WWF WrestleMania I

One thing I've realised in my time writing this blog is that it serves as a useful resource to myself when I'm trying to remember what I think about a certain match. Sometimes, as a ageing 36 year old, my memories of matches are just like fading fingerprints on an abandoned handrail (to paraphrase Bob Mortimer). Thus I've decided it might be fun/useful to work through the PPV's of the WWF to act as a kind of archive for my thoughts. Ergo, here's Wrestlemania I

Tito Santana vs The Executioner

Executioner is, of course, Buddy Rose. The ropes here are super loose. I kinda got used to it, but it felt really noticeable here. This is neatly worked to make Tito look good, loved him working a headlock, even running up the ropes to get a headlock takeover. Executioner had cut a pre-match promo stating he was going to take out Santana’s legs, and to his credit he starts to focus his offence on them. However, Tito fires up leading to a nice little run by both guys – Santana slams Executioner from the top rope, but eats knees on a splash. Santana slams Executioner back into the ring from the apron, hits a flying forearm and locks in the figure four for a straightforward victory.

King Kong Bundy vs SD Jones

I mean, it’s obvious that this goes longer than the 9 seconds they bill it as, but it’s still a fun deal. Just a nice squash, makes Bundy look killer.

Ricky Steamboat vs Matt Borne

Enjoyed the fun opening stages that establish Steamboat’s superiority to Borne, luring him into running into a chop and slipping out of back suplexes. Borne comes back with a nice belly-to-belly suplex. Both guys exchange nice snug blows, with Steamboat hitting a few choice kneedrops. Steamboat hits a nice top rope crossbody for the win.

David Sammartino vs Brutus Beefcake

Considering how much longer than the previous match this was, there’s very little to say about it. Pretty sluggish stuff, with Sammartino controlling on the mat. He’s not a compelling mat worker, doing some leg work that doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere. Beefcake in control was more interesting, as at least his blows hit with some force. His elbow to the nose in the corner was pretty nasty. Johnny Valliant attacks David on the floor, and we get a big melee leading to a double DQ with Bruno Sammartino getting in and the faces clearing the ring.

Greg Valentine vs the Junkyard Dog

I enjoyed this. Valentine has a good gameplan, going for JYD’s legs as soon as he was on the mat. Also, unlike Sammartino, Valentine’s legwork has a clear end goal and actually looks like it’s going to cause some damage. Loved Valentine’s face first plant to the mat when JYD shoves off a figure four attempt. JYD sells the leg nicely, backing into a corner when on his feet to shield it, and walking gingerly on it when he’s got control. Jimmy Hart ends up taking a big bump when Valentine hits him by accident, falling backwards to the floor, before the Hammer gets a cheat pin in the corner with his foot on the ropes. Post match, Tito Santana comes in to get the result reversed.

The US Express (Barry Windham & Mike Rotunda) vs The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff

Fastly paced little tag sprint, with the US Express looking great to kick off. Nice quick tags and maintaining complete control. The heels get heat on Rotunda, including a nice moment when Rotunda holds onto a hammerlock when getting to his feet to try and make a comeback, with Jesse Ventura and Gorilla Monsoon nicely putting over the instincts of an amateur wrestler to do this. Sheik locks on a sloppy abdominal stretch, which Rotunda hiptosses out of, and Windham is a great hot tag, working at a really high pace. However, he gets taken out by Sheik using Freddie Blassie’s cane and the heels pick up the win and the tag belts.

Andre the Giant vs Big John Studd

This is the $15,000 slam match, with Studd’s money vs Andre’s career. I wrote this up for the Andre the Giant DVD a few years ago, and I agree pretty much with what I wrote then. A pretty brief bout, with Andre never looking in any danger. He wears down Studd with some chokes, a few big chops and a bearhug. He even catches a Studd boot and beats him down before getting a slam from nowhere to win the match.

Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai

Super hot crowd for this, with Richter trying to regain her women’s title. Cyndi Lauper is the manager for Richter here, which has made this a featured bout for the show. Lots of token matwork to start, which does at least lead to a nice power spot as Kai gets caught in a bodyscissors and lifts up Richter from the mat. Impressive spot. Richter gets Kai on her shoulders and hits what looks like Sean O’Haire’s old Widowmaker finisher for two. This is perfectly fine, aided by a hot crowd, but the ending is terrible. Kai hits a top rope crossbody, but Richter clumsily rolls through for the win.

Hulk Hogan & Mr T vs Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff

This match is so carefully orchestrated to milk the maximum reaction from the crowd. The audience pops big when Mr T tags in to face Piper, and there’s been no contact made by anyone. T works a nice little mat section with Piper, before we get a big melee, drawing in Muhammed Ali and an even bigger pop. The heels start to walk out for a fake count out spot, and the crowd are pissed. Just glorious conducting of the crowd. The match starts properly, and the faces outsmart the heels, who stooge about fabulously. There’s a real feeling of chaos and things about to breakdown at any time, as people keep getting into the ring, Bob Orton keeps getting on the apron and Ali on the verge of having to reappear and keep order. There’s two heat sections, on Hogan and on T, and I loved Piper when he is working over Hogan, including a lovely wind-up running punch. We get another melee, and in the mess Bob Orton accidentally hits Orndorff with his cast, leaving him to get pinned by Hogan for the win. Just really well-worked crowd pleasing stuff, with a hot crowd getting built to a fever pitch.

WWF Prime Time Wrestling 30/06/1986

Pedro Morales vs Bob Orton

Solid match, though neither guy feels like they’re really stretching themselves. Orton is on the defence early, with a big goofy sell of a slam and of an atomic drop. A good chunk of this match is built around punches, but luckily both guys have neat looking strikes. Orton sends Morales to the floor with a lovely flurry and slams him onto the concrete. Morales shows some fire when he fires back with a nice range of punches himself. Orton tries to suplex Morales to the floor, but settles for crotching him on the top rope instead, drawing the DQ. Nothing bout, but enjoyable enough.

Nikolai Volkoff & the Iron Sheik vs Danny Spivey & Corporal Kirschner

This was a very poor bout. Crucially, Kirschner is really bad here, looking really lost in the opening matwork. Sheik would take him down, then just roll over to try and give the impression that Kirschner had reversed it. They heels work the heat on Corporal with Spivey yet to get in the ring. It’s a brief heat, though they force in a false tag in those few minutes. Spivey gets tagged in, not exactly a house of fire and is soon locked in a really poor abdominal stretch by the Sheik. It’s so bad that both Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Al call him out on how bad it looks. Sheik does hit a cracking gutwrench suplex moments later, so it’s not all bad. Kirschner gets tagged back in, looking barely trained with some awkward bumping, before Sheik “loads the boot” and gets the pin following a kick to the gut (with Kirschner selling it with a front flip bump, fair play for that). Terrible stuff.

Hercules vs George Wells

On the other hand, this goes less than 5 minutes and is really great. Herc keeps it simple, but his punches look crisp and he hits some great driven knee drops. Just nice connection. Herc goes up top, and Wells catches a crossbody and nails a backbreaker. He immediately misses a corner splash and Herc drives a forearm into his face for the win. Good, simple stuff, executed really well, with one super impressive strength spot by Wells midway through.

Bret Hart vs Jim Brunzell

Delightfully, this is really neat too. Bret reverses an early wristlock to a headlock by yanking the hair, then really works the hold, keeping it locked in despite getting whipped to the ropes. Brunzell starts working the arm, yanking it on the mat whilst forcing Bret’s head away with his boot. Bret turns the tide with a lovely knee to the gut, and proceeds to wear Brunzell down by wearing down the torso, nailing headbutts and boots. Lovely spot where Bret ties Brunzell in the ropes and charges, but Brunzell escapes and Bret gets tangled up at extreme speed. Brunzell bites Bret’s nose, returning a move from Bret earlier, and gets a great nearfall off an O’Connor roll. Brunzell gets the win with a sudden backslide. Really good stuff.

King Kong Bundy vs Hillbilly Jim

Very brief match, but nothing much to complain about. Two big lads hitting hard-hitting, yet unrefined bombs. Hillbilly avoids what looks to be an unlikely Bundy dropkick early doors, but meets boots in the corner. They do some shtick where Bundy won’t let Jim back into the ring, before Jim gets the boots up on an avalanche. Jim gets a few moves in, but makes the mistake of trying to whip Bundy into the corner. Of course, he reverses it and nails the Avalanche, then hits a huge splash for the win.

Sivi Afi vs Ron Shaw

This puts an end to the “really good stuff” run, though I kind of liked Shaw here. Big goofy looking guy, but he moved well, looked athletic on a leapfrog and nailed a big jumping knee. His back breaker was pretty soft though. Afi doesn’t do much here, few headbutts and a lot of armbars held from armdrags, before a top rope crossbody gets the win. Meh.

Big John Studd vs Paul Orndorff

Orndorff is wearing a protective cast on his right arm, which features prominently in this match. Studd is sluggish, but Orndorff is fired up and works around the fact you can’t do much with Big John by milking the most from every shot he hits. Studd catches him on a crossbody and roughly slams him in the corner, but then bizarrely goes to the top rope, predictably eating a cast shot to the stomach on his way down. Studd hits a sloppy looking atomic drop and telegraphs Orndorff skinning the cat by clearly talking to him and gingerly throwing him over the top rope. Orndorff hits Studd with a flurry of neat shots and nails him off the top with his cast, but Heenan comes in to break up a bodyslam, earning the DQ win for Orndorff. Great performance by Mr Wonderful.

WWF Prime Time Wrestling 23/06/1986

Danny Spivey & Mike Rotundo vs The Moondogs

This is from the period where Spivey was replacing Barry Windham in the US Express. He’s obviously not as good, but this is in no way a bad match. Spivey and Rotundo control early, confusing Spot with some fun teamwork, and the Moondogs find it hard to get into the match until a blind tag lets Rex attack Rotundo from behind. The Moondogs make everything look painful here, with Rex in particular hitting some meaty elbowdrops. The heat is worked on Rotundo, who gets in a few hope spots with a crossbody and a sunset flip for nearfalls. A back suplex leads to a hot tag, with Spivey not exactly lighting things up with a weak swinging neckbreaker. Liked the ending though, as Rotundo hits an airplane spin on Rex and covers him, with Spivey standing guard against a frustrated Spot in the corner. Solid bout.

The Iron Sheik vs Pedro Morales

The commentary team are quick to remind that these are two former world champions, setting the “screwy finish” alarm bells ringing with this being the second match of the show. Gorilla and Lord Alfred also take great pleasure in fat shaming a fan who gets into a big argument with the Sheik. Indeed, arguing and stalling makes up a big part of what Sheik bring to this match. He keeps breaking up every Morales advantage by bailing, and only stays in the ring when he’s got control following an eye poke. Sheik mainly controls with cheap offence, raking the eyes, throwing Pedro to the floor and ramming him into the announce table. Camel Clutch is locked in, but Pedro gets to fight back and make the ropes. Pedro’s comeback is fun, he’s pretty fired up which especially contrasts with the Sheik’s offensive run. The end is inevitable though, as Sheik gets Morales’ foot tied in the ropes, refuses to stop attacking him and pushes the ref for a DQ.

Lord Littlebrook vs Cowboy Lang

Typical midget comedy match with some surprisingly nice moments from Littlebrook. You have to get passed the usual shit first, Lang biting the ref’s arse somehow not drawing a DQ, but Littlebrook looks to throw in some clubbing blows and a proper nice kneelift, before Lang pins him following a rolling cradle. Not worth watching.

George Wells vs Hoss Funk

Man, Wells must have pissed on Monsoon and Lord Al’s chips at some point, as they spend most of the match talking about his size, his ponderous lack of speed and how he’s definitely not winning the match. Wells does get to overpower Funk at first, but gets backed into a corner and Funk just takes over. It doesn’t last too long before Wells blocks a suplex, hits his own and they just seem to reset the match. Right back to Funk trying to shoulderblock Wells down, as he had at the start of the bout. Monsoon says that Wells “starts slow and gets slower”, before a Wells football tackle is greeted with a knee right to the face. Perfectly timed, it looked like it knocked Wells out. Wells does get one last impressive power spot, catching a top rope clothesline and hitting a backbreaker, but a 2^nd rope splash gets knees for the Funk win. Monsoon and Hayes crow at their earlier prediction.

Harley Race vs Lanny Poffo

Interesting match here, as it’s a massacre by Race that somehow lets Poffo come out of the match looking better than he went in. Poffo is competitive in the early going, avoiding a diving headbutt and kipping up into a side headlock takeover on Race. Harley soon take over, lovely gutwrench suplex is followed by a piledriver, with a foot on the rope saving Poffo. Outside the ring, Race hits a brainbuster on the concrete, which is pretty wild. Diving headbutt on the floor follows, as Hayes and Monsoon put over Poffo just for surviving this. Back in the ring, Race drops some nasty kneedrops on Poffo’s face, grinding the knee there. Lanny makes a brief comeback with a flying headscissors, but Race adjusts his balance on a second and drops him into a stungun. Fisherman Buster finally puts Poffo away. Really fun stuff.

George Steele vs Nikolai Volkoff

This…wasn’t so fun. Both are limited guys who can be fun with the right opponent, but against each other it’s not pretty stuff. Volkoff clubs away in an unexciting manner, before Steele charges himself up by eating a turnbuckle. Steele hits Volkoff with a foreign object and blocks a clothesline with a bit in an admittedly fun spot, but when Volkoff refuses to let him back in the ring, Steele bops him with a steel chair. Brief, but not brief enough.

WWF Monday Night Raw 25/07/1994

Tatanka vs Nikolai Volkoff

This is a $10,000 Challenge match, with Ted DiBiase putting up a prize if Tatanka can beat Volkoff. Jim Ross perfectly describes Volkoff, claiming “He’s not a smooth wrestler, but a powerful one”, as Volkoff slowly beats Tatanka down. His clubbing blows look good, but in contrast his kicks look absurdly weak. Tatanka comes back with a nice clothesline, looks more like he just runs up and whacks Volkoff hard in the side of the head. Tatanka gets the win by rolling up Volkoff on an attempted slam, but man this doesn’t exactly build him up for a match with Luger at Summerslam. Taking a beating from 47yr old Nikolai for most of the match isn’t exactly designed to make him look strong.

The Headshrinkers vs Barry Hardy & Joey Stallings

Stupidly, we go to commercial just as the Shrinkers reach the ring. We return to the Shrinkers just destroying Stallings. Nice DDT from the corner by Samu, before they just beat Stallings down in their corner. Double team Stroke is followed by a top rope Fatu splash for the win. Hardy never gets in.

Jim Neidhart vs Jim Powers

Powers gets sent to the floor at the start with this insanely high elevation. After that, it’s a pretty generic squash, all choking and clubbing by the Anvil. The end sees him lock in a sort of Dragon sleeper Camel Clutch, though he barely has Powers’ head under his control.

Adam Bomb vs Yokozuna

Curiously worked, feels like they want to keep Bomb strong, but aside from an opening shoulderblock that sends Yoko to the floor, he gets nothing for the majority of the bout. It’s all Yoko, until Bomb avoids a corner charge. Liked Yoko ducking a clothesline, only for Bomb to hit him with a DDT instead. The match looks to be hotting up, until Kwang trips Bomb from the floor, drawing him out and resulting in a count out. Not much to this.

Duke Droese vs Duane Gill

Fun squash, with the Dumpster just overpowering Gill all match. Big press slam, nice bearhug and a good slam are followed by the Trash Compacter for the win. This was good enough.

WWF Raw 20/06/1994

Diesel vs Mark Thomas

Thomas is quite a well built jobber, so he’s a good choice to make Diesel look like a beast. Diesel shows a nice little bit of aggression here, hitting a big knee right from the lock up. Thomas decides to bump snake eyes right on top of his head before the Jack-knife finishes. Decent enough.

1-2-3 Kid vs Nikolai Volkoff

Bizarrely, the winner of this match gets a title match against Bret Hart. So, I guess Volkoff’s squash win over a pre-fame Matt Hardy was sufficient to put him in the title frame right away. Kid does a lot here to make Volkoff look good, running with gusto into shoulderblocks and making him look like a brick wall. Volkoff does a few nice bits, good looking butterfly suplex and a pair of press slams into a back breaker, but makes the mistake of picking kid up on 2 counts. Really don’t think you can afford to risk a title match at this stage of your career, Nikolai. Kid seems to jar his knee in the corner, but it turns out he’s faking it to roll up Volkoff for the win. So the title match goes to the man who has to fake an injury to sneak a win over ancient Nikolai Volkoff.

Yokozuna vs Nick Barberi

Love the early contrast as Barberi throws a handful of ineffectual punches before getting felled by one blow from Yoko. Yoko shows some nice aggression, clawing at Barberi’s face whilst choking him, before hitting a belly-to-belly and a legdrop to win.

Typhoon vs the Black Phantom

Pretty basic squash, but I really dug Typhoon’s suplexes. He doesn’t bother hooking an arm, he just puts his opponent in a front facelock and hoists him over with raw power. Looks great. A corner splash and a normal splash get the win.

Heavenly Bodies vs Jim Powers & Russ Greenberg

Oddly, the early stages of this match mark out Powers as more than a handful for both Bodies. Both Del Ray and Pritchard bump around for his generic offence, and even a double team ends with Powers booting one of them in the face and getting a small package on the other. All this whilst Jim Cornette on commentary hypes them as tag title contenders. Very odd. Greenberg is less effective, , eating a superkick right away. Nice Bodies double teams follow – a great elevated DDT, a leaping sideslam and Pritchard holding Greenberg in place for a Del Ray moonsault press. Fun stuff after the odd Powers run.

WWF Prime Time Wrestling 12/05/1986

George Steele vs Jim Neidhart

This isn’t a match up that really appeals, but this is surprisingly not too bad. Liked the opening where Neidhart suckers Steele to chase him outside and ends up with Steele tangled up in the ropes. This is a really short match, which is probably for the best, as Neidhart goes to get a chair from outside, gets stopped by the ref and in the melee Steele hits him with a loaded fist for the win.

Bret Hart vs Sivi Afi

There’s a noticeable gulf in quality between these two here, Bret being clearly a step or two ahead of Afi. An early O’Connor roll is blown, but at least we return from an ad break with Bret in control. His offence looks really good here, loved how fluidly he goes from dropping a 2^nd rope elbow into a pinfall. We get a “Samoan man has a hard head” spot as Afi no-sells a shot to the turnbuckle and rams his own head several times, but aside from that he contributes little. He looks like he’s not really sure how to run the ropes, always going from odd angles. A flipping senton looks more like he’s doing a forward roll, but Bret suddenly catches him with a great-looking backbreaker for the win.

Iron Mike Sharpe vs Corporal Kirchner

Hard to say how I felt about this one, wasn’t a particularly bad match, but nothing about it really stands out. It just…happened. Sharpe continues to be fun at stooging about, leaping about to put over the power of Kirchner’s hammerlock and taking a hilarious fall into the announce table. Sharpe isn’t as much fun on offence – he’s plodding and slow, with big pauses in between blows. Kirchner seems pretty athletic and moves well, but doesn’t do anything to convince he can put a match together. A nice Samoan drop gives the Corporal the win.

Jake Roberts vs Scott McGhee

McGhee is pretty generic on offence, all pretty simple bodyslams and decent punches. Jake’s movement really stood out, loved the way he doesn’t so much climb in the ring as he slinks in. Jake hits a nice stomachbreaker and I dug the mindgames as he held McGhee in a chinlock and slowly dragged him towards the snake bag in the corner. McGhee fires back and looks really good in the process – nice looking back suplex that hits with real impact and a decent second rope kneedrop. Roberts hits a DDT from out of nowhere to win. The post-match ‘snaking’ sees McGhee coughing up blood in a nice twist.

Tony Atlas vs Hercules

This is JIP and we’re instantly into a test of strength spot. Hercules is pretty sluggish in control, which really contrasts with Atlas, who looks fired up on his comeback. Herc locks in a pretty mighty looking torture rack before Atlas gets the win with a sunset flip. Too short to be offensive, at least.

The Killer Bees vs Nikolai Volkoff & the Iron Sheik

Pretty decent match to end the show, it’s a formula tag team match and they interestingly keep Volkoff out for the majority of the bout. The Bees work well in the early stages, isolating Sheik and making quick tags. Brunzell and Blair both spend time as the face in peril, and I liked how, when Brunzell did get to make a small comeback with a sunset flip, Sheik instantly come in to distract the ref and prevent a count. Blair gets locked in the Camel Clutch and gets to hold on a surprisingly long time before Brunzell makes the save. Brunzell gets the hot tag, and looks pretty fired up when he get’s on offence. He locks a sleeper in on Sheik, but Volkoff nails him from behind which gives Sheik the win. Just a nice, solid tag match.

WWF Prime Time Wrestling 28/04/1986

Nikolai Volkoff vs Tony Garea

Having unexpectedly enjoyed a Volkoff squash from a 94 Raw recently, I went into this with positive feelings. They were misplaced. My favourite thing Volkoff does here is fully commit himself to missing moves, going full-on into the turnbuckles on a missed splash. His offence doesn’t have the same level of commitment, as his strikes all look really wispy, his shitty spinning kick looking particularly bad. Garea gets some good nearfalls from a backslide and a sunset flip, but ultimately spends too long looking for approval and falls prey to Volkoff hitting a press slam into a backbreaker. This may sound like a good move, but Volkoff so obviously protects him with a flimsy backbreaker that it’s a move he’d be better off not attempting.

Jake Roberts vs Scott McGhee

This was a lot more urgent to start, Jake firing off some lovely punches and a really tough looking gutbuster. We’ll pass over McGhee’s terrible looking gutwrench suplexes to be nice. McGhee misses a kneedrop, and I like that he sells it for the short remaining time of the match, hobbling into the short arm clothesline. Jake hold onto the ropes on an attempted O’Connor roll, and plants McGhee with the DDT as he’s getting up. Post-match, Jake gives McGhee a proper snaking (lets pretend that’s the correct verb), draping Damian on him again and again.

King Tonga vs Paul Christy

Not a fan of Christy here, he’s got the softest strikes and has a really awkward in ring manner. Tonga basically overwhelms him here, with the only offence Christy mustering is a repeated choke in and across the ropes. Doesn’t help him, as the moment Tonga gets back to his feet, he nails two blows to Christy’s throat and hits a top rope headbutt to win.

Rene Goulet vs Lanny Poffo

Call me crazy, but I really enjoyed this. Really dug the matwork to start the match, really nice feeling of one-upmanship between the two. Even the commentary, where Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred and Ernie Ladd debate the pros and cons of Poffo’s backflip taunt, is fun. Goulet is great as a stalling, cowardly heel trying to provoke Poffo into a mistake. His shit eating grin as he hangs off the ringpost outside the ropes is terrific. Poffo takes some big bumps off a missed moonsault and some missed dropkicks, and Goulet’s double-foot stomps looked nasty. In the end, Poffo slams Goulet off the top and hits a flip senton for three.

Professor Toru Tanaka & Mr Fuji vs Lenny Hurst & Jose Gonzalez

This is the classic match, JIP from 1977. It’s 2/3 falls and the first fall is really short. Gonzalez gets beaten down and caught with a big clothesline by Fuji for the first fall. 2^nd fall sees Gonzalez make the tag to Hurst, who’s offensive run is very brief before Tanaka basically beats him through the ropes. A sleeper puts Hurst out for the three count. Really not sure what the point of including this was.

Sivi Afi vs Iron Mike Sharpe

This is sloppy to start, with Afi barely getting over Sharpe on a legdrop and a really poor looking droptoehold. Things do thankfully improve after that, loved Sharpe’s big bump from a dropkick than sent him from the ring, over the railings and into the crowd. There is a contrast between the thuggish power of Sharpe and the overenthusiastic fast-paced offence of Afi. It’s a nice contrast, and this is pretty fast paced, with both guys missing lots of moves which means neither gets prolonged control. They also exchange some big blows in the ring, with an audible smack to their strikes. The end sees both guys fighting outside the ring, with Afi just about skinning the cat in time to win. The ref does seem to take ages to make his count, which Gorilla Monsoon calls him out for on commentary.

Iron Sheik vs Corporal Kirchner

Shiek jumps Kirchner right from the get go, choking him out with his flag. Kirchner at least seems fired up on his comeback, but this makes him prone for mistakes and Sheik takes over with a gutwrench suplex that sees him land on Kirchner’s head. Volkoff assaults Kirchner outside the ring, which ultimately sees Sheik disqualified. This was fine enough, but not exactly a banner main event.

WWF Raw 23/05/1994

Owen Hart vs Doink the Clown

This is a King of the Ring qualifying match. Really great Owen performance here. He’s suitably aggressive at the start, jumping Doink at the bell, hitting big upper cuts, and cheating with chokes and eyepokes. Doink is pretty generic by comparison, and relies on Dink outside the ring to give his performance some colour. Dink is a pretty irritating little twat, it has to be said. Honestly, the clowns are so unlikable, it makes it hard to feel bad for Doink when Owen goes after his leg, wrapping it around the ringpost. Owen also hits a perfect belly-to-belly suplex. Doink makes a brief comeback that gets stopped by Jeff Jarrett kidnapping Dink. This distraction lets Owen kip up and roll up Doink to win. Love that Owen kipped up to do the roll up, so wonderfully cocky, and I love that Jarrett let Dink go as soon as Doink lost – can’t blame him for not wanting to be stuck with the shitty little clown.

Duke Droese vs Barry Horowitz

I’m sure this wasn’t the aim of this bout, but I left it thinking Horowitz had a great performance. He bumps around to make Droese look more powerful than he probably was, and his control section on the arm was really fun. Dug him wrapping the arm around the ropes, then giving the ropes a kick. For his part, Droese was fine, nice power moves, but he’d look a touch lost between moves. His spinebuster looked good, and his finishes it with an elbow that looked far worse than the Trash Compacter that he’d later use.

IRS vs Gary Sabaugh

This is really dull. Sabaugh is the former Italian Stallion, but this is a one-sided squash for IRS, and he’s a terrible squash worker. His offence is really basic, and whilst there’s been many a good in-ring story told with not many moves, a squash needs something more interesting to carry the bout along. Not IRS hitting short back elbows, then going to the mat for extended hammerlocks and chinlocks. A brief Sabaugh comeback ends with a stungun, and IRS hits a basic clothesline to win. Waste of time.

Nikolai Volkoff vs Matt Hardy

I liked far more of this than I should have. Volkoff is old and pudgy, and he unleashes some of the weakest looking strikes in this match, but he also works a fun match section to start the bout, he avoids a springboard crossbody by casually walking out of the way, he hits  nice butterfly suplex and wins with a nice Boston crab. I dug this. 

WWE True Giants - Disk One

As a fan of the Big Lads of pro-wrestling, this was a really great 3 disk collection put out last year. The documentary part was really fun, and then 2 disks were just made up of some really interesting looking matches. This is the first disk, with the other one hopefully coming up later this week.

Bruno Sammartino vs Ernie Ladd

Pretty enjoyable match for the most part, with Ladd working a load of fun cheating into the match. They establish before the bell rings that Ladd has a thumb weapon hidden on his person that you know will come into play at some point. Really liked Ladd’s sense of positioning, using his long legs to put his feet on the ropes when applying a bearhug to Bruno, and constantly circling whilst choking Bruno to prevent the referee seeing what he’s doing. Bruno makes a comeback, and Ladd bumps big for him, seesawing himself in the ropes. Ladd retrieves his weapon and uses it to take advantage again. Ladd hits some weak looking shoulderblocks, but his big legdrop looks as good as ever. Ladd misses a top rope splash, however, and that’s good enough for the pin for Sammartino.

Gorilla Monsoon vs Superstar Billy Graham

I can only assume they didn’t have many Monsoon matches in the archives, as this is pretty poor. Shame, as it starts off really well. Graham tries to knock Monsoon down, with Monsoon barely reacting. Suddenly, Monsoon explodes with his own shoulderblock to down Graham, quickly locks on a giant swing and then blasts Graham with a splash, with only the ropes saving Superstar. So great, it just came out of nowhere and suddenly Graham was nearly done. From then on, it’s all Superstar. He takes control with a low blow and applies two back-to-back bearhugs on Monsoon. He continues working the lower back, ramming Monsoon into the railings outside then hits a top rope kneedrop for the anticlimactic win (with Monsoon’s feet clearly in the ropes). Graham’s control was pretty dull and this went rapidly downhill after the fun opening.

Haystacks Calhoun vs Nikolai Volkoff

Very quick match. Some basic brawling to start, before Calhoun traps Volkoff in the corner and splashes him. Volkoff misses a knee charge and gets splashed for the win. Nothing to this.

Ernie Ladd vs Kerry von Erich

Bit scrappy this one, I’ve seen better from these two. There’s just too many moments where it feels like they aren’t on the same page, and have to slow it down to reset. That said, there were good things here too. Ladd is so good at using his size to immediately reach for the ropes when Von Erich puts any hold on him, and I love little things like shaking his own hand after a chop because he hit Kerry so hard. Kerry wears the Big Cat down by ramming his head into the turnbuckles, with Ladd slowly going down to a knee and getting rammed into the middle buckles. Ladd takes over with a foreign object, just as in the Bruno match, but there’s some fun turnabout as Kerry grabs the fist and causes Ladd to hit himself instead. These moments just make it more frustrating when things go off the rails again, before Kerry wins with a sloppy top rope sunset flip.

Ernie Ladd & the Wild Samoans vs Andre The Giant, Dusty Rhodes & Junkyard Dog

This is a really quick sprint, but it’s a load of fun. It’s not pretty, but they work a high tempo and keep the tags quick enough to maintain that pace. Loved the heels trying to isolate Andre in their corner, only for him to free himself, dragging Ladd and one of the Samoans with him as he gets to his own corner. The heels find it hard to gain any traction, until Ladd breaks an Andre pin with a legdrop, and the Samoans slam Andre. Things quickly break down and Andre is able to hit a 2^nd rope splash on Ladd for the win.

King Kong Bundy vs Dusty Rhodes

Two big boys colliding here. Dusty outpaces Bundy to start, peppering him with punches. Dusty gets huge reactions just by teasing the elbow. Bundy works a bearhug, which is fun as they pepper in fun comebacks for Dusty. Dusty elbows his way to freedom and peppers Bundy’s head with more elbows, busting him open. This cues up One Man Gang to enter and draw the DQ ending. Fun match

Hulk Hogan vs Big John Studd

This seems to be right at the start of Bobby Heenan’s WWF run, with Gene Okerlund and Monsoon basically introducing him to the audience with their commentary. Hogan is so great in this match, all fired up and ready to fight. He absolutely nails Studd with a running back elbow in the corner, which looks great. Studd takes over after blocking a slam, and he’s really not a fun offensive wrestler. Just methodical clubbing blows. Hogan bleeds nastily, with blood smearing the ring apron and his white trunks, and this seems to fire him up. Hogan’s angry attack is great, but they end up fighting outside the ring, with Heenan pushing Studd back in to beat the count at Hogan’s expense. This was the best Studd match I’ve seen, and that’s because Hogan brought the fire.

Kamala vs Andre The Giant

This is a cage match, and is exceptionally tedious. The start is fine, with Andre ramming Kamala into the cage causing Kamala to want to find a way out quickly. He does manage to overwhelm Andre and nail a splash, but tries for a pin due to not knowing the rules. We then endure a LOOOOOONG stretch of Kamala chopping and choking Andre, trying to escape, Andre grabbing his foot, repeat ad infinitum. This is finally broken by Andre grabbing Kamala and choking him out, slamming him and nailing a top rope buttdrop before escaping. This was terrible.

One Man Gang vs Shawn Michaels

Complete squash. Gang clubs Michaels to the floor, hits a big clothesline and powerslam in the ring and finishes with the 747

The British Bulldogs vs King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd

Same match as from the Bulldogs’ VHS I wrote about 5 years ago. Decent little match, with the Bulldogs using speed and superior double-teaming to control early on, but suffering as soon as Bundy isolates Davey Boy. Bundy is clearly better than Studd, with his offence looking far more painful and moving with more speed. Bit of a cheap ending as Dynamite Kid suddenly runs in, locking on a sleeper that looks like he’s pulling Studd’s head off, and we get a DQ win for the Bulldogs as Studd pushes the referee over. This was fine.

One Man Gang vs Ted DiBiase

Really liked DiBiase here, showed great babyface fire. Gang was the perfect foil, not only having good control and convincingly wearing DiBiase down, but also allowing for well timed openings on DiBiase’s comebacks. A missed elbow by Gang shakes the ring, and I loved how DiBiase keeps moving wherever possible. Gang misses the 747, and DiBiase tries a figure four. Gang’s leg strength sends Ted into the ropes, where he bumps heads with Skandor Akbar, the Gang’s manager. DiBiase is out, and Gang hits the 747 to the back, before hitting one from the second rope to confirm the pinfall victory. Really dug this.

Andre The Giant vs Randy Savage

This is for Savage’s WWF title. Some fun hullaballoo to start, with the ref sending Bobby Heenan to the back. Andre sneak attacks to start, hitting a big headbutt to send Savage to the floor. Even better, when Savage is on the apron, he hits a massive chop to bring Savage back into the ring. Loved Savage’s comeback where he just runs right by a big boot and hits a clothesline to tie Andre up in the ropes. Andre frees an arm and one chop is enough to stagger Savage, playing up Andre’s size advantage. Savage goes up and hits the double-axe handle, but misses the top rope elbow (with terrible camera work missing the whole thing). Andre goes to the floor and tries to grab Elizabeth, leading to a brawl and double count out. Disappointing ending. The post-match is pretty wild, with Andre grabbing the belt and roughing up the referee, demanding to be declared champion. Andre stands alone in the ring with the title to round out this disk.

WWF The British Bulldogs

This is a VHS release from the mid 80's designed to showcase then tag champs the British Bulldogs. Aside from some less-than-fascinating footage of Davey Boy Smith and the Dynamite Kid working out, the content is almost all match footage, which should be good. Which SHOULD be good. Unfortunately, whoever selected the matches really wanted the Bulldogs to look like crap.

The British Bulldogs vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff
This is from late 85, at a time when Beefcake and Valentine currently held the tag-titles. Sheik and Volkoff don't really give the Bulldogs much offence here, but what little we get is pretty spectacular. Sheik's offence looks particularly milky here, while Volkoff at least looks committed with his clubbing blows, and he has a nice way of cowering off on the moments when the Bulldogs are on offence. Dynamite Kid soon becomes the face-in-peril, where Volkoff has one particularly impressive spot when he holds Kid off the ground in a choke with one hand, high over his head. The Bulldogs finally get a bit of offence when Sheik hits Volkoff by accident and Davey Boy gets two on a running powerslam on Sheik. However, Sheik is soon back on offence, leading to the camel clutch, which Kid breaks. Volkoff goes for a slam on Smith, but Dynamite gets a missile dropkick, which leads to Davey Boy landing on top for the win. Not a particularly good showcase for the Bulldogs here.

Dynamite Kid vs Bret Hart
Man, this gets good straight away, with the opening sequence so good that they go to a replay of it within two minutes of the match starting. Kid then hits Bret with a beautiful snap suplex before we get some clipping. On return, the two men are still trying to outwrestle each other to gain superiority. Bret finally takes control, including slamming Kid onto the concrete floor outside. Bret keeps control over Kid, but Kid manages to absorb the offence and keep hitting flash pins on Bret for two counts. Hart soon gets frustrated by this and chokes Kid before tying him in the ropes, but Dynamite avoids a crossbody, leaving Hart caught up in the ropes. Kid absolutely folds Bret in two with a back suplex and starts to work over the Hitman. It's great just how fluid Dynamite is here, everything looks perfect, including how smoothly he goes from offensive maneuvers to pinfalls. Bret takes control and throws Kid outside, which somehow warrants a replay. When we comes back, Kid has rolled up Bret for the win. Really fun match which they manage to almost run with shitty production errors. Anvil attacks Dynamite after the match, only for Davey Boy to make the save, This leads to...

Davey Boy Smith vs Jim Neidhart
The battle of the powerhouses. Davey Boy tries to take the Anvil down by running off the ropes, but this ends in a stalemate, so instead Davey downs the Anvil with a single-leg takedown. This pretty much sums up the match- Neidhart uses his strength to take control, but Davey Boy comes back by using his superior speed and matskills. Sadly, the match only goes a few minutes, before the Anvil drops Smith facefirst on the top turnbuckle from an attempted avalanche, and picks up the win. A bit pointless.

The British Bulldogs & Capt Lou Albano vs Greg Valentine, Brutus Beefcake & Johnny Valiant
As a WrestleMania 2 preview, the two teams meet with their managers in a 6-man tag. The first thing this match does is remind me that, as badass as Greg Valentine was, he was more than happy to stooge around to make his opponents look good. Here he flops around on missed elbows and bounces for atomic drops that make the Bulldogs look even better. However, Valentine is also happy to match both Bulldogs blow for blow, which makes the decision to have the Hammer do most of the work for his team a sensible one. There are moments when the match threatens to become a bit of a mess - the first Bulldog hot-tag is an anti-climatic moment that the fans barely notice following a brawl between all six men - but things just about keep together. Beefcake possibly spends less time in the ring here than Valiant, but he does hit a nice vertical suplex for two. The Hammer then hits an odd piledriver on Kid that ends up almost like a tombstone for two. Hot tag is made to Davey Boy, and it's Valiant who ends up bumping like a pinball for him, getting huge air on a back bodydrop and getting caught with a big running powerslam for two. All six men end up in the ring, but Valentine and Valiant get taken out, and Beefcake is rolled up for three. Beefcake must be pretty low on the pecking order that he took the fall instead of his manager.

The British Bulldogs vs The Dream Team
Sadly it's only the last two minutes of the WrestleMania 2 match. This does mean I still got to enjoy Davey Boy holding up Valentine one-handed for the running powerslam and Beefcake slamming Smith on a hammerlock in an insane bump, before the Bulldogs win the tag titles following a clashing of heads between Dynamite and Valentine

The British Bulldogs vs The Moondogs
Fun little match here. The opening shows the Bulldogs matching strength with the Moondogs, before taking control on Spot with some dropkicks. Clip to the Moondogs dominating Davey Boy. The match takes on a pretty solid formula tag match from this point, with the Moondogs keeping Davey Boy down and cutting the ring in half. Rex hits a big splash for two before Spot and Smith clash heads. Davey Boy tags Kid, but only on a false tag, allowing the Moondogs to keep control. A second-rope splash from Rex hits Davey's knees and Davey Boy then suplexes Spot to get the hot tag to Dynamite. Kid is like a whirling dervish as he dominates both Moondogs, before Rex throws him out of the ring. In a cool finish, Rex and Davey Boy brawl in the ring, allowing Kid to fly over them from the top rope onto Spot for the win. Plenty of fun and the best the Bulldogs have looked as a team thus far, might well have been even better without clipping.

Davey Boy Smith vs Greg Valentine
We kick off with even more Valentine stooging, this time taking a Flair flop off some Davey offence. Awesomely, DBS locks in a Sharpshooter on Valentine, though Monsoon and Hayes on commentary don't think the move can work as it doesn't allow you to sit all the way back. Funny how things change. Davey keeps control with more matwork. Clip to some Valentine control before DBS hits the running powerslam for 2. Valentine shows his experience advantage by luring smith to the floor before ambushing him on his way back into the ring. Valentine gets the figure four, but Davey Boy powers his way to the ropes. Valentine comes off the second rope with a blow to DBS' head, which is enough for the win. A bit short, you get the impression that all the clipped matches would be pretty good if shown in full

Dynamite Kid vs Brutus Beefcake
Short and sweet. We start with the two exchanging wristlocks, which goes as well as you'd expect for Beefcake. Beefcake uses his size advantage to get control and looks alright, especially a nice stalled suplex. Beefcake throws Kid outside and tries to suplex him in from the apron, but Kid escapes and rolls him up for the win. About 5 minutes of match tops, but everything looked good.

The British Bulldogs vs King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd
So far on this Bulldogs showcase, we've seen them win a 6 man via roll-up, get beaten down for most of the Sheik/Volkoff match, Davey Boy lose two singles matches and Dynamite win his two singles matches via roll-up. Is it likely they'll be allowed to look good in the last match? The early signs are promising: they use their comparative speed and skill as double-teams to control Studd in the early stages, but soon, when going one-on-one with Studd, Davey Boy becomes face-in-peril, as the two monsters dominate. In fairness, Studd and Bundy pull off their roles expertly, looking like beasts and clubbing away at Smith. Soon, however, Dynamite runs in and puts Studd in a sleeper. Bundy runs in and, in the ensuing melee, Studd pushes over the ref to give the Bulldogs a cheap win by DQ. Just to compound making the Bulldogs look like shit, the final shot of their showcase video has the screen freeze on a shoving match between Studd and Bundy. Rule Britannia indeed!