprising agility for a squat, stocky guy, cartwheeling out of wristlocks. Bosporus shows the first signs of frustration, using forearms to the face when he can’t counter out of a wristlock, positioning him as the heel. The next section of the match sees them both finding a body part to work over, Bosporus focusing on Hero’s back with a series of backbreakers and slams, whilst Hero keeps his focus on the left arm. Loved Hero selling his back pain by pausing momentarily before running the ropes, a hesitation that gives Bosporus time to prepare and send him over the top to the floor. I liked Hero climbing to the top rope with Bosporus’ arm and dropping down with a twisting hammerlock, which he also sells as hurting his back. Taking the risk in order to hurt Bosporus more. The end was pretty choice, with Hero hitting Hero’s Welcome, with the left arm trapped in a hammerlock, and chaining to the Hangman’s Clutch to win. This was real good.

DJ Skittlez vs Blind Rage

So could Rage carry Skittlez to something watchable? Against all odds, the answer is yes. The trick seems to have been to just keep it simple. At first Rage is on the defensive, taking some big bumps to make Skittlez offence look good. The height Rage gets from a backbodydrop is impressive to behold. Rage manages to hit a dragon screw from nowhere, and from there he focuses his attention to Skittlez’s leg. Rage works it over in an entertaining manner, including a nice low dropkick that sends Skittlez faceplanting onto the mat. Skittlez doesn’t blow any moves on his comeback either, with a spinning slam looking good. At one point, he goes for the Rainbow Bomb from the top, and I thought they’d blown it as it looked more like Rage had given him a bulldog – only to realise that he HAD given Skittlez a bulldog, and it was actually a nice reversal. Rage locks in the STF and gets the win. Perfectly fine match. Post match, Rage cuts a promo to announce his retirement.

Hallowicked & Ultramantis Black vs Mr Zero & Shane Storm

Have to give props to the surprisingly fluid faux-lucha sequence at the start with Black and Storm, looked really good. Zero is fired up to take on his former partner Black, who decides to hide away from tagging in. Given this story, it’s therefore a bit odd when they throw in a bit of awkward comedy (Storm holding up his stop sign to freeze the heels in place) to undermine it. The heels work the heat on Storm, showing some nice teamwork. Zero gets the hot tag, finally getting his hands on Black, but his offence feels a bit lacking, doesn’t seem to be as fired up as you would assume. They start brawling in the crowd and into the toilets, and it all becomes a bit of a mess. Things just break down and don’t look very good. There’s a really nice spot where Zero hits a sitout facebuster onto Storm’s sign (taken with gusto by Ultramantis) that feels like it should finish, but Hallowicked saves. Hallowicked hits a Yakuza kick on Storm to win. Underwhelming match, feels like they could all do better.

Mike Quackenbush, Icarus & Gran Akuma vs Jigsaw & the Wildcards

So, the stipulations for this dictate that whoever eats the pin or submits is punished. For the faces, Quack loses his 6 titles to whomever pins him, Icarus shaves his head and Akuma loses his mask. For the heels, Jigsaw loses his mask and both Wildcards will get their heads shaved. On top of this, if the heels lose, CHIKARA commissioner Cavalier Jones is fired from the company. This is also fought under lucha rules. Got all that? Cool

This goes nearly 40 minutes, and I will say it kept my attention for the entire run. I did have some issues with the match structure, but the action was crisp throughout and everything looked good. I loved Quack throughout this, he’s really a joy to watch in CHIKARA and here he showed a more vicious side than usual – at one point he blasts Blackjack Marciano flush in the face with a kick whilst BJM is in a Camel Clutch. Eddie Kingston is also terrific here – he’s a shit-talking, stooging heel who can turn it on offensively and the switch doesn’t look awkward. At one point here he’s blitzing Akuma with crossfaces, ripping at his mask and lacing in penalty kicks to the back. I think everyone here looked good, but there were issues with the match. Firstly, for an important match with so much at stake, there were still a few too many cutesy comedy bits, like a 6 way headlock or a sequence where the heels end up being dropped into each other’s balls and sitting on each other’s faces. Secondly, and more distractingly, the faces dominate the vast majority of the bout, to the point it just feels inevitable that they’ll win. For ages, the heels are bumbling around, unable to gain any traction whilst the faces outsmart them and make them look like idiots. Marciano suffers to most indignity, as his moves are easily reversed, he eats several low blows and loudly yelps like a buffoon as he gets schooled again and again. When the heels finally get to work a short heat section, it’s wisely on Akuma, a man who has been demasked in previous shows and therefore is the most likely to lose on his team. Things predictably breakdown towards the end, with a few nice little story touches. Most interestingly, the Wildcards fall out with Jigsaw after preventing him pinning Quack after a Jig N Tonic, presumably because they want to win Quacks titles. This leads to Jigsaw walking out, and in the end this costs the Wildcards. Akuma reverse Kingston’s Kondo Clutch to one of his own, Icarus spears BJM from the ring and, with no partner left, Kingston is forced to submit. For all my complaints, this is a fitting pay off for the Wildcards reign of terror and the head shaving is a really fun moment.

CHIKARA Pick Up Or Delivery 2004

Jolly Roger vs Darkness Crabtree

This is the best I’ve seen Roger look so far, and he takes a nasty bump to the unpadded floor to further impress. Crabtree’s old man gimmick actually enhances the match as it means he has to use basic heel offence. Rather than hitting a load of moves like the terrible Rorschach match the previous month, Crabtree uses chokes and back rakes, giving Roger something to fight back from. A rana ends a quick bout for Roger, and I didn’t hate this.

Ash vs Cady 45

These two are from the Squared Circle promotion from Canada. Unlike the previous month, where Sabian and Joker came in and totally stole the show, these two are a bit less impressive. They kick off with a competently worked series of counters and armdrags, which suggests these two work together regularly. Cady seems to botch a flip dropkick in the corner, and Ash, to his credit, instantly pounces to take control. Ash’s heel control is pretty decent, liked his running punt to the ribs and little touches like grinding his forearm into the back of Cady’s head. Cady doesn’t offer much, apart from jumping really high on a Rough Ryder. Ash rolls through a crossbody and grabs a handful of tights for the win.

Sabian & Joker vs Ultramantis & Mr ZERO

Joker and ZERO kick this off with a really fun mat section, and I dug them battling for superiority for a headlock. Ultramantis and Sabian were a bit less smooth, with some move chaining looking a little clunky. The key story point of the match sees Ultramantis put a submission hold on Sabian, but ZERO comes in to show him something in a newspaper, which costs Ultramantis the submission. The CZW boys attack and take over on ZERO. Some nasty looking running kicks in the corner. There are a couple of moments of miscommunication, but the heat on ZERO is suitably nasty. Just horrible little touches like Joker trying to bite ZERO’s mask off, or Sabian picking his nose and rubbing it on the painted mouth of ZERO. Just stuff that makes you want to see ZERO make the hot tag. He finally gets it….only for Ultramantis to turn on him with a snapmere driver and leave him prone for a Sabian senton for the win. This was the birth of Ultramantis Black and, though the turn was obvious given the tension between the two, it was still well executed.

Hallowicked vs Shane Storm

This is the weakest match on the show, and it took me 3 goes not to fall asleep when watching it. Hallowicked tries, but Storm is really green (think this was his second match). His timing is off on a corner charge and though Hallowicked hits a nice big boot to the head, this isn’t great. The end sees Hallowicked miss a swanton and Storm hits a shitty Emerald Frosion to win.

Hornet vs Extremo

Two more Squared Circle guys. Extremo is in decent shape, but Hornet looks so bushleague, even down to his stupid tights. This is just a match, nothing terrible but nothing great either. I liked Extremo ducking a crossbody by arching backwards and Hornet did an interesting hiptoss into an armbar. On the other hand, Hornet takes a terribly rehearsed tumble over the top on a missed corner charge, and Extremo barely touches Hornet on a moonsault. The end sees Extremo win with a victory roll.

The Wildcards vs Gran Akuma & Icarus

This is no DQ, triggered by the Wildcards stealing Akuma’s mask previously. This doesn’t go long, but is plenty of fun. Kingston throws some meaty looking forearms, and I love the fact they unmask Akuma for the second time, which leaves him on the floor covering his face. This means the Wildcards can isolate Icarus in the ring, beating him 2-on-1. Mike Quackenbush rushes out to bring Akuma another mask, and he returns to the ring a house on fire. This doesn’t last long, before Kingston kicks him in the back as he tries a suplex, causing Marciano to land on top for the Wildcards win. This in turn triggers another huge brawl that goes all around the venue and sees the Wildcards thrown out through the side door. Fun stuff all round.

Phantasmo vs DJ Skittlez

This was pretty rough, as neither guy is much cop in the ring. Phantasmo is billed as a luchador, but is so totally unlucha, bar his wearing a mask. Skittlez does seem to be incredibly strong, but doesn’t do anything with it. I did like Skittlez hitting a big suicide dive, but the most memorable thing about the match is Phantasmo somehow losing his mask as he tries to put Skittlez on the top rope, and the match awkwardly stopping as he puts it back on. The end sees Phantasmo casually walk out of the way of a corner charge, but get caught with a Skittlez backslide for the win.

Mike Quackenbush vs Jigsaw

This is a lumberjack match, with 5 of Quack’s titles on the line. Really enjoyed this, thought Quack was terrific and worked a really good match with a guy who’s decent but still green. For his part, Jigsaw held up his end well, but you know he probably wouldn’t be able to have a match this good with someone who isn’t on Quack’s level. Loved the early mat stuff, with Quack finding quirky new ways to apply a headlock, just to show his superiority. Nice to see Jigsaw not looking outclassed as Quackenbush starts to up the pace. Jigsaw has looked a step above the other CHIKARA students in previous shows, and you suspect the others wouldn’t be able to keep this looking competitive. Dug the fun use of the lumberjack stip, as Jigsaw pushes Quack off the apron, only for the lumberjacks to catch him and bounce him back into the ring ready to fight. Quack logically shouldn’t be giving up large parts of a match to a rookie wrestler he’s trained, so him clotheslining the ringpost gives a realistic opening for Jigsaw to attack and take control. All Jigsaw’s armwork looks good too, and it plays into his control as he uses it as a shortcut to stop Quack’s comebacks, and it helps him escape when Quack can’t support his weight on lifts. The end sees Quack finally lift Jigsaw and hit a cross-legged tombstone, only for the Wildcards to return and cause a DQ. Really good match, and real proof of how good Quack was as a wrestler.

CHIKARA Kids Eat Free On Tuesday 2004

Phantasmo & Darkness Crabtree vs Private Eye & Shane Storm

Basic comedy match, worked very simply due to the inexperience of the guys involved. Private Eye’s mask seems to be a big papier mache eyeball, and as such he seems very hesitant of damaging it, not taking any bumps. The highlight of the bout is probably Crabtree using his cardigan to hit a pedigree, otherwise very forgettable. Storm wins with a sunset flip.

Joker vs Sabian

Imported CZW match here, and a really fun one. You can tell these guys have spent a lot of time training together as this was a really smooth match. Loved the opening battle of wristlocks, especially as both made a concerted effort to prevent the other guy getting to the ropes. Joker gets a backbreaker early and focuses his attack on the back, locking in a surfboard and hitting a nasty looking Shock Treatment. This is a bit more vicious than previous matches I’ve seen in CHIKARA, some real intensity on their slaps and running kicks in the corner, especially the Sabian dropkick to the head that sends Joker to the floor. There’s a really nice nearfall as Sabian reverses a Joker Driver attempt to a victory roll, but Joker then hits the Joker Driver for real to win. Really dug this.

Gauntlet Match:

Mr ZERO vs John Brooks

The winner of this gauntlet will challenge Mike Quackenbush for four titles he holds at the end show, which Quack kinda arrogantly shows off before the match. I dug Brooks here, he’s a stocky looking power guy, and he looks decent working over ZERO’s leg after a nice dragon screw. It’s not the most exciting match, but it’s logical and I loved the fluidity of Brooks going from a drop toehold to a Texas Cloverleaf. ZERO ends up winning with something that doesn’t look too good.

Mr ZERO vs Ultramantis

Though ostensibly partners, Ultramantis attacks ZERO’s leg from behind to start and continues this assault. Ultramantis locks on a figure four and holds the ropes to earn the submission

Ultramantis vs Fumar Dos

Dos has the most bush-league look, plain black mask, black t-shirt, terrible binbag trousers. He’s also not very good, with his brief run of offence looking sloppy. Ultramantis takes him out on the floor, suplexes him and rolls him inside for a DVD to win

Ultramantis vs DJ Skittlez

Very brief, though Skittlez finds time to hit a very shitty flying headscissors before a facebuster slam gets 3

DJ Skittlez vs Jigsaw

Ultramantis attacks Skittlez before Jigsaw even gets to the ring, pushing him off the ringpost to the floor. Skittlez responds to this by not selling his disadvantage during the match, and they just have a long bout instead. Even when Skittlez hits his head on the ringpost early on due to a missed corner splash, it doesn’t affect how the match proceeds. Really odd. Jigsaw looked really good here, and I loved his leaping knee to the face in the corner. In contract, Skittlez offence looks really weak – his sitdown slam where he gently places Jigsaw on the match is particularly poor. At one point, he catches Jigsaw on a suicide dive, which is pretty impressive, then just places him back in the ring. It’s like he has no idea how to structure a bout. Obviously, these guys are rookies, but Skittlez is several levels below Jigsaw here. Jigsaw seems to get how to build a match, spending time yelling at the fans before missing a high risk move, giving Skittlez realistic time to recover. The end sees Jigsaw nails an enzuigiri and the Jig’N’Tonic to win.

Jolly Roger vs Rorschach

Honestly, this bout seems like it lasts forever. The initial stages see some terrible work by Roger, slipping on a springboard armdrag and barely bridging on a deathlock attempt. I appreciate that Rorschach at least tries to keep up his heel role, mainly choking and clubbing on Roger, but it devolves to the point of just guys hitting moves that don’t seem to end the bout. Not even well executed moves, with this terrible wheelbarrow slam looking rubbish on the part of both men. They’ve simply been given too long for guys of their experience and they just fill it with move after move with no sense of structure. A running Tomikaze only gets 2 for Roger, but he wins with a rubbish looking flipping cradle from the second rope, despite Rorschach having his shoulder up when the ref started counting. This was wretched.

Hallowicked & the Wildcards vs Mike Quackenbush, Gran Akuma & Icarus

6 man elimination match here, but rather bizarrely there are no eliminations for nearly 30 minutes then they all come at once in a 5 minute spell. The opening stages are really fun, worked primarily on the mat. There’s a really fun section with Quack and Hallowicked battling over a groin hold, and Eddie Kingston’s trash talking is really on point. Also loved the big convoluted submission with 5 guys locking on holds, then Kingston not joining in (in favour of just booting Quack in the face). Crucially, unlike the previous match, it doesn’t feel like moves just for the sake of killing time and it remains entertaining. The turning point of the mat comes when Icarus hits a suicide dive on a Wildcard, and they go flying into a small child at ringside. Though Quack keeps working in ring, you can see Icarus talking to the child who ultimately ends up leaving with his mum. It seems to take the wind out of the crowd, and even Kingston helpfully yelling “Fucking kid will be fine” doesn’t make things better. It also seems to distract the guys in the ring, as things get lost for a little bit. Ultimately, after some compelling heat on Icarus and Akuma (with the rudos trying to unmask Akuma), the crowd get back into it. And then….the eliminations. Quack takes Blackjack Marciano out with a crucifix for 3. Quack gets pinned following an enzuigiri by an interfering Jigsaw. A terrible Kingston moonsault takes out Icarus. A roll up by Akuma on Hallowicked takes him out, leaving it 1-on-1. Kingston then removes Akuma’s mask to get disqualified, ending a rather odd 5 minute spell. I liked this for the most part, though it was pointless making it elimination, as the numbers difference was never exploited or part of the story. They also did well to recover both the crowd and the match after the child injury.