With a show title like this, you'd be forgiven for expecting an appearance by Mike Quackenbush, and you get one. Sort of. He's on commentary for the show, which is an odd reason to name the show after him, but they mention he's also been doing some training in the previous week. As a commentator, he's the best possible Mauro Ranallo, calling move names and referencing luchadors, but without the terrible puns, shit pop culture references and irritating yelling. So nothing like Mauro, I guess.
Chris Vice vs Robbie Eagles
Big size difference here, Vice is a big musclebound man, but
he shows off some nice rounded edges to his work, hitting a nice leaping rana
in the opening moments. He also shows some mat skills, at one point grabbing an
Eagles big boot from the corner, whipping him down and tying him up on the mat.
Later, as Eagles kicks out of a sitout powerbomb, he immediately grabs a leg, locking
in an STF. Nicely, he adjusts as Eagles nears the ropes, switching to Rings of
Saturn. His slingshot shoulderblock looked great and a sitout piledriver felt
like the end. Eagles spends a lot of the match on the defensive, but gets a few
chances to impress. His kicks looks weak in places, but a massive dive into the
crowd is nuts, and the match-winning 450 splash is terrific. Good opener.
Juan Direction (Funny Juan, Giant Juan & Romantic Juan)
vs The VeloCities (Jude London & Paris De Silva) & Mat Rogers
Juan Direction, as you can probably guess, are a lucha
themed boy band, complete with microphone headsets incorporated into their mask
design. The opposition has a less united front, as Rogers is a big beast of a
man who seems disgusted to be teaming with the smaller, goofier VeloCities. He
refuses a tag, leaving London and Paris to work the match, and they do so with
some nice double teams. At one point, Romantic Juan misses a big high senton
and the VeloCities hit a neat double legdrop. They look fluid until Giant Juan
clotheslines De Silva from the apron, and the VeloCities find themselves
struggling to get back in, at a permanent 3-on-2 disadvantage. That is, until
Rogers tags himself in and just dominates. Nothing fancy, just big
shoulderblocks and clotheslines, but they looked pretty beefy. He ends up
1-on-1 with Giant Juan, the largest member of his team, and a big boot and a
pumphandle slam gives Rogers’s team the win.
Gavin McGavin vs Mehmet the Turkish Delight vs Luciano vs
Jax Jordan vs Dean Valente vs Kai Drake
Getting a match like this with 6 guys you’ve never heard of
makes it hard to get a read on these guys. You don’t get enough time to get a
feel for what they can do, but the small snippet I got from each guy didn’t
make me opposed to seeing more. Turkish Delight especially entertained, a tubby
guy in a colourful singlet who the crowd seemed to love. His feud with the
serious Gavin McGavin got the most focus in the match, and Delight seemed like
a fun character. Some nice spots here – dug McGavin avoiding a Sliding D,
adjusting his body to instead get a crucifix for two, Valente had a really
nicely executed DVD and I liked the logic of Jordan still jumping for a
leapfrog when McGavin pulls Delight from the ring as he runs the ropes, just
looked a bit more natural and realistic that he wouldn’t be expecting Mehmet
not to keep running at him. In the end, Luciano, who’d probably had the least
ring time, got the victory with an inverted brainbuster, and this was fun junk
food.
Shazza McKenzie vs Jessica Troy
This is for McKenzie’s PWWA title. Really liked this one, I’d
seen bits from both women before that had been fine enough, but this was the
kind of match that makes you a believer. Lovely mat work at the beginning, nice
logical exchanges with McKenzie being one step ahead. The non-Quack commentator
mentioned a shoulder injury McKenzie had suffered, so it’s not a big surprise
that this soon becomes the focus of Troy’s offence. She takes over in a neat
way, catching a boot on the apron and swinging Shazza face first into her knee,
then zones in on the shoulder. Lovely Atlantis Clutch, followed by some high
kicks directly to the shoulder. McKenzie sells it well for the most part,
despite cartwheeling to safety at one point, as she runs the ropes slightly differently,
arm kept close to the torso. McKenzie’s offence also switches to be mainly
about the kicks and running knees, trying not to use the arm. Troy gets close
to the win with a Fujiwara armbar and a great nearfall from a crucifix, but
McKenzie locks in a quarter Nelson chicken wing for the tap. End slightly came
from nowhere, but I loved this.
Matty Wahlberg vs Mr Juicy
This was stupid, but the right kind of stupid, daft fun
rather than something that makes you embarrassed to like wrestling. It works
due to the strength of the characters. Mr Juicy is a chubby guy in a doughnut
singlet, who comes to the ring with some beers for a party. Wahlberg, in
contrast, is a ripped, tanned jock with an entourage, who insults the amiable
Juicy. It’s an easy story to understand and Juicy is a likable guy, so the fact
some of this is a bit silly doesn’t matter as I got invested in the character,
and primarily in seeing Wahlberg get his. Juicy gets early control with a
clothesline, after one of Wahlberg’s has no effect on him, and the entourage of
Carter Deams and Harley Wonderland both get involved. I assumed for a DQ, but
it turns out they’d ambushed the ref, and left him lying on the floor with his
shirt over his head. Juicy fires back, even taking out Wonderland with a keg
(and this was quite well done. Juicy didn’t just level a woman with a barrel,
he’d twice chosen not to attack her and paid the price, and Wonderland is a
trained wrestler, so it didn’t feel uncomfortable). He piles up all three in
the corner for a bare-arsed stinkface (and Wahlberg ducked, leaving poor Deams
to take the brunt) before a clothesline to the back of the head of Wahlberg
gives him the win.
The Four Nations (Adam Hoffman, Jack Bonza & Mick Moretti)
vs SMS (SnapChad & Unsocial Jordan) & Big Fudge
This was also fun, it’s a match that is there to ultimately
advance a storyline, but it did so effectively. Fudge is a small masked guy,
who is tag title partners with Shazza McKenzie. However, Unsocial Jordan is her
fiancé, and also in a rival tag team, and he’s not a fan of what he perceives
as Fudge using her to gain success. Thus, they’ve got a very uneasy alliance
here, which isn’t good as the Four Nations put on a united front. Thought this
was good, albeit with some clunky comedy sprinkled in. SnapChad and Jordan both
seem better than their gimmicky names would imply, but Fudge seems to be mainly
schtick. His big move is an arse punch, that it’s hard for opponents to sell
and still look credible. Loved some of the heel double-teaming, especially a
sequence of tags, sentons and slingshot sentons on SnapChad that looked great,
all three moved so quickly. A three man Poetry in Motion, with Hoffman skipping
across two men’s back en route to the corner was neat.Jordan shows his
annoyance at Fudge by shoving him out of the way, allowing Jordan to receive
the hot tag, but Fudge still blind tags himself in for some comedy. The end
sees Fudge join in with SMS’s finisher, but Jordan angrily gets distracted by
this, allowing Four Nations to isolate SnapChad and crush him with a towering
splash for the victory.
Michael Spencer vs Ricky South
Spencer is a short, angry little man, thus making him the
perfect choice to fight South’s effeminate lipstick-wearing grappler. Spencer
hits a lot of knee-based offence, so it’s lucky that all his jumping
kneestrikes looked killer. However, he misses a knee in the corner, allowing South
to take over. Nice delayed suplex, before he finishes Spencer with a
head-in-trunks piledriver. A very brief match, but a good one while it lasted.
Jonah Rock vs Caveman Ugg
This is a street fight, and these two don’t hesitate to take
it to the floor. These are some big boys, so it’s impressive how quickly they
can move. At one point, Rock takes the time to chat shit at Quackenbush at the
commentary table, only for Ugg to appear out of nowhere with a cannonball.
Bless Mike Quackenbush for justifying Ugg finding a ladder near the ring by
saying it was used earlier to put up a banner. The ladder comes into play as Ugg
side slams Rock onto it in a big bump. It looked, and sounded brutal. Ugg
monkey flipping Rock through a chair looked great, and Rock getting a Death Valley
Driver was also nicely done. There’s a slightly goofy no-selling section, but
Ugg IS a caveman, so it’s not surprising he’s unable to acknowledge the pain. Rock
hits a superplex through a tack-covered table for two, in a great looking
highspot, before levelling Ugg with a brick and hitting a brainbuster to win. Really
neat main event.
